Chapter 13: Just one more step—though it’s still a step.
Chapter 13: Just one more step—though it’s still a step.
> Chapter 14: There’s no turning backOnodera Sumire—the very embodiment of beauty and talent. Across heaven and earth, in every corner of this world, she is the most revered being.
I, Ichinose Kanna, hold her in the highest regard. No, even the word admire feels inadequate. To evaluate her in any way would surely invite divine punishment. Just thinking about it might already be blasphemy.
But there’s one thing I must say:
"She’s too precious!!!"
Lately, she’s been overwhelmingly adorable.
For instance, when Shimada-kun dozed off sitting up, she spent the entire lunch break just gazing at his sleeping face. Or when she squeezed herself into his chair, insisting on sitting beside him despite the clear lack of space.
With her cheeks faintly flushed, she walks beside him, stealing glances at his profile. It’s beyond endearing. As she falls deeper in love, her already breathtaking beauty somehow shines even brighter.
"She’s reaching her limit again."
"How can anyone stay calm after seeing something like that?!"
"Well, it’s true. Just looking over there makes the air feel sweeter."
Sakuma-san sighs, resting her cheek on her hand as she gazes dreamily at Sumire. Every movement she makes is so effortlessly elegant—she’s simply too beautiful.
"Tch, she’s got herself a handsome boyfriend…"
"Kanna, you could get a boyfriend in no time too, you know."
"Nah, I just rarely come across someone who’s my type."
At my core, I’m just an otaku. And to be honest, I’m not great at handling overly flirtatious types. They intimidate me. Some are even ridiculously clingy.
As unpleasant memories resurface, I shift my focus, following Sakuma-san’s gaze.
There they are.
Sumire stands behind Shimada-kun, practically glued to him as he sits. As she chats, she absentmindedly plays with his hair.
"Ah, I found a white hair!"
"Ouch! Can’t you pull it out more gently? What if I go bald?"
Sumire looks delighted, and Shimada-kun doesn’t seem to mind too much. It’s an incredibly heartwarming scene. They insist they’re not dating, but seriously—if this isn’t a couple, then what even is?
I let my mind wander, imagining them once they finally get together. Immediately, my thoughts fill with a flood of pink, sparkly romance. I shake my head.
Nope. Too much. If their relationship goes any further, I’m pretty sure it’ll cause a diabetes outbreak.
I space out, lost in these pointless thoughts, still watching them—until my view is suddenly blocked.
I blink and look up.
An unwelcome intruder—a guy from the class next door. He’s grinning in that creepy way as he starts talking to me.
"Again?"
I exchange a glance with Sakuma-san. Lately, it feels like guys have been aggressively trying to approach us.
Just when I was finally feeling at ease…
In the end, the rest of lunch break was spent listening to him drone on about things I couldn’t care less about.
"I'm home—"
After finishing club activities, the first thing I do when I get back is feed the goldfish.
It’s been over three years since Sumire gave them to me, and they’re still as lively as ever. I looked it up once—turns out goldfish can live surprisingly long. Some even make it past thirty years.
These little guys have been with me through all my struggles with social anxiety (or at least, that’s what I’d like to believe), so I’ve grown really attached to them. I hope they live long, healthy lives.
Sumire named them Julius Caesar and Junius Brutus. She said Caesar was too hard to pronounce for a goldfish, so she went with the English version instead. I don’t really get her logic, but that’s just so Sumire.
After helping my mom a bit with dinner prep, I headed back to my room to relax. When I opened L○NE, I saw a message from Sumire.
"Hey, is it okay if I call you for a bit tonight?"
Hmm. That’s… unusually formal for her.
We talk on the phone all the time, but usually, she just calls out of the blue with a "Hey, you free? I’m calling!" Other than that, we mostly voice chat while playing online games.
"Anytime is fine!"
I sent a quick reply, and it was marked as read almost instantly. A cute cat sticker with a "Thank you" popped up in response.
"There’s something I want to talk to you about…"
Something she wants to talk about? That’s rare.
I couldn’t help but wonder what it was.
Before I could dwell on it too much, my mom called me for dinner.
"Your dad’s coming home late today, so let’s eat without him."
The three of us—my mom, my little brother, and I—sat down to enjoy a hearty stew packed with vegetables.
After stopping by Ren’s house to hang out for a bit, I finally made it home.
The moment I stepped into my room, I flung myself onto the bed, my upper body sinking into the mattress. I buried my face in the blanket and writhed.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuu………………"
What’s happening to me…?
Every day, this feeling grows stronger. It’s become so overwhelming that I can barely stand it like a powerful impulse bubbling inside me, threatening to burst at any moment. I’m just barely keeping it in check as I go through each day.
It feels almost like hunger. But it’s not just pure, innocent love. It’s something messier—an aching, tangled mix of emotions swirling with things I can’t quite name.
I’m so unbearably lonely. I don’t want to be apart from him, not even for a second. I want to be closer—closer, closer. I want him to want me just as much. To hold me so tightly that we become one…
Even now, alone in my room, that crushing loneliness gnaws at me.
Honestly, even when I’m with Ren, I can’t shake this restlessness. There’s this urge—to jump into his lap, to cling to him with everything I have.
If this keeps up, I’m going to lose control.
And when that happens… both Ren and I are going to get hurt.
So… I have to end this soon.
But the truth is—I have no idea what to do.
