Chapter 21: The Soaked Party Called Maid Survival

"...And that's how it is... Would it be acceptable for us to welcome Mei Meido-san as a new girlfriend...!"

"Deja vu again."

"So it came to this after all..."

"Well, with that flow of events, it was bound to happen..."

Well, we all saw it coming - Mei-san joined the Rentarou family. Please treat me well from now on.

"Yay! Big sis Mei, let's get along!‼︎"

"[I humbly request your kindness]"

"Please treat me well."

'Round and round and round...'

"Now then, since this is the 'new maid girlfriend' chapter... Let's all wear maid outfits!"

"What kind of logic is that?!"

The maid joining chapter. Of course it's meta, but more importantly - maid outfits. Let's all wear them to make Hahari-san happy, shall we? It's not like we lose anything... except our dignity.

But Kurumi-chan's stomach is growling again...! This timing probably means tea!! She must have thought of it from Mei-san always making it for her, or maybe the maid association... Don't worry. I've already prepared it.

"Here you are, young lady Kurumi."

"Thank... huh... EH?! Kawaru-senpai?!"

I present the tea to Kurumi with the proper etiquette Mei-san taught me before. Of course, I'm the one who made it. After all, right now I am... the Rentarou family's exclusive maid.

"And why are you already wearing that?!"

"Because I was told to... Actually, I've been wearing this the whole time?"

I knew from a message before Hahari-san told everyone to wear them. And well, if she asked me to wear it, I couldn't refuse. Plus this way I get to show Rentarou and the others first, which works out conveniently for me too.

Hahari-san gives me a thumbs up while bleeding from her nose. You're drooling - wipe your face. If you're like this already, will you even survive seeing everyone in maid outfits? Well, I guess you'll manage somehow and burn it into your memory... Is that okay? ...Is it?

"There's... no way I'd wear a maid outfit...!"

What...! Then what about me and Mei-san who are already wearing them?! Is Mei-san safe because it's her actual job? Well, I guess so. But what's wrong with wearing a maid outfit? But Karane seems particularly stubborn. This might not be so easy...

"Everyone in maid outfits... How cute that would be...❤︎"

"........."

Oh ho...?

---

"Hnyaaaaaaaaaa‼︎❤︎"

"Haaah… haaah… haaah…! ❤︎"

You can tell from Rentarou and Hahari's reactions, right? Yep, everyone changed. Damn, they all look so good in them…! And the fact that each one has a unique design tailored to them is amazing. For the full details, check the manga and anime, okay? Explaining everything would take forever. The only thing I’ll describe is my own outfit—since you won’t see it in either medium.

So, uh… my current maid outfit is basically Karane’s and Kurumi-chan’s designs averaged out, but with a midriff cutout. Oi, this thing is literally unusable for anything else. So that’s why she asked me beforehand…?!

And like, isn’t it weird for a maid outfit to have exposed skin like this? Even setting that aside, the design itself feels wrong…!! What do you mean, Hahari-san? "It’s basically a swimsuit maid outfit, so it’s fine"?

…I guess?

By the way, Karane put hers on without much fuss after Rentarou insisted. Good on her for being honest about it. I’d praise her, but she’d probably get mad, so instead, I’ll casually slip her some behind-the-scenes Rentarou trivia later. Nothing too sensitive, of course.

""""Welcome home, Master~! ❤︎"""

"I’m home, my little maid-chan-chans!!"

Hakari, Shizuka, and Kusuri-senpai lined up in a row and hit Rentarou with the classic maid greeting. Man, this kinda thing is great…! And Rentarou—what the hell was that response?! Where do I even start?!

"Uooooh! Moe moe kyun beeeams, babababa!!"

"Moe moe kyun!!"

"KYUDOOON!!"

Wait, Kusuri-senpai fired some kind of beam, and Rentarou exploded on impact…?! So this is the legendary "Moe Moe Kyun"…?! To think its true form was a killer beam that obliterates its target… Is this like Ultraman Specium Ray?! Well, knowing her, it’s probably powered by love or something.

But still… "I’m home, my little maid-chan-chans"…? "Maid-chan-chan-chans"? I get the "I’m home" part, but why "sama-sama" when one "chan" is already there?! Sorry, it’s been a while since I couldn’t follow Rentarou’s logic. Why double up on the honorifics…?!

"Mother? Why are you breathing so heavily…? What are you thinking…?!"

"………?"

"CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK!"

"Please stop making that face like, 'What else would I be doing?'…?!"

Hahari-san is snapping photos at a frantic pace, hyperventilating. At this point, the drooling is just background noise, huh? And Mei-san instantly wiping it away is impressive too…

But honestly, it’s a relief that when Hahari gives in to her desires, Hakari takes on the straight-man role… Poor her, but let’s keep it that way for now.

"Kusuri-sama, if you run too much, your dress will get dirty."

"Oh really? But running’s fun, so I wanna!"

"But seriously… this dress has a big, poofy skirt, and all these white frills would stain so easily…"

"[And yet, maids always keep themselves immaculate.]"

"Not getting dirty is efficient. Saves laundry time."

