Chapter 7: Warm-Up

〜A certain MomoTalk chat log〜

■ Sensei
"Long time no see."
"Are you doing okay? How have you been lately?"

□ Komori
"I'm fine."
"As always, I'm in peak terrible condition lol."

■ Sensei
"If anything happens, tell me, okay?"
"Even if it's something small."

□ Komori
"Then…"
"Please buy me a strawberry ice cream."
"A fancy one, like around 200 yen."

■ Sensei
"Got it."

□ Komori
"I'm kidding lol."
"…I'm kidding, okay?"
"Hel-looo?"
"Sensei?"
"Seeenseeeiii?"

■ Sensei
"Sorry, I already bought it."
"Do you want it?"

□ Komori
"Sensei lol."
"Sorry about that lol."
"You can eat it yourself."
"Besides, you know…"
"You don’t even know where my house is lol."

■ Sensei
"True."
"Then is there anything else you want me to do?"

□ Komori
"I'm good."
"I didn’t spend two years shut-in for nothing lol."
"I'm a Shut-in Master Rank lolol."

■ Sensei
"…Are you sure?"
"Anything at all."
"Sensei is on your side."

□ Komori
"What is this lol."
"I told you before lol."
"I'm staying indoors because I like it lol."
"……"
"…Sensei."
"…Sensei. I'm fine."
"I know what you’re thinking."
"But really, I'm fine."
"So…"
"I'm giving you some advice."
"It’s better if you…"
"don’t get involved with me anymore."

◆

Now then— munch munch —last time— slurp —I managed to drive Sensei away by putting a bit of— sip, gulp —pressure on him, but— slurp slurp slurp…

…phew.

Sorry about that. I was just replenishing my energy a bit. Anyway, back to the topic: last time I managed to scare him off, but next time probably won’t go so smoothly.

Most likely, the next time he shows up, he’ll bring enough firepower to suppress me completely without letting a single person get hurt.

Right. That wasn’t some accidental encounter. It was obvious he had already tracked my movements and approached me deliberately. The proof was the Abydos students who appeared at a time when, on a weekday, they should’ve been busy studying.

In other words, my information is steadily being exposed. Even back then, they secretly planted a transmitter in my clothes. That freaked me out. Luckily, I noticed before getting home.

"Slurp… Ugh… an energy drink after ramen… yeah… not great…"

They must have someone highly skilled in information warfare. Probably someone from Millennium. Maybe all of them. After all, it’s Sensei. Making him an enemy is basically making nearly all the students my enemy. Seriously, unbelievable. Can I even win at this? Isn’t this a rigged game?

Which means I need to make the first move as soon as possible.

Strike first; take down troublesome enemies immediately. That’s the rule.

And I think I still have the advantage in the information war. I’ve put a lot of effort into manipulating information. In just a few days, all they could’ve learned is my appearance and the types of weapons I’ve used so far. They shouldn’t know my actual tactics yet.

Meanwhile, I’ve seen their fighting style firsthand, plus Sensei’s command ability. And I have original-story knowledge, which is mostly useless—but hey, better than nothing. The informational advantage is on my side.

Which is why I’ve already tried a few times to get rid of them. (Post-reporting.)

Attempt #1:
A long-distance sniper attack. And this time, using a higher-caliber, ultra-expensive rifle to make sure I landed the shot.

『Why is there a banana peel here!?』

Well, I wasn’t expecting that method to work anyway, but they dodged it beautifully.

Seriously, what’s with the banana peel!? That’s such a cliché! If you’re going to act, you’d have more credibility just dodging normally. Are they mocking me? Huh?

Attempt #2:
I sent out requests—through a remote-controlled account separate from the Cleanup Crew—designed to force them to act alone so I could take them down one by one. Honestly, I thought this had the highest chance of success, but…

『…We should probably drop this request.』
『Yeah.』
【W-why is that?】
『You're connected to the Cleanup Crew, right?』

【!?!!】

Why— HOW did they figure it out!? I operated that account on a completely separate line from the Cleanup Crew! I even made it recently just for that operation!

