Chapter 95: ◆This is the second “place that belongs to you.”

Probability converges.

Put simply, it means that as the number of trials increases, results tend to move closer to the expected value.

For example… let’s see.

The ratio of good luck to bad luck in a person’s life.

Over a long span of time—say, just under a hundred years—those things tend to even out in the end. That might be the easiest way to picture it.

In short, it’s the idea that “If something bad happens, then surely something equally good will come along too.”

In reality, my life up through elementary school was pretty rough. But once I entered middle school, it was like all of that got paid back at once in a rush of good fortune.

I became roommates with Meek-senpai, met Ayumu-san, ended up in the same generation as Nature and Teio, and met Bourbon-chan and Rice-chan too……

I learned warmth. I learned how to enjoy running.

I learned what it meant to live.

…Everyone’s warmth saved me.

I think that was a truly happy thing.

Just like in my previous life, there are plenty of people who go through life without ever feeling that burning passion for something—without ever living at full throttle—just drifting through life and dying the same way.

I escaped from that. I found something I could pour myself into, something I could enjoy to the fullest.

That has to be happiness.

Sure, what I went through as a child was genuinely brutal. I’ve accepted it now, but I wouldn’t joke about wanting to experience it again.

Still, if I think about it as the path that led me to this life…

Then even that painful, sorrowful past feels like it had meaning.

So I’m grateful.

To my mother and father, who gave birth to me and raised me.

To the past that shaped me, no matter how harsh it was.

And… to this warm, happy present.

…Oops. I kind of went off on a tangent.

Right—back to probability converging.

As the number of trials increases, the amount of good luck and bad luck tends to balance out.

Which means… if we assume that the total amount of good and bad luck evens out overall, then every time something good happens, the likelihood of something bad happening next also increases.

Thinking “If something good happens today, something bad might happen tomorrow” might be a little too pessimistic…

But, you know—if there’s a day where something unbelievably good happens, then it stands to reason there’ll also be days where unbelievably bad things pile up.

In other words… today was probably one of those bad-luck days.

---

I think today was, above all else, a day completely devoid of luck.

Ayumu-san had apparently gone to URA headquarters in the morning and was absent, so all confirmations regarding the training schedule were handled by Masa-san instead.

…No, it’s not that I dislike Masa-san. If anything, I’d say I like her seriousness. But still—not being able to see the person you like does make you feel a little lonely, right?

On top of that, the trainer’s room—one of the spaces where I can relax the most, right alongside my private dorm room—was apparently undergoing renovations.

Because of that, it was off-limits for the entire day.

In the two years since I met Ayumu-san, I don’t remember any renovations happening, but… well, timing like that does happen.

If anything, we should be grateful to the contractors for doing renovations so we can live and work properly.

Still… not being able to use a room you always rely on is disappointing. Not having a place where you can really settle down is mentally exhausting.

Honestly, even with that double hit, I was already thinking, “Wow, I’ve got terrible luck today…”

And then, as if to pile on, today happened to be one of Bourbon-chan’s days off from training.

I do like running alone, of course—but I like running with someone even more.

So I’d been looking forward to running with Bourbon-chan today… but unfortunately, that didn’t seem like it was going to happen.

And on top of that, there was still more bad luck.

Just before noon, I got a message from Rice-chan saying, “I’m really sorry, I can’t make it to night self-training today…! I’m so sorry!”

…We’d been training together almost every day, so for even Rice-chan to be unavailable…

No, I get it. I do. It can’t be helped. I know it can’t—but still!

At that point, I considered asking Nature or Souri-chan, but…

Today wasn’t a joint training day, and they’ve both been ramping up their training lately in preparation for this year’s races.

Dragging them into my own selfishness didn’t feel right.

Calling someone over just because you’re lonely—that’s the kind of thing even couples would find annoying.

That day went like that…

I couldn’t see Ayumu-san, I couldn’t enter the trainer’s room, and I couldn’t run with Bourbon-chan or the others—just one disappointing thing after another.

Because I’d been having such happy days lately, it made it all feel a bit sadder.

