Chapter 11: The Red-Haired Ponytail Girl Confesses

“I… I’ve stopped understanding what I wanted to do as a Curse Seeker.”

I used to be an ordinary person—until one day in my second year of middle school. From what I’ve heard, Curse Seekers often awaken their abilities through the influence of Deep Calamities and intense stress.

I’m… one of those people.

That day, sunlight slipped through breaks in the clouds.

I had my parents. And a little sister.

“Morning—”

“Good morning, Kisa. Breakfast’s already ready.”

“Kisa, you’ve got bedhead.”

“Huh? Seriously!?”

Just like always, I got up and started getting ready for school. It seemed my little sister was still asleep. Such a sleepyhead.

“Morning… big sis…”

“Mm, morning. Hurry up and get ready.”

“Mmm…”

She’s terrible in the mornings, so I always end up helping her. I wish she’d pull herself together a bit. I can’t take care of her forever.

“Alright, we’re heading out soon.”

“Wait, big sis! I haven’t put my shoes on yet!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll wait outside.”

I opened the door and idly checked my phone while I waited. I heard the click of the door opening behind me, so I put my phone away and turned to look at my sister—

And then—

My. Right. Beside. Me. A. Hand. Passed. Through.

Wearing. The. Same. Uniform. As. Mine.

Splorch.

A wet, crushing sound.

I didn’t understand right away that it was my sister’s torn-off arm.

When I turned around, the house was gone—crushed into rubble.

My house.

Even though Mom and Dad hadn’t come out yet.

I couldn’t understand anything.

The only thing I did understand… was that I could never forgive the distorted, flickering, outline-blurred monster standing before me.

A Deep Calamity—a creature I’d only ever heard about in rumors. It looked like a crab… at least, that much I could grasp. And that it had done this.

Rage lit a fire inside me.

I didn’t even know what I was angry at. Before I realized it, gauntlets had formed around both of my hands.

They say abilities are shaped by imagination—that what a person envisions becomes their power.

Burning with the violent emotions erupting inside me, I hurled everything forward with all I had.

In my first battle… breath spilled from my lips.

I won.

I did it.

Where was my sister?

Not knowing that the torn arm—and the lump of flesh buried beneath the rubble—was her, I kept searching.

For my father—his body lightened, split clean in half.

For my mother—who had somehow left her legs behind somewhere.

Even when I found them, I couldn’t believe it.

So I kept searching.

Where had my family gone?

I never found an answer.

Only time passed.

“Kisa… so this is where you were…”

Hours later, someone called out to me.

“…Uncle?”

Oh. Right. There was someone like that. If I remember correctly, he didn’t get along with my parents.

“Yeah, that’s right. Hurry up and evacuate. …Wait, could it be—you’ve become a Curse Seeker? Then that’s perfect. There are Deep Calamities crawling around here—it’s a nuisance.”

“…My family… they’re still—”

“You’re still looking for them? Who cares about the dead? Just come with me.”

…What is this guy saying?

Who cares about my family?

“Listen well. Your parents were useless. They went and died here, so now I’ve got to deal with you—a Curse Seeker—rotting away in a place like this.”

He just kept rambling. On and on.

“Ugh, enough already! Just come!”

He grabbed my hand.

It hurt.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

“Hey, Kurokawa-san, you done over there yet?”

“Ooh, that girl’s kinda cute.”

A group of people came trailing in behind my uncle. What are they? His friends?

“Sorry about that. My niece isn’t very obedient. Hey, Kisa! Greet them!”

He yanked me forward, forcing me to face them.

Their vulgar gazes crawled over my body.

Even in a situation like this… what are they trying to do to me?

“Hey, Kurokawa-san. We’re not into students, you know.”

“Eh, but she’s a Curse Seeker—doesn’t that make it fine?”

Their crude laughter grated against my ears.

Was he… going to hand me over to them?

My family… they’re all dead already.

That’s right.

They’re all dead.

And yet… things like this get to live?

Unforgivable.

The fire inside me ignited once more.

After that… I don’t remember much. Another Deep Calamity attacked, and apparently I was the only one who survived. They say I defeated it… unconsciously.

But sometimes I wonder…

What if I was the one who killed those people?

Even now, that thought won’t leave me.

In any case, what was left behind… was an empty shell.

Me.

A child with no real understanding of why she lives.

So I wear a mask—a cheerful girl. I mimic who I used to be, so I don’t let what’s buried deep inside surface.

I can’t forgive the Deep Calamities that killed my family.

So I decided to live as a Curse Seeker.

To keep fighting.

That… is my story up until I entered high school.

Even after joining the team, the hatred inside me never faded.

And when I saw Akegami Yuri, I understood immediately.

She’s the same as me—someone who has lost everything.

She hides it behind that intense personality…

But the emptiness trembling in her eyes gave her away.

And yet… this girl genuinely enjoys her days, as if everything is fine.

…Why?

You’ve been robbed too—so how can you live so differently from me?

Even when I asked her out, calling it a date… it was the same. Not a single shadow crossed her face. She hid those feelings perfectly.

Why?

…I wish I could’ve enjoyed everyday life like that too.

That’s when I realized it.

In the end, I’m empty.

There’s nothing inside me.

Little by little, I stopped understanding why I’m even alive. Why was I the one who survived?

Everything I did after that—ignoring Yuri, going overboard when attacking Deep Calamities—it was all just me lashing out.

I thought someone like me shouldn’t be alive… and yet Shinazaki-kun saved me. If the world had been full of people like him, maybe I wouldn’t have turned out this way.

“—That’s about it.”

I sorted through my thoughts and told them everything.

It was a bit hard to talk about in front of Yuri, so I asked her to step out. I only told Shinazaki-kun and Reina.

Both of them fell silent.

Well… of course they did. It’s not exactly an easy story to respond to.

Even Reina—who usually shows almost no expression—was looking down, her face filled with quiet pain.

“Sorry… that got kind of heavy.”

“…No. I’m the one who said I wanted to hear it.”

The bandages wrapped around Shinazaki-kun’s hand flickered at the edge of my vision.

A sharp pang of guilt pricked my chest.

—Then, suddenly, something soft wrapped around me.

Huh… what is this?

Reina was hugging me.

Wait—why? Since when was that her kind of character?

But… it’s warm.

The tension in my body melted away, just like that.

“You’ve done well… all this time.”

“…!”

Tears welled up.

…So I can cry, huh? What a stupid thought.

Ahh… this is embarrassing.

I lost control, got stopped, hurt someone—and now I’m here bawling my eyes out.

How pathetic.

“…Have you calmed down?”

“Yeah… sorry.”

I pulled away from Reina. If I stayed like that any longer, I felt like I’d fall apart.

“Man… I cried a lot. Don’t go making people cry like that.”

I forced out a laugh to cover it up. My face probably looked awful—I didn’t want them to see it too closely.

“You’re not going to tell Akegami Yuri about this?”

“Mm… eventually.”

“I see.”

…It’s just, after taking it out on her, it’s a bit awkward to face her.

But I should apologize.

“Thank you… both of you.”

A natural smile softened my face.

It felt like the first time in a long while that I’d smiled from the heart.

…Ahh, how stupid.

Even with this almost touching atmosphere, I’m still empty inside.

But after going wild like that, I do feel a little better.

Guess this is my version of self-harm… or something.

…Anyway, I should apologize to Yuri too. It’d be awkward if things stayed like this.

And next time I start losing control—

Make sure you stop me, okay, Shinazaki-kun?