Chapter 8: I saw it (Part2)

Someone once said, “Shyness is just a defense mechanism until you get used to it.” And they were absolutely right.

Since that rainy day, Sumire had been sticking to me more than ever—almost excessively.
At this point, she was always close, both in presence and in physical distance. Lately, though, the casual touches had become more frequent.

As a perfectly normal high school guy, being exposed to that kind of contact every day naturally started to mess with me.

In short, I was ridiculously aroused to the point where I couldn’t focus on anything else all day.

But if my body reacted while Sumire was right next to me? That would be the end. No doubt about it.

It’s something called the ‘Stuffed Animal Penis Phenomenon’—when you suddenly see the sexual side of someone you never thought of that way, it triggers nothing but disgust.

That would definitely happen to her too. I mean, even without this so-called phenomenon, if your childhood friend suddenly started looking at you in an intensely sexual way, it would just be creepy. You’d feel uncomfortable—maybe even threatened.

I have to avoid that at all costs.

There’s no way I’m letting things end with us cutting ties over something like this. If it ever came to that… I’d rather just confess and get rejected. That would still hurt like hell, though.

Oh no. Just imagining it is making me want to cry.

"Huh? You’ve been looking at me like that all this time...? Gross. Sorry, but that’s just... repulsive."

If she looked at me with that kind of disgust and said something like that, I’m pretty sure I could just die on the spot.

This is a battle against myself.

No matter what, I have to keep my raging other half under control when I’m around her.

※※※※※※

A week had passed since I made that decision, and my frustration had hit its peak.

I’d tried to take care of things on my own more times than I could count, but every single time, something got in the way. Just when I thought, Alright, now’s my chance, my dad would barge into my room, or Sumire would call me out of nowhere. My timing was always terrible.

In the end, I was forced into a full week of abstinence.

Just one week—but still, one whole week.

Because of Sumire, I had no way to release all the pent-up frustration building inside me. At this point, I was practically Okin Skywalker, ready to explode at any moment.

For a high school guy, going without while being around a beautiful girl every day was just cruel. It was only natural. After all, I’m a guy. A teenage boy’s brain is, what—80% occupied by desires?

In other words, this isn’t my fault at all. If anything, I should be applauding myself for holding out this long.

But today is Saturday. Finally, I have time. Today, I will definitely do it.

If I meet Sumire like this, there’s no doubt—I’ll end up impulsively pushing her down. That can’t happen.

I watch my dad leave through the window. He’s probably out shopping again. Based on past experience, he won’t be back for another two or three hours. And if he’s not here, Sumire can’t just waltz into the house.

I won!!

With this unparalleled, perfect opportunity, I all but skipped toward my bed, practically dancing with joy. I grabbed my phone and powered it on.

Finally, the time has come.

At last, I can take care of things. No more enduring. No more interruptions. This time, nothing will stop me.

I navigated to my favorite site, pulled up my usual material, and got myself into battle-ready mode.

UOOOOOH!!! My energy is overflowing! It’s rising!!!

Just as I freed my son from the cruel confines of fabric and took hold to calm his wild rampage—

Click.

A soft, ominous sound echoed through the room.

No way.

No way, no way, no way—this can’t be happening.

“Oh… it’s open, huh…”

Sumire’s voice.

I looked up.

There she was, standing in the doorway, looking completely stunned.

Our eyes met.

Her gaze flickered downward for a split second—then snapped right back up to mine.

The summer heat had driven me to push all my bedding to the corner of the bed, leaving me completely exposed in that crucial moment.

I froze.

There was nowhere to hide. No way to make excuses. My lower half was on full display, and in my hand, I firmly grasped the holy sword.

Ah.

My life is over.

"Ah── no, actually, maybe it wasn’t open. Yeah. I didn’t see anything. Not a thing. Well then… salad bar."

With that bizarre statement, Sumire slammed the door shut.

Then—pitter-patter, pitter-patter—her footsteps echoed as she bolted down the stairs.

All I could do was sit there, stunned, watching her leave.

The overwhelming libido that had consumed me just moments ago vanished in an instant, replaced by a crushing wave of exhaustion.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh…

Mentally checked out, still gripping my son, I stared blankly into the void.

Then—piro-rin.

My phone vibrated with a LINE notification.

It was from Sumire.

"Sorry for barging in. Let me know when you're done."

That single, well-intentioned finishing blow drained the last of my HP.

With all hope lost, I flopped onto my bed and sulked myself to sleep.

※※※※※※

"Sorry, these kinds of accidents happen, right? I totally forgot..."

"Just kill me..."

"You don’t have to take it so hard. I get it, you know."

"I can’t go on living… If it means living in shame, I’d rather commit seppuku right here and now..."

Having resigned myself to fate, I silently pulled my pants back on and sat formally on the floor, my posture as rigid as my dignity was shattered.

Sumire, now sitting cross-legged on my bed, looked down at me with an unreadable expression.

You like this angle, huh?

Strangely enough, my heart had reached an eerie calm. Was this what they called nirvana? All that remained was for her to pass judgment.

"All guys are like that, you know."

"Everyone, you say? And how exactly would you, a girl, understand something like this?"

"Hmm? What do you think?"

It’s over. Everything is over.

The last person I ever wanted to witness me in such a state had seen everything. Sumire might be putting on a calm front, but deep down, she was probably disgusted beyond belief.

The sheer humiliation of being caught in the absolute worst moment of my existence made my vision go dark. My mind scrambled for some way—any way—to salvage the situation, but no words would come out.

This must be what true despair feels like.

I was too afraid to look up, too terrified to see the expression on her face.

All I could do was lower my head in complete silence.

