Chapter 7: Primediteit Unconscious
Chapter 7: Primediteit Unconscious
> Chapter 8: Your Best NightmareNight. The outskirts of the city.
The sparse lights of distant buildings barely reach here, leaving the area in deep shadow. A desolate place, where even the moonlight fails to touch—swallowed by darkness.
And within it—blue, glowing, monstrous aberrations.
...Even if the protagonist were to find me, the actions of my "army" wouldn't change.
A torn bandage flutters loose.
I release a crimson slash from my hand, striking down a supernatural eyeball entity emitting that sickly blue glow.
『g■w■o——!!』
A distorted shriek—somewhere between a wail and a scream. The aberration flees.
Scattered eyes remain, still twitching, but with their main body gone, their coordination crumbles.
Beams of cursed light shoot toward me. None land. I weave through the barrage with ease, then ready my Materializer.
"Reproduction rate—30%. Utility knife, manifest!"
A box cutter materializes in my grip. One by one, I snap off the blades and launch them like bullets.
Each disposable blade pierces through the swarm of floating eyes. They drop, dissolving into wisps of blue smoke.
The area falls silent. The battlefield is clear.
...I’ve been in good form these past few days.
Somehow, my mind feels lighter. My vision is sharper, like something that once clouded it has been wiped away.
I prepare to pursue the fleeing aberration—
"————"
—only to come face-to-face with a man in a suit.
His pupils glow the same eerie blue as the supernatural entities. He writhes, sparks crackling around him, his expression twisted in agony.
Tears spill from those light-filled eyes.
And then—
A laser, bright as lightning, streaks toward me—
"Damage Bullet—Slash Zan! Shoot Shūto!"
Before it can fire, I cut down the aberration lurking in the shadows.
The eerie glow vanishes from the man’s eyes.
He collapses, gasping for breath. A shaky thanks escapes his lips.
I offer him a reassuring smile, direct him toward the cleanup team, then move on.
...Really, I’ve been in such good form lately.
It must be because I can feel it—that things are finally moving in the right direction.
Even after all this time, Moribe’s responses have been… decent, I think.
I’m a little troubled by how often other students approach me now, but—objectively speaking—that just means I’m doing something right.
But how should I put it? I don’t just want to raise his favorability—I want to boost his friendship level a bit more.
Of course, purely for strategic reasons.
Just thinking he seems nice or he's kinda cute isn't enough to feel secure.
If I reveal now that I’m an agent of the Army, he might actually distance himself from me.
In that game, if you recruit someone as a combat unit before fully developing their drama events, raising their friendship actually becomes harder.
The points you gain from battle are nothing compared to the ones from story events—and once they’re a combat unit, their opportunities for drama events plummet.
That’s just how the system works.
It often leads to absurd situations where someone you’ve fought alongside dozens of times ends up less close than a classmate you hung out with twice.
That’s why I need to clear the drama events quickly—otherwise, I won’t even be able to reveal my true identity.
At worst, Nishizaki might overtake me in friendship points later.
…Well, that said, we still haven’t talked much at school.
But I’ve finally started getting used to it.
Lately, he’s even been the one initiating conversations, so his friendship level must be rising. I can’t check the numbers in this world, but it wouldn’t be strange for an event or two to trigger soon.
(…An event…)
I recall the in-game cutscenes.
Scenes where Misora Gotendō or Nishizaki walked home from school with the protagonist. Enjoyed festivals together. Went out alone on weekends—
…Dates, essentially.
I imagine myself in their place, standing where they stood, and—
"Ghhhaaaa—!!"
『GWA■HH!?』
A bandage snaps.
I unleash a burst of stored wounds, finishing off the aberration I thought I had let escape earlier.
No…! That’s not it at all!
I mean, even if it did happen—
Even if I had to—
It’d be purely out of necessity!
Just to save Misora Gotendō!
Purely out of obligation.
Reluctantly.
As a last resort.
…Playing the role of a—a heroine or something…!
『■■■——!!』
"Whoa—"
I spin just in time to catch the aberration lunging at me. One final energy slash cuts it down.
…Weird.
At this level, that should’ve been enough to finish it off for sure.
