Chapter 18: Zodiac Lucky Items and Pentarou's Grand Adventure! Part 2‼︎

Due to my sealed right arm (physically) or rather my entire body, I’m in a situation where I can’t even make a snack for Kurumi-chan. All I can do is watch Pentarou's adventure unfold.

You say she’s playing with dolls? That’s just a misunderstanding… just a misunderstanding. It’s only because her playmate is cute that it’s becoming fun.

Now, we return to the scene where Pentarou, who made the demon Kurumin obey with a single Hi-Chew, is riding on top of Kurumi-chan. Pentarou... or rather, Kusuri-senpai, looks like a bundle of cuteness. Kurumi-chan, with a slightly embarrassed red face, savoring the Hi-Chew she got, while Kusuri-senpai plays innocent horsey games.

If I didn’t have to consider age, I could have pampered her a lot more... but well, even considering the age, she’s still cute, so it’s fine.

Before I knew it, Nano-no… no, Mother AI was reading some book next to Shizuka. Pentarou asks for advice from her.

“Target the carotid artery.”

“Are you seriously trying to kill me?!”

Mother AI is too much of an AI. Can’t she be a bit more… fancy? Something like… a powerful weapon or something? No, never mind. There’s a chance she’ll suggest knives or guns. But targeting the carotid artery, huh? It’s effective for people, and more than that...

“Because the neck is a monster’s weak point…”

“Every living creature’s weak point, you know?!”

Using the carotid artery strategy taught by Mother AI, Pentarou courageously attacks. Should I aim for the inner angle and strike deeply…? It feels like this might be useful for something. This attack seems to be pretty effective. At first, Karane didn’t seem to care, but gradually she starts trying to block it, raising her hands...

“Ah…! That tickles...! Hahaha…!”

“Karane laughed!!”

“Whoa! We got the footage! We got the footage!”

She laughed…?! What is that smile? So… cute…!! Considering how rare it is, is she as cute as Shizuka?! But seriously, it’s so rare. I think this might be the first time she’s smiled like that...?

"[Is it going to snow soon or something?]"

“It’s a superstition that just because something unusual happens, it’s going to snow. It’s unscientific.”

“Ugh, that’s annoying!! And what do you mean by ‘something unusual’?!”

“Ah, Pentarou!”

The moment Karagon, the tsukkomi monster, reached his limit, Pentarou is blasted off and sent flying with Rentarou and the Everest Haba-sato collapsing into the sky. Pe… Pentarou~~!!

“Karane-san, you’re really fitting the monster role…”

“Who’s fitting, huh?!”

However, this battle really felt like Dragon Ball... being unable to withstand the opponent’s attack and getting blown away, crashing through rock layers one after another.

“Let me show you…”

“You’re not showing me anything!”

Taking advantage of the opening left by Karagon’s attack on Pentarou, Mother AI directly targets Karagon’s carotid artery. However, Karagon, having predicted this, counters the attack, canceling it. Karagon is truly powerful...!

I can’t win with the carotid artery... Is there another way? Mother AI’s solution is to block the respiratory system. Isn’t she a little too murderous?

“In that case!”

“A sudden transformation bank?!”

“No, it’s been a while...”

Following her advice, the demon Kusurin transforms back into her original form with a deactivating medicine. She’s essentially back to her original form, she’s huge now, and she’s even wearing glasses... is this Ultraman?

“The button’s blown off... Ouch!!”

“Alright... with the aftermath, I’ve defeated the alien Kawarun!”

It’s not alright. I collapsed after losing to something as small as a button… I mean, I fell. This makes it 102 times I’ve tripped today… that’s a lot!!

“Now, take this, Karagon!!”

"Nnmmuuh!!"

The now-giant demon Kusurin pressed Karagon’s head against her chest, cutting off his breathing. Sure, it’s effective... but there’s a weird sense of déjà vu. I feel like I’ve seen someone do this before...

"Rentarou gets this done to him by Haba-sato all the time, you know!"

"Being able to pull that off is a real advantage... There’s no way a wall could ever hope to reach that level."

"Mmmuuuuh!!"

No, no, it’s not like I’m throwing shade at Karane, okay? Look, if I tried to do something similar, I’d have to stuff a ball under my clothes or something... and there’s no point to that. Wait, hold on... if instead of pressing a face directly, it was an ear...? ASMR’s been popular lately, right? Heartbeats and stuff could have some demand... I’ll give it a shot next time.

