Chapter 4: Trying to Put in a Request

I want information on Problem Solver 68. But I have no way to obtain it.

And so, the ultimate method I devised was to place a request with them myself. Yes—I would become the client and steal the information directly. Truly, a stroke of genius.

However, there was one problem.

How exactly was I supposed to give them a request? That was the issue.

Why not just call them? That idea is far too careless. Think back to the previous job. When my shot was blocked, her subordinate instantly sensed my position and glared right at me. In just three seconds.

And the very concept of noticing a sniper shot, predicting the bullet trajectory, and throwing one’s own body into the line to block it—such a thing should be impossible.

From those two moments, only one conclusion remains: my position—my information—had already been leaked beforehand. Even the exact location of my sniping point, something no client over the phone should ever know.

In other words, their information-gathering ability far surpasses mine. And the fact that, even knowing a sniper was aiming at them, they didn’t move until I pulled the trigger proves just how confident they are in their ability to respond even when acting second.

It’s safe to assume they’ve already traced me back and extracted at least some of my information. There’s a high chance they have a grasp on the communication lines I use.

My appearance? Probably completely exposed, too.

But—there is one piece of information that shouldn’t be tied to me yet.

That is the true identity of the mercenary known as “the Cleaner.”

In this world where robots, dogs, and cats can exist as full-fledged adults, they—no, everyone who knows of the Cleaner—likely assumes the radio-controlled drone is the real body.

But that’s wrong. That thing is just a robot. The real one is me.

There’s no camera that shows the inside of this filthy disaster zone I call my room. Even among fellow mercenaries, no one knows the Cleaner is actually a child like me.

No one can reach the truth of “I = Cleaner.”

Therefore, the optimal solution is to visit Problem Solver 68’s office in person and place a request.

…That’s how it should be…

"But I can’t… It’s hot… There are scary people everywhere… Impossible… The only path leads to death…"

The outside world was hell.

For me, going outside is basically gambling with my life. And the office I live in is inside the crime-ridden Black Market. To make things worse, Problem Solver 68’s office is inside Gehenna Academy. Gehenna—practically hostile territory to Trinity General Academy, the school I (sort of) belong to.

In Blue Archive, Kivotos portrayed each academy as its own sovereign nation… I’m pretty sure. And that seems to be true in this reincarnated world as well. Which means what I’m about to do is essentially traveling alone between two nations in a state of cold war.

"Please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me…"

I honestly should have brought stomach medicine.

Since I never go outside, I barely own any decent clothes. I threw on an ill-fitting T-shirt I bought as a joke with the word “Unemployed” printed huge across the front, then layered a likewise ill-sized hoodie over it to hide the very, very Trinity-looking wings on my back.

All the stares hurt. They’re terrifying, and they hurt.

I feel sick. I might actually die today.

"I-I finally… made it…"

I finally reached Problem Solver 68’s office. Normally, it should feel like a den full of enemies, but in my mentally exhausted state, it looked like paradise.

With sparkling eyes, I pressed the intercom. It was probably the first time in my life I rang someone’s doorbell with genuine excitement.

But that excitement dulled my judgment and made me careless.

Ah… if only I had taken one step back, I could have avoided the tragedy that followed.

"Comiiing!"

With that cheerful voice, the door swung open—

"Ow!?"

—and struck me directly in the forehead.

My consciousness drifted. The pain sharpened. And the last thought that crossed my mind was, “Yep… the outside world is terrifying.”

"…Are you okay?"

"…………—!?!!!?"

I woke up to find a handsome guy in front of me.

No—no messing around! (I’m not messing around, but still.) I already had my flashback in the dream, so now I need to assess the situation.

…It looks like I’m lying on a sofa. The place is likely Problem Solver 68’s office. I can tell because the other four I once saw through a sniper scope are now looking at me with the same concern as the man in front.

The office itself… doesn’t look suspicious. The door is probably locked, but there aren’t bars on the windows. If something happens, I can escape. As for weapons… they have whatever they’re carrying, plus two massive ones hanging on the wall. Unfortunately, I’m a delicate little girl who can’t lift anything heavier than a handgun.

…No, the situation is pretty bad, but I should stop mentally fleeing from the handsome guy right in front of me.

Who is this guy? He looks like the type who would betray someone in a dramatic plot twist. He’s cool. Unfairly cool. Annoyingly appealing.

But something is strange. I don’t know much about the outside world, but at the very least, in Kivotos, adults are supposed to be robots, animals, or other non-human beings. I’ve never seen a fully human adult—much less a human man.

—Except for one single exception.

But that should be impossible. After all, that picture drawn by that AI proves it.

Still, I should at least ask.

"A-um… You’re all… Problem Solver 68, right…?"

"Yes, that’s us!"

"Th-then… this person is…?"

"He’s our business advisor—Sensei from Schale!"

…It is Sensei.

No, impossible! Because! Because in that illustration said to be drawn by Arona, the support AI, Sensei’s hairline was retreating and he looked half-dead!

"How do you do? I’m Sensei."

…It is Sensei.

He even flashed an official Schale ID. He’s completely, undeniably Sensei. Where’s the hair? The trademark hair? What happened to it?

…Okay, enough running from reality.

I already knew Problem Solver 68 had ties with Schale. And the possibility of running into Sensei at their office was something I had considered. No need to panic. This doesn’t interfere with the plan.

"So? You came here to request something from us, right? Right? Tell me I’m right!"

"Y-yes, um… th-that’s correct. I—I came to… m-make a request. My name is Shindo Komori… P-please go easy on me…"

For some reason, she tightened her fist like she was making some kind of secret hand signal…? What was that?