Was it a high-VIT build?
Or did it have some kind of last-stand or damage-nullification skill?
Or maybe…
"…Was my damage output lower?"
I lower my still-outstretched hand, murmuring to myself.
Either way, that’s it for tonight.
The ending was a bit messy, but I wrapped up faster than usual. If this keeps up, I should be in good shape tomorrow, too.
I should just head back and sleep. Secure rest while I can, and all that.
…Wait.
At this hour, that store Nishizaki mentioned might still be open.
Back when I told her I didn’t own any casual clothes, she recommended it.
I tried to brush it off, saying I didn’t need any, but she insisted. And—maybe she had a point.
If I’m going to be spending more time outside school with them from now on…
Maybe I should check it out.
After all… I might end up going out with Moribe-kun, too, and—
"…Ngh."
The earlier fantasy threatens to resurface.
I shake my head violently, shutting it down.
…Yeah, no.
I’m going straight home today.
With my mission complete, I quicken my pace and disappear into the night.
"Hey, Zaijou... You free this weekend? Saturday or Sunday’s fine."
"Hweh?!"
Peeking timidly into the neighboring classroom, waiting for him to notice and come over—this had become our usual lunchtime routine.
Moribe-kun held out two tickets as he spoke.
Unlimited access passes to the mega mall in the neighboring city—a fortress-sized commercial complex built by that worldwide conglomerate. (Well, the public face of the Corporation. The secret underground base part wasn’t relevant right now.)
"W-wait, those are…?"
"I just thought... maybe we could go together. But if you're busy or whatever, it's fine—"
"I'll go! I'm not busy! At all!"
I answered reflexively, without thinking.
My weekends were absolutely booked. I’d have to skip visiting Misora Gotendō at the hospital. But even so—I could not let this chance slip away.
"But, um… Didn't you get those from Nishizaki-san...? Ah, no, I just kinda assumed—"
"Oh, uh—yeah, but she said I could invite whoever I wanted."
These tickets were basically corporate reward coupons, given to the Corporation’s agents for outstanding performance.
They were supposed to be used for a date event with her.
But… was this really okay? Using them on me instead?
Choosing me over Nishizaki-san?
A date.
A date event.
With him.
“…!”
No—that’s not it.
It’s not like that.
I’m not happy about this at all.
Getting asked out by a guy? No way that would make me happy.
Even if I were happy, it’d just be because I get to hang out with someone cool like the protagonist, that’s all.
Besides, that date event was supposed to require really high affection—no, friendship—points with the heroine. Normally, it wouldn’t even trigger until midway through the story. There’s no way I’ve raised his affection that high in just a week of talking.
This isn’t because I’m easy or anything—it's probably just a casual hangout! That’s all!
"So, about the date—"
"W-wait! I need to check with my, uh... family first!"
I bolted from the classroom and yanked out my smartphone-shaped comms device, frantically contacting my commander.
Explaining this in terms of "the protagonist" wouldn’t get me anywhere. No one would understand.
So instead, I pleaded.
As much as I could disclose without revealing too much. Begging for any possible adjustments to my schedule—
"—Yeah, yeah, got it. Your Saturday mission is now undercover reconnaissance and investigation at one of the Corporation’s publicly managed facilities. That work for you?"
"Y-yes! Thank you so much!!"
Even though he couldn’t see me, I bowed my head over and over.
"You were supposed to visit Hoshizumi that day too. What about that?"
"Ah, right! I-I think we’ll be done before the medical ward closes, but… just in case…"
"Fine. I’ll let the medical team know."
The call ended.
Thank goodness. Now I could go out with him without any guilt.
…Wait—what about my clothes?!
I didn’t have time to go shopping before the weekend.
I could’ve gone yesterday, but I blew it… Maybe if I finished today’s mission fast enough, I could still make it.
Returning to the classroom, I confirmed the mee—no, the outing details with him—time and place.
"So… 10 AM, north exit of the station?"
"Y-yeah…!"
I didn’t absorb a single word of the remaining classes.
Moribe-kun said he’d handle the itinerary, but my mind kept spinning with possibilities anyway.
Of course, I was nervous… but it’d be fine.
It’d work out.
