Chapter 4: Yukino Yukinoshita is Inevitably Directionally Challenged

The Service Club room lacked the usual boisterousness of late. Inside the room, illuminated by the fading afternoon sun, only the lonely sound of Hikigaya-kun and I turning pages echoed through the air. Yuigahama-san hadn’t stepped foot in the club since the day of the workplace visit.

...It’s probably time I asked. Closing my paperback with a purposeful thud, I made a bit more noise than necessary. Hikigaya-kun looked up and met my eyes.

“...It seems Yuigahama-san isn't coming today either.”

“Yeah. She probably has some other business to attend to.”

Hikigaya-kun averted his gaze awkwardly. His demeanor practically screamed that he knew something.

“...Hikigaya-kun, did something happen between you and Yuigahama-san?”

“Something? No, nothing worth mentioning.”

He was reluctant to talk. Seeing him like that made me hesitate to push further. Originally, the conversations between Hikigaya-kun and me rarely delved into personal matters. Family structures, hobbies—strangely, those topics never really came up.

I suppose I felt a certain comfort in that distance—not too close, yet not too far. But now, I was going to step across that line. Swallowing hard, I carefully spun my words.

“Hikigaya-kun, I don't know what I can do, but would you mind telling me what happened? Just as a trial?”

I spoke while staring straight into his deep, dark eyes. After a moment, he let out a small sigh and opened his mouth.

“No, it’s really not a big deal. —It’s just, I realized that my relationship with her started the wrong way, and I simply tried to end it.”

“...That’s a vague way of putting it.”

In truth, I knew everything. I knew the reason he rejected her kindness, and I knew the cause behind it all. Knowing all that, I was surely responsible for playing a part in constructing that twisted relationship. That’s why I had to step in, if only a little.

“Hikigaya-kun, the time we’ve spent here since Yuigahama-san joined the Service Club... it seems I’ve grown quite fond of it.”

At first, it was simply the excitement of seeing a story I loved unfold before my eyes. But as I spent time here, that feeling gradually shifted. From admiration to familiarity. From a story to reality.

I didn't want to lose this space. That desire had already surpassed concerns about "narrative consistency" or anything of the sort. I wanted the Service Club where Yuigahama-san was there, and Hikigaya-kun was there.

As I recalled the days of the past two months, the words flowed out of me with strange ease.

“So, Hikigaya-kun. —Would you go out with me?”

Later that day, at home.

I took off my uniform and hung it on a hanger. For me, it was like shedding the outer skin known as "Yukino Yukinoshita." Once I return home after school and take off the uniform, I am no longer Yukino Yukinoshita. It was a form of self-suggestion to relax my strained spirit.

After changing into loungewear, I dove onto the bed. With a soft whump, I collapsed face-down.

Seizing the moment, I screamed.

“WROOOOONG! Why did I say something that sounded like a confession?!”

That wasn’t my intention at all! I just wanted him to go shopping with me. I just wanted him to help me buy a birthday present for Yuigahama-san so it could be a catalyst for them to make up.

How on earth did that turn into “Would you go out with me?!”

“Uuuuugh!”

I groaned, burying my face in the bed. Just remembering it made my face burn. I recalled Hikigaya-kun’s expression after I uttered those confession-like words. At first, he had a blank, stunned look, as if he didn't understand what had been said. Then, as comprehension dawned, his face turned bright red and he began to panic. ...This is bad. My face is getting hot again just thinking about it.

By the way, after that, once I regained my senses, I frantically explained the intent behind my statement. That Yuigahama-san’s birthday was coming up. That I wanted him to go shopping with me to pick out a gift. Hikigaya-kun eventually understood, but his face remained a light shade of red.

“Phew...”

...Let’s calm down. One deep breath. I am Yukino Yukinoshita. The unflappable cool beauty. Or I should be. I reapplied the self-suggestion I had just stripped off.

As I regained my composure, my thoughts drifted to what came next.

“But in the end, I’m still going out with Hikigaya-kun... I mean, that’s basically a date!”

Gah. I should have realized, but thinking about it again makes it feel like a huge deal. What should I do?

“I believe in the original work, she wore twin-tails...”

Standing before the mirror, I gathered my hair in my hands. High twin-tails.

