Chapter 17: Speaking of the New Year, It's a New Start!

Speaking of the New Year, It's a New Start!

The new year has arrived, winter break is over, and school has started again.

Nothing particularly special happened over the New Year's holiday, and it ended with just me staying warm in the kotatsu.

The only thing that was different was the annual New Year's tradition of flattering all the relatives. I even poured drinks for them while flattering them, feeling like a hostess. I was used to flattering Suiren-chan so much in the latter half of last year. Thanks to it, I got a ton of New Year's money, so I shouldn't have any money problems this year.

Ah, speaking of Suiren-chan, I'm starting to think things are going well.

I think she'll be able to calm down over this relatively long winter break and realize how messed up she's been.

After school, I kept confirming her flawed ideas about communication, and she completely believed they were correct.

There's no way she'll fit in if she barges in on other kids and speaks in an overly assertive manner.

I'd often seen her talking to her classmates, but I could sense from our after-school conversations that it wasn't going well.

I'm sure she'd wondered over the break if she was doing something wrong.

But she can't admit it.

Because to her, it was definitely progress.

Before, she'd never been able to talk to others on her own; the only one that had made her do it was me, the only friend who'd affirmed her.

If she just kept talking nonstop about the things she likes, with the same distance and approach as in the manga she read, the other kids would surely smile and be happy. Because they'd say what she has to say was interesting.

The doubts that arose within her, and the desire to deny them.

But no matter how much she worried, the answer wouldn't come. 

That's because, no matter how much she worries over winter break, there's no one at home who can confirm it. The only friend she can ask if she's wrong is in the library after school.

Bottled emotions are terrifying. They drive people to do things that no one, not even the person themselves, can understand.

"I don't want Yuri-san to disappear like the kids who drifted away from me."

That's probably how she rang in the New Year.

"Yuri-san! Ah, Happy Ney–, I mean, Happy New Year!"

"Yeah, Happy New Year. It's been quite a while since the New Year, but it's been a while since we last saw each other."

We exchange greetings for the first time in a long time in the heated library.

This distinctive way of speaking is somehow nostalgic. I'm sure this nostalgia will fade after we've talked for a while, and be replaced by the usual irritation at her incomprehensibility.

"Eh, hehehe."

We hug each other tightly.

We've been hugging each other like this lately whenever we meet. Of course, this is also to help developing her misguided views on how to interact with people of the same sex.

Of course, there are perks to it too. Gentleness is good.

...But this seems to be what I thought.

"Hmm."

She's clearly holding my arm tighter than last year. It's like she has no intention of letting me go. It must have been a very painful New Year's Eve.

Right now, she's desperate to find out. Whether she's wrong, whether I reject her actions.

If I reject her, she'll know she was wrong. If I accept her, she'll be confident she wasn't wrong. 

"I don't want to let her go, I don't want to let her go, I don't want to let her go.

If Yuri-san were to disappear now, I'd be alone again."

I'm sure she's struggling with this conflict.

She's grown up to be such a lovely girl. A sad monster, filled with self-love, but unable to see herself more than anyone else. A beast born from not having a perspective to see things objectively.

So I'm just the same as always.

All I have to do is unconditionally accept everything about her.

"Y-Yuri-san!"

There was a clear change in the strength in her arms. It wasn't strength, it was a different feeling. The emotion behind her actions clearly changed.

It took about six months... but it was surprisingly easy.

"This won't do... Let's go behind the bookshelf in the back, shall we~?"

Since I enrolled in this school, everything has been going smoothly, as if blessed by God. I've had no problems interacting with her, and we've even had time alone together.

It almost feels artificial.

But I can't think of anyone to support my activities, and I can't think of any reason for it. I guess I was just lucky.

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Now I have no reason to come here often. Ah, I'm going to be bored now.

Although this wasn't my main focus, this is the end of the story about the Substitute-chan. Originally, it was just a relationship that Yuri started out with out of frustration.

Next time, we'll be talking about a different girl.