Chapter 77: Horino Ayumu

Hoshino Wilm won the Arima Kinen.

Silence Suzuka, Special Week, Seiun Sky, Happy Meek, Mejiro McQueen, Mejiro Ryan, Daitaku Helios, Nice Nature, Tokai Teio, Twin Turbo…… Against a lineup of such formidable rivals, she never yielded a single step, proving her strength beyond any doubt.

And then, some time after that—

Using her “reward privilege” this time, she demanded that we spend an entire day together, doing nothing but having fun.

---

In a residential neighborhood near Tracen Academy.

"Trainer, over here!"

As she called out, Hoshino Wilm waved her hand energetically in my direction. Even with a disguise, she was still one of the most famous people in Japan. Honestly, I wished she’d avoid drawing attention by shouting in public like that, but…… well, today could be an exception.

She had worked tirelessly for the Arima Kinen, after all.

…No—not just the Arima Kinen.

So much had happened over the past year.

We’d gone to her hometown to greet her parents and heard about her past. Right after the Derby, because of my own misunderstanding, I’d forced her through something painful. At the Takarazuka Kinen, I’d fallen for her and resolved to become her trainer…… From there, we endured rehabilitation together, somehow won the Japan Cup, and then, at the end of the year, came the Arima Kinen.

I’d caused her an unbelievable amount of trouble. More than that, the effort she’d put in was far beyond what was reasonable for someone her age. If anything, “spending a full day playing around without any self-restraint” felt like far too small an apology—or reward.

I gave a wry smile and stood beside her. Then—

"…Hm?"

Hoshino Wilm slipped her arm around mine. When I looked over, she smiled, just a little bashfully.

"Is that not okay?"

"…No, it’s not that it’s not okay, but—"

"Hehe. Then let’s go!"

With that, she started walking.

I didn’t really know what she meant by “playing,” but…… judging by the result, what she chose was something unusually age-appropriate for her…… no, maybe even younger than that.

For example—

"All right, I’m going to look for you, Trainer! …Uh, no, hiding behind a tree like that is kind of pushing it, don’t you think?"

Playing hide-and-seek, limited to the park grounds.

"Ahaha, you’ll never catch me like that! Come and get me—this way, follow the sound of my clapping!"

Running around in a pointless game of tag.

"Mm, yeah… climbing up high really does make you feel good, doesn’t it?"

Climbing on a jungle gym.

Those kinds of things—what people typically imagine when they hear the word “play.” We repeated them over and over, without caring about who was watching, right up until just before sunset.

As evening approached, we headed home.

"Phew, that was fun…… It feels like it’s been ages since I played like a child like this."

As the world sank into dusk, she spun around beneath the white glow of the streetlights, laughing as if she were dancing.

"Come to think of it, as you get older, you stop doing this sort of thing, don’t you? But when you’re running around however you like, just like a kid…… it feels like that’s when things are the most fun."

"…Hmm."

There was more than a little truth in her words.

The longer we live, the more we accumulate—past experiences, memories. And not all of them are positive. The hassles of human relationships, obligations we can’t avoid, painful memories…… we end up carrying all sorts of things on our backs.

And as that excess baggage piles up, we eventually lose the ability to simply play for play’s sake. We stop being children who can believe in a hopeful future without any basis, and become adults who worry about efficiency, meaning, and how others see us—unable to act freely on a whim.

"…The longer you live, the more you have to carry. A life that was once just fun turns into something painful. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’d be better to die, but wouldn’t it be more enjoyable to keep playing like a child forever? Don’t you think so too?"

She stopped spinning beneath the streetlight and asked me that, her tone still cheerful.

Wasn’t childhood—the time when you didn’t have to carry anything or think about anything—the most fun of all? Didn’t you want to go back to those days?

I almost nodded in agreement on impulse…… but then I shook my head.

"No. I’m fine as I am."

"Is that so? Even though it was this much fun?"

"I won’t deny that it was fun…… but there’s something I have to do that matters more than that. …More importantly, can I ask you one thing?"

"Hm? Go ahead."

…Being asked directly for my will like this, I finally felt like I could speak freely. I couldn’t let this chance slip by.

I voiced the question that had been bothering me all along.