Karagon, restrained by demon Kusurin, couldn’t endure the dwindling oxygen or his plummeting self-esteem and finally surrendered. It’s rare for a monster to surrender instead of getting defeated... I mean, I got properly knocked out.

"Hmm, hmm... that looks pretty effective."

"Against him? Or her?"

Hey, come on, Hakari. You’re thinking about trying it yourself, aren’t you? I totally saw you… after glancing at Karane to confirm she couldn’t stop you because she was out of breath, you turned that hungry gaze onto Rentarou. Just because Karane’s too exhausted to tsukkomi doesn't mean you can do whatever you want!

"Both."

"At least pretend to hide your intentions!!"

Now then, Pentarou’s adventure continues just a little bit longer. However... it’s on hold until Kusuri-senpai returns to her original form. Apparently, it’s too embarrassing to keep playing like this in adult form… Then what about Shizuka, who was playing along?! Her face is all red and she’s clearly embarrassed too. Me? Well… I mean, I’m doing the commentary, but it’s not like I’m enjoying it... well, okay… maybe I’m kinda enjoying it. Yeah, I can’t deny it anymore... I’m actually having a bit of fun here.

After a few minutes, Pentarou’s adventure resumes. Honestly, the changes in Kusuri-senpai’s personality and emotional swings are concerning, but it probably won’t turn into anything serious… probably.

"Thus, Pentarou, who defeated Karagon, rescued the kidnapped princess!"

"Oh my... me, a princess...?"

"…Now that you mention it, I feel like that was part of the story setup."

"[A hero’s adventure always comes with a princess, after all.]"

Still, Hahari-san as a princess, huh. As expected of Kusuri-senpai. She's really good at assigning roles. Though, it just occurred to me—what’s going to happen with Rentarou…? A tree or something?

"I'm happy, but... aren't there much cuter princesses around here?"

Hahari-san... always trying to step back like that again. She tends to pull away at times like this... Even though normally she closes the distance so aggressively it’s almost scary, pushing right in. Maybe that's part of her mature charm? I like that about her too, but sometimes, I wish she'd take another step forward instead.

"Ehh? Kusuri thinks Hahari looks the most like a princess!"

"Fwah..."

Thump...!!

Whoa. Well said, Kusuri-senpai. Though, I feel like there’s maybe a slight ulterior motive... No, better not think too hard about it. Probably just overthinking. Anyway, even putting that aside, if you asked me who fits the image of "princess" best among the Rentarou family, the top three would definitely be Shizuka, Hakari, and Hahari-san.

Since Shizuka's already playing the mountain role, that leaves the other two... Hakari feels more like an "ojou-sama" (rich girl) type rather than a traditional princess. So in that case, the one best suited for the princess role, and who doesn’t already have a part, would be Hahari-san… A totally reasonable choice.

"The princess who was rescued gave Pentarou a reward as thanks!"

"Cash!?"

A trunk full of cold hard cash. I mean, sure, maybe it was too sudden for a treasure chest or something, but couldn't they have done something a little more fantastical-looking? Handing over straight-up money like that just completely shatters the fantasy world vibe. You’re saying it was already broken with the Mother AI? Fair enough.

"Cash... cash... sea cucumber..."

"Your train of thought is amazing as ever..."

Spin spin spin spin...

"Even if you look at me like that, whipping up a sea cucumber dish on the spot is impossible, okay...!?"

Even if you give me those puppy-dog eyes, there's no way I can suddenly make a sea cucumber dish. I can't cook in the first place. Besides, even getting seafood around here would be a major hassle. Not to mention, I can't exactly whip something up right now anyway.

"But sea cucumber, huh... It's usually pickled in vinegar, but it’s also good simmered sweet and savory as a rice topping, and even steamed with sake..."

"Are you trying to make us hungry!?"

"...Ah."

"[Your thoughts are leaking into your speech!]"

No, that's not it, Kurumi-chan, I swear! It wasn’t on purpose! I mean, it just slipped out without thinking...!

Lately, I've been cooking more often for Kurumi-chan, so I've been looking up a lot of different recipes and trying out new things. Unlike Rentarou, her range of likes is practically endless, so it's been a real learning experience. Honestly, it's been a big help too.

