Chapter 3: Treat her like a girl and she becomes a girl. That’s how it works.

The rear cargo hatch of the Hummingbird opened as it descended once more into the forest on the surface, and I stepped down into the world of the MMORPG Sword Blaze Online.

The scent of the forest, which I hadn’t noticed while wearing the ground-combat armor helmet, tickled my nose.

Is this really the world of an MMORPG? It feels too real.

Anyway, I needed to talk to other players and gather information.

When I arrived earlier, the power assist from the ground-combat armor had done all the work. But the black, full-body, bodysuit-style electromagnetic shield suit I was wearing now didn’t have anything like that. As a result, I had to walk out of the forest on my own, and that took a fair amount of time.

Along the way, I spotted what looked like a game enemy: a round, mouse-like creature about as tall as a human’s waist, oddly cute in its own way. It didn’t seem inclined to attack, however, and simply wandered around, apparently uninterested in me.

Well, monsters near the starting area in the early game were probably like that. Part of me wanted to tell it to show a little more initiative, but avoiding danger was convenient. After all, I was apparently level 1, and if this body only had abilities that followed this world’s rules, things would get very bad if firearms didn’t work.

I considered testing whether guns were effective, but shooting a slightly cute, seemingly non-hostile mouse felt wrong, and ammunition was limited. I could request supplies from the landing ship we’d set down on the surface, but I wanted to avoid wasting resources.

For now, I’d get to town and pick up a sword that fit this world.

In any case, I made it back to town safely.

It was obvious by now that this had become reality, but I still felt a strange sense of awe at how seamlessly the inside and outside of the town connected into one continuous space.

The players who had been wandering around the middle of the main street right after I arrived in this world were gone.

With nowhere else to turn, I considered relying on that cat-eared maid again, which made this a bit of a problem.

But I found her almost immediately.

Following fantasy RPG convention—swords, magic, and all—that meant the tavern. Someone should be there, I thought. When I went inside, I saw a cat-eared, twin-tailed girl in an indecent pink maid outfit slumped face-first on a table, muttering to herself. She looked like she’d already been chugging booze.

Yep. Definitely an old man inside.

"Going home, nya… I want to go back to Modern City Tochigi already, nya… I hate this world, nya… Ririka can’t take it anymore, nya…"

Just a short while ago, she’d been cheering about how she could laze around and play all day. This was quite the emotional drop. What happened?

"Hey, you okay? I need some help, so maybe don’t start drinking in the middle of the day."

"…Who, nya…? Huh, nya? ‘Exposed Girl’… you’re that pervy old guy from before, nya… so that’s what was inside the armor, nya… I thought it’d be some dumb, busty, squishy avatar with big curves, nya. You’re surprisingly normal, nya."

As the rude cat ears said something rude, I heard a voice by my ear.

It was Erika’s voice, transmitted through bone conduction from the suit so no one else could hear.

“Master, requesting assistance from this low-intelligence native lifeform is not recommended.”

"Yeah, but I don’t have any other leads… I’ll hear her out a bit, and if it seems useless, I’ll try somewhere else."

"What’s that, nya? You had another account, nya? But I don’t think you can switch, nya."

"No, that’s not it. Never mind… more importantly, you look really depressed. Did something happen?"

"…The toilet, nya… no, not that kind of toilet, nya. A hole, nya. And there was no toilet paper, nya… some filthy cloth, nya… shared, nya… impossible, nya… I touched it, nya…"

"Ah, well, they say toilets were unsanitary in medieval Europe too. But having a toilet at all is better than just relieving yourself wherever."

"It’s not better at all, nya! And why do I even need to pee when I’m a character inside a game, nya!? I’ve never gotten a ‘you need to pee’ status in a game, nya! I’ve never seen an animation where you take off your underwear, pee, wipe, and put it back on! It was just pee this time, so fine, but what if I need to do the other one, huh!? Nya!"

"Uh… yeah. That is strange."

"…Nya, come to think of it, you went to pee too, right, nya? You did it with that body, nya?"