In my past life, I was good at reading people. If I really focused, I could still pull it off now. No matter what choices he made, I’d make sure our interactions were flawless.
And if it went well… if his friendship level rose high enough…
Then, finally—
"…………"
Finally, I’d tell him everything.
And he’d help me.
Then, it would all be over.
Everything would be resolved.
I’d be saved.
I could atone to Misora Gotendō.
I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.
"…………"
…That’s how it should go.
But for some reason…
My chest feels tight. Uneasy.
Like I’m overlooking something crucial.
…It’s probably nothing.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day.
I grabbed my bag and sprinted, breathless, toward the Army’s base.
Instead of my usual route, I slipped through backways meant to avoid civilian attention, entering the facility without a hitch.
I headed straight for the commander’s office to report in.
I knocked. No answer.
…Huh? Odd. Even though I was earlier than usual, she should definitely be here at this hour.
If not her office, then maybe the command center?
Unlike other branches, our base rarely used its command center—it mostly functioned as storage for moderately important but seldom-accessed documents.
I hadn’t been there often, but I still remembered the way.
"Commander—?"
I peered inside.
There she was, clad in her usual black pantsuit, her expression unreadable as ever.
And beside her stood a blonde Caucasian woman.
"…?"
Who was that?
Definitely not part of our unit.
Dressed in a black blouse and a trench skirt—civilian clothes—yet she carried herself with the same quiet authority as the commander. Someone high-ranking, then.
A named character, maybe?
Even if she was in the game, civilian outfits made it hard to place her.
And… something about their conversation felt off.
Both of them paused at unnatural intervals, like they were listening to a third party I couldn’t see.
An earpiece? A hidden transmission?
"—Ah, Zaijou."
The commander noticed me in the doorway.
For just a fraction of a second, she stiffened—like someone caught in the act.
…What was this?
If this was a clandestine meeting, should I intervene?
Narratively speaking, interfering would be the correct choice, but—
"…………"
…No. Better not.
Her plans wouldn’t fully unfold until the mid-game.
The Syndicate’s extremists wouldn’t steal the high-risk supernatural entity—the catalyst for the final conflict—for another year.
Skipping this scene wouldn’t change anything.
And besides, it was better to leave it to the protagonist anyway.
Suppressing the discomfort curling in my gut, I made my decision.
"Uh, Commander, I’m heading out for the mission—"
"R-right. Go ahead. Contact me if anything comes up."
I nodded, deliberately avoiding the blonde woman’s gaze, and turned on my heel.
I left without looking back.
"…………"
It’s fine.
Everything’s fine.
…It has to be.
Unfortunately, today’s numbers were overwhelming.
Inside the dimly lit abandoned building, grotesque supernatural entities swarmed, writhing and emitting unsettling, chittering noises. Their forms resembled grotesque imps stitched together from multiple insect species.
Their primary attack method was brute-force charging, but some exhibited special abilities—acid sprays, silk threads—exploiting their insectoid traits.
That said, they weren’t particularly cunning. They didn’t take civilians hostage.
They were simply strong, numerous, and mindlessly violent—a straightforward threat.
On any other day, I wouldn’t have minded clearing them out.
But today, of all days, their timing couldn’t have been worse.
"Tch—!"
I unleashed a barrage of manifested box cutter blades.
But precision attacks had their limits. No matter how strong, they were only as effective as their accuracy—and too many of the creatures dodged.
Even if I pushed my abilities further, it wouldn’t change much. My skill set wasn’t suited for wide-range combat. I could hold my own, but this would take time.
If this were the game, Nishizaki-san would’ve—
The thought barely formed before—
"Reproduction rate—1000%! H2O Manifestation!"
A blue figure lunged from the side, sweeping through the swarm with a torrential spear of water.
"Nishizaki-san?!"
She landed inside the ruined building, clad in the Corporation’s futuristic combat suit. Instinctively, I tensed—but she raised a hand and lifted her visor slightly.
"Relax! It’s fine today—I’m on cleanup duty too."
"Huh…? But—"
"Normally, yeah. But these things? Just lab escapees. Any biotech firm could mass-produce these if they threw enough time and money at it. No need to capture and study ’em—just wipe ’em out before civilians get hurt. Radiation-based gene mods, probably. Same deal as those crows from the other day."
