Chapter 7: Things That Can't Change, Things That Won't Change

 "Elsie-san! W-would you like to have lunch together?!"

"Huh? Oh... sure, okay."

"Yes!"

Sherry’s pale green hair bounced as she beamed with joy.

My partner... no, my former partner.

"I heard amber brooches are really popular in town right now!"

"Huh, really?"

"Yes! So, um... if you'd like, maybe we could go shopping together?!"

"...Yeah, sure. Do you already know which one you want?"

"Eh? Wait, Elsie-san, you're buying one too, right?"

"Nah, I'm good..."

"Ehh?! Come on, let’s get matching ones!"

She was timid yet oddly persistent. A kind, adorable girl.

We became partners at our mentors' suggestion, but it wasn’t just out of duty.

She made an effort to get close to me.

So, I met her halfway.

As partners, we spent more and more time together.

"Alright! Let’s head out for the mission together!"

"...Did you get the train tickets yet?"

"Tickets? Oh! N-not yet... S-sorry!"

"...Well, whatever. Let’s go buy them together."

"Y-yes!"

Wherever we went—

"I bought some scented candles! Can I come to your room tonight?"

"...Why my room?"

"For a girls' night, of course!"

"...You do remember last time? When we tried making pancakes and nearly started a fire?"

"N-no worries! It won’t flare up that much! ...Probably."

Whatever we did—

"These cupcakes are delicious!"

"Yeah."

"Ah, um... yours looks really good too..."

"...Want a bite?"

"Oh, no no! Don’t mind me—... S-sorry! Just one bite! Munch—"

"...Sherry, your 'one bite' just took out half of mine."

"Mmmf mmmf mmmf!"

"...Swallow first, then talk."

"Gulp!"

We were always together.

Fighting demons. Watching each other’s backs.

No matter how bad things got, we pulled through.

Yeah.

I really thought that as long as we were together, we could do anything.

I thought... that would never change.

But then—

The sight burned into my eyes—Sherry, broken and bleeding.

"...Elsie... sa... n..."

She lay in a pool of her own blood.

We hadn’t been careless.

It was just a matter of skill.

A fair outcome.

The demon was simply stronger.

I failed to dodge.

And Sherry saved me.

Before I could activate my Miracle Sign, she shielded me.

"I’m... sorry... No, it’s not... your fault... You shouldn’t... blame yourself..."

Even if I’d been hurt, I could’ve healed.

...If she hadn’t thrown herself in the way, I would’ve just paid with my lifespan.

But Sherry didn’t know that.

Because I never told her.

So the truth was—

"...Please... don’t... blame yourself... Elsie... san..."

Her eyes, once full of life, now empty.

Her neatly polished nails, cracked.

Her smooth skin, now covered in bruises and gashes.

I understood.

Her death was right in front of me.

"...Is it... okay...? I know it’s too late now, but... can I... just call you... Elsie... one last time?"

I desperately tried to heal her.

But nothing worked.

No miracle could save her now.

"...Thank you... Elsie..."

I called her name.

"Really... really..."

Over and over.

Again and again.

But—

No reply ever came.

The cheerful voice that always called out to me.

The flustered voice that always tried to explain things away.

I would never hear them again.

Because she was dead.

Because she died protecting me.

Why did Sherry have to die?

Why did she shield me?

Was it just because we were partners?

No—it couldn’t have been just that.

Sherry and I were best friends.

We cherished each other.

And that was why.

She cared too much.

And because of that, she was gone.

In this world—this so-called "depression simulator"—I wanted to erase suffering.

Yet in the end... I was the one who caused it.

It was my fault that—

"...Elsie, don’t blame yourself. This wasn’t your doing."

I didn’t want Floira’s comfort.

I wanted her anger.

Her hate.

That would have been easier to bear.

"...Say your goodbyes properly. If you don’t, you’ll regret it."

I lowered Sherry’s body—barely recognizable—into the coffin.

She died because of me.

Because I was careless.

I was born into this world, saved by my parents, and survived.

I swore I’d help others, even if it meant grinding myself to dust.

But I got complacent.

I let someone get close.

I hesitated to sacrifice my own lifespan and forced her to overextend instead.

So—

This tragedy—

Is my fault.

I shoveled dirt over her grave.

Burying her.

Burying happy memories.

Burying my own weakness.

So I’d never grow close to anyone again.

So no one would ever care about me again.

I made sure of it.