"Yeah, I just handled it somehow."

"That’s the worst, nya."

"But apparently ancient Rome and the Inca Empire had flush toilets, so if we look around, there might be a decent one somewhere."

"Don’t talk about it like it’s a rare item hunt, nya."

“Master, this conversation is not progressing. Please move away from the topic of urination. Alternatively, move away from that low-intelligence native lifeform.”

Erika was pushing me along.

"Let’s put the pee talk aside. Like I said earlier, I hardly know anything about this game, so could you give me a simple explanation? The basic setup, the situation—whatever."

"Mm, nya… right, you were a beginner, nya. The basic setting is a pretty standard sword-and-magic fantasy, nya. There are three countries on the continent, nya. Besides humans, there are elves and dwarves and such, nya. Ririka is a Cait Sith, a race added along with the Cu Sith in version 2.35, nya. There are lots of jobs, but basically they’re variations on warriors and mages, nya. The main story is that all the races work together, receive the blessing of the spirits, and stop the revival of the evil god, nya. Otherwise, you just take quests and explore, nya."

"Yeah, that’s… not very distinctive."

"The selling point is that the characters are cute, nya. Rather than extra lore, the standard way to play was to dress up cute characters and show them off, nya. If you had rare outfits, you were popular, nya. Lots of people used it as a chat tool too, nya."

"That sounds about right. So did you figure anything out about the current situation?"

"Ririka was too busy looking for a toilet, nya. I don’t know anything yet either, nya. But probably everyone’s like that, nya. Look over there, nya."

As she said that, the cat-eared maid pointed toward a group of male characters in black outfits gathered at the back of the tavern.

All of them were dressed head to toe in black, and now that the game world had become reality, they looked oddly cult-like, with an unsettling atmosphere.

"What about them? They’re weird, sure, but game characters turning real would look like that."

"They’re all ‘Ki◯to,’ nya. They’re arguing about who should change their name and who the real ‘Ki◯to’ is, nya."

Yikes—way too many Ki◯tos. Or rather, there probably wasn’t a real Ki◯to at all. Even if there were, he’d be in another world—or in Tokorozawa.

"By the way, you still can’t see your status, nya? That’s weird, nya. Maybe your HDD was broken, nya?"

"I really don’t want to think about that… but what does my status look like?"

"Mm, nya… just like I said earlier, nya. ‘Exposed Girl,’ human. Level 1 low-rank warrior, nya. Huh, nya? Your MP is zero, nya, but your HP, experience, and the status ailment field are all garbled text, nya. Guess your data really was corrupted, nya. My condolences, nya."

The experience points aside, having my HP bugged was a little scary. When I checked my vitals aboard the ship, everything had been normal. I should probably look into it properly later.

And I really wanted to do something about the name “Exposed Girl.”

"Can you change your name? If possible, I’d really like to."

"That’s what you get, nya. You can change it at the temple, but it costs 100 credits, nya. Do you even have credits, nya? They’re not gold—real-money currency, nya."

"I don’t think I have anything like that…"

"Huh, nya? Your status says you have 1,000 gold and 300 credits, nya. Enough for one gacha pull. It’s the starting bonus, nya."

"There was gacha…? Anyway, let’s go to the temple."

"Your status is messed up, so I’m worried it might not change properly, nya. I’ll come with you, nya. Ririka is way too kind, nya—be grateful, nya."

Her way of speaking got on my nerves, but I couldn’t see my status, and I didn’t even know where these credits were, so this was a big help.

Guided by the cat-eared maid, I headed for the temple.

"Haa… there really are a lot of adventurers visiting today."

Inside the temple, a woman dressed like a priestess—despite wearing an indecent outfit with the sides completely open and flashing bare skin—looked utterly fed up.

So to NPCs, we really were recognized as “adventurers.”

Despite being a temple, the large chapel-like hall had counters lined up along one side, where similarly indecently dressed priestesses were handling visitors. It was a bizarre sight.