"You’d still wash it eventually, though?!"

"A maid who serves her master must always maintain a pristine appearance."

"…!"

Hahari-san’s eyes light up like she just had an epiphany. What is it this time…? Oh, come on, like I wouldn’t know?! I saw that typo-ridden message you sent yesterday right after replying to me!

"It’s impressive, sure… But what if someone intentionally tried to dirty it? Could you keep it clean then?"

"What do you mean…?"

"What the hell are you planning…?"

"How about this? A 'Maid Survival Game'—water gun fight where the first one to get their maid outfit soaked loses!!"

…A.K.A. the "Soaked Maid Party". So that’s what that typo was about. At least it’s tamer than I imagined. Yesterday, out of nowhere, she sent:

"I wanna make everyone wear maid outfits and have a soaked maid partyyyyy‼︎‼︎❤︎❤︎❤︎"

…and then deleted it instantly. I had no idea what to expect, so yeah, I was kinda scared! But she did delete it… Not that it stopped me from seeing it.

"Oh, and the winner gets a super hot hug-and-kiss from Rentarou-chan!! ❤︎"

"WHAA—?!"

Yeah, she just decided that on her own. Well, Rentarou got roped into it anyway, so I guess it’s fine…

---

"Then let the match begin...!"

Rentarou is wearing a butler suit. This is important, so I'll say it again—Rentarou is wearing a butler suit.

...Phew. That was a feast. Apparently, the referee for the maid survival game has to be a butler. Hahari-san just decided that earlier. As expected of Hahari-san...! I'll follow you forever...!

But Rentarou looks good in a butler suit...! The white tuxedo from the flower park last time was nice too, but black really suits him...!

...Wait, no. I can't get distracted. I have to find a way to win. I steel myself and wait for the match to begin. How far can I go this time...? Maybe I can pull off a clever win?

"The match starts now...!!"

And so it begins. The Wet & Wild Maid Party—no, the Maid Survival Game...! Wait, is it the other way around? Well, I’m channeling the organizer’s intent, so it’s fine.

In any case, the game started with two people dropping out almost immediately. First was Karane. She dodged Mei-san’s precise shot with her signature Ina Bauer, enhanced by her natural athleticism, then avoided another with "FLAT CHEST." But while she was busy snapping at Hakari for teasing her, Kusuri-senpai took her out. Well, Kusuri-senpai got eliminated right after when Nano caught her celebrating. That makes two.

Two down right at the start... Wait, what’s with that pose and camera angle?

"T-This is...! A worldline where getting wet means a service cut...!!"

What kind of worldline is that?! What do you mean, 'If it’s the same beauty, wetness is a given'?! I kinda get the sentiment, but if you let your guard down like that, you’ll get—Huh?! No way! She calmly threw a premium anpan at Kurumi-chan to distract her as she closed in from behind, then followed up with a shot...?!

Kurumi-chan, desperate to protect the anpan, got soaked. That’s three down. Her heart, so kind in valuing food, is truly admirable... But that comment right now is not okay. Holding the anpan while saying, 'My face is wet...' is bad, bad. If we let that slide, we’d have to let everything slide.

After that, Nano and Mei-san fought like they were in a different manga, but once things stalled, Nano went for efficiency and targeted Shizuka, the weakest link—which backfired. When Nano aimed at her, Shizuka panicked and fired wildly, and Nagi, who had misread the trajectory, got hit by water that had been randomly shot into the air and fell back down on her.

But the wild firing had its downsides too. Shizuka lost control of her own water and ended up dousing herself just like Nagi. That’s four and five down.

Only me, Hakari, Hahari-san, and Mei-san remain. With Nano gone, the biggest threat now is Mei-san. And given her position and personality, the one she’ll likely target is... me!!

"Right there."

"Tch...!!"

I barely managed to dodge the first shot, but with my stamina in tatters, there’s no way I can win like this. Actually, I probably can’t dodge much more. Then I’ll barely evade and close the distance. If I copy what I saw earlier...!

"That’s Karane-san’s—!"

"INAHOWER!!"

Yeah, the Ina Bauer! With this, I can close the gap—

"...Guh?!"

"Senpai... You just collapsed and failed."

"Without Kantou Karane’s muscle strength, imitation is impossible."

Ow, I hit my head hard. I tried to Ina Bauer and completely lost my balance. Not good. I... I can’t lose here...!!

"Checkma—Huh?!"

"She dodged it?!"

"In that position?!"

What was that? I dodged at the last second when the shot was about to hit...? ...Oh! This is where Shizuka was firing wildly earlier! Meaning the ground’s soaked everywhere! That’s why even Mei-san couldn’t predict the speed—right now, I’m 'sliding and flailing while already fallen'!

I can do this. No matter how precise the shooting is, if it doesn’t hit, it doesn’t matter. I just have to wait for them to run out of ammo. I can win! No matter who I’m up against, I won’t lose! I’ve just unlocked the ultimate evasion—!!

---

「…！Kawaru, you're out!」

『Peeehhh‼︎』

"Wha—⁉︎"

"Seibetsu Kawaru wasn't hit by any shots."