She wasn’t wrong. The Corporation didn’t preserve everything for research.
Even in the game, Nishizaki-san routinely eliminated generic enemies. For infinitely respawning types, securing one specimen was enough—the rest were disposed of for public safety.
"But honestly, with numbers like these, I probably didn’t even need to step in—Zaijou-chan could’ve handled it alone. Actually, scratch that, you’re way stronger than me anyway."
"N-no, you really helped. I was kind of in a hurry today."
"Oh? Got plans?"
"Y-yeah, I, uh… need to buy some clothes…"
The moment I said it, Nishizaki-san’s eyes lit up. Even through her visor, I could see the excitement.
"Heeeh? Didn’t you say before you didn’t need casual clothes?"
"Ah… w-well…"
I couldn’t say it. Because I got asked out.
Not that it’s a date or anything, but still—I needed something to wear. That sounded so… girly. Embarrassing.
My face burned. As I clammed up, Nishizaki-san deactivated her gear and reached out.
"Hey, why don’t we go together? The stores should still be open."
She winked—playful, effortless, ridiculously cute. The kind of charm that made her the undisputed main heroine, leagues ahead of someone like me.
A strange, wordless frustration welled up inside me. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out:
"Um—Moribe-kun invited me out this weekend. Like, to hang out."
"! Oh, finally—I mean, wow, that’s great!"
"B-but… Nishizaki-san, are you… okay with that?"
"? With what?"
"Y’know… Moribe-kun… and you…"
I stared at the ground. After a brief pause, she answered.
"Ahhh, wow, Zaijou-chan’s so lucky! So unfair! I’ve had my eye on Moribe-kun too, y’know~"
"…!"
Something sharp twisted in my chest. I slammed the lid on that thought before it could fully form.
But then she grabbed my wrist.
"B-but that’s totally separate! We’re friends, so I’ll cheer you on! Just like Moribe-kun would—ah, no, never mind! Point is, I’m gonna find you the perfect outfit, got it?!"
"Wha—"
And just like that, I was dragged along.
We took one of the Corporation’s partnered taxis (the Army had no such convenient transportation—envious) straight to the store she’d mentioned before.
Not exactly high-end, but clearly a nice place.
They had casual wear, but… reasonable prices were questionable. I winced at the tags.
"Ah, wait, Zaijou-chan—"
"N-no, it's fine... I've been getting a lot of work lately, so I have some savings…"
While it was true that the Army docked my pay far too often, the Corporation simply had deeper pockets. Even in the game, their quests always gave slightly better rewards—a subtle but clear distinction.
Still, whether fortunately or unfortunately, the recent surge in supernatural threats had led to increased special allowances from the Army, fattening my wallet more than before.
At the very least, I wouldn’t be left destitute over something like clothes.
Nishizaki-san let out a deep sigh, nodding in agreement.
"Things have been rough lately, huh? Even our side’s been dealing with more incidents."
"I figured as much... Eh? W-wait, I’m supposed to wear this...?"
I balked at the outfit she handed me.
How should I put it...? It felt too stylish.
Not that I had any resistance to wearing girls' clothes—I was a pretty girl, after all, so anything would look good on me—but for someone with my gloomy character archetype, this felt like… trying too hard.
"The supernatural entities we’ve been researching have been way more active lately. Getting dragged out of bed at midnight to recapture escapees is not fun, let me tell you."
"Uh, Nishizaki-sa—"
Before I could protest, I was hauled into the fitting room, dressed up, and shoved in front of a mirror.
My fashion vocabulary was limited, but there was no denying the outfit had flair.
It was cute. And it did suit me.
But... it was too stylish.
I’d prefer something a little more... normal.
Otherwise, it’d look like I’d gone all out for a date or something…
"And because of that, we got ambushed by the Syndicate’s extremists the other day. They kidnapped some of our people and made off with dangerous stuff—"
"!? Dangerous... You don’t mean Threat Level A...!?"
"N-no, not that bad. The highest they took was Level C in terms of containment and management difficulty—still bad, though."
I exhaled in relief.