Cold. Cruel. Arrogant.

I became someone no one could love.

So no one would ever try to protect me.

And yet.

And yet—

It was supposed to work.

I looked down at Yuri, lying unconscious on the bed.

After the battle with the demon on the beach, I had treated his wounds.

I had learned how—through regret, through grief—after losing Sherry.

But exhaustion remained.

He had fought in close combat. I hadn’t.

So I carried him back to the church.

Dawn had broken, but he still hadn’t woken.

I sat beside him, watching his sleeping face.

A young man, still carrying traces of boyishness.

A fresh scar from the battle marked his cheek.

Without thinking, I traced it with my finger.

Gently. Carefully.

"...Yuri."

His name left my lips before I could stop it.

Last night replayed in my mind.

Yuri, shielding me.

Me, exhausted and weak, letting my true feelings slip.

Both unbearable.

I thought he hated me.

After everything, he should have.

At the very least, I assumed he felt nothing.

Yet he had sacrificed himself to save me.

No one asked him to. No one wanted him to.

But he did it anyway.

Nothing had changed.

Not since back then.

I thought I had changed.

Told myself I had.

But I hadn’t.

I made the same mistake again.

Kept making it.

...I can’t let him stay as my partner.

I don’t want him caring about me.

And I don’t want to care about him.

Mistakes must be corrected.

This is goodbye.

I stood up, grabbed my bag.

Left the return ticket on the desk.

And walked out.

Morning light streamed through the windows.

I narrowed my eyes.

Tired. Numb.

I left the church—

"Oh? Elsie-san? Are you leaving already?"

Oven, the priest.

"...We killed the demon. So I’m going home. Problem?"

"Ah, of course! The fishermen can return to the sea in peace... but what about Yuri-san?"

"Still asleep. So... yeah, look after him when he wakes up, will you?"

"Eh? Well, certainly, but... you’re leaving alone?"

"What’s it to you? Got a complaint?"

Sleep-deprived, my glare must’ve been sharper than usual.

Oven scratched his cheek, awkward.

"N-No, but... did you two have a fight?"

A fight?

No.

I was just pushing him away.

Something worse than a fight.

"No. But I might never want to see his face again."

"...I see."

His expression shifted—subtle concern beneath his usual calm.

"Can I go now?" I sighed. "I’d rather not waste any more time."

I stepped past him.

But he moved—just slightly—just enough to block me.

Not forcefully.

Just one step.

Leaving me space to shove past if I really wanted to.

"...What?"

I could ignore him.

But his serious gaze made that difficult.

"Forgive me. This may be unwanted advice... but I think you should talk to Yuri-san properly."

"Hah? Why?"

"Because right now, you look less like a warrior who slays demons... and more like a lost lamb."

"Really unwanted advice... Why the hell should I take life tips from you?"

"Did you know? I may be a priest now, but I was once a pastor too."

"...Tch."

I clicked my tongue, stepping past him.

He didn’t stop me.

But just as I left, his voice followed—

"Elsie-san. Feelings, thoughts, wishes... I believe they have a better chance of coming true when spoken honestly to others."

"…………"

"Silent thoughts don’t reach people. We were given words precisely to share our feelings."

"...Even so, there are things in this world you can’t say. No matter how much you want to."

I retorted, irritated by his unsolicited advice. Yet Priest Oven didn’t frown—he simply nodded, his smile unwavering.

"Yes, I know."

"Then—"

"But you and Yuri-san are partner buddies, aren’t you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

I scowled, but Oven only smiled wider.

"I’m no exorcist, so I only know a little. But even I understand that 'partner buddies' share a special bond."

"…………"

"In that case... I’m certain he’d understand your troubles."

"...Yuri and I aren’t partners anymore."

I turned my back on him again.

His voice followed.

"Elsie-san, is there anything you’d like me to tell the children?"

"…………"

I almost snapped out a reflexive "no."

But instead... I hesitated.

Then, softly—

"Tell them... thank you."

Just that.

A simple phrase of gratitude.

Not the kind of farewell a temporary teacher should leave.

But I wanted to say it anyway.

Because, for a little while... playing teacher had been fun.

"Understood. I’ll let them know."

"...You don’t have to."

"Please visit again."

"...If I feel like it."

I had no intention of ever coming back.

Dismissing his words, I walked away—

Back to the Holy Leyline.

"...Still such a kind soul, aren't you?"

Ignoring the quiet murmur behind me, I tightened my grip on the return ticket.

