Chapter 30: It's haunting me, it's haunting me...

My “coldness” was following me… following me…

Then, my “coldness” vanished from inside me.

The first time I noticed was when I was told to run alongside Nature.

Even when I started with the other Uma Musume, that “coldness” didn’t swarm me. Even when I focused on my opponent, I could match their pace. I could run the whole way without going all out—just like a normal training run.

For me, that change felt like a miracle.

Up until then, whenever I ran, I felt two things: irritation, and that “coldness.” Irritation that my body wouldn’t move the way I wanted, even though I wanted to run faster. And the mysterious—now that I think about it, the way my excessive craving for victory made me tense—that was the “coldness.” Those two sensations bound me completely, chains locked tight around me.

But in the final moment of the Derby, I broke free of both.

The forward-lean sprint—keeping my posture low to reduce air resistance and widening my stride to launch my speed upward. And the heat that flared during my fight with Teio—something like what I’d always sensed in them. Something that drove me straight toward victory.

Those two forces shattered the chains holding me down.

Nothing binds me anymore. …I’m free. Yes, I became free.

"Hah, hah, hah…"

Of course, when I run normally like this, I feel the wind resisting me. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. If anything, I feel a quiet sense of superiority. I know that I can throw off that restraint anytime I want.

I’m no longer chained down by the wind. I can run freely. That realization lightened my heart more than I expected.

…Well, that running style is banned, though.

My trainer—who’s far more cautious than he looks—sealed away my forward-lean sprint.

Even I understand why. That technique puts far too much strain on the body. The damage to the ankles and knees is no joke. As a fundamental rule, I’m not allowed to use it. Doing so would shorten Hoshino Wilm’s competitive lifespan as an Uma Musume.

Especially in the Takarazuka Kinen—absolutely do not use it. If you do, you won’t get a reward. You’ll get punished.

He told me that with a completely serious face. No joking at all.

And when I asked what the punishment was, he said: three months of no self-training and no mock races. Three months.

Is he trying to kill me?

Sure, the forward-lean sprint definitely eats away at my legs. Even I know that, so from his perspective it must be terrifying.

I get why he’d tell me to stop.

Still… does he really have to tie me down that hard? I don’t think the Takarazuka Kinen is something you can win without going all-out. I don’t want to get punished—but that doesn’t mean I want to accept losing without giving everything I have.

What am I supposed to do? It’s kind of a dilemma.

Anyway—back to the point. I can swat away that wind now.

Just knowing that once changed everything. My image of running has grown so much brighter.

On the other hand… did I really conquer the “coldness”?

Like my trainer said, during that mock race with Nature, I managed to endure it. My trainer was right there. I knew that even if I lost, Trainer Horino would comfort me. That thought let me endure that spine-freezing “coldness.”

But near the end of the Japanese Derby, I think I overcame it differently.

Instead of relying on my trainer’s presence, my “I don’t want to lose,” my “I want to win”—that burning heat melted my “coldness,” scorching me from the inside.

Honestly, I still don’t really understand it. I don’t even know what that heat was. I feel like I’ve sensed it long ago, but… was that what my trainer sometimes calls “an Uma Musume’s instinct to fight”?

Did I only start feeling that after Teio passed me?

…Hm? That doesn’t feel quite right.

I definitely lost in my very first mock race—I couldn’t catch the girl in front and finished second. Thinking back, I was terrible at accelerating, yet I tried to run from behind. God, I was so stupid back then. But even then—I didn’t feel any instinct to fight. When I sensed I was going to lose, I just got colder and colder.

And after that, like in my one-on-one mock race with Nature, I panicked because I thought I’d lose. If awareness of defeat is supposed to stir fighting instinct, then it should’ve happened several times already.

So what’s different now…?

Maybe it’s the fact that I endured the “coldness” once. The truth is, I was reassured because my trainer was there. Maybe that sense of safety let my fighting instinct finally explode.

…No, this is getting complicated.

Why did that heat surpass the “coldness”? There isn’t enough information to draw a conclusion. Uma Musume hearts are complicated and bizarre. Trying to define them might be pointless.

Anyway, the conclusion:

I can handle the “cold” state now—at least somewhat.

I can enter that “cold” state to sharpen my focus. Or I can choose not to, and instead run while reading my opponent. I can do both freely now.

"Hah, hah, hah… whew—about… one more hour, I guess."

Irritation, and “coldness.”

After overcoming both—

I’ve come to like running, just a little.

Until now, self-training was only a means to win. …Well, honestly, it’s more like a habit. I get restless if I don’t do it, so maybe I’ve always liked it. I like training myself—basically, I like tormenting my body.