Why!? Sensei and Kayoko-san, your intuition is way too sharp, cut it out!!! And Mutsuki-san, stop grinning behind them, you’re scary! Haruka! What are you doing, Haruka!? Don’t just point a gun at people so casually! And don’t fire it!! My Corporate Slave No.1 (temporary name) got completely blown apart thanks to you! And President Aruooooooooo… didn’t actually do anything in particular.

But that almost makes it worse. Doing nothing shows how much trust she has in her subordinates—
And it also shows the overwhelming difference in ability… so immense she doesn’t even need to lift a finger herself.

And then, Attempt #3.

【Kuhahahahaha!! I am the Scattering Specialist! If I take down you brats who crushed the Cleanup Crew, I’ll become the number one mercenary in the underworld!! Get ’em, boys!!】

『He’s… not doing it himself…?』
『Well, whatever. We’ll work enough to earn our pay…』

Of course, the machine I used this time wasn’t the Cleanup Crew unit. I reused a different one—something I abandoned halfway through while working on Unit No.2—and completed it for this operation. Its name: “Scattering Specialist.”
It doesn’t have the mobility or versatility of the Cleanup Crew unit, but all those drawbacks were compensated for by dumping everything into raw power.

Since it was built from scratch, the remote-control system ended up bulky, but its performance and handling were guaranteed. One punch from it could topple a building or flip the ground over. If I took a hit from it, I’d definitely be turned into minced meat.

『Wow, we’re sooo defeated.』
『If you paid us more… we might’ve tried harder…』
【Wh-what!? My entire army taken down so easily!?】
『“Your army”… you just hired them with cash…』
【Then I’ll crush you myself!!】
『Everyone, be careful. The boss is coming.』

It was supposed to be a machine worthy of succeeding the Cleanup Crew unit.
Supposed to be.

【This… can’t be…】

In the end, it was a total defeat. The unit was seized by the Valkyrie squad that rushed in, and lost.

Like seriously… I had twenty of the top mercenaries I know of, fully armed, AND I was operating the machine at full power on an energy-drink-fueled high!
So why couldn’t I win!? That’s not normal!! It’s cheating! Absolute cheating!! Waaaahhh!!!

Sure, the Valkyries joined in midway, but STILL. How do you win after that!? They’re definitely doing something shady. No normal person can make movements like they’ve calculated the entire battlefield.
Cheater Sensei!! Stop getting involved with me!! I’m serious!! This is a problem between students!!

"My money… and my time… give them back…!"

I even cut back the money I planned to spend on gacha games!!

…haaah.

"…I probably don’t have much time left either…"

In maybe three more days, my informational advantage will be gone.
It might already be gone for all I know.

"…If that’s the case, then there’s no turning back…"

That means the next move has to settle everything.

"…I’m lucky the preparations are done… but depending on this operation, you might end up breaking… and if that happens, I’ll be alone again…"

I run my hand across its matte-finished metallic body. Come to think of it, you were the first thing in this world to give me hope.
You’re the one who caught me when I was shot, punched, kicked, and bruised all over.

Huh? You’re saying I just tripped after hooking my own foot? Haha, shut up already.

…Yeah. If you lose or break, I’ll probably die not long after.
I won’t say something cheesy like “I’ll follow after you.”
You’re a tool, and I’ll keep struggling to survive.

But… is it really so strange to grow attached to a tool?
Even setting aside benefits or survival, I genuinely want you to come back safely.

I don’t know what you originally were. Maybe just a regular citizen. Maybe an automated combat unit from some organization. Maybe even a mercenary like now.

But it doesn’t matter.
You are me, and I am you.

"…I’m counting on you… partner…"

『……』

The pile of metal says nothing. What an airheaded guy.

◆

That day, a single letter arrived at Problem Solver 68.