"Who are you? And why do you have Hoshino Wilm’s appearance?"

---

The girl standing before me, wearing Hoshino Wilm’s face, was not Hoshino Wilm.

At my near-certain words, she froze for a few seconds, then—

"…When did you realize?"

The expression she’d been wearing vanished as she asked.

My answer was—

"When I met you."

…I’d had a faint sense of something being off about this world since the morning.

My memories from before today were blurry and hard to recall. The only thing I could clearly remember—no, clearly recognize as fact—was that “Hoshino Wilm won the Arima Kinen.” I couldn’t remember what I’d done yesterday, or what I’d eaten last night—not a single detail. …It was as if those minor things simply hadn’t been set.

On top of that, my thinking itself felt sluggish. Sometimes my mind grew hazy, and other times it veered off in strange, unexpected directions.

If that were all, I might’ve shrugged it off as “one of those things,” but…… the moment I saw her, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

"You’re not Hoshino Wilm. Anyone could tell just by looking."

"…Really? I thought I did a pretty good job playing her."

I frowned despite myself. What was she talking about?

"The way you smile is completely different from hers. Hoshino Wilm doesn’t smile that beautifully."

That was only the most obvious difference—there were plenty of others. The way she spoke, her word choices, her timing, the topics she brought up, her gestures, how she got embarrassed, her little habits. With all of those being different, I couldn’t chalk it up to her being carried away after a big race win.

She was someone else entirely, merely wearing Hoshino Wilm’s appearance. It hadn’t taken long to reach that conclusion.

And even if my consciousness was hazy, once a single doubt surfaced, questions followed in quick succession. Why were my memories after mid-December unclear? Why did my thoughts stall whenever I tried to recall them? Why was it so hard to think clearly right now? And above all—why hadn’t I questioned any of this until now?

There was only one answer that explained everything.

"This isn’t reality. It’s a dream I’m having, isn’t it? Am I wrong?"

When I voiced my reasoning, she stiffened slightly, then gave a wry smile.

"…You really don’t change, even in a place like this."

"Hm? Don’t change?"

"You can’t look away from questions right in front of you. You’re clumsy—so even when it comes to the unknown, hardship, fear, or stress, you face them head-on. You’re serious like that. …You could’ve stayed comfortable forever if you’d just pretended not to notice."

It sounded as though…… she knew me very well.

Well, she was someone from my dream, so perhaps it wasn’t strange…… but still.

I looked at her again. Her appearance was unmistakably Hoshino Wilm’s, yet inside…… her consciousness was something else entirely. And despite everything she’d done today, I couldn’t match her behavior to anyone I knew. Since she appeared in my dream, she had to be someone I’d met or seen before—or so I thought.

As if reading my confusion, she smiled faintly.

"Well, of course you don’t remember. Even if you did, things are pretty different between then and now anyway…"

Unease crept in at those cryptic words, but more than that, I frowned at how the conversation flowed as if I’d spoken my thoughts out loud.

"…My thoughts—"

"It’s not like you can’t keep secrets, but I can kind of tell what you’re thinking. …Um, right—because this is your dream… or something like that."

There’s a theory that dreams exist to organize memories—a world of consciousness and recollection where unconscious thoughts, sorted memories, and chains of association appear like a patchwork.

If a dream becomes lucid—if you realize it’s a dream—you can fly, split yourself apart, or make anything you imagine happen.

Which meant…… even though I couldn’t quite feel it yet, everything I thought might end up manifesting in this world.

Well, it wasn’t as though having my thoughts seen was a serious problem. If this really was my dream, then she was probably just a part of my own consciousness. There shouldn’t be any issue with myself knowing about myself.

Beneath the white glow of the streetlight, she wore Hoshino Wilm’s exact appearance—yet held a smile that was unmistakably not hers.

"The idea that this is your dream… yeah, that’s mostly correct. You were hit by a car some time ago and fell into a coma. You can think of this as the kind of dream you’re seeing while you’re asleep."

…So that’s how it is.

Hearing that, I finally remembered.

I’d gone out shopping the night before Bourbon’s Asahi Hai Futurity Stakes.

That’s right—I got hit by a car.

