Chapter 11: Farewell, Hanazono Household! Welcome Back to the Usual Routine (?!)

In the end, the baby clothes couldn't be returned, so I'll eventually have to wear them. What a nightmare. At least if I were a baby...! Wait no, that'd be bad too. Unless Kusuri-senpai makes some kind of drug for that...actually, she totally could. She'd absolutely make it...or rather, she could easily make it normally.

Man...today was something else...way too much crazy shit for one day. Well, at least everything worked out in the end...

After that, they made me wear this fluffy pajama set, which was at least better than before...and weirdly, I stopped feeling uncomfortable in them. Thinking back now, were my senses glitching or something?!

By the way, the pajamas came with dog ears and a tail. Kusuri-senpai was wagging the tail, so I tried copying her and somehow made it work. Whoa...didn't know I could do this stuff. Think I can move the ears a little too.

Right before bed, we played cards, but during the game, Hahari-san slipped away, and Rentarou who chased after her was gone for a while doing something. Hmm. No idea what happened...but it's probably fine. Maybe they were just talking? Judging by Rentarou's face, it wasn't anything concerning—might even be something we should know about...but this feels like something we should hear from him directly. Got it, Rentarou.

Oh, and when Rentarou and I had a whole conversation through eye contact, Karane gave us this weird look. More like called us out on it. Don't get why. I mean, it's efficient, right? Why not use words? Well...some things are better kept private, y'know?

No no, it's not that kind of conversation, Hahari-san, wipe your drool please. It's not some unspeakable secret or anything.

Is this guy okay? Surprised he's kept his impulses in check this long... Actually, now that I think about it, there were some suspicious moments...but whatever. Forget it.

---

Now, the stage finally shifts to the bedroom. It's time to sleep. In the wholesome sense, obviously. Honestly, even if it were the other meaning... well, with Rentarou, it'd probably be fine—or so I catch myself thinking, but since he himself has no such intentions, we'll pass. Actually, drawing those kinds of urges out of him in his current state would be insanely difficult. The guy's brain isn't filled with lust—it's packed with love. If you were to visualize it... it'd probably look something like this?

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovefriendshiplovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovefriendshiplovelovelovelustlovelovelovefriendshiplovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovefriendshiplovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

Hmm... this is hardly the shape of a normal human's thought process. Lust is buried way too deep in there. Though I am a little happy to see the occasional "friend" mixed in. Huh? You're saying affection counts as love too? Well, sure, I guess? Fine, then "friend" can just be "love" too.

lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove

...ALRIGHT! Wait, no, not alright! At this point, dragging it out of him is straight-up impossible. Quit cramming every inch with nothing but love—I mean, I'm happy about it, but still!! Well, at least you get the picture: his heart's an impenetrable fortress. Sooner or later, we're gonna have to smash that castle to bits...! Might as well start preparing siege weapons in the meantime... I did install a backdoor, so I could draw out his lust once if I had to, but...

But damn... a bed, huh? I can't sleep well unless it's on a futon—I'll just roll right off...! And honestly, squeezing into the middle with the girls around is scary 'cause who knows what my sleep-kicking might do. No choice... guess I'll have to pull out that move...!

"Please, both of you...! That thing!"

"You mean that, right, Kawaru-san? The one we used on Shizuka-chan...!"

"Got it... I'll make it extra sturdy!"

.

.

.

...Done. That thing I was doing earlier when restraining Shizuka. It's like how she looked when she came rolling into the bathroom. Apparently it's called "Maki-Shizu-chan". I like that naming style. Well, if someone's getting rolled up, it's gotta be me... This is it!

Finished! The Kawaru California Roll!

This'll work! With this, I won't... no, WE won't suffer from everyone's bad sleeping habits anymore!

(Note: In the end, due to sleeping habits, everyone (except Shizuka) ended up getting rolled up and rolling all over each other before somehow ending up outside. The hell...?)

Rewinding time slightly to late at night. I woke up to find myself on top of Rentarou for some reason. The vibration of him waking up underneath me must have roused me too. Huh? Bathroom? Yeah yeah, got it......... Oh crap, I can't move on my own. I was moving earlier without realizing it somehow. How the hell did I manage to move like this...?!

Somehow Rentarou carried me back to my original position and disaster was averted (not really averted. Another rampage followed shortly after).

---

After leaving the chaotic Hanazono household behind for a bit, we found ourselves at a school assembly.

"Starting today, I, Hanazono Hahari, will be taking over as the school's chairwoman! ❤"

"Ooooh! Okaa-sama!!"

"That was… NOT something I could’ve predicted!!"

