Chapter 18: And Thus, I Make a Mistake

The second day of the field trip passed without incident. If I were to point out anything of note, it would be the fact that I ran into Hikigaya-kun’s group at Ryoan-ji Temple.

It was something I had expected, so I wasn't particularly shaken.

However, the same could not be said for my classmates, who apparently believed that Hikigaya-kun and I were having a "secret tryst." Simply because I had casually gone over to strike up a conversation with him, they began whispering among themselves. The moment I returned to their side, they bombarded me with questions with terrifying intensity.

"So, how long have you two actually been dating?"

"What do you even like about him?"

"How did it start? You guys are in different classes, right?"

"Um... just how far have you two... gone?"

And so it went. No matter how much I denied it, they didn't flinch. I was completely overwhelmed by them from start to finish.

Still, I suppose everything else went smoothly. While the first day of sightseeing in Kyoto left me with nothing but a feeling of exhaustion, I actually managed to enjoy the second day.

Then came the third day of the school trip—the day of free group activities—and my primary concern.

Having canceled the breakfast reserved by the school, I was gracefully sipping coffee in a tidy little cafe tucked away in a corner of Kyoto. Inside the shop, the morning crowd was still sparse, with a few empty seats visible here and there.

The reason I was sitting here, drinking coffee I don't even particularly like, was simple: I was waiting for Yuigahama-san to bring Hikigaya-kun here. We, the three members of the Service Club, had promised to spend this third day of the trip together.

It was precisely because I was waiting for the two of them that I was drinking this pitch-black coffee. For some reason, I had the vague, inexplicable thought that I would look more "adult" if I were seen waiting with a cup of black coffee.

That being said...

"...It really is bitter."

I grabbed three containers of gum syrup from the table and poured them into the dark liquid one by one. For the finishing touch, I added a stick of sugar. Perfect. As I brought the cup to my lips, sweetness immediately bloomed across my palate.

"Ah, Yukinon! Found you!"

As I was enjoying my coffee—which had lost every trace of its original bitterness—I heard Yuigahama-san’s voice from a distance. I looked up to see her waving energetically, with Hikigaya-kun walking behind her, his eyes looking as rotten and sleepy as ever.

"You're late," I said, while quickly sweeping the empty syrup and sugar wrappers to the edge of the table. I then drained the rest of the cup in one gulp.

...Fine. The next coffee I order, I'll drink it black.

"What? Why is Yukinoshita here? Why was I even brought here?"

It seemed Hikigaya-kun still hadn't grasped the situation. Even his dark, sunken eyes looked somewhat drowsy.

"We are having 'Morning' here, Hikigaya-kun."

"Eh? What’s with that literary phrasing? You’re taking the morning? As in, getting rid of it so there’s only lunch and dinner? Man, that sounds amazing."

Hikigaya-kun started spouting nonsense, likely due to having just woken up.

"Just sit down already, Hikki. I'm going to order for us," Yuigahama-san said, pushing his shoulder as if telling him to save the sleep-talking for when he’s actually asleep. She didn't look tired at all.

Before long, breakfast for the three of us arrived. A Western-style breakfast, beautifully arranged on plates. After we said "Itadakimasu" in unison, the Service Club’s slightly late morning began.

"I'll explain our itinerary for today once more."

Fushimi Inari-taisha. Tofuku-ji. Arashiyama. And, of course, the one we mustn't forget: Kitano Tenmangu. As I explained each sightseeing spot, Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san offered various "Heh"s and "Hoh"s in agreement.

"I want to see them all, but since they're so famous, the crowds are going to be a nightmare... It's depressing just thinking about it."

"Well, Yukinon doesn't have much stamina, after all."

I inwardly agreed with Yuigahama-san’s casual remark. She was right. I wondered if I would even make it to our final destination, Arashiyama, in one piece.

By the time I had overwritten the lingering bitterness of the coffee with orange juice, it seemed the two of them had finished their meal.

"Well then, shall we head out on our Service Club field trip?"

As I stood up and spoke, my voice sounded much more cheerful than I intended, making me feel a bit embarrassed.

We passed through the famous Thousand Torii Gates of Fushimi Inari. The sight of the countless vermillion gates lined up was spectacular.

However, the path was quite grueling. It was an uphill climb, which was exhausting enough, but to make matters worse, the place was swarming with people. It felt like the world was trying to kill me.

Shortly after arriving at the top, I slumped onto a bench overlooking the panoramic view of Kyoto, completely drained.

"You alright?"

"Yes... I think I can make the trek back down after a short rest."

I answered Hikigaya-kun, who had asked in his usual blunt manner, and turned my gaze back to the stunning view. On this clear day, it felt like I could see forever across Kyoto. And knowing that Hikigaya-kun was looking at the same scenery right now made me feel a little happy.

"The crowd here was nightmare, but our next stop, Tofuku-ji, is famous for its autumn leaves. I expect the crowd there might be even worse than this."

"Why did you plan a trip like this when you hate crowds so much? Is this some kind of slow-motion suicide?"

"...Since we're here, I wanted us to enjoy ourselves."

"...I see."

Little else was said. Until Yuigahama-san returned, Hikigaya-kun and I continued to gaze at the same scenery together.

After descending Fushimi Inari, we headed to Tofuku-ji. Though the peak of the autumn colors had passed, the crowd was exactly as large as I had feared.

While inwardly fed up with the masses, I looked at the brightly colored trees with the other two. Combined with the ancient aesthetic of the temple, it was a view that seemed perfectly made for a photograph.

