Chapter 5: An idealistic parrot friend came.

<Need urgent cash>

<50? Ideally around 100... You probably don't have that much, right?>

<Fuck... I'm really sorry. Something urgent came up. If I don't have it, I might actually die.>

It's strange.

A KakaoTalk message that suddenly flew in from a guy who barely ever contacts me unless necessary.

He said he urgently needed about 1 million won.

Did he get into some kind of accident?

But this bastard is a hikikomori loner who never leaves the house, so there's no way he could cause an accident.

"...Is this voice phishing? No, the tone is too much like him for that. It's weird though; he's not the type to make impulse purchases except for manga, so he shouldn't be a guy who needs urgent cash."

I contemplated.

Should I lend it to him? Or not?

For a friendless hikikomori loner, he's surprisingly thorough with money, so I'm sure he'd pay it back... but why am I so anxious this time?

After agonizing over it, I decided to check his situation in person before lending it.

If he's involved in something dangerous, I need to let his parents know immediately.

<I'll lend it. Instead, I'm coming to your house the day after tomorrow. I need to know where you're using 500k won>

<Ah don't bs. Even if you come tomorrow I won't be there.>

<Stop spouting nonsense. A guy who gets exhausted moving for 10 minutes is going out? A passing dog would laugh.>

The day after sending that mocking message.

As soon as I finished my daily routine, I went straight to his one-room apartment.

"Do I have to come here twice a month? It's getting burdensome to deal with his trash every time I visit."

I'm not some cleaner.

It's ridiculous that I have to clean up his trash for his health every time I visit.

"If he hasn't thrown it away today either, I just won't lend him the money. It's a waste to lend money to a bastard who doesn't even make the minimum effort."

Thinking that, I stood in front of the door and rang the doorbell.

Normally, I should hear an annoyed voice, but strangely, I didn't hear a sound.

"...This bastard, surely he didn't actually leave the house?"

No, there's no way that hikikomori loner has that level of initiative.

He probably walked for 5 minutes, realized his lack of fitness, and turned back.

Then the only remaining option is that he's taking a nap until this late hour.

"Seriously, so fucking lazy. While some people wake up at dawn and work like ants."

Trash bastard sucking the marrow out of his parents.

If our conversation goes south today, I should just punch him in the face.

Making up my mind, I entered the password and went inside, where pitch-black darkness welcomed me.

"...Fuck, it smells terrible. Is this a raccoon's den? Why does it smell rotten?"

"Well, it's not a raccoon's den... but it sure seems to be a fox's den."

"What?"

Startled by the unfamiliar voice coming from the side, I hurriedly turned my head, but it was too late; a swinging frying pan was rapidly approaching as if to split my head open.

"My life, fuck."

Clang!

Along with a clear sound, a distant pain began to rise from the top of my head, and a few seconds later, when the pain reached its peak, I couldn't endure it and lost consciousness.

My friend, who took a direct hit from the frying pan I swung, collapsed on the floor as if fainting.

He fell so limply that I wondered if he was dead, but fortunately, he was breathing, so I felt relieved and tied him to the bed.

"I have no ill feelings toward you, friend. Forgive me for making this choice."

— You commit the act first and then ask for forgiveness from the victim who can't even hear you? You really seem like a crazy bitch. By the way, why did you knock him out when you could have resolved it with words?

"Because there are only two things he would do the moment he sees this appearance."

— Two things? What are they?

"Either rape me like a dog, or run away like a dog. If he came in drunk, the probability of the former would be very high, and if he's sober like usual, the probability of the latter would be high."

When I answered immediately, the Fox God asked back with a dumbfounded face.

— They say birds of a feather flock together, and indeed, vulgarity runs in the company you keep.

"Don't talk crazy. Unlike that animal-fucker with abnormal fetishes, I am a 'Man of Culture' with normal sexual desires."

— That is the best joke I have heard so far. Is this what you call 'bullshit' in your terms?

"What bullshit? You saw the client calling me a 'Man of Culture' yesterday too."

— ...No matter how I look at it, it just looked like two of the same kind comforting each other.

The Fox God, looking at me with pathetic eyes, looked at my friend lying on the bed and said to me.

— You seem very close.

"Rather than close, he's a troublesome guy. We've been friends for 19 years, so we know each other too well."