At least it didn’t seem like the main story events were being accelerated.
"That’s a relief... So it’s still safe for now."
"Yep! So, is this outfit good for your date?"
"Ah, yeah... W-wait, no, I mean—ah...!"
The day arrived with clear skies.
The forecast had predicted an 80% chance of rain, but apparently, we’d hit the remaining 20%.
I looked down at my outfit—for what must have been the dozenth time—and felt my face heat up.
Nishizaki-san picked this out for me.
After some resistance, she’d at least toned it down to something simpler. But it was still… embarrassing. Like something a high school girl trying too hard would wear.
Embarrassing. Why had I arrived a whole hour early?
At the station’s north exit, I scanned the crowd for him again.
Would he come early too? I’d already been approached by strangers a few times. And there—
"...Ah."
No, wait—that was him. Moribe-kun.
In casual clothes, he looked so different from how he did at school that I almost didn’t recognize him.
…He looks good.
…He looks good?
No, yeah. That wasn’t a weird thought. Of course, the protagonist’s casual outfit would be stylish. Whether it was the character designer’s taste or not, it had a similar vibe to what Nishizaki-san had picked for me.
But—
But why was my heart racing?
…I didn’t know. Really, I didn’t.
Noticing me standing there, he hurried over, steps quick and slightly flustered.
Probably thought he’d kept me waiting. But it was still fifteen minutes before our meet-up time. I was the one who’d come too early—he didn’t need to worry about it.
"Sorry, I tried to get here ahead of time, but..."
"N-no! I just got here too, so...!"
My voice caught. The exchange was so cliché it was embarrassing. This wasn’t some cheap rom-com. I was the one being ridiculous here.
I ducked my head slightly—but stole a glance at him from the corner of my eye.
He didn’t seem used to this kind of thing either. A little more awkward than usual. But then, he pulled himself together with a casual—
"Shall we go, then?"
…Cheater.
I was still a complete mess, and here he was, acting like we were just friends hanging out.
We walked side by side toward the massive shopping mall just outside the station.
Food, fashion, furniture, entertainment—it had everything. A towering commercial district stacked dozens of stories high, packed with every kind of store imaginable.
We didn’t usually walk side by side like this at school. I turned to look up at him.
…Look up—because he was taller.
For a guy, his height was average, but for a petite girl like me, he stood a full head above me.
Naturally, my strides were shorter too… and he adjusted his pace to match mine without a word.
Some stubborn, masculine part of me bristled at the idea of losing in height or being treated considerately, but—
Another part of me, one I didn’t understand, felt a strange warmth. Relief.
If I just let him take the lead, everything will be fine.
That thought crept in unbidden.
Our destination was the movie theater.
I’d left the day’s plans entirely up to him. He’d even already booked our tickets…
"...Eh, w-we’re watching this?"
The movie he’d chosen was... how to put it? Unapologetically B-grade.
Not that I disliked the genre, but it wasn’t exactly what you’d pick for a—not that this was a date—but, well, this kind of outing with a girl.
Of course, as someone who’d watched countless films in this genre in my past life, I knew full well there were plenty of masterpieces among them. It wasn’t a genre you could just dismiss as "B-grade," and I loathed people who wrote them off without even watching them.
But... even so, you couldn’t deny the hit-or-miss nature of it all.
It was a genre where the highs were high and the lows were abysmal. Back in my past life, I’d frequented theaters with that neighborhood kid (what was his name again?), but unless you were really familiar with it, telling the good from the bad was tough.
...Was this one of those "player chose the meme option" moments?
I had sworn to myself I’d make any choice he made seem like the perfect one, but if the movie was objectively boring, even I’d have a hard time spinning it into a fun conversation...
Wait, no—this was that director’s work? Okay, that raised expectations... but this director was also notoriously inconsistent... Hmm, but with this kind of premise...?
The theater darkened, and the film began.
...
......
.........!!
Two hours later—
"—Th-that was amazing!!"
The moment the credits rolled, I couldn’t contain my excitement and immediately turned to gush at him.