I’ve never felt this way before. Not about anyone.
Until now, I never understood people who let every little thing about love shake them. I thought they were overreacting.
But now… I get it.
This really is something that makes it impossible to stay calm. They weren’t exaggerating when they called it lovesickness.
Even now, I don’t fully understand love. The emotions, the intricacies—none of it makes sense to me.
But… I’m not alone.
I have friends—friends who do understand, friends who are practically experts when it comes to romance.
After agonizing for thirty minutes, my phone clutched in my hands, I finally typed out a message.
"Hey, is it okay if I call you for a bit tonight?"
I sent it to the friend I trust the most. The one who’s always been there for me.
The one I knew I could talk to without hesitation.
"I... I think I’ve fallen for someone."
Hearing those words over the phone made my heart skip a beat.
Her voice was serious—so full of emotion that it practically radiated through the signal. I was about to tease her with a “I already know,” but the way she struggled to get the words out made me stop.
Instead, I pressed my lips together and simply listened.
“It’s just… this is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about someone… and I don’t know what to do…”
I’ve never seen Sumire like this before—so vulnerable, so lost.
Well, technically, I’m not seeing her right now since we’re on the phone, but still.
After a brief pause, I finally spoke.
"I mean… the best thing is to just do what you want… but saying that would make me a terrible advice-giver, huh? So… what do you want to do, Sumire?"
"I…"
Silence stretched between us. I waited, giving her time to gather her thoughts.
“I… I want to tell him how I feel. But the thought of being rejected… it scares me so much that my whole body shakes… I know everyone probably feels the same way. But I don’t know how to overcome that fear like everyone else seems to…”
How to overcome fear…? Honestly, I don’t know either.
After all, I’m just as inexperienced when it comes to love.
But the fact that she’s relying on me like this… Maybe it’s inappropriate to feel this way, but I couldn’t help it.
It made me happy.
She trusted me enough to confide in me about something so important. And that thought alone filled me with warmth.
Trying to hide my feelings, I spoke softly.
"I don’t think people overcome their fear, you know? They’re probably just as scared as you are, but they push it aside for just a moment and find the courage to act. I’m sorry if that sounds too vague… but I’ll be here for you. I’ll help you find that last bit of courage you need.
And… thank you for trusting me enough to talk to me about this.”
I’m used to people coming to me for advice. Usually, they just want someone to listen—to nod along and offer the occasional “Yeah, I see” or “That makes sense.”
But this… this was different.
I wasn’t just listening. I was trying to help.
I racked my brain, searching for the right words. What should she do? But one thing I knew for sure—standing still wouldn’t solve anything.
Taking action, even when it’s terrifying, is what really matters.
“I think… momentum is important,” I said slowly. “If you overthink it, you’ll just get more scared. So maybe you should just go for it all at once.”
“Momentum…?”
“Yeah. Like, when you’re walking home together or when the mood feels right, just blurt it out—‘I like you.’”
“N-no way… I can’t do that…”
Sumire’s voice was barely above a whisper, thick with hesitation. But honestly, I was sure that if she just said it—if she put her feelings into words—things would move forward in an instant.
In fact, if those two didn’t work out with the kind of atmosphere they had, then the world must be broken.
That’s why, no matter what, I wanted Sumire to find the courage.
"Then how about creating a situation where you can’t run away? Like, while you’re still calm, send him a message saying, ‘I have something important to talk about. Meet me behind the school building.’"
"I… see…?"
"You create a point of no return before you even have time to overthink it. Want to send it right now?"
"N-no, not yet…"
She’s beautiful, smart, and kind to everyone. Someone like her shouldn’t even have to consider the possibility of rejection. If anything, she could afford to be a little more confident.
Why does she have such low self-esteem?
…Then again, maybe that’s exactly what makes her so charming.
Honestly, I’m kind of jealous of Shimada-kun.
"Sumire, you’ll be fine...I’m not just saying this to cheer you up—I really mean it. So, have a little more confidence in yourself."
"…………"
For a long moment, she said nothing. Then, slowly, she opened up, voicing her insecurities one by one.
And one by one, I gently but firmly countered them.
Honestly, reassuring her was easier than finding any flaws in her. When someone as amazing as Sumire doubts herself like this, it makes the rest of us wonder where we even stand. It’s overwhelming in a way—like watching a star forget how brightly it shines.
But as her voice gradually lost its hesitation, even if just a little, I felt a quiet wave of relief wash over me.
She’s finally being honest with her feelings. That alone is a huge step. Now, all she needs is the right moment—and everything will fall into place.
After that, we talked about what she could do next. All I could really do was give her a little push, but if I’ve helped her even a little, then I’m happy.
"Sorry for taking up so much time… I said it’d be a quick call, but—"
"Don’t apologize." I smiled softly, even though she couldn’t see it. "I’m really glad you came to me. Thank you."
"Really… thank you."
It seemed like she had finally sorted out her feelings. She said she was heading to bed, so our consultation—stretching well over an hour—came to an end.
I let out a breath and flopped onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.
I wish I could have a passionate love like that too…
I muttered to myself.
I’m still just a high schooler. Once I go to college, my world will probably expand. I’m sure I’ll meet someone amazing then.
But still… watching those two, who are always sprinkling sugar everywhere they go, makes me think—
I wouldn’t mind experiencing a sweet, bittersweet high school romance too.
Author's Note
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