— Fufu... Then isn't it a good connection? It wouldn't be bad to extract Vitality from your friend instead...

"Don't bullshit me. I'm not gay, why would I extract Vitality from that bastard? What kind of crazy bastard chooses both 'Kissing your homie' and 'Kissing your homie's balls'?"

— In my view, you are already enough of a madman. Since you are already crazy, would it matter if you did something even crazier?

Seeing her trying to persuade me somehow, I brought a kitchen knife from the kitchen and held it to my wrist.

"Keep yapping. If I slit my wrist and kill myself right here, we perish together, right?"

— I am sorry... It was all My fault.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I just want to die."

In the first place, a guy extracting Vitality from another guy doesn't even make sense, right?

At least if I kill myself now, I won't feel mental pain.

Wow, even thinking about it myself, it's a genius idea.

— Calm down, you. You seem too excited right now.

"I am sufficiently calm right now. I lost everything precious in just two days; would you want to live if you were me?"

— If you mean precious things, you must mean your genitals. Is mating that important?

"Do you think I'm saying this just because of genitals?"

I glared at the Fox God, took my ID out of the wallet on the desk, and showed it to her.

"Look, this is a means to prove my identity, right? But my appearance has changed like this. So, can I prove my identity? Or not?"

— ...It seems you cannot.

"Right, I can't prove my identity. And all the human relationships I've built up until now will collapse completely. You asked earlier why I hit my 19-year friend on the head? If I didn't hit him, I would have been dragged away by the police for breaking and entering. The owner of this house is my previous body, not this body."

It's a very sorry story for my friend, but I planned to hit him on the head from the moment he entered.

If he had been drinking, the probability of getting raped would be nearly 70 percent, and if he hadn't, he would have reported me for breaking and entering as soon as he saw me.

Since either way was practically the worst-case scenario, I decided to confine my friend first and then take time to persuade him.

Of course, since I have a terminal life with 6 days left, I won't be able to use much time.

By the way, how do I really persuade him? He looks easy, but he's a surprisingly cold-headed bastard, so he probably won't believe me even if I reveal all my dark history.

Tsk, if it doesn't work, I'll have to threaten him or find another way.

Was I lost in thought for a bit too long?

The Fox God spoke to me with a voice full of worry.

— A-Are you okay?

"With what? Persuading him? Well, what I'm doing is practically being a real-life Yandere, but what can I do? I'll just have to pretend to be possessed by a Yandere for a moment and try to persuade him."

— Not that, I mean your human relationships. Didn't you suffer damage because I appointed you as an Apostle too hastily...

"Don't mind it. How many humans are close to me anyway? At most, it's just that bastard and my family. The rest are just commission applicants whose faces I don't even know. And if I persuade that guy tied to the bed, persuading my family won't be a problem."

The difference between having one person vouch for you and none is huge.

If I can persuade that furry-lover bastard, I can easily persuade my family who doesn't pay much attention to me.

"Will persuasion succeed immediately if I let him touch my tails? They do look quite fluffy."

— They don't just look fluffy, they are fluffy! You have no idea how comfortable it is to hug them while sleeping!

"...Wait, you can hug them while sleeping?"

At the Fox God's advice, I carefully tucked a tail between my thighs.

Let's see.

I can hug exactly one out of the nine while sleeping.

If I put other tails between my legs, it might actually be too uncomfortable to sleep.

Thinking this, I hugged the tail, and the feeling of hugging a soft doll combined with the unique softness of fox fur gave me a murderous level of comfort.

This is a cheat item.

I could sleep really comfortably if I hug this at night.

...Except that my crotch is a bit too itchy.

Was I spending a happy time hugging the drug-like tail?

It seemed it was time to wake up, as my friend groaned and started to regain consciousness.

"Ouch, my head... Just what kind of crazy bitch hits someone on the head with a frying pan?"

"It's this bitch, you fucker. Friends can hit each other's heads with a frying pan sometimes; why are you making a fuss like a girl?"

"...That's a voice I've never heard. The tone is that bastard's, but the voice isn't that bastard's."

My friend, speaking with a chilly voice, looked at me with murderous eyes even while tied to the bed and said.

"Where did you sell my friend? You fucking bitch."