But what should I do now? At this rate, I’m going to end up forced to cook a sea cucumber dish with my arms and legs completely cramped up...!! ...If it comes to that, there’s no helping it. I'd love to make it if I could, but this time, it’s just impossible.

"Instead of making it myself... how about we go to a restaurant that serves delicious sea cucumber dishes?"

"Okay..."

Saved!! Somehow managed to dodge the cramping sea cucumber disaster. Anyway, if it were about soaking dried sea cucumber, that would take a crazy amount of prep time... Well, if it came to that, I could probably just ask Hahari-san to get fresh ones in a flash anyway.

Now then. We got a little sidetracked with all the sea cucumber talk, but at last, Pentarou's great adventure is coming to an end. Having rescued the princess and claimed the treasure (cold hard cash), Pentarou lived happily ever after—!?

"Whoaaa the bills!!"

"““““““““Pentarou!!””””””””

"That's what you're worried about!?"

A sudden strong gust of wind blew away the bills, Pentarou, and me. Wait, Rentarou, what the heck are you even saying? We can get money any time, but Pentarou’s different—though maybe if we just grab one bill, we could manage? Eh, whatever.

"Pentarooo!!"

"Kusuri-senpai!?"

"...Wait, wasn't Kawaru also casually getting blown away just now?"

In any case, the only Pentarou who shared this great adventure with us is that one bird. Kusuri-senpai dashed out to save him, barely managing to grab onto a fence, but she's dangling dangerously. Hurry up, Rentarou! Forget about me, Kusuri-senpai’s in real danger!! Me? I already slammed into the fence and am half-dead, but you know, compared to the 102 times I've fallen today, it’s basically nothing.

Just as Kusuri-senpai was about to fall, Rentarou made it in the nick of time. Wait, could it be... was him wearing nothing but swim trunks actually for this!? So that he wouldn’t be affected by the wind...!?

"Kusuri-senpai, you have to be more careful, okay?"

"Yes... I kinda wet myself so I’ll definitely be more careful..."

And why didn’t Rentarou say anything to me, you ask? Well, see... even if I tried to be careful, there’s no saving it. Look at today’s fantasia of falls. What am I supposed to do with this athletic ability?

Held securely in Rentarou’s arms, Kusuri-senpai, still trembling with adrenaline, kissed him. Then clung tightly to him. Not fair... Well, I guess it's fine. After all that, it can't be helped.

"And so, Pentarou lived happily ever after with the prince~❤︎"

...Wait, isn’t that a problem!? That would make Pentarou a girl!? Leaving aside the rescued princess and ending up with the prince is way too much!!

"That’s not Pentarou, that’s you!!"

Ah, right. That makes more sense. My brain wasn’t working from the pain. We almost ended up creating some weird Rentarou Prince × Pentarou ship... As if I'd let that happen.

"But the prince already has a fairy lover named Hakarin~!!"

"Are you trying to shatter the whole picture book fantasy!?"

"[Actually, fairy tale picture books often have secret lover plots too...]"

.

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"But seriously, what was that lucky item even supposed to be!?"

My bandages were practically shredded at this point, and while everyone was patching me up, we were reflecting on today's chaos.

"Didn't it just make you fall even more?"

"Even though Shizuka was fine, you got blown away first. It's a mystery."

Hmm... but still, something doesn’t sit right with me. I mean, even if I came in dead last, wasn't the whole point of a lucky item to help turn things around a bit? I feel like it only brought disaster today. But still, a lucky item’s a lucky item. It had to have brought me some kind of blessing, right?

"Speaking of which, Kawaru, when you crashed into the railing earlier, you didn’t fall, right?"

"Considering Seibetsu Kawaru’s size, she should have easily slipped right through the railing… It's unnatural."

"…Wait, that’s it! All the bandages wrapped around me after getting wrecked must’ve kept me from falling!"

I see now… yeah, that actually makes sense. In the end, the lucky item did save me. Thanks to it, I’m still in one piece—

"No, listen, if you hadn’t been wearing roller skates in the first place, you wouldn’t have slipped and gotten blown away by the wind, right?"

…………Yeah, when it comes to lucky items, it’s probably best to only believe in them a little.