"The NPCs are acting way too human, nya. Stop complaining and do your job, nya."

"In this world, I guess they’re legitimate residents too. Anyway, I’ll ask about the name change."

Saying that, I went to the counter where the bustiest priestess stood and spoke to her.

Through the side openings of her outfit, I couldn’t see anything resembling underwear. Was she not wearing any at all?

"I’d like to change my name."

"Another name change? There have been a lot today. Did something happen?"

"A lot of things, probably."

"I see… ‘Exposed Girl,’ that’s quite a name. I understand why you’d want to change it. If it were me, I couldn’t show my face in public. Your parents were terribly cruel."

I ended up being pitied by an NPC dressed one or two steps away from full exposure.

That name wasn’t my parents’ fault—I’d just picked it at random—but there was no point explaining that to an NPC who now lived as a resident of this world.

"Clarisse, please."

"Understood. The new name will be Clarisse—correct?"

The priestess placed her hand over a glossy black tablet on the counter and closed her eyes for a few seconds.

"The name change is now complete."

She opened her eyes and said so, but nothing seemed to have changed from my perspective.

I quietly checked with Erika.

"Erika, did anything about my status change?"

“No changes have been detected in Master’s body. Additionally, Master’s name has always been recognized as Clarisse. There is no record of a name such as ‘Exposed.’”

So Erika couldn’t detect any change either.

"Um, did my name really change? I don’t think I paid any credits."

"Credits…? No, the temple does not demand payment. We cannot fulfill requests from those lacking virtue, however."

I think I get it now. Real-money payment counts as virtue? What a terrible god.

I returned to the cat-eared maid and asked her.

"So? I can’t tell myself, but did my name change?"

"Yep, nya. It changed, and your credits are down to 200, nya… ‘Clarise’… Oh. I think I figured out the reference, nya. If that’s the case, you’re supposed to keep your eyes closed, nya."

"It wasn’t intentional. Just a coincidence."

Either way, I was glad I could change my name.

I wouldn’t have minded staring at the priestesses a little longer, but I could do that anytime—preferably when I was alone.

The cat ears and I left the temple.

"Hey! Isn’t that Milk-chan?! You made it to this world too?!"

As we were walking back toward the tavern to decide what to do next, a knight-like man in white armor called out to us.

"Who’s Milk-chan?"

"That’s Ririka’s character name, nya. ‘Cat Goddess Princess☆Milk-chan,’ nya."

"…You should’ve changed your name too."

"The service was ending, so I thought it was pointless to save it and spent everything on gacha instead, nya. More importantly, Ru◯an—what do you want, nya? We’re busy, nya."

"Haha, so cold, Milk-chan. But in a situation like this, shouldn’t we work together? Oh, and my name isn’t Luc◯an anymore—it’s Siegfried now! Call me Sieg! And you there, miss… Clarisse, right? A pleasure to meet you!"

He sure picked a name that was bound to overlap again. Luc◯an might have actually been rarer.

"Is this overly friendly guy someone you know?"

"He decided I was a fan of the same anime and started stalking me, nya. He’s a clingy hookup-chaser who keeps asking for offline meetups, so don’t engage with him, nya."

Now that this world was real, “hookups” didn’t mean much, but he was definitely not the type I wanted as a friend. Unfortunately, the clingy guy didn’t back off.

"Two girls alone can be dangerous, you know? I’ll protect you. I’m a level 80 knight, after all."

He was shorter than the cat ears.

"Luc◯an or Sieg, whatever—you should know Clarisse here is actually a pervy old man inside, nya. He even has a school swimsuit girl alarm set on his wristwatch, nya. A full-on creep, nya."

"Who you were on the inside doesn’t matter now that this world is real. She has a real, physical body, doesn’t she? If you treat her like a girl, she becomes a girl. That’s how it works."

This hookup-chaser was far deeper down the abyss than I’d expected.

Even the cat ears was visibly creeped out, but in the end, he followed us all the way to the tavern and forced his way into sitting at the same table.