So that’s how it is, huh…? I never even considered it, let alone saw it coming. Wait a second—now that I think about it, Rentarou was heading to the Hanazono house earlier… Did we just miss each other?

Why am I here even though I was on leave? Simple. Something about… my legal records changing after turning into a girl, school registration stuff… Hahari-san took care of all of it. That woman is scary capable. I’m in no position to complain anymore. Guess I’ll just quietly accept whatever baby clothes or whatever else she throws at me. Still…

Honestly? I’ve got zero knowledge of the original story from this point onward. Well, even before this, I was piecing things together from near the end or just plain clueless, so relying on that wouldn’t mean much anyway. At best, I know about the 101 Girlfriends thing… Wait, no, I did hear that directly. Though I don’t think I was ever explicitly told that failing to unite with your destined partner leads to misfortune and death… Probably. Not that it matters. Since my partner’s Rentarou, there’s nothing in particular I need to worry about.

---

—A few days later.

The usual rooftop gang had gathered—everyone except Rentarou. Apparently, Hakari had something to discuss. What could it be? I don’t think anything major’s happened… But if it’s something we can’t tell Rentarou, it must be pretty serious.

"Listen up, everyone! They say the 'honeymoon phase' for couples typically lasts about three months. And do you know how many chapters this series is up to now?"

"Huh…? Uh… It updates once a day, so…"

"The early chapters had two updates a day!"

"Only for the first two days. Including this one, we’re at 11 chapters."

"And your point is…?"

"W-Well, you see…"

"Are you trying to match the original’s pacing but struggling because the chapter count doesn’t line up?"

"………If this were a weekly series, 11 chapters would mean roughly three months! So, in a way, it’s been three months!"

"That’s some desperate mental gymnastics right there…"

"I’ve only been dating him for three chapters, you know?"

Hmm. Even if she’s forcing the comparison, the "honeymoon phase" ending, huh…? Well, as someone with 10 chapters of girlfriend experience and 9 years of best-friend history, this whole thing feels kinda distant to me. Like, Rentarou hitting a "boredom phase"? The world would flip upside down before that ever happened. Hell, he’d be the one flipping it.

["But still… the idea of a 'boredom phase' is scary."]

"Rentarou… growing cold toward us…?!"

"A terrifying thought…!"

"Exactly! Which is why—to avoid this phase—we need to keep him hooked by showing off new charms!"

I see. Pointing out how unnecessary this is would just kill the mood. And well… "new charms," huh? Not like I’m against the idea. The more Rentarou likes me, the better. But… how exactly are we supposed to—

"That’s why I asked Kusuri-senpai to develop a new drug to enhance our appeal!"

"Almost done… A drug to become a new me… one that can outshine Kentucky Fried Ch—!"

"This is about the honeymoon phase, Kusuri-senpai."

A… drug? Oh no. This is definitely going to go wrong. She didn’t even try hiding "Kentucky" properly. Why only censor one letter?! Wait, is this actually kinda dangerous? Maybe I should just tell them outright—there’s no way Rentarou would ever get bored—

"Oops. My bad. Failed."

…Ah.

---

“What’s going on, everyone?! I heard an explosion and ran over!”

Cough-cough!

“Ugh… my chest feels so heavy!”

“Who… are you?”

“Wait, is that Kusuri (me) right in front of me?!”

“Don’t tell me…”

“We’ve all switched bodies?!”

What the hell is this? What just happened? Did the drug’s effects swap our personalities… no, our souls?! If that’s the case, we’ve gotta fix this fast. By the way, novels and JAS○AC regulations are a pain, so we’re cutting the “previous-previous○ life” stuff. The lyrics fit me? In a way, yeah. But I’m still missing two past lives, so no dice.

“W-Wait, hold on! Nobody knows who’s who right now! Who the heck switched with who?!”

“…Ah!”

At that moment, Hanazono Hakari—currently inside Seibetsu Kawaru’s body—had a flash of inspiration. Right now, if I do something to Rentarou, it won’t be traced back to me! And conveniently, she’d ended up in Kawaru’s body. Even if she got a little closer than usual, it’d be forgiven. Heck, she could probably even hug him out of nowhere and get away with it. Plus, if she “accidentally” tripped into him, it’d look totally natural.

What a miracle. Was this the reward for her good behavior? Or was it the author’s apology for shafting her screen time despite being the lead of the Hanazono arc? Whatever the case, she wasn’t about to waste this chance.

