Chapter 21: Deep in Thought, Hachiman Hikigaya Ponders

Has it been about a week since I last spoke with Hikigaya-kun? It feels as though the days have grown longer. A heavy, overcast mood has settled over me, making time crawl by at a sluggish pace.

I had made the decision to run for Student Council President and leave the Service Club, but I didn’t tell Yuigahama-san. I knew instinctively that she would try to stop me. Moreover, if I told her, she might even try to run for the position herself.

What I want is for Yuigahama-san and Hikigaya-kun to remain in the Service Club together.

"Yukinon, about the President thing... Yumiko was a no-go after all."

"...I see. We’re truly running out of candidates, aren't we?"

I replied while feeling a twinge of guilt for making Yuigahama-san engage in what I knew would be a futile effort.

The list of viable candidates was thinning out. If there was any hope left, it would be Hayama-kun, who had agreed to meet with us today.

"But I’m glad Hayato-kun agreed to talk. If it's Hayato-kun, he definitely wouldn't lose to Isshiki-san, even in a runoff election!"

"You're right."

However, I doubted Hayama-kun actually intended to negotiate. I knew the real reason why he had called the two of us out.

"...It’s almost time. Shall we go?"

"Yeah."

The cafe Hayama-kun specified was a bit far from the school. We packed our bags and prepared to leave.

"...Sigh."

"...What's wrong, Yukinon? Giving a big sigh like that. Are you tired?"

"No, it's nothing. Thank you."

I was simply becoming depressed, imagining the scene I was about to witness—and the emotions I knew I would feel in response.

By evening, students in school uniforms like us were a common sight. The city was enveloped in the bustling clamor of energetic youths.

"Umm... Oh, over there!"

Knowing full well that I have no sense of direction, I left the navigating to Yuigahama-san. I felt a sense of personal growth since the time I went to the shopping mall with Hikigaya-kun.

We entered the cafe, which had a calm atmosphere, and immediately spotted Hayama-kun with his conspicuous good looks. But there was someone else beside him.

"...Eh? Why is Hikki here?"

Yuigahama-san murmured, sounding stunned. Sitting with Hayama-kun was Hikigaya-kun—and two female students I didn't recognize.

—Ah. That same sensation from that night in Arashiyama welled up within me. A loathing toward the fact that Hikigaya-kun was with other girls. An ugly, possessive desire that hated the idea of someone taking him away. Jealousy.

It drifted through my heart like a murky fog, leaving me in a state of profound discomfort.

"...So you've come."

"...Why are they here...?"

There was Hayama-kun, his expression suppressed, and Hikigaya-kun, looking surprised.

In the middle of what appeared to be a double date, Hayama-kun spoke up with dignity toward the two girls who had been mocking Hikigaya-kun at every turn.

"As you can see, Hikigaya is close with people far more wonderful than you. I’d appreciate it if you stopped badmouthing him based on superficial impressions."

It was a rejection of others quite unlike the usual Hayama-kun.

The two girls, who had surely been enjoying their date with him, looked shocked—likely never expecting such words from the usually mild-mannered Hayato. They left the scene immediately. All that remained were Hayama-kun and the three members of the Service Club.

"I was told we were meeting to discuss the election."

I was surprised myself by how much colder my voice sounded than intended. Hayama-kun’s eyes widened slightly at my words.

"Wait, you're talking to Hayama about the Student Council election?"

Hikigaya-kun, who apparently hadn't grasped the situation, asked for clarification.

"Yeah. Um, today we were supposed to talk to Hayato-kun about him potentially taking the President position, and he told us to meet him here, but..."

Yuigahama-san explained flusteredly. Hayama-kun remained silent.

Just then, a voice belonging to someone other than the four of us rang out.

"Hmm, so that's how it is."

"...Nee-san."

Sitting at a table slightly apart from us, watching the scene, was Yukinoshita Haruno. With that same unreadable expression as always, my sister approached us.

Seeing her, I felt an indescribable sense of unease.

...It’s fine. Even if she tries to provoke me about whether I’ll become the President or not, it doesn't matter to me anymore—I've already made my decision. I have nothing to fear.

However, my sister’s words went far beyond my expectations.

"You've started making the face of a girl in love lately, haven't you, Yukino-chan?"

"—!"

There was no way I could misinterpret the meaning behind those words. My sister saw right through me—she knew exactly how jealous I had felt. With a smile that felt uncharacteristically frivolous, she continued. Right in front of Hikigaya-kun.

"But don't you think it’s better to be honest with your own feelings?"

"—This has nothing to do with you, Nee-san!"

"Hehe, your voice is louder than usual."

She chuckled as if truly amused. It was common for her to tease me, but this was the first time my heart had been shaken so violently.

"...If we cannot have a productive discussion, then I have no business here. I’m going home."

I didn't want to hear another word. I turned on my heel to leave the shop. I couldn't bear to look at Hikigaya-kun’s face right now. As I left, I could hear the faint sound of my sister and Hikigaya-kun exchanging words.