"H-Hey, Moribe-kun, which part did you like best?! For me, it was obviously that climax sequence, but also that scene in the middle where the three of them meet—you know, when—"
I launched into my usual post-movie ramble, just like I used to when I'd watched a good one in my past life... and then, suddenly, I came back to my senses.
I noticed him watching me with a slightly wry but warm smile—
And my face burned like it was about to catch fire.
"U-uh, aahh..."
Did I just... go full nerd mode?
Oh no. Oh no. What do I do? I must've sounded like such an otaku just now. I was talking so fast! I'm usually so quiet, but then I just—!
I clamped my mouth shut and looked down, but—
He effortlessly matched my energy, keeping the conversation going with gentle ease.
It was embarrassing. Mortifying.
And yet... it made me inexplicably happy.
By the time we left the theater, it was already noon—perfect for lunch.
The area we wandered into was lined with stylish cafes, full of couples. I hesitated for a moment... but then we went in anyway.
Not that there was anything wrong with it, but this was definitely the kind of place you'd go as a pair...
Ah, I can't afford to eat like this often now, but back in the day, I used to—
—
——
———!!
"So... how was it?"
"I-It was... really good..."
I'd meant to order lightly, but the familiar flavors got the better of me, and I ended up stuffing myself well past the point of comfort.
Now, as we left the restaurant, I clutched my overfull stomach in mild regret.
N-not that I'm some fragile normal person who gets sluggish after eating too much, but still! Mentally, I'm supposed to be at least twenty years older than him! How did I end up like... this?!
Actually... now that I think about it, this is weird.
He knows way too much about my tastes!
Even now, as we wandered around, none of the places he took me were as perfect a match as the movie—but they were all clearly things I'd enjoy.
Don't tell me...
Don't tell me...
Don't tell me Moribe-kun—
"…………"
"...What's wrong?"
—Is he using a walkthrough?!
Because, realistically, no one would pick these choices naturally.
I highly doubt there's a Zaijou Arishiro Route Guide out there, but still... the possibility...
………Nah.
"Um... what are we doing next?"
We'd already gone through most of the places he'd planned, and the day was winding down.
At my question, Moribe-kun scratched his cheek awkwardly.
"Nah, we ended up with more time than I thought. Figured we’d be running later. At this point, anything we do’ll feel kinda half-assed… I mean, I’m fine, but don’t you have plans after this, Zaijou?"
"Ah, n-no, it’s fine. I already told my, uh… family I might be late…"
It was true—outside of missions, I’d never missed visiting Misora Gotendō in the hospital.
Logically, I should wrap things up here and head to her room…
But today…
"…………"
…This is necessary.
The guilty sting in my chest came from my own selfish desire to keep spending time with him.
I forced myself to ignore it.
Moribe-kun frowned at the mall directory, clearly overwhelmed by the sheer number of options.
His eyes lingered on a floor clearly marketed toward couples.
That… wouldn’t be bad, but if possible, I’d rather—
"—Actually, wanna hit up the arcade?"
"! Y-yeah…!"
Arcades were a divisive choice for an outing like this, but I was thrilled.
Not because I particularly liked arcades—I just loved going with friends. Ever since my past life.
Well… okay, back then, I was usually left out of group hangouts, and when I was invited, I mostly just got dragged along as the freeloader… But that’s exactly why I’d always harbored a quiet longing for it.
In this life, had I ever… gone to an arcade with friends…?
—Wait.
Had I?
I… couldn’t really remember…?
"Some things never change, huh…"
Moribe-kun muttered something under his breath.
I blinked.
"Huh?"
But he just shook his head, a small, unreadable smile on his face.
And after that... yeah, it was just... fun.
Failing miserably at the UFO catcher—then getting way too invested anyway.
Getting weirdly competitive in the shooting games, despite my age.
Almost going all-out on the punching machine before catching myself.
Even getting swept up in the moment and leaning in for a purikura photo together...
It had been so, so long since I'd done anything like this.
For a while, I caught myself wishing this could last forever.
Just for this moment, I could pretend everything else didn’t exist.
Once it was over, I’d have to go back to fighting. Atoning. Facing it all again.
I wasn’t running from that. But still.
It’s okay now.
Everything will be okay now.
From now on, he’ll help me. He’ll save me.