But… there was one catch. The speech pattern. If she didn’t mimic Kawaru’s way of talking, Rentarou would notice something was off. Basking in divine authorial favor, Hakari adjusted her tone and prepared to “trip” into Rentarou while sniffing him like crazy—

“This body’s so hard to control—?!”

Yes! Perfect! Her acting was flawless, the stumble was seamless. There was no way he’d see through it. As Rentarou caught her, she marveled at how much broader his chest felt from Kawaru’s shorter height, ready to savor the moment—

“You okay, Hakari?”

“Huh? Oh… y-yeah…”

And just like that—utter defeat. Her performance had been perfect, but she’d made one fatal miscalculation:

“…That’s how it is. Got it, Rentarou?”

“Yeah… So Kusuri-senpai made a drug to help Hakari and me avoid a rough patch, but it backfired and swapped everyone’s bodies… That about sum it up?”

…Kawaru. This guy’s telepathy wasn’t tied to his body at all. Switching places changed nothing. While his explanation helped clarify things, it completely ruined Hakari’s plans.

She’d specifically picked Kawaru’s body because their years of friendship meant she could get away with more physical contact. If only Kawaru hadn’t been here, she might’ve enjoyed herself a little longer… but then again, this was her body to begin with. Tough break.

“Got it! Anyway, I’m in Kusuri-senpai’s body… Maybe there’s an antidote in her clothes…”

“The antidote’s in the right pocket! Also, Rentarou, you can tell who Kusuri is?!”

“You just outed yourself, and the only person who’d know where the antidote is would be her… You really didn’t learn from the Kiss Zombie incident, huh?”

Hmm. So far, it seems like: Me (Hakari), Kusuri-senpai (Me), Nano (Kusuri-senpai)…?

“Ngh… I gotta pee…”

“Drug Queen Kusuri, I am not wearing diapers. Urinating as-is would be illogical.”

Ah. So Nano’s in Karane’s body. Meaning Karane (Nano)… What’s with that face?! Did her expression just short-circuit from tsundere overload? …Nah, she’s just talking like Nano.

“…………”

“Hahari-san is smiling so much!”

“Wait… is that Shizuka?!”

“Youth…! I can be this energetic now?!”

“Over here, it’s Hahari-san!”

“Here, Shizuka-chan, I’ll give this back to you.”

[Such bliss… Now I’m fully prepared.]

Okay, it’s coming together… Hahari-san has Shizuka inside her, and Shizuka has Hahari-san. So if Hahari-san (Shizuka) and Shizuka (Hahari-san) are accounted for, that leaves… Hakari (Karane).

“Hwah…! These are… Ngh?! What is this…?! S-So weird…!”

Hakari (in Karane’s body) groped the massive chest she’d never had before. Her voice was different too… The Hanazono genes are on another level of dangerous!

This is rough. In a novel, you’d usually rely on speech patterns to tell who’s who, but this time, even that’s unreliable. Without visuals, conveying the body-swap chaos is a nightmare!

---

"Alright… how do we get everyone back to normal?"

"For now, I'll try taking the antidote. If this doesn’t work, we’ll have to think of something else… Ngh?!"

"Wait, if you take the antidote while in Kusuri’s body…!"

"…A-And now I’ve turned into big Kusuri-senpai?!"

…Right. My small, familiar frame had been replaced with a tall, heavy body. What the hell is with this chest weight?! My vision’s worse, too… Yeah, this is hard to move in! And my soul still hasn’t switched back! So the antidote was useless after all…!

"Any other ideas…?"

[Ancient texts suggest pressing foreheads together.]

"That’s it!"

Oh, come on… Like some old-school method would—

"Hyah—!"

[That hurt, bro-nyan!]

—Yeah, no. Didn’t work. Kusuri-senpai (me) and Hahari-san (Shizuka) tried banging heads, but nothing happened. Though, at least we didn’t start bleeding…? The bump just vanished. Phew. Tougher than I thought. Or maybe we just didn’t hit hard enough. If we had, I’d definitely be the one with a split forehead—happens sometimes when I trip. Heals by morning, though.

But how do we reverse this? It’s not even one-to-one swaps… Ugh.

"What if we try this? Rentarou-kun, a kiss! It’s the only way!"

"Shizuka’s face saying something that wild is something."

"Hanazono Hahari, please don’t make that face with that expression."

"You just wanna kiss him yourself, don’tcha?!"

"There there, Rentarou-kun… Good boy, good boy~ You’ve earned a reward… ❤︎"

Rentarou, obediently resting his head on Shizuka’s (Hahari's) lap, got his hair stroked—then kissed. Ohhh… So this is what you’ve discovered. The concept of… "babumi"! Look at that blush. But damn… Let me read your mind. Hmm… "Motherly Shizuka," huh? That’s… dangerously close to corruption. Good thing she’s body-swapped.