I remembered the shock to my back, collapsing to the ground, the headlights drawing closer…… and then nothing.

If what she was saying was true, then I’d fallen into a coma and had been sleeping ever since.

"This is bad—I have to wake up!"

As I panicked and blurted that out—

"Why?"

She abruptly wiped all expression from her face and asked.

"Why do you have to wake up?"

In the residential neighborhood where night had fully fallen, the streetlights flickered on and off. Appearing and disappearing in that light, she spoke in a voice that sent a chill straight through me.

"Even if you wake up, all that’ll happen is you’ll keep carrying more and more burdens and keep suffering. After going through all that pain, why do you still… try so hard to live?"

"Is it to save someone? To feel like you’ve saved ‘someone’ so you can feel saved yourself? Because you can’t live otherwise? Because you feel like you have to?"

It sounded like condemnation…… no, like temptation.

Reality is painful. Living only brings more suffering. So wouldn’t it be better to stay right here, inside this dream?

"………"

I could understand what she was saying.

Life is full of hardship. Especially after making a serious mistake, there are times when you just want to run away from reality, thinking you don’t even have the face to show yourself.

I understood her point.

What confused me was this—why would a being that was supposed to be part of my own consciousness say something like that?

And why did her voice carry such deep sorrow?

I wasn’t dissatisfied with how I was living.

At least, I didn’t think I was so unhappy with my current situation that a part of my own mind would make such a proposal in such a pained voice… or so I believed.

And yet—why did she look at me with such sadness in her eyes?

Still, setting that aside.

If I were to answer her question, then my answer would be—

"Because I have to go back to Hoshino Wilm."

That was it. There was no other reason.

"Why do you want to help her? Because you feel like you have to? Because you think you need to save someone?"

"It’s not like that. That’s not it. Wanting to save someone—that’s way too noble a reason."

I often think of myself as a hopeless person, and lately that feeling has only grown stronger.

The reason I want to stay by Hoshino Wilm’s side as her trainer isn’t something as admirable as that. If it were something like “I want to save someone,” at least it would sound good… but it isn’t.

Without thinking, I lowered my gaze, staring at the ground beneath my feet as I spoke.

"I just… want to live up to the trust she’s placed in me."

I first felt that trust—probably right after the Derby.

That day, she told me, "You’re the only trainer for me." Since then, she’s never wavered from that stance, always telling me the same thing.

"I’m your Uma Musume."

She believes in me.

As her trainer, as her guardian, as an adult… as someone who guides her.

And then, on that day—

She trusted my training plan, carried it out, and at the Takarazuka Kinen, showed me the best run of her life.

Watching that, I thought, As Hoshino Wilm’s trainer, I want to keep watching her run.

"Responding to Hoshino Wilm’s trust as her trainer."

In the end, that’s the single greatest driving force behind everything I do right now.

If I don’t go back to her soon, I won’t be able to train her. I won’t be able to watch her run.

That’s why… I have to wake up as soon as possible.

"I want to live up to her trust. I want to give something worthy back to the girl who believes in me."

"It can be a training plan, or race results—anything is fine. I just want to see her running happily, feeling fulfilled. That’s all I want."

…Really, it’s such an unflattering motive.

I was happy to be evaluated, happy to be wanted so strongly… it even felt like I’d been saved by it. And before I knew it, I’d started wanting her—for myself.

Not as her trainer… but as Horino Ayumu, wanting to be by her side.

But even with all that trust she gives me, I don’t have much to give back. I decided to become a trainer and built my entire life around that choice, so there’s nothing else I can do.

That’s why I thought that, at the very least, I’d support her as her trainer.

In the end, that’s the only reason I want to be Hoshino Wilm’s trainer.

To be someone worthy of Hoshino Wilm, an Uma Musume… I want a reason that makes me worthy of standing by her side.

That’s all it is—nothing more than something truly dull… a selfish, self-centered desire.

"I want to be by her side as her trainer. I still haven’t fully lived up to the trust she’s given me. That’s why I have to wake up as soon as possible."

I muttered it to myself, like a soliloquy.

When I look inward again, it really is… such an ugly desire that it almost makes me hate myself. If this were reality, there’s no way I could ever have said something like this out loud to someone else.

