Chapter 6: Tell me the truth. You like this, don't you?

Geez, he's looking at me like he wants to kill someone.

Is getting hit with a frying pan and tied to a bed really that unpleasant?

Hmm, well, I guess it would be unpleasant.

If he got hit from the front, it might have been less so, but getting whacked on the back of the head... yeah, even I think that would feel shitty.

To my friend who was tied to the bed and glaring at me with murderous eyes, I gave a despicable smile and said.

"Well, what did I do? Did I eat his liver? Or did I suck all his Vitality and throw him out the window?"

I didn't really intend to joke around.

But my friend's serious demeanor was so funny that I couldn't help but tease him.

How do I handle the aftermath?

I don't know, future me will take care of it.

Sure enough.

The provocation worked quite powerfully; he started struggling while staring at me with a genuinely pissed-off face.

"You fucking bitch? Did you kill him?"

"Well, maybe he's still alive?"

"Don't fuck around. If that bastard is dead, you're definitely dead by my hands. Just know that the moment I rip these ropes, I'm sending you straight to him."

Threatening me with murderous eyes, he pulled the ropes taut, and soon, with a sizzling sound, the ropes began to snap slowly.

"Holy fuck, he's tearing that?"

"Just wait a little bit. I'll tear you apart too."

"Yeah, not gonna happen."

Clang!

Just before the rope snapped, I whacked his head again with the prepared frying pan, and the guy, getting his head bonked, fainted again with his tongue sticking out.

"Truly a crazy gym rat. Telling him not to untie it, so he just rips it with brute force."

Although it was only for a split second, I really thought I was going to die.

It's the first time I've seen my pushover friend this pissed off, and it's the first time in my life I've felt like I could be killed just by a look.

"I need to reinforce it. One rope isn't going to cut it. I need to wrap at least three."

— ...Why on earth does a normal household have ropes? I truly cannot understand.

"I prepared them just in case. Living alone in a one-room apartment, you never know if a thug might suddenly barge in and threaten my life, right?"

— There is a better suppression tool right next to you than a rope. Why use a rope?

"Idiot. A frying pan is a cooking utensil, not a suppression tool like a taser gun. Have you ever seen someone beating a person with a cooking utensil?"

— Didn't you just swing it at your friend about twice? Perhaps, that tool is not a cooking utensil but a suppression tool?

Oops.

"Well, situations can arise where you might hit someone with a cooking utensil. Like right now."

— There is no forced logic like this. Isn't it just 'an earring if you hang it on the ear, a nose ring if you hang it on the nose'? (Meaning: interpreting things however one wants)

"Yeah, I guess so? Anyway, that was really close. How the hell did he think of ripping this thick thing?"

— He applied force because he was confident. Seeing that, your friend doesn't seem to be a normal human either.

He isn't a normal human.

In the first place, hitting a 800 total (in big 3 lifts) already takes you out of the realm of the fucking average person, right?

"Just looking at his body, you get the feeling, right? If you can call him a normal person even after seeing those murderous muscles, you should rip your eyes out."

— Puhuhu... That is true. I spoke too obvious a fact.

After tying three of those thick ropes to each of his limbs, I brought cold water from the fridge and poured it on him.

"Cough... Cough... Ugh... My head..."

"Don't exaggerate. What's a guy filled with muscle even up to his brain complaining about pain for?"

"Why don't you get hit yourself and say that? Once I break these ropes, I'll smash your head with that frying pan first."

"If it's possible, that is. But, do you think you can break them in your current situation? I wrapped three lines of sturdy rope."

When I mocked him right in front of his eyes while explaining his situation, my friend slowly calmed his anger and asked me calmly.

"...Can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"What did you do to my friend? It doesn't smell like semen or blood in the room to say you killed him."

"Sharp. Since you're a guy with only muscles in your brain, I thought you'd just get angry blindly."

He's a pushover, stupid, and knows nothing but muscles, so I didn't expect him to be capable of such calm thinking.

Is it like an awakening before death? Though I never thought about killing him.

"Why are you acting like you know me when we've never met? It's extremely unpleasant for a yokai I've never encountered to act familiar."

"Well? To say 'when we've never met', I've actually been meeting you continuously for quite a long time."

"No, we haven't. There aren't many fox yokai left who can transform into human form. Bitches who are busy hiding wouldn't dare reveal themselves in front of an exorcist, would they?"

"I keep giving you hints, are you pretending not to know? Or do you really not know? And, were you an exorcist?"

Last time I heard, he was definitely a gym trainer, not an exorcist.

Did he change jobs to a yokai-beating exorcist in a month?

Well, looking at his muscles alone, it seems he could suppress monsters appearing in fantasy or martial arts novels.

In a way, being an exorcist might be a fitting job for him.

As I looked at him with understanding, he looked at me with a face saying he didn't understand.

"Wouldn't a yokai recognize an exorcist immediately? Especially a Nine-tailed Fox like you with high-ranking demonic power (You-ryok), you should have noticed from afar? No wait, you smashed my head with a frying pan as soon as I entered, so in a way, did you notice immediately?"

"Hah... This is really frustrating. Stop misunderstanding, you retard. I thought your intelligence increased, but nothing has changed."

"Misunderstanding? What are you trying to say?"

