Chapter 11: IF・Vol.3 Eden Treaty Arc – A New Life

Hey there, Observers. It’s me.

What? You didn’t think I’d still be alive? “How did a weak little slug like you manage to survive after all that?” you say? Rude… is what I thought, but honestly, I kind of agree. The fact that I’m alive right now is nothing short of a miracle—and it’s thanks to everyone.

Originally, I—the Cleaner—was supposed to be handed over to Valkyrie and locked up basically forever. That’s how serious my crimes were. But then our beloved Sensei stepped in with a single divine command: “She’s my student.” A saint, is he?

Well, I did receive a light punishment from him in exchange… Huh? The details? …What are you all doing? Why do you want to hear about someone’s shameful moments? Besides, just thinking about it makes my backside throb, so I’d rather not…

“Nngh!”

“…? What’s wrong?”

“N-no… it’s nothing…”

And that’s the end of that topic!

Anyway, as for my current situation… I’m working as an employee at Problem Solver 68. Yeah, I know—who do I think I am?

Really, I owe everything to Aru-sama. Even though I avoided prison time, they obviously couldn’t let someone like me join an organization like SCHALE. Sensei also only just got appointed, so I couldn’t burden him too much.

Meaning, if things had continued as they were, I would’ve ended up wandering the streets. The ones who saved me were Aru-sama and the others at Problem Solver 68.

Even though I once tried to kill them…

And at the time, I didn’t have much to offer in return. Most of the money I’d saved had been burned on building combat dolls for the Train Battle. The rest vanished when I paid for the damages afterward.

All I had left were my minimally repaired “former” Cleaner Doll… and just enough money to survive for a few months if I pushed myself.

And yet they still took me in…

…Come to think of it, when Aru-sama—just the other day—asked how much it cost to create a single combat doll, I answered honestly, and she made the strangest face… I wonder what that was about.

And so, I, Amari Komori, have officially become one of Problem Solver 68’s employees. My title is “engineer”… Engineer? Is that even an official position? Well… whatever.

So, what am I doing right now, you ask…?

“Komori! Hand me that firewood!”

“Y-yes…”

I’m enjoying camp life under the night sky.

Yes, enjoying camp life.

“I’ve got bento~”

“Ah, th-thank you… I’ll eat…”

How did things end up like this…? Well. There’s a reason—one far deeper than the darkness in a Trinity girl’s heart.

Remember how I said we’d probably get tons of requests from now on? Well, that part was correct. We did get lots of requests. The requests did, anyway.

But… how should I put this…? There were a lot of “Cleaner-type” requests. Some were even fake jobs meant to sabotage Problem Solver 68.

And for those requests, Aru-sama deliberately messed them up or turned the tables on the clients. That’s exactly the kind of person she is. Back then, I would’ve accepted those jobs without caring about right or wrong, as long as the money was good.

Eventually, after failing enough jobs, the Cleaner incident got written off as a coincidence—or maybe as my mistake—and somehow Problem Solver 68’s reputation settled back down to something like, “Problem Solver 68? Oh yeah, that group existed.” In other words, everything had gone exactly as Aru-sama planned… but of course, that outcome came with a price. We ran out of money.

If there are no requests, there’s no income. Simple as that.

“Hey, Komori! Are there any requests yet!?”

“Ah, um… yes… there are…”

“What what!? What do we have!?”

Aru-sama leans in with sparkling eyes. Please stop. Your face is too perfect. I might die.

But I still do my job. I connect to our newly made Problem Solver 68 account and check the incoming mail.

“…There are three…”

“And!?”

“The first… is bodyguard duty… for an important person…”

“Oh! Sounds nice!”

“By the way… that important person is… well, a buyer. A really dangerous criminal… Even if we succeed, I don’t think we’d make it back unharmed…”

“Then we just kill them all, right!?”

“…If we do that, we won’t get the reward…”

“…N-next! What’s the next one!?”

“The second… assassination.”

“Heh— …Assassination!?!?”