And yet…

Even if it’s a selfish desire, it’s still… an important reason to me.

This was the first time.

The first time I’d ever found something I wanted to do, beyond merely something I had to do.

That’s why I thought I had to wake up somehow, no matter what—

"…………?"

Under the flickering streetlight, I catch sight of her expression and feel confused.

The girl wearing Hoshino Wilm’s face looked… sad, as if she’d been struck by something—and yet somehow happy too, a complicated, tangled expression.

Why would she make a face like that…? No—more importantly, she’s supposed to be part of my—

"…I see. I see, I see. So she really means that much to you."

She murmured softly.

Her voice, like her expression, was complex and hard to read.

"Yeah. She does."

"The most important person to you?"

"Yeah. She’s the most important."

"…………I see. That’s good."

Good? What is?

Before I can ask, she points behind me.

"Then go. Go to the girl who truly matters to you—the one you truly want to save."

I turn toward where she’s pointing.

The scene behind me is no longer the same residential neighborhood.

At some point, the houses had vanished, replaced by a bottomless darkness stretching endlessly into the distance. And within it… a single light, glowing far away.

This is my dream.

So maybe such an abrupt change is possible… but even taking that into account, the sight feels strangely unnatural.

"If I go there… will I wake up?"

"Yeah. …But before that, there’s one condition—and one request."

When I look back, the streetlight above her flickers violently. Appearing and disappearing with the light, she closes her eyes and speaks.

"First, the condition… You have to give up one thing. What you’d call an aftereffect of the accident."

"…That said, you don’t need to worry about it."

"It’s something you don’t need anymore—something that would only hold you back now. So… will you accept the condition?"

I don’t know what exactly she’s referring to, but—

"All right. If it means waking up sooner, I don’t care what I have to give up."

"…Okay. I understand."

At that moment—

The streetlight above her head went out completely with a soft pop.

The residential neighborhood, where the sun had long since set, was swallowed by darkness… and her figure vanished entirely. But before I can say anything, she speaks quietly, with a faint trace of longing.

"And then, the request. …I want you to tell me your name."

"My name? Horino Ayumu, but—"

"Not your name in this life. Your name from your previous life. I was really sad that it all ended without ever knowing it."

"……?"

No good. My thoughts are completely hazy.

There’s something off about her words… and yet I can’t quite grasp what, exactly, feels wrong.

…Well, whatever. I’ll set that aside for now.

My name from a previous life. There shouldn’t be any harm in telling her that. After all, this is nothing more than a dream.

I honestly speak the name that once represented who I was.

"I see… ────. It really was a nice name."

Someone whose presence I can no longer even feel murmurs that, and then—

Immediately after, a bright, refreshed voice reaches me.

"Yep! We played a lot at the end, and you granted my request too. I’m completely satisfied now!"

"Come on, go on, hurry! Don’t stay in a dark world like this—go and support her properly!"

Urged on, I turn around.

All light has vanished from the world… save for that single glow shining in the distance.

I start walking toward it.

And before long, I break into a run—

"Goodbye, ──you."

At the very end, I feel like I heard those words.

---

…Waking up was truly awful.

My whole body feels heavy. No— even my eyelids feel heavy. And when I try to move, sharp pain shoots through me. Honestly, I’d rather stay perfectly still… but that’s not an option right now.

I’m already starting to forget the details of the dream I was just having, but… one thing I remember clearly is that I’d been asleep for a very long time.

Ignoring the anguished complaints screaming from every part of my body as best I can, I force myself to sit up.

"Master!"

"Ugh…"

Someone’s voice—apparently calling out to me—rings in my head, echoing painfully. A few seconds later, I realize it belongs to my assigned Uma Musume.

…This is bad. My head’s not working right. I need to hurry.

"Miho— no, kh— cough—"

"! …Reboot confirmed. Determined to be overload due to sudden movement. Master, please remain still for the time being."

…Embarrassing as it is, I was already at my limit even without being told.

I’d managed to sit up, but that was as far as I could go. I couldn’t put any strength into my body. It almost felt like my brain and body weren’t properly connected.

Also… my nose. There’s something strange about my nose—

Ah. That’s a tube.

I see… so I really was unconscious.