But did I ever like running itself?

Not really.

Running was just a tool. Winning races was the real goal. I liked that goal—more accurately, I liked being praised after winning.

But now, it’s a little different.

My feet kick the ground behind me. I slice through that soft wall of wind brushing against my whole body. My body surges forward.

Gradually, fatigue builds. It clings to my legs like mud, trying to stop me. Even so, I spit out every hint of weakness and keep my legs churning.

Fun.

Running like this is actually… a little fun.

The cool wind brushing across my body, the sweat seeping from my skin, the fatigue slowly building up—every bit of it feels pleasant and satisfying.

Why didn’t I notice this before?

That running is fun.

…Well, you know. What can I say.

I found out it’s fun, got a little high off it, and on top of that, I have a clear reason to be doing it. So going off and doing unauthorized self-training just kind of… happens, right?

"Hah, hah, hah… okay, break time."

I stop in the darkness of night.

I’m outside the Tracen Academy grounds, on a public road with lanes built specifically for Uma Musume.

It’s ten at night. Obviously, Fuji-senpai—the dorm leader of Ritto Dorm—didn’t give me permission to go out, and I haven’t gotten any special approval from my trainer either.

That’s right. Right now, I’m sneaking out for self-training for the Takarazuka Kinen. My first unauthorized session in a while.

Unauthorized self-training without permission from the trainer or the dorm leader. And on top of that, at night, on a public road. From that alone, I probably sound like a pretty wild delinquent.

But actually, that’s not the case at all.

I’m a perfectly decent Uma Musume.

If I had to name anything “delinquent” about me… I guess I’m not great at studying, and I don’t always listen to what my trainer says.

At Tracen Academy, sneaking out at night for unauthorized self-training isn’t that rare. There are always a few running junkies and training junkies—girls who just can’t help themselves and slip out of the dorm to run.

Honestly, you can’t really blame them.

Uma Musume all want to get stronger and faster. Voluntarily throwing yourself into training is the most logical thing in the world.

…Yeah. It’s not weird. I’m not weird at all.

In fact, Fuji Kiseki-senpai, the Ritto Dorm leader, once found me sneaking back in right before midnight. She just sighed with a crooked smile and said,

"Hah… honestly, you’re such a helpless little pony."

So basically, she let it slide. I got about fifteen minutes of routine scolding, but at the same time, I practically earned unofficial permission to slip out late.

…Come to think of it, what does “pony” even mean? Sure, I’m petite, but pony-level? Really?

Anyway—nighttime breakouts for self-training might earn you a light scolding, but they’re mostly tolerated. Even my trainer only bans it outright when he absolutely doesn’t want me doing it.

Which means that since he didn’t ban it today, I’m free to go train.

…Well, maybe not completely free.

He did say,

"If you’re going to do it, stick to jogging—low pace, within two hours."

…Actually, if the other side already knows about the self-training, can you still call it “unauthorized”? And if they’re literally assigning the menu, is it even self-training anymore?

………Eh, whatever. I get to run. That’s all that matters.

Heh. Long live unauthorized self-training.

"Okay… going again."

Some people might think it’s dangerous for a young girl to be wandering around at night.

But for us Uma Musume, that warning doesn’t really apply.

We’re Uma Musume. Our previous lives literally defined the word “horsepower.” We’re insanely strong. Even the strongest man alive would seem fragile compared to us. There’s a hard biological wall between our species.

Even if a group of tough guys surrounded us, they wouldn’t be able to do anything.

In Pokémon terms, it’s like a base-600 stat monster fighting a bunch of base-300s. No matter how many show up, we’re not going down easily.

And apparently, Uma Musume are immune to most poisons too.

…I mean, “immune to poison”? What does that even mean? What counts as poison? There’s a lot I’d like clarified. But according to my trainer, substances that affect the body when ingested barely work on us.

Hydrochloric acid or aqua regia—the kind that dissolves flesh—obviously works. But sleeping pills or paralysis toxins? Those hardly do anything.

Though weirdly, parasites in fish still work. I heard from Nature that a junior girl recently went wild and ate a spider, then broke out in hives. Seriously—what a bizarre physiology we have. Uma Musume: certified mysterious creatures.

…Getting sidetracked.

The point is, drugs like sleeping pills won’t work.

Which means that whether it’s a frontal attack or underhanded tactics, normal humans can’t actually hurt us. We’re straightforwardly strong and resistant to status effects.

How are they supposed to deal with that?

