Chapter 4: The Physical Fitness Test

Wednesday. The middle of the week. The day when hope for the weekend is still a distant speck on the horizon.

For Shido "Shiori" Itsuka, it was D-Day.

"Physical Fitness Test..."

Shido stared at the notice board in the hallway, his soul leaking out of his mouth.

Beside him, Tohka was bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Oh! A test of strength! Like a tournament?"

"No, Tohka. It's humiliation. Quantified, recorded humiliation."

"I am excited!" Tohka declared, punching the air. "I want to see how strong Shido is now! Kotori said your mana levels are spiking because of the... um... girl-ification."

"Please stop saying that word loudly."

"Target confirmed," a monotone voice spoke from Shido's left.

Origami Tobiichi appeared, wearing her gym uniform. As always, she looked ready for a special ops mission rather than high school PE.

"Shido. I have analyzed the averages for a female high school student. To avoid suspicion, you must aim for these metrics." She handed him a piece of paper.

Shido scanned it. "Grip strength: 25kg. 50m dash: 8.5 seconds. Sit-ups: 20. Okay. That seems doable. I just have to hold back."

"If you fail," Origami added, adjusting her headband, "I have prepared a bribe for the PE teacher."

"Please don't bribe the teachers!"

---

The Gymnasium - 9:00 AM

The smell of floor wax and rubber filled the air. The girls of Year 2, Class 4 were stretching in their bloomers and t-shirts.

Shido stood in the back row, trying to make himself as small as possible. He felt a draft. Bloomers were an invention of the devil.

"Okay, girls! Pair up for stretches!" Takamizawa-sensei blew her whistle.

"Shido! Let's pair up!" Tohka grabbed his hand.

"S-Sure."

They sat on the floor facing each other. Shido spread his legs—keeping his knees bent slightly for modesty—and Tohka pressed her feet against his.

"Ready? Push!" Tohka beamed.

She grabbed Shido's hands and pulled.

"Whoa!"

Shido flew forward. His face buried itself directly into Tohka’s chest.

"Mmph?!"

The gym went silent.

"Ooh," Tohka blinked. "Shido, you're very flexible."

"I—I slipped!" Shido scrambled back, his face burning hotter than a star. "Tohka! You have super strength! Be gentle!"

"Sorry! I forgot!"

From across the gym, Shido felt a piercing gaze. Ai, Mai, and Mii were watching him like hawks.

"Did you see that?" Ai whispered.
"Shiori-chan... she's a player," Mai nodded gravely.
"She went right for the boob burial," Mii noted. "Respect."

---

Station 1: Grip Strength

"Next! Itsuka Shiori!"

Shido stepped up to the dynamometer. It was a simple digital device. You squeeze the handle, it tells you how strong you are.

Okay, Shido thought. Average is 25kg. I'm a guy, usually, so I'm around 45kg. But now I have Spirit Mana coursing through me. I need to be extremely gentle.

He gripped the handle.

Gentle. Like holding a baby bird. Like holding a soap bubble.

He squeezed.

CRUNCH.

It wasn't a beep. It was the sound of plastic shattering and metal twisting.

Shido looked down. The dynamometer was bent into a 'U' shape. The digital screen was cracked and displayed a frantic error message: ERR: GODZILLA DETECTED.

"..."

The teacher blinked. "Itsuka-san?"

"I..." Shido panicked. "It... It was broken when I touched it!"

"Allow me to verify." Origami stepped in smoothly. She snatched the broken device from Shido’s hand and replaced it with a pristine one from her pocket in a sleight of hand so fast it was invisible to the naked eye.

"Equipment malfunction verified," Origami stated. "This device is faulty. Use this one."

She handed the new one to the teacher.

"U-Uh, okay," the teacher stammered. "Try again, Itsuka-san."

Shido took the new device. He barely touched it. He applied the pressure one might use to press a elevator button.

Beep. 26kg.

"Perfect average!" Shido shouted a little too loudly. "I am a normal girl!"

---

Station 2: The 50-Meter Dash

The track field was bathed in sunlight.

"On your marks," the teacher called out. "Get set..."

Shido crouched in the starting blocks. Next to him was Tohka.

"I won't lose, Shido!" Tohka grinned, her competitive spirit blazing.

"It's not a race, Tohka! It's just a measurement!"

"Go!"

BANG.

Tohka launched herself like a rocket. Dust kicked up behind her. She tore down the track, crossing the finish line in a blur.

"5.8 seconds!" the teacher yelled, checking her stopwatch in disbelief. "Yatogami-san, are you an Olympian?!"

"Now, Shido!"

Shido started running. He tried to keep a moderate pace. Left, right, left, right. Don't go too fast. Keep your arms tucked.

He was doing well. He was on track for a solid 8 seconds.

Then, he heard it.

A buzzing sound. Like a bee.

"Bzzzzzz."

Something flew past his ear.

"Bzzzzzz."

Shido glanced to the side. Flying alongside him, matching his speed perfectly, was... a beetle?