If I remember right, in cases like this they either send nutrients to your stomach through a tube through your nose, or make a small opening in your abdomen and feed you directly that way.

…For now, I’m just glad they didn’t make a hole in me.

If they had, there really wouldn’t have been anything I could do.

I force strength into my trembling hand, remove the restraint, and… pull on the tube.

"…Master?"

Ignoring Bourbon’s puzzled voice, I continue without stopping, carefully pulling it out so I don’t injure anything inside. …Normally, this is probably done while you’re unconscious, or under anesthesia. To be honest, the foreign sensation and pain were intense enough to almost make me cry, but this is just a necessary cost.

"Ugh… hack, hack!"

I finally manage to pull the tube completely out and, holding my nose, speak to Bourbon.

"Miho-no… Bour-bon… what… time… is it…?"

"When you say ‘time’ as in the current date and hour, it is December 22nd, 17:37."

December 22nd.

Will’s… Arima Kinen day.

…This is bad. The worst-case scenario.

Did I miss her race?

"Master, please listen calmly. Master was struck by an automobile two weeks ago, and—"

"I know… Bourbon."

"Y-yes."

To her—still mostly expressionless, but showing the faintest hint of confusion—I say this.

"Please. Take me to Nakayama Racecourse."

Mihono Bourbon is extremely intelligent—and extremely obedient.

In a sense, she’s almost mechanical… perhaps because her original horse was called a cyborg. Her way of thinking and processing is fast, pure, and half machine-like.

From my words and behavior, she grasped that I already understood the situation. From there, she must have inferred what I was thinking.

I am Hoshino Wilm’s trainer.

If I’m saying I want to go to Nakayama Racecourse at a time like this, there’s only one possible reason—to see my trainee… to see Hoshino Wilm as soon as possible.

It takes her less than two seconds to reach that conclusion.

Straightforward and kind-hearted, she gives a small nod.

"Order… no, ‘request’ accepted. Acknowledged. Let us go, Master."

I feel bad for the hospital staff, but I don’t have the luxury of following proper procedures right now.

Bourbon and I begin preparing to escape this hospital room without being noticed.

"Please leave the method of escape to me. For situations like this, Hoshino Wilm-senpai taught me a technique. Master, please confirm the necessary belongings."

"Sorry… I’m counting on you."

I don’t know what kind of “technique” she means, but it’s probably some way to sneak out of the hospital.

…The fact that “Will taught her” gives me a bit of a bad feeling, but please—let it be something reasonable. I’m begging you.

Shaking off my anxiety, I push my aching body and look at what’s beside the bed.

There are many flower arrangements lined up. It seems a lot of acquaintances came to visit me.

Once things settle down, I’ll have to go around and thank them.

And among them… my phone isn’t here.

Bourbon has a tendency to break electronic devices when she touches them, and she shouldn’t have a phone herself either. In that case, contacting anyone will be difficult. I wanted to give Masa a heads-up beforehand.

Instead, tucked behind the arrangements… is my planner.

I should’ve had it in my suit during the accident—maybe Masa left it here for me.

I flip through it lightly and find a handwritten note in a woman’s handwriting.

"If you wake up, call the nurse immediately. Absolutely do not walk around on your own. Absolutely! —Masa"

"…Sorry, Masa. That’s a bit impossible."

Pretending I never saw that, I tear out a page from the planner, leave a note with the pen that was there, and—

…Huh? What’s this?

"Master, preparations are complete. This way, please."

"Ah—yeah. Thanks."

Reflexively grabbing what was on the desk, I dragged my heavy body over to Bourbon.

…And then—

My body was suddenly lifted.

"?"

"Very well, Master. We are departing. Please brace for impact."

"???"

Why… is the window open?

And why… is Bourbon carrying me on her back?

"Uh, Bourbon?"

"Operation ‘Escape: Fall Down’… commencing."

Hey—Bourbon?

…Mihono Bourbon?!

---

I thought I might actually die, but somehow I survived.

My body was already wrecked, and mentally I wasn’t doing great either. Never did I imagine I’d end up falling from a fourth-floor window… Life really is unpredictable.