The only real option would be guns or blades—and let’s be real, there’s no reason to go that far. We’re a friendly, civilized species.

Because of that, crimes targeting Uma Musume are extremely rare. Once every few years, some drunk idiot does something stupid—that’s about it. General ethics help too.

Of course, I’ve never experienced anything like that myself. My life hasn’t been peaceful, but I haven’t encountered much malice either.

Anyway, that’s why walking alone at night isn’t dangerous for Uma Musume.

If anything, the person who tries to mess with us is the one who should be scared. We’re still kids—we don’t have much self-control. We might go overboard defending ourselves.

And more specifically—I have really good hearing.

While running, I can hear footsteps within ten horse lengths—about twenty-five meters. If anyone suspicious shows up, I’ll detect them long before they get close.

…Which is why, of course, I’ve already noticed the presence following behind me.

About twenty meters back, there’s the sound of footsteps—just one person.

Even at a relaxed pace, the fact that they’re keeping up with me while I’m running means there’s no doubt they’re an Uma Musume.

Judging by the stride, they’re probably on the small side. The rhythm of their steps isn’t very steady—kind of wobbly—so maybe a Junior-class girl who still hasn’t fully adjusted to her rapidly growing body.

But even so, it’s already pretty late.

Why would someone be following me at a time like this?

A die-hard fan… doesn’t seem likely.

When I speed up slightly, they speed up too. When I stop to take a break, they stop as well.

…So they’re matching my pace. Is this some kind of training method?

Still, they’re clearly pushing themselves hard. The breathing I can hear is rough—wheezy, strained.

Even so, the fact that they keep up so stubbornly means they’ve got serious stamina and grit. Maybe they’re better suited for long-distance races.

They’ve been following me for about twenty minutes now, so I briefly consider calling out to them…

Ah… well, whatever. I am curious, sure—but not curious enough to stop.

This isn’t some pointless self-training session just for fun.

This is preparation for the Takarazuka Kinen—and training meant to shake off the lingering discomfort I can’t seem to get rid of.

So, sorry as it may be, I don’t have the leeway to worry about a junior who won’t even call out to me.

If they manage to keep up with me all the way to the end, then I’ll talk to them properly.

…A Junior-class girl catching up to me, huh.

If that happens, I might… yeah. I’d like to race her sometime. That could really get my blood pumping.

In the end, she followed me for about thirty minutes—but I guess she finally ran out of steam. Before I realized it, she was gone.

Even if it was just light running, keeping up for that long… if she really was a Junior, that’s an incredible Uma Musume.

Maybe she was actually a Classic-class runner who matured late. Or someone just coming back from a break, not at full strength yet.

Still, the way she appeared out of nowhere and vanished just as quietly made her feel a little strange.

She kept the distance almost perfectly, and when I glanced back for an instant, all I could make out was a blurry, dark silhouette.

And… I could barely hear it, but she was muttering something under her breath.

…G–ghost…?

No. That can’t be right.

But still… sticking that close, those unsteady footsteps…

What if she was whispering things like, “You’ll pay for this…” or “Why is it only you…”?

N–no, no, no, no!

Yeah. That’s impossible!

There’s no way there’s anything stranger than an Uma Musume in this world!!

“…Alright. Maybe I’ll run back at a higher pace.”

Yeah. Just to wrap up my training.

No ulterior motives. None at all. Definitely none.

After that, I didn’t hear any more footsteps, and I made it safely back to the dorm.

Thank goodness. Seriously, thank goodness.

…Well, obviously!!

"I wasn’t scared or anything. Not even a tiny bit scared, okay?"

There’s no way a ghost would follow someone all the way into the Tracen grounds.

…Wait, no—if it were an Uma Musume ghost, maybe it could walk right in?

Alright, enough. Let’s get back to my room already. I’ll wash off the sweat and crawl straight into bed!

Not because of anything else! I’m just tired from training, that’s all!

And so, instead of going to the Ritto Dorm’s front entrance, I head around to the back.

This is the entrance you use when you’ve snuck out without permission.

First, I climb up the rain gutter running along the wall, pulling myself up with my arms. Once I’m high enough, I use it as a foothold and leap hard to the side.

I grab the edge of my window, then haul myself up like a pull-up—heave!—and I’m in.

Honestly, even I have to admit it’s a return method straight out of an action movie.

Thank goodness the dorm was built with sturdy materials. If it had been an ordinary gutter, it would’ve snapped the moment I kicked off with an Uma Musume’s leg strength.

This is the secret route I discovered to get back without being seen by the dorm manager.