“Yes. ‘Assassination.’ As in, kill someone in the dark… assassination…”

“T-that kind of thing is a bit…”

“And the last?”

“…The last one is… finding something.”

“Finding something?”

“They dropped their wallet… and want us to find it…”

“Just ask Valkyrie for that!!”

Unfortunately, it seems none of these were the kind of job that would excite her.

“…But we don’t have any money… right?”

“D-don’t worry. We still have food supplies—”

“…Boss, this looks like the last bento.”

“…Guess we don’t.”

It seems the stock of bentos Sensei gave us has officially run out.

“…Then, if I take one of those jobs… it would solve the problem?”

So I present the most logical solution. Honestly, those types of requests (the first two) pay the highest reward. And with my chassis, any traps set by a buyer wouldn’t really matter. Humans might get drugged if someone slips something into their drink, but for a machine, that’s meaningless.

“No!”

“Fweh!?”

Aru-sama grabs my shoulders and pulls her perfectly shaped face dangerously close. Please stop. I will actually die.

“I can’t let one of my employees do something that dangerous!”

“N-no, but… in my case, I would just use that, so…”

“Even then!”

“B-but…”

“…Now that I think about it, Komori, didn’t Sensei tell you last time that if you did something bad again, you’d be ‘punished’? Doesn’t this count as doing something bad?”

“Hm…? Pu…nish…ment…────────!!!”

“W-wait!? Are you okay!? Kayoko, what did you say!?”

“…For her dignity, I won’t repeat it.”

“…I-if my body can help cover everyone’s food expenses… then I… I’ll just—!”

“That’s some intense resolve!?”

“I-I’ll go with her too!”

“Then me too~”

“No!?”

Muu… then what should we do? The reward from that last request—the wallet search—is going to be tiny. And with me joining Problem Solver 68, our food expenses have gone up… If taking a punishment would help everyone… I-I personally wouldn’t mind… but the goal here is money.

Still, what now? At this rate, we have no way to earn any.

That was when—

“Looks like you’re all… not doing so well?”

“Sensei!”

“Ah… Sensei… at this hour…”

“I snuck out.”

“…Seriously?”

A man arrives at the park. It is, without a doubt, Sensei.

“……”

“Long time no see, Komori.”

“…Long time, yes…”

“…Were you planning to do something bad?”

“!”

“Komori?”

“I—I wasn’t…!”

“Then we’re good.”

A creepy shiver ran down my spine and I instinctively put my hand behind me, but… I can’t help it. …Did Sensei do something to me? Stop it, enough already! Don’t ask!

“Here, your bentos.”

“Wow! They look delicious!”

“…Ooooh! …Grilled meat… bento…! A legendary bento…!”

Drool practically spilled from my mouth.

The shining meat oil… just looking at it made my stomach growl.

“Sensei… hurry… give it to me…!”

“Before that, Komori.”

“W-what…?”

“You haven’t been going to school, right?”

“Ugh…!”

“You’ve been turning in tests somehow, but your grades are awful.”

“Gah…!”

“So, if you want this bento, at least go to school once, okay?”

This…! Sensei! How underhanded!

I retract every good thing I ever said. This man is a devil. A demon. A fiend! Trying to force me to go to school by bribing me with food!

“…Sensei, I… would rather starve to death than go to school…!”

“That’s some serious resolve!”

“…Well then, I guess I’ll have to punish you~…”

“I surrender. I, Amari Komori, will go to school.”

“That was fast!?”

Cowardly. Utterly cowardly!

The peak of humiliation──────!

And so, I was forced once again to set foot into that hell!

“You don’t need to look like you’re dying… I already talked to them. If you show up once tomorrow, that’s enough.”

“…! R-really…?”

“Yep.”

Correction of my correction. He truly was a saint. If it’s just one day, I—yes, even I—can endure that hell known as school. I’m not going to die after all!

“The Tea Party wants to talk to you a little, though.”

…Sorry, I lied. Tomorrow is the day I die.