Fwoosh…

And now Shizuka’s soul is floating out of her head. Oh, so that’s how we do it—THE HELL IT IS?! Are you stupid?! Why would that work?! …Eh, whatever.

"Her soul’s coming out?!"

"Miracles do happen…"

"Our souls are unstable right now…! And the theory says kissing makes you lightheaded because your soul’s halfway out—"

"…What theory?"

The hell kinda theory is that? Still… seeing souls like this is a good experience. Might come in handy later.

"Now we know how to switch back. Efficiency first."

"…?!"

"Don’t fluster. Kiss. Now."

Fwoosh…

Whoa. Karane (Nano) isn’t holding back. Went straight for the chin lift, too. Is this "Cool Karane"? Normally a tsundere, but now she’s blunt and icy. That gap’s gotta be brutal for Rentarou, who’s already reeling…!

"Kusuri’s turn now!"

"…?! Hngh?!"

"Kusuri gets hugs and kisses, nyah!"

Fwoosh…

Next up was Kusuri (in Nano’s body). That usually cool face melted into pure, giddy joy as she clung to him and kissed him. Yeah, that’s lethal firepower. "Loli Nano"… underestimated at your peril…!

"Hmph! Hurry up and get this over with! If we don’t switch back soon, my body’s gonna… hngh…!"

Whoops. Hakari (in Karane’s body) was at her limit. Can’t blame her. She rushed the kiss, trembling like a leaf—then her soul floated free with the expression of someone who’d just endured something. Good job holding out. If she’d cracked, this might’ve tipped into 18+ territory. But "Tsundere Hakari"? Now that’s rare…!

[U-Um… p-please take care of me…]

Hahari-san (Shizuka) fidgeted with an uncharacteristically timid look. What is this expression?! Not her usual vibe—there’s a flicker of vulnerability here. A pure, defenseless face that makes you wanna protect her. N-Not that the original’s impure or anything! …Okay, maybe a little. Wait, what was I—? "Small Animal Hahari-san"? Is this a whole new world…?!

"My turn now!"

"Whoa… so girly…!"

"Hey, that phrasing makes it sound like I’m not usually girly! …Wait, am I?"

Anyway, there’s me (Hakari) acting all elegant and clingy with Rentarou—ugh, this is weird to watch. For now, let’s just refer to myself as Kawaru.

"Look, Rentarou-kun, those lovely lights in the air…"

"That’s everyone’s souls…?!"

Kawaru (Hakari) pressed closer, pushing her arms against Rentarou’s chest—harder, and—

…Sorry, Hakari, but mine’s a brick wall. All you’ll get is a stiff rebound…?!

"…?! Ngh?!"

Wait, it worked? Seriously? It’s concrete! Even Hahari-san gave up on "groping" that level! (Though she’s not trying now.) Huh. So that does it? …Note to self: Test later.

Fwoosh…

I see… "Smitten Kawaru," huh? Now that you mention it, I don’t usually get all lovestruck. Huh. Maybe this was a good experiment—helps me see what I lack! Anyway…

"Guess I’m last? Well, since I’m tall now… here goes!"

"Wha—?! What’re you—?!"

Might as well use this height. I wrapped Rentarou in a back hug, rested my chin on his shoulder—then kissed him. How’s that, Rentarou? Behold, "Zero-Personal-Space Kusuri-senpai"! …Oh?

---

"We're back to normal, nyah!"

"Say what you will, but nothing beats your own body..."

Somehow, everyone had returned to their original forms. Never doing that swap mess again...!

"Bigger bodies are way harder than I thought...! Yeah, no—I don't need these things! Just gimme the wall life...!" (Kawaru, aggressively rejecting his brief chest upgrade.)

"Hakari! What kind of... hypersensitive body were you even in?!" (Karane, still recovering from sensory overload.)

"I-It's not my fault! ...Oh, Rentarou-kun? So, how was it? A whole new us~" (Hakari, swiftly redirecting.)

"It was exciting, sure... but honestly? I like you all just the way you usually are!"

[『『『『『『KYUN...!!!』』』』』』』] (Synchronized heart-throbs.)

"Now that we're back, kisses in our real bodies!"

"Me too."

"W-Wait, me three!"

"[This one as well, nyassu.]"

"Kusuri wants kisses too, nyah!"

"MOMMY TOOOOO~!!"

"Hahaha! Hang in there, Rentarou! Save some energy for me later, 'kay?" (Kawaru, with a thumbs-up.)