After finishing an incredibly long day, I slumped onto the living room sofa the moment I got home. If I closed my eyes now, I’d probably fall into a pleasant sleep.

Instead, I shifted my weight and straightened my posture. There were still things I needed to think about. Keeping my back straight, I closed my eyes.

Whenever I close my eyes, I can focus on my thoughts. Being able to immerse oneself in reflection without talking to anyone is a loner's greatest strength.

Because I've spent more time alone than anyone else, I’ve thought about more things than anyone else. The definition of friendship. The true intent behind classic literature. Philosophical inquiries.

And, of course, about the few acquaintances I actually have.

At the destination of today’s bizarre outing—the cafe—Haruno-san had thrown provocative words at Yukinoshita, but she had also left me with a cryptic parting gift.

『Please... whatever you do, don't abandon Yukino-chan.』

It lacked her usual air of casual superiority; there was a sincere resonance to it. ...Though, the scary thing about Yukinoshita Haruno is that even that sincerity could be an act.

Regardless, for even Haruno-san to say something like that, it meant the current Yukinoshita must look incredibly unstable.

If that's the case, I have to re-analyze Yukinoshita Yukino. This girl I’ve had a "not-so-shallow" relationship with for the past six months.

Yukinoshita Yukino is a strange human being. When I first saw her, I thought she was a girl of almost ridiculous beauty. Refined features, straight black hair. Seeing her reading a book alone back then, I thought she looked like a painting.

When we actually talked, I thought she was a nasty person with an incredibly foul mouth. Her gaze was sharp enough to pierce right through me, and whenever she opened her mouth, it was nothing but insults launched from an unnecessarily large vocabulary. I thought her personality was just as bad as her looks were good.

But as we talked more, I realized there was more to her. That refined behavior befitting her appearance... if you looked closely, it sometimes seemed like she was playing a part. A sense of dissonance, as if she were covering herself in a thin outer shell. But I understood one thing clearly: she was desperately trying to be her ideal self.

Getting deeper involved, I found she was acting a part far more than I had imagined. I was surprised by her choice of pronouns, but when she referred to herself as "Boku," she was far more expressive—and above all, she looked like she was having fun.

—So, what is a girl like her worrying about now? What does she need? I recall Yukinoshita Yukino’s declaration.

『—I will become the Student Council President.』

I didn't have a clue why she said that. But my intuition whispered that she was forcing herself. Because when she was in the Service Club, she seemed so natural, so happy.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

—Since I don't know, I decided to ask the one person who might.

Yuigahama-san and I always had lunch in the clubroom. This lunch meeting had continued ever since our friendship began, persisting even after the atmosphere within the club had started to sour.

"Yukinon, it looks like Hayato-kun is a no-go too. ...What should we do?"

Setting down her chopsticks, Yuigahama-san turned toward me and asked. We were finally running out of options in our search for a candidate. I suppose it’s time I told her.

"...Yuigahama-san, I—"

Just as I started to speak, the door opened without warning. Standing there was Hikigaya-kun, whom we hadn't seen in the clubroom much lately.

I caught my breath slightly. In Hikigaya-kun’s eyes, I saw a light I had never seen before. With a dignified air, he questioned me.

"Yukinoshita. Do you still have no intention of rescinding your decision to become Student Council President?"

"...Eh? Yukinon is becoming the President?"

"...You hadn't told her yet?"

Hikigaya-kun looked surprised by Yuigahama-san's stunned exclamation.

That's right. I kept putting off telling her, and I’ve ended up coming this far.

"Yes. I had intended to discuss it with you."

Knowing it was a mere sophistry even as I said it, my voice grew small. Yuigahama-san’s gaze became stern.

"But... then what about the club...?"

"I’m leaving the club."

"No way..."

Yuigahama-san whispered, her face filled with disbelief. I felt the guilt, but there were things I had to say now.

"Yuigahama-san, this is my personal decision, and I don't have a single regret. Since we can't find another suitable candidate, I believe me becoming President is the solution that settles things most smoothly. So, there’s no need for you to worry yourself over it."

So, there’s no need for you to try and become President yourself. I swallowed those words.

Hikigaya-kun, who had been watching us with a sharp gaze, asked as if to confirm:

"Is that truly your will, Yukinoshita?"

"...Yes. No one told me to; I decided it myself. So, there’s nothing for you or the others to do."

I forced my gaze up to meet his and spoke clearly.

"Yukinoshita..."

"—That’s enough. I’ve finished eating, so I’m going back to class."

I announced loudly to cut off whatever he was about to say. I briskly packed up my lunch and headed for the door.

"You can leave the door unlocked."

I tossed the words over my shoulder without looking back and walked trudgingly down the hallway toward my classroom.

"Yuigahama."

In the classroom where the other girl had disappeared, the two remained in conversation.

"Yeah."

"Do you think everything Yukinoshita said was what she truly felt?"

"No. But Yukinon probably won't admit that."

"Yuigahama."

"What is it?"

"Will you... help me?"

Next: The Final Episode