If I get caught coming back late at night, I get about fifteen minutes of nagging.

I have no intention of listening—and she knows I won’t—so it’s a completely pointless waste of time. Better to skip it altogether.

"…Ah, Will-chan, welcome back."

"I’ve just returned. Thank you for leaving the window open."

"…Hehe, v."

After getting back, I greet my roommate.

Without batting an eye at me suddenly climbing in through the window, Meek-senpai flashes me a peace sign.

Seriously—she’s such a reliable senior.

---

"Nature, would you like to go for a run with me?"

The day after I heard those strange footsteps, I said that to a friend I was having lunch with.

"Together? You mean running side by side? But, Will—"

"Yes. My schedule is managed by my trainer. However, from three to six today, I’ve been designated free time."

"Free time… doesn’t that mean they want you to rest?"

"No. When I confirmed, I was told, ‘Spend it however you like. However, sprinting at full speed is prohibited. If you break this rule, you’ll be barred from running in the Takarazuka Kinen.’"

"...Sounds rough. Horino Trainer’s got it tough too."

"Excuse me? The one suffering here is me, whose self-training has been restricted."

When I tilt my head, Nature lets out a big sigh.

This feels unfair. Why is that?

"So, you want to run?"

"Yes. More like… running together. Or something like a mock race."

"So you want a rival to run against?"

"Well… something like that."

"That’s kind of vague for you, Will. What’s going on?"

Hmm. How should I put it…

This is an extremely intuitive feeling, with no concrete evidence whatsoever.

That’s why I haven’t told my trainer about it.

Or rather—even if I told a human trainer, I don’t think I’d get a true understanding of the core issue. There’s also a high chance he’d take it on himself in some strange way again.

That’s why I chose to talk to Nature—another Uma Musume.

…About this slightly dark topic.

"If things stay like this… I don’t know how to say it, but I have a really bad feeling."

"A bad feeling? Like you might lose?"

"No. Win or lose aside… it’s hard to put into words, but something like… I feel there’s a wall. And if I don’t break through it, things will go very wrong."

"A wall, huh… As another Uma Musume, I kind of get what you mean."

Is this what they call racing intuition?

For a while now, I’ve had this vague premonition.

Soon, I’ll hit a wall. And when that happens, something bad will occur.

Not a loss. Not a falling-out. Something more… how should I put it… dangerous.

If I don’t overcome it somehow… I really feel like something irreversible will happen.

…Like never being able to run again.

Honestly speaking—

If it meant winning the Takarazuka Kinen, I wouldn’t mind even picking up a minor injury.

Of course, I don’t want an injury that would keep me from running for the rest of my life. But even half a year of recovery would be acceptable.

To begin with, the “career-ending injury” my trainer talks about has a very low probability. It’s just the worst-case scenario—statistically speaking, only a few percent at most.

And even if I did draw that short straw…

I wouldn’t regret it.

I want to win the Takarazuka Kinen.

I can feel a boiling, surging heat welling up inside me when I think about facing powerful rivals. I want to cross the finish line faster than anyone else.

…A heat I never felt before. That heat is what’s driving me to race now.

And there are so many reasons why I want to win the Takarazuka Kinen.

To live up to those expectations. To be the strongest.

To stay together with my trainer. To have him acknowledge that I wasn’t wrong.

And above all…

To make him fall in love with me.

Sure, it would be sad to lose the ability to run just after I finally learned to enjoy it…

But I have desires. I have reasons. And to fulfill them, I’ll do anything.

Because it’s something I want badly enough to stake my life on.

Now I understand how Teio must have felt back then at the Derby.

Even if it’s dangerous. Even if these legs won’t hold out.

If there’s a race out there that can make your blood burn that hot, then as an Uma Musume, you want to run it.

…That’s why I won’t regret it.

To satisfy my own desires, I’ll ask my trainer to go along with something unreasonable.

I might end up causing him serious trouble.

I might leave him with a scar that will never fade.

Even so, I still want to win.

In a sense, maybe that was my fate.

If that day ever comes—

I’ll be sorry, but as the price for having reached out a hand to someone like me back then…

I fully intend to have my trainer take responsibility all the way to the end.

And after that, I’ll make sure he gets back on his feet.

There are plenty of Uma Musume who need you.

As a trainer, you still have to properly nurture the future of many Uma Musume.

That’s what I’ll say, as I step away myself.

…But that can’t really be called a happy ending, can it?

As someone who lives for happy endings, I can’t accept a conclusion that unhappy.

A story’s ending should always be filled with smiles and happiness.

So that he can move forward.