"[Unlike me, she didn't even get hit by her own bullets.]"

"What in the world could've happened...⁉︎"

What's going on? None of the shots that were fired should've hit her. It's not like Shizuka who got hit by her own bullet. This is strange. Why in the world...⁉︎

"This is weird... Why is my body all wet...⁉︎"

"Nnghh‼︎❤︎"

"Hahari-san...? I didn't mean that in any weird way, okay? I'm dead serious about my body being completely drenched...‼︎"

"So why exactly are you all wet?"

"Kawaru kept slipping and falling in puddles while trying to dodge Mei-san's attacks... That's why she's soaked."

"If you go diving into puddles on your own, of course you'll get wet, dumbass‼︎"

"Ah... So that's it..."

I'm the biggest idiot here...‼︎ I can't even criticize Shizuka when I'm blowing myself up like this. No way... If this were real bullets, I'd be the moron who ran into a minefield and blew myself up...⁉︎ What an undignified way to go.

"Well then... Go ahead?"

Since I lost, there's no helping it. I plop down flat on the ground, right arm above my head. Left arm lightly covering my stomach—the perfect serving platter pose. Apparently, it's good to slightly open the left hand and give a little peek of the navel. I read that somewhere. I kinda get the sentiment... It's a maid outfit that shows off the stomach anyway, so might as well make use of it.

"Uhehehehe...‼︎"

Ah, that's just a figure of speech, Hahari-san! You can't actually eat me! This is for Rentarou...⁉︎

Hakari⁉︎ No way... Hakari's aiming a water gun point-blank at Hahari-san's head... She's taking her hostage‼︎

"That's far enough, Mei-san."

"Sorry, Mei... I got careless...! The serving platter was right in front of me, so I couldn't help but try a taste..."

"Even if you're facing me and even if it's unlimited, a maid can't just snack on the offerings, you know?"

"That's not the part you should be criticizing!"

I feel like my retort missed the mark, but whatever. Still, nice move, Hakari... She teased Karane at first, but after that, she stayed hidden behind Hahari-san, waiting for the perfect opening...!

Hakari takes Hahari-san hostage, demanding Mei self-destruct. Feels like something out of a Western movie. What will you do, Mei-san?

Mei-san's decision is... pointing her gun at her own head. So she really will self-destruct... Wait, what⁉︎

"Stop it, Mei. A master who holds back her maid... doesn't deserve to be a master."

"Wh...⁉︎"

"You mustn't, Hahari-sama‼︎"

"Hahari...san...⁉︎"

What are you planning, Hahari-san? Pointing the gun at your own head... Don't tell me⁉︎ No, Hahari-san‼︎ Don't... Don't shoot yourself...‼︎

Thud...!‼︎

"Nah, that'd kill me, so I'll do this instead."

Sploosh...‼︎

Hahari-san shoots herself in the head with the water gun and collapses on the spot. No way... Hahari-san...‼︎

"Hahari-sama‼︎"

"...‼︎"

Mei-san, realizing Hahari-san is down, moves faster than Hakari. She closes the distance in an instant, dodges Hakari's counterattack, and lands a hit. Now the only one left is... Mei-san. Wait, is Hakari really gonna end it with a service cut here? Well... I get the sentiment. Everyone struck their own sly poses anyway.

However, it seems Mei's victory... fairly reasonable... Hm?

"Wait a minute! Mei is... all soaked too!"

"[Because she hugged Habari-san, who was all soaked...!!]"

"So that means zero survivors... total defeat..."

"No... That means... EVERYONE WINS!! Everyone worked so hard!! No matter what anyone says, even if a cat barks 'woof,' it's victory victory VICTORY!!!"

『『『『『『『『『KYUN...!!』』』』』』』』』

And so, all the drenched maids won the grand prize—hugs and kisses from Rentarou... Wait, phrasing it like that makes Rentarou sound like a prize. Let me rephrase.

And so, everyone won their hugs and kisses... and Rentarou, who hugged and kissed the soaked maids, ended up soaked too.

"SOAKED SQUAD—❤️!!"

(Though two of them were in an even worse state, we'll gloss over that. Sorry, God of Love. This isn't the place for that kinda stuff.)

"This ending ain't my fault, is it?!"

"Nah, you're totally the root cause."

Oh, right—I skipped over it to keep things flowing, but actually, my body hasn’t been able to move at all since earlier. After going all out with those intentional dodging falls, it was bound to happen. I used the last of my strength to strike that teasing pose, and then I just couldn’t move anymore.

So, when it came to the hugs and kisses, I had to... well, have them come down to the ground to reach me. But the way I was positioned ended up looking like... Rentarou had pinned me down or something.

"That’s so unfair, Rentarou-kun!! Getting to pin down Kawaru-san like that...!!"

"Cheating, Rentarou-chan and Kawaru-chan!! All soaked and in that position...!!"

(The two of them started spiraling even further, so to keep things fair, we had to recreate the 'pinning' scenario equally for everyone. The result was... well, let’s just say things got even more soaked. A disastrous ending, really.)

"GODDAMN IT, WHAT A TERRIBLE ENDING?!?!?!"