Starting tomorrow, all I have to do is rely on him. Follow his lead.
And just like that… days where nothing goes wrong will finally come.
After finishing one last game, Moribe-kun—no, Sabaki—looked a little worn out and said:
"Hey... wanna take a break?"
"Huh? I’m fine, but if Sabaki wants to—"
I clapped a hand over my mouth mid-sentence.
Wait.
What?
Why? Since when had I started casually calling him by his first name—without honorifics—?!
"A-ahhh, s-sorry, Moribe-kun! I didn’t mean to just drop the honorifics and—!"
"Nah, guess it was subconscious... I think I did it too at some point, so it’s whatever. Or rather—"
Scratching his cheek awkwardly, he added:
"—I like it better that way. I’m happier if you just call me Sabaki."
"Eh—? Ah—"
My head spun.
Out of nowhere, he’d said something like that—and it made me so happy, my heart wouldn’t stop pounding.
We left the arcade and found a quieter spot to sit.
Maybe embarrassed by his own words, he stayed silent.
Fiddling with my hair near my ear, I scrambled for a topic change and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"U-um... S-Sabaki... why did you invite me out today...?"
"Well... I had my own reasons. Like maybe you’d remember something, but..."
"?"
Tilting my head, I waited as he continued.
"You’re always... pushing yourself so hard. You seemed tense. I thought you could use a break."
"Eh—"
I remembered.
That morning, when I first realized he was the protagonist. Back when I still thought he was just an ordinary boy.
Without knowing the futility of my actions.
The consequences I deserved.
The things I needed to atone for.
—He simply praised me.
With plain, ordinary, yet genuine words:
"You're amazing for trying so hard."
Ah—
Ah—
No—
This is bad—I can’t—
I l—
"…!"
It’s not supposed to be like this.
It shouldn’t be like this.
Because I’m not real. I’m not a real girl.
So this—this feeling—it's—
Just as my thoughts threatened to boil over, thunder roared outside.
—Rain.
I hadn’t noticed it inside the arcade, but now, outside, the downpour was relentless. The sound grew heavier by the second, drumming against the pavement.
"…I'll go buy an umbrella."
"Eh, n-no, it's fine...! The station's right there, we can just run—"
"Nah. At this rate, we’d be soaked even sprinting. I’ve been meaning to get a spare for school anyway. Wait here."
He left, heading toward a nearby store, leaving me alone on the bench.
"…………"
I l— like him.
It’s impossible. It shouldn’t be. It can’t be.
But even so—I’m happy.
Someone who thinks about me.
Someone who cares about me.
The memory of my past life—the ones who pretended to care—made it hard to breathe. The ones who, as I lay dying, worried only about their own reputations.
Remembering them made my chest ache.
But he’s different.
Because he’s the protagonist.
Someone who truly thinks about me.
Someone who truly cares about me.
Someone who won’t give up on me.
…He’s real.
A real friend—the kind I never had in my past life.
The kind that shouldn’t exist outside of stories.
Unbreakable. Unshakable. Real.
He won’t betray me.
He’ll help me.
Play with me.
Praise me.
Be kind to me.
Value me.
Not superficially.
Not to use me.
Not to protect his own image.
—But with real, true feelings.
The ideal—
The ideal that could never be fake.
The ideal I’ve always—
"I'm back. Got a big one, so we can share."
His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
I looked up—and there he was.
Standing in the rain, holding an umbrella, smiling at me like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And in that moment, I knew.
No matter how much I denied it, no matter how impossible it was—
I love him.
Not as a character.
Not as a means to an end.
But as him.
And that’s why—
"Hey, you okay? You’re spacing out."
—I forced a smile.
Because this happiness?
It can’t last.
And when it ends—
I’ll be the one to break it.
"——'But how could someone like me ever be worthy of that?'"
A voice.
Someone else’s voice—yet it played back the very thoughts I'd locked away in my heart.
"‘Can you really call it genuine when you’re just leaning on them, relying on them for everything?’"
"‘Isn’t love and friendship supposed to be mutual support?’"
"‘Have you ever done anything for them, even once?’"
"‘And yet—?’"
"Kuh—ah—"
I whipped my head around.
Nothing.