“No, this is embarrassing! This hairstyle is way too embarrassing!”

It wasn’t that it didn't suit me. Rather, the "male" part of me was whispering that the gap between my usual look and this slightly more childish appearance was actually quite good. But it felt shameful. Is it because I’m a high schooler now and the idea that twin-tails are "too much" has been ingrained in me?

“Right, I have to pick out clothes too.”

Even though the promise was for the weekend, I began preparing busily. In my chest, there was a mysterious sense of elation.

The weekend is a precious time of rest for me, where I don’t need to "play" Yukino Yukinoshita. I relax at home. That way, I don’t have to show myself to anyone, which is a huge relief.

But that doesn't apply when I go out. As long as I am out in public, I must behave like Yukino Yukinoshita. This beauty of mine draws eyes whether I like it or not.

Having bedhead like my slovenly self from my previous life is out of the question. I must groom myself and select clothes worthy of this appearance. Furthermore, I have to remain conscious of people's gazes the entire time I’m out. It’s quite a lot of effort. Honestly, I’m usually reluctant to go out on my days off.

Still, today of all days, I had a place to be.

The shopping mall on a Sunday afternoon was crowded with people. I managed to push through the throng toward the meeting spot. I felt like I’d be exhausted before I even started shopping.

After wandering around the mall for a bit, I finally spotted a distinctive cowlick (ahoge) peeking through the crowd.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Hikigaya-kun. ...Ah, and you must be the sister you mentioned. I’m sorry for dragging you along on your day off. I look forward to today.”

Beside Hikigaya-kun stood a girl who looked to be in middle school. Bright eyes. A wide, prominent forehead. A cheerful aura. And on top of her head, a cowlick stood straight up, defying gravity.

Ah, it’s Komachi Hikigaya. Meeting her—someone who used to be on the other side of a screen—filled me with a sense of excitement. The girl in front of me gave an energetic greeting.

“Yes! I’m Komachi Hikigaya. Nice to meet you! ...Onii-chan, you knew such a beautiful person? Not bad!”

“No, we just happen to know each other. Besides, I get insulted every time we meet, so it’s nothing like what you’re hoping for.”

“Hikigaya-kun, stop telling people you've just met that I am a woman of poor character. It only looks that way to you because your eyes are rotten.”

“See? She started with the insults immediately! You see that, Komachi? She’s like a rose. If you get too close thinking she’s pretty, you’ll get stuck by sharp thorns. Watch out.”

Pretty...

“Yukino-san, please don’t mind what my rotten-eyed brother says!”

“Komachi, you too?!”

...They seem to get along well. I’m a little jealous.

“Well then, shall we head off? Products for young women should be this way.”

“...Yukinoshita, that’s the restroom.”

I stopped in my tracks as Hikigaya-kun pointed it out awkwardly. ...It can’t be helped! This body was horribly directionally challenged to begin with. It’s not my fault!

“Hikigaya-kun, do you have any idea what you’re going to buy?”

We entered a variety store for young women, decorated in bright colors. I spoke to Hikigaya-kun while picking up some items. ...Most of these things have uses I don't even understand. In truth, I’ve already decided what I’m buying, so I’m really just waiting on him.

“No, I haven't a clue about gifts. It’s not like I’ve ever really received any. That’s why I wanted to ask Komachi, but where did she go...?”

“Well, your sister seems much more reliable than you, so I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“That was one remark too many. ...Guess we’ll just have to look the two of us.”

My hand, which had been browsing the products, stopped dead. The two of us. Hearing those words made me acutely aware that it was just Hikigaya-kun and me. This is bad. Now that I’m conscious of it, my body is getting hot again. I need to focus on something else.

“Hikigaya-kun, do you know what Yuigahama-san likes?”

“...No, come to think of it, I don’t know much. ...Well, I know she wants to get better at cooking.”

“I see. Then let’s look at some cooking-related items.”

I spun around to avoid him seeing my face and left the variety store. As I headed quickly toward another shop, Hikigaya-kun followed in a hurry.

...I’m starting to feel a bit embarrassed about walking so close to him with just the two of us.

"Yukinoshita! That’s the wrong way! That’s the restroom again!"

“......”

Ah, seriously, this body!