---

Blurred memories.

A muddled haze.

A body weighed down by exhaustion.

Perceiving all this at once... I opened my eyes.

A familiar ceiling.

The church in Welapoli.

"Gh...!"

I kicked off the blanket and forced myself upright.

My body resisted.

Sweat clung to my skin.

...Taking a slow breath, I scanned the room.

No one else was there.

Sunlight streamed through the window.

Morning, then.

"...Huh?"

I cradled my head, sorting through the fog.

Yesterday—Elsie and I went to slay the demon.

We couldn't finish it.

I shielded Elsie.

"............"

My fingers brushed my lips.

Something soft.

Faint warmth. The taste of blood.

But more than that—

"...Elsie."

Her tear-streaked face.

Her voice, raw with emotion.

The confessions. The regrets. The words meant to push me away.

I finally understood.

It wasn’t just that "a comrade died."

It was that "a comrade died protecting her."

So no one else would try to save her.

Why does she treat her own life so lightly?

"............"

Elsie had slain the demon alone.

In that moment, she was stronger than ever.

She hides it, but... she must be a Saint, bearing a Miracle Sign.

Is that why she disregards her own life?

I don’t know.

I have to ask.

We have to talk.

I need to understand the reason behind her tears.

Swinging my legs off the bed, I tried to stand—only to stagger.

She healed me, but I’m still not at full strength.

Fatigue lingers.

I probably need half a day’s rest.

But I don’t have that kind of time.

"Elsie...?"

Her name left my lips in a hoarse whisper as I scanned the room again.

Her belongings—gone.

On the desk, a return train ticket.

...That was her message.

Her rejection.

'I hate you, Yuri!'

'We’re not partners anymore!'

'Don’t you dare act like my comrade again!'

The words she spat before I blacked out resurfaced.

I picked up the ticket, staring at it.

I don’t regret shielding her.

But my actions hurt her more deeply than I realized—enough to leave a wound on my heart too.

To her, I’m no longer a partner.

She doesn’t want me chasing after her.

So if I go now... it would just be self-indulgence.

Knowing her pain, her sorrow, wanting to save her—that’s my selfishness.

Would I only hurt her again...?

"...What should I do?"

I don’t know.

Maybe it’s because I’m still immature.

I couldn’t even protect someone precious to me.

I don’t even understand why she’s hurting.

What good is someone like me—?

Click. The door opened.

The town’s priest stood there.

"...Oven... san."

"Oh, you’re awake! Yuri-san."

The stocky, middle-aged man carried a small glass pitcher of water.

"...Um, about Elsie—"

"Yuri-san. Yourself first... Here, your throat must be parched."

He held out the pitcher.

I took it.

Drank.

I must’ve been asleep a long time.

It tasted... incredible.

"Hah… Thank you, Owen."

"No need to thank me. You're the hero who saved this town, after all."

I let out a small, wry smile.

"The credit for defeating the demon belongs to Elsie. I… I didn’t do anything."

"Is that so? Well, you may think that, but neither I nor the people of this town feel the same way."

"……"

Owen sighed quietly.

"As for Elsie… She boarded the train at dawn. She’s already returned to the Holy Land."

"…Elsie? She left? Without me?"

"Yes. She even said she never wanted to see your face again."

"…I see."

I lowered my gaze.

I knew she would reject me. I had known all along.

But knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.

She wants nothing from me.

No—she wants me to do nothing at all.

So—

"But—"

Owen’s voice cut through my thoughts.

"That was, without a doubt, her true feeling. She genuinely doesn’t want to see you again."

"…I knew it."

"However, that’s not all there is to it."

"…What? What do you mean?"

I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand what he was trying to say.

"Human emotions are complex. A single event doesn’t always carry a single meaning. Sometimes, conflicting emotions exist at the same time. That’s only natural."

"…Um, I still don’t get it…"

"That’s fine. You don’t need to understand everything. Just remember one thing."

One thing…?

"Rational conclusions and emotional desires—those two things can contradict each other. And Elsie, without a doubt, chose the former."

"…So, her rejecting me… That was her reason speaking?"

"Yes. Because Elsie… she’s kind to you, isn’t she? If she truly wanted to reject you completely, there would be no need for kindness."

"…That’s true, but…"

I nodded.

She acted like she wanted to be hated, yet she couldn’t fully commit to it.

That was Elsie.

