Chapter 3: The Sexual Distortions Instilled from Childhood are Irreversible

The Sexual Distortions Instilled from Childhood are Irreversible

By the way, I love receiving milk from Mama. It's not because I'm squealing because I feel like a baby or because I enjoy playing baby games, but simply because I love the feeling of sharing a life. It's the feeling that a life, a human life, is being used for something incomplete like me.

The fact that Mama's time and life are being consumed to create me.

That's what I find so irresistibly precious.

The sense of immorality of exploiting a life that belongs to no one.

The guilt of seeing her smile happily while using her life on me.

The sense of superiority that I'm monopolizing that love, instead of the innocent life that should have received it.

I loved that moment when all these negative emotions mixed together, creating a dark, sweet tingle. It's why being a simple baby girl would be 100 times better.

The reason I suddenly revealed this fetish isn't because I'm currently breastfeeding... but because I have a spoiled brat right in front of me who still can't wean.

Me?

I stopped before I turned one.

Mama seemed a little lonely, but I want to be able to eat on my own soon. I don't want to continue to burden her in the future.

Unlike me, who disciplined myself with an iron will, natural-born babies with no self-control at all still love breast milk.

Well, if you think about it, it's not that easy to stop drinking it after drinking it since birth. I don't know.

However, the baby in front of me... well, he's almost three years old, so it's more accurate to say he's a toddler. My neighbor's toddler, Tomohiro, seems like he's still a long way from weaning, and I heard that the neighbor mother is worried.

"Here, Hiro-chan!"

So, I, the unknown person, decided to step in and offer some sweets to Tomohiro.

Any curious child would surely take a bite if they were given the sweets I'd been smilingly eating in front of them.

That's what I thought when I shared some with him, but perhaps Tomohiro was timid, because he didn't try the sweets I gave him. If you think about it, a curious child would have made it clear they wanted them before I gave them to them. That didn't mean he was a child with little curiosity, and my actions were off the mark.

Damn, Hikari-chan, you're so careless.

Realizing the failure of my plan and even understanding its validity, I had no choice but to force him to eat them.

Achieving my goal solves all problems, and my goal was to teach Tomohiro the joy of food.

Forcing a child to eat something they don't want to eat is something no sensible adult would ever do, but unfortunately, I'm a toddler. Even if Tomohiro started crying, adults probably wouldn't mind.

Being a dirty toddler who'd thought this far, I stuffed a soft rice cracker into Tomohiro's mouth. It might taste a little too adult for a baby who'd only ever drunk their mom's milk up until then, but as long as it wasn't dad's milk, there was still hope. Even among adults, it was a child's taste. Such a thought crossed my mind, but of course, my dad isn't that evil. So, I'm justifying shoving solid food in a toddler's mouth with some kind of vague excuse.

What a scum, hehe.

Hearing Tomohiro's voice, crying in shock at having a foreign object suddenly thrust into him, Mama and the neighbor's mother looked over at me. The very young Mama and the neighbor mom, who was close in age, hit it off perfectly and became friends, having tea parties frequently.

Even though tea parties were fun, leaving a toddler unattended was a situation that would likely have polarized opinions, but that was my fault. Thanks to my high ethical standards as a reincarnated person, I had behaved so well and ideally that even believers in the theory of human evil would be tempted to believe in the theory of human goodness. 

I never did anything to cause worry, and I was always watching over Tomohiro and being the first to stop anything if something happened. Tomohiro's safety was guaranteed by the toddler, who always solved everything before the mothers. No wonder the mothers tend to let their guard down.

Anyway, when the mothers turned their attention to me, they saw me shoving a snack into the toddler's mouth. They were both wide-eyed at my brutal behavior, as they had trusted me so much.

You're cute, Mama.

The neighbor mom is cute too, though not as much as you.

These two people, who would undoubtedly have tried to flirt with me if I were a flirtatious adult man, stopped me after a while. Of course, I'm a tough-guy, so I would never flirt with the mothers, and would obediently stop if they stopped me.

Tomohiro continued to cry, and I pretended to be a child, saying, "I want to share some delicious food with Hiro-chan too."

My words, which they had easily believed thanks to my good behavior up until then, must have touched something in the neighbor mother, as Tomohiro ended up being scolded for his weakness.

Well, I don't think it's good to compare him to me, though.

And so, Tomohiro decided to wean himself. It's my fault. It's so much my fault that there's no excuse for it.

Oh dear, he cried when his beloved mother told him not to breastfeed. Poor thing. I wonder why a child's cry hits me so close.

Don't worry, the food is delicious!

I add a non-conforming follow-up, adding insult to injury, while acting in a way that hides my enjoyment of his crying.

Hiding one's abnormality is only natural for a somewhat abnormal person.

While trying to hide it, engaging in behavior that might expose it, yes. It can't be helped, it's a fetish, after all.

Well, my fetish is a common one, so I don't have any abnormal behavior that I have to hide. The only thing I have to hide right now is the fact that I'm a reincarnated person. I have to hide that more than my fetish.

While playing with Tomohiro like this, I basically take good care of him. The neighbor mom says Hikari-chan would make a good big sister, and that might be interesting too.

It'd be cute if a child formed a brother-sister-like relationship with a childhood friend their age, only to have that suddenly shattered.

It's probably not directly related to my goal, but maybe it would be good to raise him as if he was snack.

"Yes! Hikari is Hiro-chan's big sister!"

It's best to instill this kind of thing in parents from a young age. Even if I mess with them or manipulate them, they shouldn't be wary of me. And once I get close to them, they would become lenient toward me. Something that wouldn't be tolerated with a mere neighbor will forgiven with a childhood friend they've known like family since childhood. Even if it ultimately ends badly, there's a chance that I would be forgiven out of affection.

It's affection, after all. Emotions are what make people interesting.

This isn't really important, but the reason I call Tomohiro "Hiro-chan" is as part of a child role-play.

It's fun, like we're childhood friends.

Since I started calling him that, the neighbor mom started calling him the same. Maybe when he hits puberty, he'll tell her to stop calling her that, signaling the onset of puberty.

I can't wait.

A reincarnated person's sense of time is long.

"...Hikari-onee-chan?"

Tomohiro, completely unaware of my plotting, innocently and honestly calls me "Onee-chan." 

You're so pure and cute.

Hey hey, let me give you lots of tight hugs.

It's so cute that you get so happy over something like this.

Come on, I'll distort you more.