Chapter 5: Shopping

“…Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Y-y-yes, I-I’m f-fine… really…”

With the crowds thick around us and the sunlight beating down like it was trying to burn me to ash, I walked through the shopping district with Problem Solver 68—and, unexpectedly, Sensei—following behind me. Going out with other people for the first time in forever—well, that’s beside the point. Even as we stroll like this, the plan is already in motion.

If you pay attention, it’s obvious. The further we walk, the thinner the crowds become. Normally, this place should be packed with students enjoying their weekend shopping at this hour.

“Are you really okay? You’re shaking a lot.”

“N-n-no problem at all… please don’t mind me…”

Still—even with fewer people—this is already an overwhelming crowd for me!

Of course, it’s not like they’re clearing people out for my sake. The Helmet Gang is preparing the perfect place to ambush me. Heading toward an empty area on my own would look suspicious—but causing trouble in the middle of a crowd would be the worst possible choice.

And I have no intention of dragging innocent civilians into this. If they start anything here, the Valkyries will come flying the second they hear the commotion.

That wouldn’t let me properly test Problem Solver 68’s true capabilities.

Which is exactly why we needed all this behind-the-scenes setup.

“…Sensei, is this area usually this empty?”

“No, last time I came, it was packed.”

“…We’re being lured in.”

“Are you suuure you’re reading the map right~?”

“Haruka.”

“We can wipe them all out, right!?”

Well, yeah. Of course they’d notice.

By the time I realized it, there were no civilians anywhere nearby, and every shop around us had its shutters pulled down. Instead of crowds, what stood in our way were helmeted creeps with guns raised and ready.

“Oi, oi, oi! Komori! Livin’ the high life, goin’ on a carefree shoppin’ trip, huh!?”

“H-h-hii!?”

Wow, that’s actually pretty good acting. I should respond in kind—otherwise it’d be rude…

Wait. She’s sweating buckets. Well, obviously. For them, this is life-or-death. That parting line I gave—“If you fail, expect a harsh punishment, got it?”—must still be weighing on them. Not that I’d actually do anything if they lost; this is just a reconnaissance test.

“Komori, stay behind us.”

“Ohh? Whaaat? You hire some bodyguards now? Waste of money, y’know… Didn’t I tell ya before? As long as you pay us up nice and obedient, we’ll protect ya ourselves?”

“U-ugh…”

“…Pull yourself together!”

“Eek!?”

Eek!?

“Did you forget who’s protecting you right now!? Don’t get scared of some third-rate thugs—say something back! Firmly!”

“T-third-rate!?”

She smacked me on the back and yelled at me!? O-okay, if she says so…

“…Th-then… y-you… y-you…”

“You… you…”

“…you… ridiculously lame helmet-woman!!”

“…Hah?”

Aaaah!! My heart’s pounding like crazy!! Talking back to someone directly is this nerve-wracking!? But… it feels kind of good. Like something stuck in my chest for years finally burst free. Refreshing.

…Oh, right. I’ve beaten these kinds of people up through a screen before, but I’ve never yelled insults at them in person, with this actual body.

“Well said! Not bad at all, you!”

“You little—what part of this helmet is lame, huh!? Say it again!”

“U-wah! They’re coming!!”

“Okay! I’ll blow them all away~!”

“Yeah, that was really cool just now.”

“You did great. Leave the rest to us.”

“Y-yes…!”

Alright. It’s started. Time to see what they can do.

…This shaking isn’t fear. It’s excitement. Warrior’s shivers. And these watery eyes? Th-that’s just… well… it’s been so long since I’ve seen a real fight up close, so… I’m a little moved, that’s all.

“Y-you’ll pay for this!!”

Looking back on it, the result was an overwhelming victory. Their coordination was so precise it made me want to applaud on the spot, paired with the sheer capability Problem Solver 68 demonstrated. Truly impressive. If someone asked whether I could achieve such a flawless outcome, I’d immediately answer: impossible.

I can subdue an enemy force. But doing it with minimal ammo, minimal injuries, in total control, and in such a ridiculously short time? Absolutely not. Problem Solver 68 really is an exceptionally competent organization. Why is their logistics manager capable of such insane battlefield command!? No—because he’s Sensei? Wait, why can Sensei command a combat squad in the first place!?

The fact that my legs gave out is… a secret.

“Well! That wraps it up nicely!”

“Are you okay? Can you stand?”

“Haha… y-yes…”

One of Problem Solver 68’s members—Kayoko, the very same person who glared daggers at me that time—offered me her hand, and… well, it’s also a secret that my knees wouldn’t stop shaking.

“Th-thank you… very much…”

“Alright! Then let’s go shopping just like planned~!”

After that, we finished our shopping without incident, and the request ended safely. My personal ordeal also ended safely. I never want to go outside again.

Payment? Of course I paid. 900, plus another 100, and a Peroro plushie that President Aru seemed to like. I put down a total of ten million. A thank-you gift for giving me such a… rare experience (for me). Hm? How did I act when handing it over? Naturally, I looked completely unfazed. Even for my requests, hitting a thousand is unusual, but for Problem Solver 68, I guess that’s just pocket change.

“Hah… they really were incredible…”

And with this, I’m certain. They’re going to be trouble for me. A genuine threat.

Rumor of them driving off the Cleaners has probably already spread through the underworld. Meaning, from now on, there’s a very real chance we’ll clash again during jobs.

…Unavoidable, then.

If we fight, there will definitely be heavy damage. The current Cleaner—more precisely, Cleaner-Mark I—might even be destroyed.

…And, well… this part is more personal but… no. Stop. I’m a Cleaner. A mercenary who does anything if paid. I can’t allow personal feelings to bleed into my work.

“‘Let’s go shopping again sometime!’… huh.”

…It’s… complicated.

‘You seem deep in thought. What’s bothering you?’

Ah—right. My bad. Thinking about something else while in the middle of a conversation is rude.

【No, sorry. Just thinking.】

By the way, the Cleaner’s voice is just my own voice run through a modulator. I think it sounds pretty cool and gravelly, honestly.

‘Is this about Problem Solver 68?’

【…Well, yes.】

‘I’m surprised too. I never imagined you would lose.’

“【I didn’t lose. That was a strategic retreat.】”

‘…You can be childish sometimes, you know.’

“Guh…”

N-no. I only stated a fact. How others interpret it is up to them. But no matter what anyone says—that was a strategic retreat. Not a loss.

‘Well, anyway. Is this what you wanted?’

【Yes. That’s the one.】

‘A bomb capable of destroying a Halo… may I ask what you intend to do with it?’

【………】

‘Never mind. I suppose it’s not my place to ask. We’re merely business partners, after all.’

【A wise decision, I’d say.】

‘Then, did you bring the item we discussed?’

【Yes. Here.】

‘…I see. So this is it…’

【A complete accident. I don’t even know how it was made. If it doesn’t produce the effect you want, I take no responsibility.】

‘I understand. Still… a recreated mystery… something like this, born from coincidence? Or perhaps only coincidence could produce it…’

【…I’ll be taking this.】

‘Yes. Until we meet a-gain.’

“……”

…Personally, I never want to meet them again.

Anyway. I’ve acquired something that could reasonably be called a trump card… Let’s hope I never need to use it.