Chapter 34: I’ve Got No Face Left to Match Everyone With…

"T-t-t-t-t—it’s flyinggg!? It’s really flying through the skyyyyy!!"

Peering out through the token window attached to the Dragoon transport craft, the former loli-granny—now officially disqualified from that title—the loli queen let out a shriek.

"Is this a magic ship!? Is it from the Aste Empire!? Or—don’t tell me—it’s from Granseal!? When did they even build something like this!? You’re not planning to use this thing to start a war on my country, are you!?"

"It’s none of those, and we have no intention of starting a war, so calm down."

I tried to soothe Queen Tilda, but the ex–loli-granny had completely lost her composure and reverted to nothing more than a panicked little girl. When she noticed the walking tank Crusader mounted on the Dragoon’s cargo deck, her eyes welled with tears and she began screaming even louder.

"What is that gigantic golem!? It’s bigger—and looks stronger—than even an ancient dwarf iron golem! Look at those hands! They’re practically human! If something like that goes on a rampage, we’ll be crushed flat!?"

"It won’t rampage or move on its own. It’s completely safe unless I or one of my companions operates it."

‘Master, the child is experiencing minor urinary incontinence. Please have her wear diapers or similarly high-absorption undergarments.’

"W-w-who was that!? What is this place!? What’s going to happen to meee!?"

Startled by Erika’s sudden voice, the queen finally lost all restraint and clung to Dias’s leg—and to Shogo’s as well, who had been looking around the cabin alongside him.

I briefly wondered whether Shogo minded that she’d wet herself, but considering his outfit was based on a homeless street fighter’s grimy gi, he probably didn’t care all that much.

"Hahaha, even I’m pretty shocked myself. If you suddenly showed something like this to people from this world, of course they’d be terrified. Still… it’s amazing. To think even an SF-style aircraft like this would become reality. Compared to this, my Hadoken and Shoryuken are downright cute."

"Man, what a wimp, freaking out over something this small. There were monsters this big down in the depths of the dungeon and the underground world, y’know."

Scarlet was still glued to Shogo as usual, but Shogo himself maintained a dignified composure. Maybe, true to his source material, he was consciously trying to stay stoic.

Dias, who had been touring the cabin with Shogo, let out an impressed whistle.

"Swords and magic in a fantasy world are nice and all, but seeing SF mechs actually exist like this is on a whole different level. I wanna show this to my brothers."

"Dom hasn’t seen it due to circumstances, but I did explain things to Rick. Still, if too many people find out we have stuff like this, there’s no telling what kind of trouble we’ll get dragged into, so I’d appreciate it if you kept it secret."

"Yeah. If you saved my brothers, I’ll do what you say. …That said, it was called WFU—War Fire Universe, right? You really used to play PvP in that? The balance was absolute trash."

"I thought PvP was garbage too, but if you didn’t play it, you couldn’t get materials to build warships. It was forced in when the publisher changed, so I figured it couldn’t be helped. And thanks to the FPS elements that were also tacked on, it’s actually useful in this world now. PvP sucks, but the single-player campaign is honestly really good."

"Huh? Maybe I’ll try it when I get back to my world… I used to grind multiplayer with my brothers in Call of Bottoms and Combat Field, though. If I’d known things would turn out like this, I should’ve played them in a separate window."

"Both of those are heavy games. Running them in another window would’ve been impossible."

"Hahaha, yeah, fair point."

As Dias and I got carried away talking about games, Ririka and Natsumi spoke up impatiently.

"Are you done yet, nya? I mean, it’s good we escaped from underground and got on a flying machine, but what are we doing next, nya? If what Queen Tilda said is true, freeing the warp gate at the Larentia Temple doesn’t sound easy, nya."

"Right. If everyone around there has been influenced by that so-called ‘wholesome ideology,’ storming the palace and dealing with that Yuta-mama—whatever she is, a delusional feminist or a professional protester—by force would just make things messier… Honestly, they’re worse than monsters. Monster parents who’d even follow you into another world."

They were right. This wasn’t a problem that could be solved with brute force or magic.

Our opponents genuinely believed they were in the right. If we crushed them by force, they’d retaliate with ten times the hatred—it was inevitable.

Sure, we had an SF space fleet, so losing wasn’t an issue. But the Larentia Kingdom would eventually be reduced to an empty ruin. That would completely defeat the purpose—and I had no interest in massacring people from an underdeveloped civilization just to boast about winning.

"I’ve thought about that too. For now, let’s head back to Taliya Village."

Since it was night, the Dragoon transport flew toward Taliya Village at a safe, unhurried speed that wouldn’t burden its passengers—including me.

Along the way, we had a modest meal using the preserved rations onboard, then spread blankets and sleeping bags across the cargo deck and slept together.

Everyone was pleased to find toilets and showers installed inside the craft, but when it came to food, they all agreed that the fantasy world’s cuisine on the ground was far superior.

That was understandable. Compared to freshly cooked local dishes, bland solid bars—whose original ingredients were impossible to identify, processed to last for years in space—were no contest.

Back when it was still a game, Sword Blaze Online offered all kinds of food—onigiri, curry rice, stew, tempura, tonkatsu, even sushi—completely ignoring era and worldbuilding, all justified by temporary stat boosts. By contrast, the tightly lore-focused developers of WFU seemed utterly indifferent when it came to food. That was pretty typical of overseas games.

Of course, once this world became reality, ingredients for things like sushi became impossible to obtain, so eating them here was no longer an option.

Come morning, we landed the Dragoon in the same forest where we’d first entered Larentian territory, then followed the animal trail along the river on foot, just like before.