"A-actually… may I speak?"

"Hm? Oh! Of course! Go on! Lay it on me! We’ll take care of it with a big boom! Naturally, you’ll have to prepare appropriate payment!"

"Y-yes. That’s fine… I—I brought money…"

I took out a small card. I had created it specifically for this request.

"I prepared… about nine million… W-will that be enough?"

There was a loud clatter.

They all made very dramatic faces… Was it not enough? Are they angry? Like, “How dare you bring only that much if you want to hire us!”?

"A-are you saying… it’s not enough? If I work hard, maybe I can scrape together a little more…"

"N-no! It’s fine! That’s more than enough! We’ll accept your request for nine million!"

"R-really!? Th-thank you so much…!"

"So then, you… no, client? Customer? Master? What is it you desire?"

Here it comes. Their wording is a bit strange, but whatever.

"Th-the thing is…"

Just as planned. I already prepared the request—a request that would make sense even if they had already gathered information on me, Shindo Komori, and one that would naturally let me gauge their capabilities.

"P-please… prot—protect me from the bullies…!"

I said it—!! I did it! Nice going, me!

"…You’re being bullied?"

"……"

"Is… that true…?"

Uh—huh? The atmosphere suddenly got heavy? Did I mess up somewhere…?

"Your name was Arato Komori, right?"

"Ah, yes. Sensei."

"A third-year at Trinity General School…"

"Eh!? Ah!? H-how do you know that…?"

"I know everything about my students."

"E… eh…?"

This person is incredible. Meanwhile, I can’t remember a single classmate’s name from my first year, even though we were all in the same class and introduced ourselves. The only face I vaguely remember is that pink girl.

"You stopped coming to school right after the entrance ceremony… because you got caught up in the upperclassmen’s dispute, right?"

"Y-yes. That’s correct… Did you see it happen?"

"No, I heard it from a certain student. And they also said, ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.’"

"…I see…"

"…Sorry if this sounds intrusive, but is your request related to that incident?"

"……"

"…I see."

So it seems he hasn’t figured it out. But what exactly is this teacher trying to probe?

"For this request… if it’s alright with you, may I help as well?"

"Eh!?"

"S-Sensei… too?"

"Yeah. I am a teacher, after all. I can’t ignore a student who’s asking for help."

"……!"

"Sensei…"

…Okay, I get it. He really is a good person. I feel stupid for doubting him, and now I’m starting to feel a little guilty—me, the one who’s deceiving him.

"…Understood. Please… help me."

"Of course. Leave it to me."

It’s an unexpected development, but unavoidable.

By the way, the targets I’m about to mention in the request are the Helmet Gang, who have no relation to the upperclassmen who harassed me after the entrance ceremony. I’ve already sent the Helmet Gang a “request” (threat) informing them that Problem Solver 68 will be performing reconnaissance on them.

Ah, and those upperclassmen mentioned earlier have already been dealt with by me (the Cleaner). Well, I only beat them up. You hit me, I hit you back. The basic rule.

"So then, should we go crush that bullying group right now?"

"N-no. You don’t have to go that far…"

"…Really?"

"As a teacher, I can’t overlook bullying, though…"

"H-hello? If I just stay holed up at home, they can’t bully me anyway, and I can use that as my excuse to stay inside, and as you know, I’m getting perfect scores on all my tests remotely, so I’m fine, and… I don’t really want to go to school…"

"……Is that really okay…?"

"You’re tougher than you look…"

Well, if they were completely wiped out and interrogated, my connection to the Cleaner could be exposed. And it is true I’ve been using the bullying as an excuse to stay home… I’ll probably get scolded someday. Maybe I’ll show my face at school eventually. Someday.

"So what do you want us to do, then?"

"Ah, I’d like… protection. Please."

"Protection?"

"Y-yes. Next Saturday… from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., please…"

"Is something happening during that time?"

"S-shopping…"

"Shopping? For what?"

This guy pushes hard… But shopping… oh no, I didn’t prepare a reason… Think, think…

At that moment, lightning surged through Shindo’s mind.

"S-so! Um! M-Momo Friends’ Wave Cat b-body pillow is being released that day!"

Momo Friends’ Wave Cat body pillow really was releasing that day. What a miracle. It paid off that I happen to be a MomoFure fan, and that I happened to be staring intensely at their website to preorder the plushie. Incidentally, I’ve already preordered twelve, so there’s no real need to go in person, but you can never have too many.

"Momo Friends? Ah, that…"

"Y-you know it!? I-it’s cute, right!? Peroro is popular too, but…! I-I still prefer Wave Cat-chan’s, um, that stretchy… melty… vibe…!"

"O-okay, okay. Maybe I’ll buy one too."

"R-really!? S-Sensei, do you have a favorite char— ah, I-I-I’m sorry! I-I’m being annoying, aren’t I!?"

"I-it’s fine."

I know. I know. Otaku who gush about their favorite things are loud. I knew this. And yet… what a blunder.

…No, really? It’s not like I’m that big of a MomoFure fan. I was just slightly captivated by that little cat, that’s all. Yes. Let’s go with that. This is acting. If I show off my love— ahem—my “enthusiasm,” it won’t seem suspicious, right? I mean, really, someone like me—someone who lives in the underworld, who’s known as a legendary mercenary—there’s no way I’d like something so fluffy. That would be ridiculous. It’d destroy my image. No one could possibly be further removed from that kind of cute aesthetic than I am. Honestly. It’s truly a problem…

…Forget I said anything.

"…Alright! A lot happened, but we’ll take your request! Leave it to us, Problem Solver 68!"

And so, I successfully submitted my request to Problem Solver 68.