"Oh, look, it's Hina and the others."

Yuigahama-san pointed toward a group taking photos against the backdrop of the autumn leaves. It was the quartet of Tobe-kun, Ebina-san, Hayama-kun, and Miura-san.

"Don't Tobe-chi and Hina look like they're getting along?"

"...No, looks the same as always to me," Hikigaya-kun muttered.

I agreed with him. They seemed to be on good terms, but because they were with the same people as usual, it seemed difficult for any "special" atmosphere to develop.

As we watched, the other group eventually noticed us. Yuigahama-san waved vigorously, and the four of them walked over.

"Yo."

With a short greeting, the groups merged. Hayama-kun and Yuigahama-san began a conversation.

Suddenly, I felt a gaze. I looked over to see Miura-san watching me with eyes like a wolf about to spring on its prey. ...Come to think of it, I hadn't seen her since the Summer Camp. Was she still holding a grudge over the fact that I had made her cry back then?

"..."

I had no particular ill will toward her, but as Yukino Yukinoshita, I couldn't allow myself to be looked down upon. I immediately shot back a sharp glare. A cold atmosphere began to drift between Miura-san and me.

Just as my pointless staring contest with Miura-san began, I caught the faint sound of a voice.

"Hikitani-kun."

It was an oddly pitched, unnaturally bright voice. Yet, strangely, it lacked any presence, as if it were about to dissolve into the air.

The owner of the voice, Ebina-san, turned her back and began walking into the crowd. And Hikigaya-kun, as if following that back, vanished into the sea of people. It was a movement so devoid of presence that one would have missed it unless they were paying the closest attention.

"..."

For a moment, I hesitated. Ebina-san was surely confirming the "Request" with Hikigaya-kun right now. For instance, if I were to go and interfere now, would Hikigaya-kun’s actions change?

I glanced at Hayama-kun. He, too, wished for Tobe-kun not to move their relationship forward. That was why he had been indirectly preventing Tobe-kun from being alone with Ebina-san. I looked at Miura-san, who was still glaring at me. Despite her harsh words and behavior, she cherished her friends and did not want their current relationship to break.

"...No. I decided I would watch over them."

I whispered softly, so no one would hear. I would see my decision through. I would respect Hikigaya-kun’s decision.

I shifted my gaze away from Miura-san and looked at the autumn leaves. A sudden gust of wind filled my vision with vibrant, falling leaves. They were vivid and beautiful, yet they seemed to represent the fleeting nature of things.

In Arashiyama at night, there was almost no sign of other people. Deep in the mountains, away from the hustle and bustle, the only sound was the quiet rustling of bamboo leaves.

The mountain was pitch black, but there were two sources of light. One was the illuminated bamboo grove; the pale blue bamboo glowing faintly felt almost ethereal. The other was the lanterns, which cast a warm glow in contrast to the cool light of the bamboo. These beautiful lanterns were placed at regular intervals, lighting the path at our feet.

This otherworldly atmosphere was the perfect setting for a special event. It seemed Tobe-kun had indeed chosen this as the place for his confession.

"...Then, give it your all until the very end, Tobe."

After hearing the earnest feelings of a nervous Tobe-kun, Hikigaya-kun encouraged him with those words. Having been cheered on by Yamato-kun, Ooka-kun, and Hayama-kun as well, Tobe-kun tightened his expression with resolve and began walking toward Ebina-san, who had slowly appeared.

"...I hope it goes well, Yukinon."

"...Yes."

Even though I didn't believe for a second that it would succeed, I gave that reply and watched over them.

As Ebina-san stood in the nighttime grove, her face was devoid of any expression. To me, she looked like a defendant waiting to hear a verdict. Tobe-kun, by contrast, looked incredibly tense. However, there was a certain heat in his eyes that conveyed the sincerity of his feelings.

Finally, having steeled his resolve, Tobe-kun opened his mouth.

"Um, hey..."

"Yeah..."

The awkward exchange was filled with a tension that was a complete departure from their usual lively selves.

"I... you see..."

Tobe-kun cut his words short, hesitating.

The rustling of the bamboo leaves felt agonizingly loud. A cold wind blowing through the grove brushed against my neck.

Then, just as the tension between Tobe-kun and Ebina-san reached its absolute limit—

"I've liked you for a long time. Please go out with me."

That voice came neither from Tobe-kun nor from Ebina-san. It came from the mouth of Hikigaya-kun, who had suddenly appeared before them.

Looking back, I understand it clearly now.

What sprouted in my chest upon seeing that wasn't understanding, disappointment, or admiration.

It was... jealousy.

"—!"

A soundless gasp escaped my lips. At the time, I didn't understand the true nature of that emotion. —If only I had known then, things wouldn't have ended up like that.

After speaking with Hayama-kun about something, Hikigaya-kun slowly walked back toward us. His back looked even more hunched than usual.

To him, I said this:

"I hate the way you do things."

I heard Yuigahama-san catch her breath beside me. But I couldn't stop.

"I can't put it into words well, but I hate it."

No, that's wrong. I didn't hate it; it just hurt.

The fact that Hikigaya-kun was confessing to someone else. The idea of Hikigaya-kun becoming someone else's—I hated that more than I could bear. Now that I am calm, I can analyze it that way.

But back then, in that place, I was simply bewildered by my own emotions.

"I'm going back ahead."

And so, my words were nothing more than me taking my frustration out on him.

In that moment, I was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a girl.