"I called it 'reason' earlier. But that doesn’t mean it’s the right choice. In fact, it’s closer to a misconception."

"…Even so, the fact remains—she rejected me. So… what am I supposed to do?"

I looked to Owen for an answer.

Surely, he would know the right thing to do.

"Who knows? I certainly don’t."

I blinked in surprise.

Owen’s expression turned serious.

"You mustn’t rely on me—or her—to tell you what to do. The decision is yours, Yuri. Only you can make it."

"…Me?"

Owen pointed at my chest.

"Yes. You worry too much about others. You’re afraid of hurting someone. She’s the same way, you know."

"…Is that really such a bad thing?"

"No. Kindness and consideration are virtues. But a person’s choices don’t have to be so complicated."

Then, he pointed to my head.

"All that matters is 'what you want to do.' You can’t keep looking to others for a reason. You have to walk the path you choose, with your own feet, following the map drawn in your own mind."

"My own… feet…"

Maybe, all this time, I had been looking for a reason not to chase after her.

Being rejected once hurt too much. I didn’t want to be rejected again.

And so, without realizing it, I had been blaming my inaction on her.

I slapped my cheeks.

A dry sound echoed in the room.

"…Owen. Thank you. I needed that."

"Heh… Think nothing of it."

"I'm going after Elsie. I don’t know what I’ll say to her, but… I don’t want to leave her alone."

"I’ll be rooting for you, Yuri."

Owen smiled. I nodded.

I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

My steps were heavy.

Because I was exhausted.

My steps were light.

Because I no longer hesitated.

Feeling the disconnect between my body and spirit, I turned back to Owen and bowed deeply.

"Thank you, Owen. For everything."

"…No, thank you. You’ve done more for us than you realize. And I hope… you and Elsie can find your way back to each other."

I grabbed my ticket and pushed open the church doors.

One last bow.

Then, I ran toward the station.

---

I took a bite of the breakfast I had prepared for Yuri.

Outside the window, Welapoli stretched before me, unchanged.

The townspeople were as weary as ever. Their spirits had not lifted in recent days.

But that would end today.

Elsie and Yuri had defeated the demon.

Once the news spread, the town would surely regain its former energy.

"…How pathetic, for an adult to be like this."

Two young exorcists, barely more than children.

And yet, I had placed such a heavy burden upon them.

They wouldn’t want to be treated like children—I knew that.

But even so, as an adult, there were things I had to do.

Things I had to do—for their sake.

I reached for the locket hanging over my chest and opened it.

Inside was a photo of me in my younger days, alongside my late wife and daughter.

A memory both precious and painful. Impossible to forget.

I closed the locket and tucked it away once more.

Perhaps I was trying to soothe the pain of losing my own child by helping others.

Perhaps my desire to act as a father had simply been redirected into good deeds.

Even taking in orphans at the church—perhaps that, too, was just me forcing my own desires onto them.

It was hypocrisy.

Nothing worthy of praise.

But even so, if it meant saving even one more child, then that was enough for me.

When a child is lost, it is an adult’s duty to guide them.

I had failed to do so for my own.

And so—

I meddled in their affairs.

Because both of them were lost.

Something was missing from each of them.

Not just Elsie, but Yuri as well.

I had hoped that in this short time, I could help them in some way.

But ten days was not enough to change a person.

Even so… if I could at least give them a push in the right direction—

That alone would be worth it.

With a small sigh, I clasped my hands together.

I am not a man of faith.

I wear the robes of a priest, but I do not believe in the presence of God.

If an all-powerful, benevolent deity existed, then tragedy would not exist in this world.

My wife and child would still be alive.

The orphans would still have parents.

Isn’t that right?

If there was truly a God who blessed the good, then those who suffered misfortune must all be sinners.

That is why I do not believe.

There is no God in this world.

And yet… I could not stop myself from praying.

"…May those two find happiness in their future… No, if nothing else, may they at least find an end without regret."

Even if I did not believe.

Even if there was nothing to gain from it.

If nothing else, I wanted to pray—for them.

The sound of the church doors opening echoed through the hall.

"Good morning, Father!"

"Oh? Is it that time already?"

"…Where’s Miss Elsie?"

"She has already left."

"What?! She didn’t even say goodbye?"

I stepped down from the pulpit and approached them.

"No, she didn’t… but she left a message."

"What did she say?"

"Kevin, let’s wait until the others arrive first."

I gently ruffled the child’s hair and urged him forward.