It worked out because Bourbon skillfully used window ledges, rain gutters, and railings to disperse the impact, but… if her grip had slipped even a little, I’d have been flattened.

I can’t help thinking there had to have been a calmer, more reasonable method.

Still, in the end—even if we attracted a bit of attention—we managed to escape the hospital. For that, I can only be grateful.

So, with that, we somehow made it out of the hospital room…

But the real problem began after we left the hospital.

Both Bourbon and I are already well-known to the public. I’m the trainer of an undefeated Triple Crown—or even Five-Crown—Uma Musume, and Mihono Bourbon is a major contender in the central classic races. Anyone even moderately familiar with the industry wouldn’t find it strange to recognize our faces.

On top of that, my muscles were completely stiff, to the point where there was no way I could run, and I was still wearing a hospital gown—hardly suitable for movement. To reach Nakayama Racecourse as quickly as possible, I needed Bourbon to carry me on her back… and naturally, that made us stand out. A lot.

To avoid attracting attention, we grabbed a taxi the moment we exited the hospital and forced the wide-eyed driver to rush us straight to the racecourse.

While the taxi was on its way, I asked Bourbon about what had happened since then and did some light stretching, trying to loosen my stiff muscles.

Bourbon won the Asahi Hai Futurity Stakes. Apparently, it wasn’t an easy victory—it came down to the wire, a nose-length finish. As for Hoshino Wilm, she seemed to have been deeply troubled for a time, but at some point she pulled herself together. Under the guidance of Masa and Tazuna-san, she continued her training, and just a short while ago, she ran in the Arima Kinen.

When I sensed Bourbon was about to continue with, "In the Arima Kinen—", I stopped her with a raised hand.

"No… sorry, but don’t tell me the result yet."

Missing the Arima Kinen like this… at the very least, I wanted to hear the result directly from her. Understanding my intent, she gave a small nod.

After finishing the general sequence of events, I refocused on stretching when… Bourbon glanced at something placed beside me and murmured.

"…Master, that is—"

"Hm… I’m not really sure, but it was in the hospital room, so I just picked it up without thinking. What should I do?"

What I’d brought along with my planner was a single notebook. There was no title or name on the cover, and it still looked brand new.

If it belonged to the hospital, taking it would be a problem. …Though, to begin with, sneaking out on our own was already a problem.

That thought gave me a headache as I hesitated—but then Bourbon spoke quietly.

"…That is something Hoshino Wilm-senpai left in the hospital room. I estimate it is a gift for you, Master."

"Hoshino Wilm’s…?"

"There is still some time before we reach the racecourse. I propose reviewing its contents."

I hesitated a little… but Wilm had clearly been under immense pressure. If this notebook was filled with resentment toward me, then I had a responsibility to face it.

"…Yeah. You’re right."

I opened the notebook.

---

There were, indeed, words of resentment toward the past written there.

"Why do you disappear at times like this?"

"Because of you, my heart is a complete mess."

Many such words were lined up across the pages.

…And yet—

"I want to receive your training again. Even if not that, just being together would be enough."

"Please wake up soon. There are so many things I want to say, ask, and do."

"I’ll wait as long as it takes. For the day you come back as my trainer."

"I’m your Uma Musume."

"So please, don’t carry everything alone or push yourself into despair."

"Let me share what you’re thinking, and let me carry the burden together with you."

"We’re a contract trainer and trainee Uma Musume—partners."

"And besides, you’re my benefactor. You saved me."

"So this time, let me be the one to save you. Let me stay by your side."

Those words—many times more numerous—were filled with hope for a brighter future.

---

Reading them… I reflexively covered my mouth.

…So that’s it.

Even in the future ahead, she’ll be by my side.

"Master?"

Bourbon, who had been watching me from beside her, spoke up.

"Hm? What is it, Mihono Bourbon?"

"Are you… crying?"

Crying…?

Before I realized it, tears were streaming from my eyes—tears I didn’t understand the reason for… or even who they were meant for.

"…No, sorry. I just woke up, so my emotions might be unstable. Don’t worry about it."

Saying that, I wiped my eyes, closed the notebook, and looked forward.

Nakayama Racecourse was already just ahead.

…It’s about time I stopped looking back at the past and started thinking about what I’ll say when I see her.