After finishing training, I returned to my dorm room with slumped shoulders.

“…Haa.”

Of course, I did properly complete the new start practice I’d begun recently, but…

When bad things keep stacking up like this, it’s hard to get into the right headspace. It felt like the enjoyment was cut down by about twenty percent.

Normally, on days like this, Masa-san would quickly bring me a little pick-me-up.

True to her reputation as a sub-trainer from the Horino family, she keeps a close eye on the condition of the Uma Musume she’s responsible for.

She doesn’t notice things quite as instantly as Ayumu-san does, but when someone’s clearly feeling down or troubled, she’ll casually check in—or bring them something sweet.

But today, she seemed busy too. Our contact was minimal, so I probably couldn’t expect that.

Earlier, all I got was a simple message:

“Good work on training today. You can head straight home—please make sure to rest your body properly.”

…Ah. I’m a little lonely.

I didn’t see Ayumu-san, Masa-san, or Bourbon-chan at all today.

It’s just one day. It’s not like I’ll never see them again.

Tomorrow, I’ll probably see them again as if nothing happened.

There’s nothing to worry about. My everyday life won’t suddenly crumble away… well, I can’t say that never happens, but it’s rare.

And yet, and yet…

I feel this lonely…

I’ve gotten weak in this regard.

I used to be fine without talking to anyone. I didn’t even feel anything.

…No, maybe I was just running away into running itself, refusing to feel those things.

I guess it’s that saying about how a beast that’s learned the warmth of fire can’t return to the wild.

By leaving behind my lonely circumstances, my tolerance dropped. Or maybe, after learning the warmth of friends and someone I care about, my desire for that warmth grew stronger.

As a result, I’ve become this vulnerable to the cold.

…Or something like that.

Even if I kill time thinking about things like this, once my mood drops, it doesn’t bounce back easily.

“Ugh… I’ll just take a bath first. Wash away the bad feelings along with the sweat…”

I stretched wide, trying to toss all those annoying thoughts aside.

At that moment, the smartphone in my pocket vibrated.

“Hm…?”

I glanced at the screen without thinking much of it.

A LANE notification.

The sender was—

“Ayumu-san!”

I re-gripped the phone I was holding in one hand with both hands, squeezing so hard I nearly cracked it.

Careful, careful—if I go that far, I’m not an Uma Musume anymore, I’m a gorilla.

I took a deep breath to calm down, unlocked the phone again, and read the message.

“Good work today, Wilm. I’m sorry I couldn’t watch your training.”

“Apologies for the sudden message, but could you make some time after this?”

“An urgent matter came up that requires your confirmation. Please come to the trainer’s room.”

“It should take about two hours.”

“…So it’s about work, huh.”

Yeah… I figured.

As things stand, my relationship with Ayumu-san is… well, let’s say quite close—just a very close contract trainer and his assigned Uma Musume.

Since around last year’s Kikuka-sho, we’ve started exchanging some personal messages here and there, but even now, about seventy percent of our LANE chats are still work-related reports and coordination.

I won’t deny I got my hopes up just a little, but—well, it can’t be helped.

Still, it really does feel like today’s a bad-luck day right down to moments like this.

That said, being able to see Ayumu-san at all still makes me happy.

If it’s urgent, I should head over right away.

…At this moment, to be honest, I think my guard toward those close to me had dropped to zero.

I should have been a little more suspicious.

The fact that I hadn’t been allowed into the trainer’s room all morning.

And yet, being told out of the blue to come to the trainer’s room now.

Not being able to see Ayumu-san, and not receiving a single LANE message from him.

Not being able to train with Bourbon-chan or Rice-chan.

And above all else… today itself.

If I’d put all of that together, I might have been able to see through their scheme.

…But spilled water won’t return to the tray.

In the end, right up until that moment, I never realized I was being deceived.

And so……

“Ayumu-saaaan, I’m here……”

Saying that, I slid open the trainer’s room door—

“““Happy birthday!!!”””

…And was promptly assaulted by a flood of congratulations and flying paper streamers.