So that I can move forward.

To reach that dreamlike happy ending—

I have to overcome this wall.

That’s why I tried some self-training again yesterday, but…

No matter what I do, it doesn’t feel like anything’s changed.

Maybe the wall I’m sensing isn’t something I can break through just by training harder.

But I don’t know what else to do.

Up until now, whenever I was troubled, I ran.

If I got faster, everything would be solved. That was the fundamental truth of my life.

But this time, it doesn’t seem like something I can solve just by trying harder on my own.

Which is how I ended up thinking I should ask Nature to help me out.

"I was thinking that if I could also acquire a Domain, maybe the situation would change. So I thought that if I ran together with you—someone who already has a Domain—I might be able to grasp something."

"Ahh, hmm… I can’t go into details, but my Domain probably can’t be activated with just two people. I’m not sure I’ll actually be any help, you know?"

"Even so, please. I want to run with you—the most terrifying Uma Musume to me."

"Me… terrifying? Not Teio?"

Teio?

Ah, well… Teio is terrifying, in her own way, but…

"Teio is certainly the strongest Uma Musume I know. However, she isn’t terrifying. I will always surpass her head-on."

"Whoa… feels like I’m seeing that sparkle of yours really clearly for the first time in a while."

Sparkle? I’m not glowing or anything… Is that some kind of metaphor?

…Well, whatever. I’ll set that aside for now.

"But the one I find truly terrifying is you, Nature. You don’t come straight at me—you use every possible means to close the gap. To Hoshino Willm, you are the most frightening rival there is."

"O–oh… uh… wow… should I be saying thank you for that?"

Nature scratched her cheek awkwardly, looked away, and turned bright red.

She didn’t seem used to being praised—such an innocent reaction.

Honestly, seeing a beautiful girl flustered by unfamiliar praise really is something special…

Incidentally, my trainer apparently agrees that “Nature is the most terrifying.”

In the last Japan Derby, I barely beat Teio by a nose. In the mock race right before that, my margin over Nature was only one and a half lengths. If you look at raw strength alone, Teio was probably the stronger one.

But “strong” and “terrifying” point in slightly different directions.

Nature is still the most frightening rival.

Teio always fights at full strength.

She races by fully leveraging her own natural talent, without relying on other Uma Musume. She doesn’t let the surrounding situation sway her—but by the same token, she also doesn’t ride the flow of the race to accelerate further.

That’s why racing against her always comes down to a pure contest of specs.

…In other words, unless a clear gap opens in our training from here on out, I’ll probably keep winning by a nose.

Nature, on the other hand, is a schemer. Her effective strength changes drastically depending on the situation.

Track conditions. Distance. Whether there’s an incline. The length of the final straight. The other runners. The cheers of the fans.

Everything becomes material she uses to construct her race.

Last time it was a one-and-a-half–length margin, but if the conditions line up even better for her, it wouldn’t be strange if I lost next time.

Of course that’s terrifying.

And maybe—just maybe—that’s exactly why there’s something I can learn from such a terrifying Uma Musume.

…To be honest, aside from Teio—who’s still recovering—I don’t really have anyone else I can ask. That’s part of it too.

"So that’s why I really want to run together with you. Of course, it’s fine as long as you get permission from your trainer."

"…Well, if you put it like that, I can’t exactly say no. Alright, I’ll ask my trainer for now. Don’t get your hopes up too much."

Incidentally, permission came through almost immediately. Apparently, it was an instant yes.

Every time I think about it, Nature’s trainer really is incredibly decisive…

---

After that, my trainer—who rushed over after hearing the rumor—banned the idea of calling it a mock race outright.

As a result, it ended up being nothing more than parallel running training.

…We’d already done pace running together the other day, so it didn’t feel like there was much to gain.

Nothing about either of us had changed since then, and with both trainers present to observe, it ended up feeling like an ordinary joint training session.

Sure, it builds stamina. And more than anything, running with a friend is fun, but…

"This is bad… at this rate, things really aren’t looking good."

I still don’t know what this dull, lingering sense of urgency gnawing at my heart really is.

But… I’m certain that a wall stands in my near future.

And it might be a wall I can’t overcome with my own strength alone.

"…No. I’ll overcome it. I will—and I’ll prove it."

I’m no longer just Hoshino Willm, an ordinary Uma Musume.

I’m Hoshino Willm—a racing Uma Musume under Horino Ayumu Trainer.

I can’t afford to break. I can’t stop running.

For his sake… and for my own.

So please—

Believe in me, and keep watching me, Horino Ayumu Trainer.