"You said it yourself. No smell of semen, no smell of blood, so I couldn't have killed him. Plus, one Nine-tailed Fox here pretending to know you very well. Doesn't anything come to mind?"

"A Nine-tailed Fox that eats a friend's memories and impersonates the friend... You bitch are truly malicious. So, what did you do to my friend whose memories you lost?"

...Wait, absorbing memories was possible?

Hold on, if it's like this, mentioning dark history won't be an answer either?

I'm seriously fucked?

Realizing the situation was heading towards catastrophe, I left my friend tied to the ropes and spoke to the Fox God.

"Hey, let me ask you one thing."

"What?"

"No, not you. I mean the Fox God. What did you do to my body? Like he said, did you bring some idle Nine-tailed Fox, plant my memories in her, and throw my body somewhere?"

— Ha, do you think I would use such an inferior method on My Apostle? Of course, I transformed your entire body. With the demonic power that remains only as much as a rat's tail, at that.

"Really? So now my original body doesn't exist in this world?"

— Correct. I feel sorry for changing your body without permission, but if I used such an inferior method, your mind itself could have become strange.

"Couldn't you have just not changed the body? Then this bastard wouldn't be staring at me like he wants to kill me."

— ...I didn't want to die as soon as I woke up from the seal. You, who had a fun time looking at My naked body, are also at fault, so I hope you understand that much.

Understand my ass.

It's instinct for a man to masturbate when seeing something arousing.

Spouting bullshit that such instinct is a sin, this dog-like... no, bitch.

Since I knew that the Fox God didn't swap my body with someone else, I approached my friend and spoke with a smile.

"Hey, she says it wasn't a swap. She says she just transformed the body itself?"

"Don't say funny things. That deviates from reason. Even most Great Yokai wouldn't commit such crazy acts."

"What if it's not a Great Yokai, but a yokai who has reached the realm of a god? Wouldn't it be possible? I have zero knowledge regarding that, so I can't really know."

Please don't speak in terms only you know, speak in terms I know, you fucker.

The story is so fucking complicated I can't understand.

"Let's stop with the complicated story, bastard. Yokai, exorcist, whatever, it's fucking boring and uninspiring. It's better to discuss the aesthetics of arousal regarding Fox Beastkin during that time."

Was it because a topic arousing to him came up?

Even while bound, his eyes shined as he spoke to me.

"...Fox Beastkin? Are you talking about the ones closer to human form, or the ones closer to animal form."

"Obviously, I'm talking about the ones closer to human form. If you masturbate to something closer to an animal form, that's an abnormal fetishist; is that a normal sexual desire?"

"Ha, ridiculous. Because they have the form of a beast, because they have a slightly more primal appearance, there is arousal. You ignorant bastard who knows nothing about arousal."

"This bastard is saying that again. Humans should be aroused by humans; if you're aroused by beasts, isn't that abnormal desire?"

"Sticking it into a fox in human form, or sticking it into a human in fox form, isn't it all the same? It's bestiality either way, so there's no need to discriminate."

This is giving me a headache, fuck.

But since he's right, I can't refute it.

As I couldn't refute his point that hit the bullseye, the Fox God, who was looking at us pathetically from the side, held her head and said to me.

— They say birds of a feather flock together; that saying wasn't wrong. Indeed, I didn't even expect your friend to be a normal exorcist.

"Still, if you ignore this guy's fetish, he's a more normal guy than me. His human relationships are smooth too."

— Isn't the most important fetish abnormal? Does that exorcist have a lover now? Judging by the smell of virginity wafting off him, it seems he doesn't have a lover.

"Hey, still, if he puts his mind to it, he can get a girlfriend. He can lose his virginity too. That guy's face... hmm, no. He can't get one."

When I shook my head after seeing his murderous muscles and vicious impression, the guy started growling, making his already vicious face look even more vicious.

"You fucking bitch?"

"Why, I'm right. Look in the mirror and think conscientiously. Whether you have a face that can get a girlfriend."

"...Muscles do not lie."

"Yeah, they tell the truth that you can't get a girlfriend. It's true they don't lie."

"..."

Continuing to tease my friend, I cautiously approached him and started tickling his ear with a fluffy tail.

"So, by this point, it's worth admitting, isn't it? Who else besides me would debate on retarded topics, whack a friend's head with a frying pan, and be fanatically obsessed with Fox Beastkin?"

"...First, move this fucking tail before you speak. Before I rip it off."

"Fucking tail? You call a tail that is this fluffy and looks so cozy to touch a fucking tail? That's not something that should come out of your mouth."

"Sh-Shut up. I will never succumb to such a fluffy and erotic tail. Do you think I would succumb just because I see an erotic tail?"

"Yeah, judging by how red your face is right now, it looks like you'll succumb soon. One tail isn't enough, so shall I use other tails too?"

As I tickled his other remaining ear with another tail, he trembled from the ticklishness and spoke with an excited voice.

"I! Will never! Succumb! No matter how many super erotic tails are added! I will not hold sexual desire for the likes of you!"

"Hey, tell the truth. You like this too, right? Just admit me as your friend already. Then I'll let you taste paradise."

"I, I..."

To my friend who wouldn't declare surrender until the end, I used a third tail to cover his face and said.

"If you can endure this too, I'll acknowledge you. But, will you really be able to endure this?"