---

February 22nd.

That was the day “I”—the Uma Musume known as Hoshino Wilm—was born into this world.

What people generally call a birthday.

Normally, I guess birthdays are something you’re supposed to be happy about, but……

To be honest, I’d never felt particularly attached to the idea of birthdays.

Why? Well… my past experiences probably had something to do with it.

I hadn’t really been celebrated much on my birthday.

In my previous life, I think I’d been told “happy birthday” in words a few times, but as far as I can remember, I never received presents or had a party thrown for me.

In this life…… well, there’s no need to go into detail. When I was very young, I was celebrated sometimes—but that didn’t last long.

Because of that, for most of my two lives, my birthday was no different from any other ordinary day.

Experience shapes a person—an Uma Musume, too, I suppose.

Because I lacked those kinds of special experiences, I never thought of my own birthday as something special.

Ah, but other people’s birthdays are different, okay?

The day someone was born. The day the wheel of fate started turning toward the moment we’d meet.

That’s something I can celebrate. Just like Valentine’s Day—it’s that kind of day to me.

But when it comes to being celebrated myself……

It feels unreal, somehow.

Basically, I never once imagined being celebrated by this many people—by this many Uma Musume.

So……

I couldn’t react properly to them.

“…Huh? Hey—Wilm?”

“Brother, um… maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Wouldn’t it have been better to just celebrate normally instead of doing a surprise…?”

“With respect, I estimate that the argument ‘simply celebrating would lack impact’ holds a reasonable degree of validity.”

“B-but big sister froze up, didn’t she?”

“She did say she’s bad with horror stuff. What if her heart stopped?”

“Cardiac arrest!? W-what do we do, Horino-kun?!”

“No, from what I can tell, she’s just extremely surprised.”

“Also, isn’t it kinda impossible for Wilm’s heart to stop from something like this? She doesn’t even flinch at G1 races. She’s got a heart so tough it’s basically covered in fur, right?”

“N-no, ‘covered in fur’ might be a bit much, Teio-senpai…… um, also, isn’t it weird that I’m even here…?”

Standing in front of me were Ayumu-san, Masa-san, Bourbon-chan, Rice-chan, Nature and her trainer, Teio and her trainer, and Souri-chan.

Each of them held a spent party popper in their hands. Watching me stand there tangled in paper streamers, they whispered among themselves in confusion.

And toward them, I……

Couldn’t react at all.

I just stood there, dazed and frozen in place.

I didn’t know how I was supposed to react.

Being celebrated by so many people—by so many Uma Musume……

What was I supposed to show them? What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to act?

Up until now, I’d lived my life wearing masks.

Showing my emotions put me at a disadvantage, so I erased my expressions and hid my feelings.

Or, if I wanted someone to like me, I’d put on the face they wanted to see.

That became my way of living.

Hoshino Wilm’s default stance toward others.

But in the end, it was nothing more than a mask—which meant I was extremely weak when faced with situations like this.

The reason I’d always managed to patch things up on the fly was probably just because I was quick on my feet.

Once that limit was exceeded……

My raw, ugly self slipped out far too easily.

The celebration was too sudden.

Too unfamiliar.

Too warm.

Faced with everyone’s heartfelt congratulations, I couldn’t keep my mask on anymore.

I didn’t know how to react, or what to say……

“Uh, um……”

I even let out a pathetic little sound like that.

“Wilm?”

“Ah—Ayumu-san…… um…”

Perhaps because my reaction was so delayed, Ayumu-san stepped closer to me.

Without thinking, I nearly backed away—toward the cold, dim hallway behind me.

I didn’t want him to see.

No—more than that, I didn’t want the people behind him to see.

I couldn’t hide everything from Ayumu-san anymore. We’d spent too much time together for that.

Even so… I didn’t want the others to see this version of me.

This careless, useless me.

Don’t look at me when I can’t even put myself together.

Don’t look at the unpolished, ugly me.

Because if I did—

Because when I showed that side of myself……

My mother hated me.

…The reason my mother came to hate me was because I showed off my abilities.