No presence.
No aura.
No warning.
Yet someone was sitting right beside me.
Impossible.
No agent, no supernatural entity, could get this close—take my back—without me noticing.
No one.
I’d faced so many horrors that fear had long since dulled—yet now, my heart froze. My hands trembled.
A beautiful blonde woman.
At first, I mistook it for a nun’s habit—the black veil draped over her head had fooled me. But no.
A tailored black jacket.
A long, slit trench skirt.
I recognized her—the woman speaking with the commander the other day.
But that didn’t matter now.
"‘You don’t match at all.’"
"‘They can’t do everything alone either.’"
"‘You should be helping them, just like the others do.’"
"‘But you have no confidence you ever could.’"
"‘No—you know you can’t.’"
"‘You never could.’"
"St… stop…"
It hurt.
Like ice water had been forced into my arteries.
Memories of my past life surged—gameplay, cutscenes, the story.
Scenes of Misora Gotendō and Nishizaki shining for the protagonist’s sake—
Replaced with my face. My form.
—Only to crumble instantly.
The screen cracked.
The story broke.
I saw myself running away in the moments they mustered their courage.
I saw myself giving up in the scenes where they clawed back hope.
"Ah, my apologies. Not that I can read minds, you see. I simply… see people’s anxieties. But I don’t mean to hurt you. If anything, I’m speaking for your sake."
Rain.
A voice smooth as silk, cutting through the downpour.
A voice too smooth.
I couldn’t breathe. My chest burned.
The woman kept speaking, but the words blurred, slipping through me like water.
"Yes, you needn’t push yourself. Why waste effort on what you know is impossible? If it’s painful, you should stop. Giving up is the wiser choice. Don’t reach for ideals. Know your limits. Even if you don’t struggle, someone will surely save you—"
"—That’s enough."
A soft click—the sound of a hammer cocking.
Gasping, I looked up.
A tall woman in a black suit stood there, the barrel of a pitch-black pistol pressed against the nun’s temple.
"C-Commander…?"
Murmurs rippled through the surroundings, hushed and uncertain.
No one could believe it.
And yet, the blonde nun—unfazed—tilted her head up at the commander with mild surprise, as if only just noticing the gun against her skull.
"Mind not harassing my subordinate any further, Overdose?"
"My, my. Did I do something wrong again? I only meant well."
A tsk of annoyance. The commander dismissed the gun—likely a manifested object—into thin air.
"…Go, Zaijou."
"Eh? B-but—"
"Just go. Whatever she said—don’t take it to heart."
And then, without another word, she turned her back and walked away.
The nun followed.
As if nothing had happened.
Leaving me alone on the bench once more—no explanation, no closure.
"Go?"
Go where?
Unconsciously, my feet almost carried me toward the store—toward him.
But I stopped.
I forced myself to stop.
"…………"
…Ah.
Right.
I have to go visit Misora Gotendō.
The steady beep of the heart monitor echoed softly from the nurse’s station into the quiet hospital room.
Today, it was accompanied by another sound—the pitter-patter of raindrops dripping from my soaked bangs.
I was drenched. The outfit Nishizaki had picked for me was ruined.
I hadn’t taken the umbrella with me.
"…………"
Misora Gotendō lay with her eyes closed, unmoving.
She wasn’t in a coma—just bedridden, still conscious—but today… maybe she was asleep.
I sat down in the familiar round chair beside her bed.
At the sound, Misora’s eyes fluttered open, blank and unfocused… before slowly closing again, as if even that much was exhausting.
Lately, even the faintest flickers of emotion had faded from her face.
Of course.
It had already been four years like this—four years of being trapped in a body that wouldn’t move.
"…Um, Misora Gotendō…"
Weird. I’d meant to sound brighter than this.
"Actually, I… met the protagonist recently. We’ve gotten closer… and he really is as kind as I thought… So, soon… he’ll help us…"
A raindrop hit the floor.
"J-just a little longer… Just a little more, and everything will go back… the way it’s supposed to be… Not someone like me… but you, Misora Gotendō… as the real heroine… happy…"
The raindrops kept falling onto the hospital floor.
Long after I’d dried off, they kept falling.
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