No. It was a mechanical drone shaped like a beetle. And it had a tiny speaker.

"Run, piggy, run!" the beetle squeaked in a high-pitched, mocking voice. "Look at that fat jiggle! Wiggle, wiggle!"

"What?!" Shido flushed. "I am not jiggling!"

"Oh, you are! Your thighs are thunderous! Earthquake! Earthquake!"

"Shut up!"

Shido forgot about holding back. Rage—and embarrassment—took over. He pushed off the ground with all his might.

BOOM.

The ground beneath his foot cratered. Shido shot forward like a bullet train. He overtook the other runners. He overtook the wind.

He crossed the finish line. He couldn't stop. He plowed into the crash mats at the end of the track, sending them flying into the chain-link fence.

The dust settled.

"..."

The teacher stared at her stopwatch. She tapped it. She shook it.

"3... 3.2 seconds?"

"Equipment malfunction!" Origami shouted immediately from the sidelines. "The stopwatch is clearly broken due to solar flares!"

"Y-Yes," Shido groaned, untangling himself from the mats. "Solar flares. That must be it."

---

Station 3: The Weigh-In

This was it. The event every high school girl dreaded.

Height and Weight measurement.

The girls were lined up in the nurse's office. The atmosphere was tense. Secrets were about to be revealed.

"I gained two kilograms..." one girl whispered, looking like she wanted to cry.
"It's just water weight," her friend consoled her.

Shido stood in line, clutching his tracking sheet.

Why am I nervous? he thought. I'm a guy. My weight is fine. Actually, I lost height, so my BMI might be weird... wait, did Natsumi change my bone density too?

"Next! Itsuka Shiori!"

Shido stepped up to the scale. It was an old-fashioned analog scale with a height rod.

"Step on," the nurse said.

Shido stepped onto the platform.

The nurse adjusted the height rod. "160cm."

"I lost 10cm..." Shido wept internally.

"Okay, now weight."

The nurse moved the slider.

The needle wobbled. It settled.

Then, it kept moving.

It spun past 50kg. Past 60kg. Past 70kg.

"Huh?" The nurse frowned. "That can't be right."

The needle kept going. It hit 100kg. It hit the maximum limit of the scale. It spun around again.

Clang.

The scale groaned under Shido's feet.

"Itsuka-san?" The nurse looked at Shido’s slender frame. "Are you... carrying lead bars in your pockets?"

"No!" Shido looked down at the scale. "I swear I'm not!"

Suddenly, the display face of the scale shifted. The numbers vanished. Instead, a digital LED message scrolled across the tiny window where the weight should be.

ONE. TON. PIG.

ONE. TON. PIG.

Shido froze.

Then, the scale spoke.

"Heavy! So heavy! Get off me, you whale! My springs are breaking! Oink oink!"

The voice was loud. The entire nurse's office heard it.

"Did... did the scale just call her a whale?"
"Did it oink?"

"Natsumi!" Shido hissed, staring at the machine.

The scale vibrated. "Oh look, she's talking to inanimate objects now! Maybe the fat clogged your brain!"

"That's it!"

Shido hopped off the scale. He grabbed the metal neck of the weighing machine.

"You want to play games?!" Shido shouted, shaking the scale violently. "Turn me back right now!"

"Help! Abuse! Staff abuse! The fat girl is violent!" the scale screamed.

"Itsuka-san! Stop!" The nurse tried to intervene.

"Gotcha!"

Shido ignored the nurse. He hoisted the heavy metal scale over his head with his enhanced strength.

"I know you're in there!"

He ran. He ran out of the nurse's office, carrying the screaming scale over his head like a trophy.

"Get back here, Shiori!" Origami shouted, chasing after him with a camera. "I need to record your weight for my database!"

"Shido! Are we throwing things?!" Tohka yelled, grabbing a fire extinguisher and running after them. "I want to throw things too!"

The chase tore through the hallway.

"Put me down! I'm getting motion sickness!" the scale whined.

"Not until you turn me back!" Shido roared, sprinting toward the courtyard.

He reached the open grass. He prepared to slam the scale into the ground—gently, just to scare her.

But mid-swing, the scale glowed.

POOF.

The heavy metal weight vanished.

In Shido’s hands, instead of a scale, he was now holding...

A pair of panties.

Striped ones.

And standing in front of him was the principal of Raizen High School.

The principal looked down. He was missing his pants.

He looked at Shido. He looked at the panties in Shido's hands.

"..."

"..."

"I..." Shido stammered. "These fell?"

"Pervert! Pervert! Shiori is a panty thief!" A disembodied voice echoed from the roof of the school building.

Looking up, Shido saw a small figure sitting on the edge of the roof. A little girl in a witch's hat.

Natsumi.

She stuck her tongue out, pulled down an eyelid, and vanished into thin air.

"Natsumiiiiiiiiiiii!!"

Shido’s scream of frustration echoed across the campus, mingled with the sound of camera shutters as Origami documented the crime scene.