For the first few years after being reborn into this world, to be honest, I was getting carried away.

I’d reincarnated into the world of a story I loved—on top of that, as an Uma Musume. I was completely swept up in it.

And on top of that, my body clearly possessed an extraordinary amount of talent—probably what you’d call reincarnation cheat-level ability.

I found myself thinking things like, “Maybe I can run alongside Spe-chan or Teio-chan someday!” and… I showed off that ability.

I was probably lacking self-control after being reduced to a baby again.

I was probably drunk on the unreal miracle that was reincarnation itself.

But as a result of all that, I ended up… hurting my mother.

That part—this fact itself—is something I’ve already come to terms with.

I admit that I was in the wrong, and someday soon, I want to apologize properly to my parents.

I’ve accepted it. I’ve swallowed that truth.

But… no—because of that.

I don’t want to make the same mistake again.

I can’t show too much of my raw self.

I have to wear the right expression for the situation. I have to be the version of myself that fits where I am.

That’s probably a rule carved deep into me on a subconscious level.

A fundamental principle for maintaining smooth communication with others.

So… that’s why I was scared.

Not just of Ayumu-san, the person closest to me—but of being seen like this by so many people.

In response to my fear, Ayumu-san……

Gently placed a hand on my head.

“Come on, Wilm. It’s cold out here. Let’s go inside.”

“But……”

“But?”

“No, um… I mean, I’m not making a cute face at all right now, or anything…”

I just wanted a little more time to process the situation I wasn’t used to.

That was all I meant—but……

Ayumu-san chuckled softly, amused.

“Oh, is that all? Don’t worry about it. Everyone already knows.”

“Huh? Knows…?”

“You make a pretty questionable face when you laugh without acting, you know. There’s no point in trying to cover it up now.”

……?

When I laugh without acting… questionable?

Um, Ayumu-san—what exactly do you mean by questionable?

“No, seriously. Lately you haven’t been hiding your expressions nearly as well as you think. Whenever I pat your head, you always go ‘niiiin~’ like that.”

“I think everyone here already knows. Actually, it’s starting to spread a bit among the fans too.”

They know?

The real me?

My expressions… wait, that much?

A strange sensation washed over me—like blood rushing to my head, or draining away all at once.

Ah… what kind of face am I making right now?

“K-known…!?”

The ugly me. The useless me. The version of me that isn’t lovable.

Realizing that I’d been unconsciously exposing that side of myself filled me with fear—and shame.

I almost stepped back reflexively……

“I like that side of you. …Come on, let’s go. The food we prepared will get cold.”

“H-huh—wait—did you just say you like it!?”

Ayumu-san moved behind me and gave my back a gentle push.

H-hold on! Just now—did you really say “like”!?

Me!? My face!? My unfiltered expressions!?

You like… the unpolished, unguarded me!?!

"W-wait, wait! You can’t just say that and not explain—!"

"Later, later. For now, you’re the guest of honor. Go greet everyone."

"No, that’s not the point—Ayumu-san!?"

And so, in a rather muddled state…

I ended up joining the birthday party being held in celebration of my birth.

---

That party was absolute chaos.

To begin with, there were simply too many people for the space.

Including me, there were ten people crammed into a single trainer’s room. Even a trainer’s room starts to feel cramped at that point.

On top of that, there was tons of food and cake, and everyone was talking and eating at the same time.

In such a small space, with so many people—and so many Uma Musume—chatting, drinking, and eating, the energy was bound to rise.

It went beyond warm; it was straight-up hot.

As for me, the guest of honor who’d been hit with the surprise…

I spent the time in a sort of dazed, fluffy state, chatting with everyone.

"Oh, hey, Wilm—you did some fashion modeling work a while back, right? That was kinda unexpected."

"Huh? Nature, you saw that? It was a request from someone I have connections with, so it was hard to turn down…"

"I didn’t just see it—I’m subscribed to that magazine."

"Rice saw it too! Big sister, the girly style suits you so well! All those frills were super cute…"

"Ugh, even Rice-chan… Personally, I want to look good in something a bit more mature, you know…" I glanced aside.