"Ugh… this is depressing. I talked such a big game to Sapphire-chan, and now we’re going back to the village without accomplishing anything… I’ve got no face left to match everyone with…"

"It’s okay, nya. Ririka and the others will explain everything, nya. I’m sure everyone will match their faces—and their shells—together with you, nya."

As Scarlet slumped, the old man inside the cat ears made yet another completely unhinged attempt at encouragement, prompting Natsumi to snap back.

"No, no, Ririka-san, do you even understand what that means? Please don’t try to ‘match’ things like that."

"There are only girls among succubi, okay!? If not shells, what else are we supposed to match!?"

"Yuri is about emotional connection! Don’t just casually try to match weird body parts!"

"Don’t say it like that, nya. You’ll make Scar-chan sad, nya. I’m sure Shogo will Hadoken all the other succubi too, nya."

"That’s not okay! If everyone finds out how good Shogo-san’s Hadoken feels, they’ll all swarm him, and I won’t get Hadoken’d anymore!"

"Wh—!?"

As Shogo yelped at being forcibly dragged into the conversation, the loli queen—who had been glued to his leg—grabbed the hem of his gi and demanded answers.

"What is this Hadoken you speak of!? Shogo! Have you been doing such filthy things with this lewd succubus!?"

"N-no, that’s not it! Hadoken isn’t that kind of thing!"

"Then do this Hadoken to me as well!"

"No, no, no, that’s really not—besides, firing off Hadokens repeatedly is actually pretty tiring. If you overdo it, sometimes a red one comes out too…"

"Heheheh, a little kid like you couldn’t handle Shogo-san’s Hadoken anyway. Shogo-san’s Hadoken belongs to me alone."

"Don’t treat me like a child! I am a full-grown adult! I am the queen of this nation!"

Watching the noisy group ahead of us, Dias burst out laughing.

"Looks like the group’s gotten bigger—and louder. Well, I don’t mind it so much myself."

"Dias, you sure seem carefree considering what you went through, nya."

"My brothers say I joke around too much too. But hey, if taking things seriously won’t improve the situation, why not enjoy ourselves instead?"

"Is that how it is, nya? Still… Clarisse-nyan, what are you planning by coming back here at a time like this, nya? Do you have a plan, nya?"

"With the state of the whole country, opening a brothel is impossible anywhere. And the Adventurer Ban needs to be dealt with too. First, we need to make the people currently running the country change their policies. For that, I plan to borrow the power of the succubi."

As we walked and talked, we followed the animal trail and soon arrived at the Taliya Village logging site.

Today, there were no working orcs in sight.

"There’s a crowd at the village entrance, nya. Something might be happening, nya."

Just as Ririka said, a group of people had gathered near the gate in the fence that surrounded the cluster of village homes.

We hurried toward them.

"You can’t expect monsters and humans to live together, buhi! And in this country, it’s forbidden to dress like that in public, buhi! Orcs, goblins, succubi—get out of the village, buhi!"

"We’ve worked hard for this village, buhi, and finally we can live peacefully with everyone! You should go back to Godart City, buhi!"

At the entrance to the residential area, villagers and soldiers—who seemed to have come from the city—surrounded the arguing orcs, or perhaps humans who looked like orcs, shouting insults at each other.

Villagers and soldiers glared back and forth, the tension close to breaking.

The human who looked like an orc was, this time, properly dressed in noble-style trousers—the Count of Godart. As for the real orc… honestly, it was hard to tell, but it was probably their leader, Gomuro.

Ririka spotted a familiar face among the soldiers and spoke up.

It was the captain of the Godart city guard who had sent us on our journey.

"Why are that count and the orc arguing here, nya? Is the count causing trouble again, nya?"

"Hm? Ah, it’s you. You’re back from Larentia already? That was fast… No, this is official business as a lord. I was sent by orders from the royal capital to supervise the conduct of local villages. This village is sheltering orcs, goblins, and even succubi. If that isn’t dealt with, it sets a bad example for other villages. We can handle orcs and goblins, but not succubi, so we brought out the count to negotiate—but… as you can see."

Even for a lord, trusting that count to handle negotiations seemed like a massive misjudgment. Doubting the judgment of the guard captain—who had previously seemed like a reasonable person—we parted the soldiers and stepped into the center of the crowd.

"Stop right there, nya! The royal capital’s orders are wrong, nya! And here is the proof—a queen who escaped from the capital is right here, nya!"

"Yes, I am Tilda, Queen of Larentia! Due to my poor judgment, I have caused trouble for everyone, and I am deeply sorry! There is no reason for you to fight! Lower your weapons, both sides!"

The sudden appearance of a little girl left most villagers and soldiers staring blankly, as if to say, “What is this brat talking about?” But when the count hastily dropped to his knees and bowed, the soldiers followed suit.

"Y-your Majesty! Why have you come to such a remote village, buhi!? I was merely fulfilling my duties as a lord, buhi!"

"Indeed. Count of Godart, I have heard from adventurers like Shogo here about your abuses while overseeing village conduct. Your misdeeds would normally be judged in the royal capital’s court, but that is impossible now. Cooperate with me, and I will ensure lenient treatment."

"H-hahh, y-yes, buhi! I will do as Your Majesty commands, buhi! Please forgive me, buhi!"

The count’s excessive flattery made Gomuro, the orc standing beside the villagers, sigh in exasperation.

"You were so arrogant just a moment ago. Now look at you—pathetic, buhi. I thought humans could be impressive, but I was mistaken, buhi. By the way, Ririka, you’re back already, buhi? And you even brought the queen? What happened, buhi?"

"That’s not something we should discuss here, nya. We’ll talk at the village chief’s house. Please bring representatives of the succubi and goblins as well, nya."

And so, we headed to the village chief’s house to discuss our plans moving forward.