Sigh…

Sumire let out an exaggerated sigh, the kind that made my stomach churn with anxiety.

What is she thinking?
Eek, is this it? Is she finally going to condemn me…?

"That’s enough."

Her voice carried an air of finality, and I braced myself for the worst.

"I really get how you feel, but sulking like this is just pathetic. Let’s be bold about it."

"Huh?"

"Ah—wait! I meant let’s be bold, not let’s do it boldly—uh, well, you know…"

"…No, I get it. This whole atmosphere is bad. We need to fix it. Fast."

Oh no. This girl was more flustered than I thought. That was definitely an unintentional dirty joke. Sumire, usually the picture of composure, had just blurted out something outrageous. Now she was scrambling to cover up her own slip of the tongue.

"I can’t take this anymore. Let’s play a game. Genshin Impact multiplayer—it’s been a while."

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

Desperate for an escape, we both grabbed our phones and booted up Genshin Impact.

"Is it okay if we do Abyss runs?"

"Yeah."

And so, in this painfully awkward silence, we stared at our screens. The game loaded. We started playing. But no matter how much I tried to focus, the visuals and sounds blurred together like static.

The real battle had already taken place, and I was still reeling from my total, crushing defeat.

Even though my hands felt stiff and uncoordinated, I fumbled through the menu, pressing the wrong button more times than I’d like to admit. Eventually, I managed to send a multiplayer request and entered her world.

After entering her world, I prepped my characters, adjusted my equipment, and crafted some healing items. Just as I finished, a domain multiplayer invitation popped up. Since Sumire was way more experienced than me, I let her handle the attacking role while I stuck to support. With this setup, we could clear the runs in no time.

Lately, I’d only been playing fighting games and party games, so it had been a while since our last Genshin co-op session.

As I focused on the game, the lingering awkwardness gradually faded. I picked my character while glancing at hers—she was using Ganyu and Shenhe. No shield support, huh? I decided to go with Bennett and Zhongli for some extra protection.

A quick side glance showed Sumire sprawled lazily on my bed. And that’s when I noticed—her skirt was… really short.

Dangerous. Extremely dangerous. Her legs were practically glowing, and if she shifted even a little—nope, not going there.

Banish worldly desires. Banish worldly desires!!

While pinching my cheek with all my might to maintain focus, I fought through the enemies in a near-meditative state. Before I knew it, I had used up all my resin. As expected, with Sumire’s help, everything wrapped up in no time.

Since I’d forgotten to check my drops, I went through the artifacts one by one. Oh? A five-star artifact with a promising main stat?

"This is really strong, isn't it?"

"Hmm? Which one?"

Sumire, who had gotten off the bed, leaned over my shoulder to peek at my screen.

Soft. Warm.

Banish worldly desires. Banish worldly desires. Banish worldly desires!!!!!!

Was she doing this on purpose? Even after seeing that, why was she still clinging to me so carelessly? Could she be… inviting me? Wait, no, calm down, brain.

Because I was caught in such impure thoughts, I was probably a little careless.

"Oh, that's nice...………………………………………… Oh, oh…"

Sumire, who had been watching the screen from behind, suddenly froze. Wondering what had happened, I turned to look at her face — which was, to my surprise, right beside mine. Her gaze was slightly unfocused, and her hair rested lightly on my shoulder, making my heart race. Wait, she’s way too close. This is bad. (Vocabulary power running on fumes here.)

While desperately trying to escape reality, I nervously followed her gaze... and noticed it. Something that was unmistakably visible, even through my pants. Something asserting itself far too boldly.

Ah, this time it's really over.

"Ah………………"

"It's not like that! This is a misunderstanding, I swear!"

"I-I'm really sorry... Th-that's just how boys are, right? I-I'll go home for now. See you tomorrow."

Without waiting for a response, she bolted out of the room as if fleeing for her life.

She definitely hates me now. It’s over. The confirmed, irreversible finale of my existence. Ugh... How am I supposed to face her at school on Monday? We’re in the same class, so it’s not like I can avoid her.

All I could do was stare up at the ceiling in despair.

---

Today was a day full of incidents. I think I might have done something truly unforgivable to Ren.

Until now, I had always believed I wasn’t conscious of him as someone of the opposite sex. After all, no matter how much I tried to get his attention, he never even spared me a glance. 

But if I really think about it… Ren is still a boy at that age. There’s no way he wouldn’t be interested in that kind of thing.

And more importantly, I am—without a doubt—a beautiful girl, a fact recognized by both myself and others. Even if he wasn’t aware of it, being alone together in the same room must have made him feel at least a little flustered.

The memory of Ren’s flustered state flashes through my mind, along with the sight of that unmistakable reaction. That… towards me…?

No, no, no!

I quickly press a hand to my lower abdomen, trying to shake the thought from my mind. In the midst of my internal turmoil, my gaze lands on the mirror.

There, standing alone, is a beautiful girl with cheeks flushed a deep red.

My cheeks turned bright red...? N-no, that can’t be right. Why would I be blushing? It’s only because I saw something weird that I’m feeling flustered. Yeah, that’s all it is — just a mistake.

Because I’m a guy.

Yeah, that’s right. There’s no way I’d make that kind of face.

So there’s no need to dwell on it. No need to confirm something so obvious.

...Yeah.

Let’s just go to sleep. I’m exhausted.

Avoiding my reflection, I quietly turned off the lights and dove into bed, as if escaping my own thoughts. Even as I shut my eyes, a restless feeling lingered, gnawing at my chest.

It’s strange, isn’t it?

I... I...

As if trying to shield the ache in my heart, I clung tightly to a large pillow, holding on with all my strength. And until sleep finally took me, I kept shaking off the strange thoughts that refused to leave me alone.