"? Gaze detected. What is it, Wilm-senpai?"

"Ah… having Bourbon around must be rough on your self-esteem."

"It really is… though I don’t think it’s something Teio-senpai should be saying."

"What do you mean!? I’m way taller than you, aren’t I!?"

"I wouldn’t say five centimeters counts as ‘way taller.’"

"Five centimeters is huge!"

"I-I think senpai being cute is a good thing too…!"

"Souri-chan, being ten centimeters taller than me… sometimes kindness wounds an Uma Musume, you know?"

It wasn’t exactly what you’d call a refined party—but it was noisy, lively, and unmistakably age-appropriate.

And it was fun. Warm.

It made me happy.

After we’d eaten and talked for a while, the trainer took the lead, and everyone presented me with their birthday gifts.

From Bourbon-chan, I received a set of portable nutritional foods.

Apparently, in her household, eating properly and running properly are considered equally important, so these quick nutrition options are something she relies on often.

For me, there are plenty of times when I feel like running instead of eating, so this was honestly a huge help.

…Though I’m not sure that’s the intended use.

From Masa-san, I received a lipstick that looked absurdly expensive.

Honestly, it’s the same with the snacks she brings all the time—she casually hands out luxury items like it’s nothing. It really drives home the feeling of, “Yeah… she’s from a prestigious family,” and I can’t help but feel a little intimidated.

And then, as if that weren’t enough, she leaned in and whispered into my ear, "It gives your lips a lovely sheen, and it’s highly recommended for appealing to a man you’re interested in."

…Could it be that Masa-san has noticed I’m in love with someone? There’s no way she’s figured out that it’s Ayumu-san specifically—or at least, I hope not. Still, she’s frighteningly perceptive, and that makes me nervous…

From Nature’s trainer, I received several towels—things that wear out easily.

From Nature herself, I got an adorably styled reed diffuser.

From Rice-chan, I was given a whole collection of training shoes fitted with horseshoes.

I was genuinely happy about all of them, but somehow, the combination of gifts made it easy to tell exactly what kind of person each giver was.

For the record, I was secretly the most grateful for the shoes. I absolutely destroy them during self-training, and since it’s unofficial practice, it’s hard to ask my trainer for replacements…

From Teio’s trainer, I received a neat gray handkerchief.

From Teio herself… tickets to a dance live she’s apparently planning to hold soon.

And then, from Souri-chan, who said, "I’m sorry it’s nothing special…" I received a surprisingly large assortment of sweets.

The gift from Teio’s trainer was pleasantly safe, and Souri-chan’s was a little childish but added warmth to everyday life, which I appreciated. But Teio’s gift… how was I supposed to react to that?

Her dancing is professional-level, and it’s genuinely fun to watch, so I am happy about it. Still, I kind of wish she’d share even a fraction of that confidence with me.

So many presents from so many friends—more than I could possibly carry.

Every single one of them was packed full of their feelings, almost to an overwhelming degree.

And the fact that I was the one receiving all of that… it didn’t quite feel real.

That’s why I…

"…Thank you, everyone."

I couldn’t even manage a proper smile, wearing an awkward, indescribable expression as I said it quietly.

And yet—

Even seeing me like that, everyone smiled back, looking genuinely happy.

That made me feel so warm—so deeply glad—from the bottom of my heart.

…Yes.

I was truly, deeply happy.

---

And then, finally, the present I received from Ayumu-san was…

A single, plain, slightly oversized envelope.

When I gently shook it after he handed it to me with a simple "Happy birthday," I heard a faint rustling sound—and just a hint of metal clinking.

"This is…?"

"Open it."

I did as he said and broke the seal.

Inside the envelope were several keys, along with a large number of documents, neatly divided into multiple smaller envelopes.

…Huh? These are… real estate registration papers?

"Um, Ayumu-san, this is…"

"A house."

"…Pardon?"

"The deed to the land and house. And those are the keys."

…?

What… what? A deed? Keys?

"I built it a little ways from here, but I’m giving it to you. Use it however you like."

"E–Eh…?"

A house… a house?

You built one?

Wait—built as in actually constructed?

Not ‘set up’ or ‘arranged’—built?

For a few moments, I couldn’t even process what Ayumu-san was saying.

But the instant reality sank in, blood rushed to my head—not because I was angry or happy, but because I was absolutely terrified.

"N–No way, I can’t accept something like this!?"

Even if it’s my birthday, this is too much! A house?! How much money did this even cost—no, I know gifts are about the thought, not the price, but this is on a completely different scale!!

Panicking, I hastily stuffed everything back into the envelope and tried to return it to him, but no matter what I did, he wouldn’t take it.

He looked straight at me with a serious expression.

"You don’t own a house right now, do you?"

"Eh… w–well, it’s true I don’t own one, but…"

The house where Hoshino Wilm grew up was sold—land and all—when I entered Tracen Academy.

Part of it was to repay some of the money borrowed from relatives… but looking back now, I think that house simply held too many painful memories. At the time, I genuinely believed selling it was the right decision.

So, as things stand, I don’t have anything I can truly call ‘my own home.’

If I really had to name one, it would be the Ritto Dorm at Tracen—but that’s still just a dormitory. It doesn’t feel like a home.

But why bring this up now…?

As I stood there, confused, Ayumu-san quietly asked me—

"So then—after you graduate from this academy, what are you planning to do? Where will you live?"

"Well… I guess I’d rent an apartment somewhere."

Whenever I try to talk about the future, my words turn vague.

Because honestly, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

Right now, running together with everyone is just so much fun that I never really considered what comes after…

…Ah. I really have been reborn as a child, haven’t I?

Back in my previous life, when I was a university student, I thought more seriously about the future.

Which seminar to join, which classes to take—maybe even which company I’d work for.

I made loose plans and thought things through, at least to some degree…

But in this life, I hadn’t thought about any of that at all.

…Or maybe the present is simply too happy—happy enough to make me lose myself in it.

As those thoughts clogged my mind and my words trailed off, I felt his hand rest gently on my shoulder.

"If you haven’t decided, then you can use this house.

…This is just my personal opinion, but not having a place to return to is a rather lonely thing.

I want you to have a home you can come back to when it really matters—a place of your own.

So please, take it. This is the very least I can do, both as thanks… and as a celebration of you being born."

My own house. My own place.

…Something I lost long ago—something I thought I’d never be able to have again.

I… I can’t take this…

"…No. I still can’t accept it."

Pushing away the temptation, I pressed the envelope back against his chest.

After my repeated refusals, Ayumu-san finally accepted it back.

"I’m really happy about how you feel. I truly am… but that’s exactly why I can’t accept it.

I’ve already received far more than you think. If anything, I should be the one repaying you—so I can’t take something this big."

"But, Wilm—"

…No. That’s not it. That’s not the expression I wanted to see.

I just… wanted to be a little more selfish.

"So…"

…Ah, my chest hurts. My heart is pounding from the tension.

Am I about to say something outrageous right now?

Am I drunk on all the happiness everyone has given me, asking for too much?

Even thinking that, my mouth had already started moving—and wouldn’t stop.

Still swept up in that feverish state, I said it.

"So… please let me live at your house."

I said it.

I really said it.

"…What?"

"At your place… under your roof, I mean… well, not like freeloading, and I don’t want to be a parasite or anything. I’ll pay rent properly, of course—it’s just…"

In the end, I couldn’t even finish. My words fizzled out and disappeared.

How pathetic. It’s not even a confession—though honestly, it might as well be—and I couldn’t even say it properly.

As I shrank in on myself, my face burning red…

Ayumu-san fell silent for a moment, clearly stunned. Then, gently, he smiled.

"Alright. I’ll hold onto this for now.

If you still feel the same way when you graduate from the upper division… then we’ll talk about it again."

Those words were, to me—

More than enough to make up for every bit of bad luck I’d had that day.

They were the best present I could have received.