Chapter 24: Standing beside me is the childhood friend I love more than anyone. End

—Because Yous and I crossed that line.

The feelings for Yous I’d stubbornly refused to acknowledge—I could no longer deny them.

When Yous embraced me, overcoming the problems with my constitution, didn’t that mean I’d accepted him? When we worked to resolve the issues for my father’s approval, under the assumption we’d be together, didn’t that mean I’d already decided to stay with Yous?

But no.

That wasn’t it.

I’d only moved forward out of sheer determination, believing it was what I should do.

The truth was far more fundamental.

I’d been running—from admitting, out loud, that I loved Yous.

That’s all?

Yes, that’s all.

There’s something different about me.

The memories of a past life—as a man.

Even now, as the “me” I am today, that shapes the core of who I am.

Of course it does.

It’s the foundation.

People don’t change so easily.

And for a coward like me, who fears change, that kind of transformation… it’s impossible.

Above all—

“……Rina? What’s wrong? Are you okay, Rina?”

“……No, no, Yous, that’s not it.”

—This is a problem only I can understand.

Because I doubt there’s anyone else in this world like me.

Sure, there are probably women out there who struggle to see themselves as female—what this world might call “gender identity disorder.”

But my case is different.

It’s not just about being abnormal.

It’s an abnormality with a known cause, one I can’t discuss with anyone.

Should I tell Yous my past now?

He’d accept it. But then, he’d look at me through that lens.

This isn’t about who I am now—it’s about a stranger Yous has never met, “the man I was.”

How would that solve anything?

If anything, I have to find the answer myself.

But after a lifetime of averting my eyes, can I really face it now and find one?

“—Rinaria.”

“…Yous.”

“I can’t understand what you’re carrying. I’m your partner, not you.”

Maybe sensing my turmoil, Yous speaks up.

Yes—he understands what I’m thinking and puts it into words.

“So, you have to find your own answer. But… I can help you.”

“…Help?”

“Yeah. So—talk to me. Your past, one piece at a time, in your own words.”

Right.

If I can’t say it outright, I’ll have to spill it piece by piece.

I love Yous… I must.

Even if I can’t say it, I’ve accepted him. I want to stay with him.

Then all that’s left is to pour out every word.

If, after everything, what remains is “love,” then claiming it should be easy.

“I was… born into a ducal house. When I found that life suffocating, I met you.”

From the beginning—one step at a time.

“I admired your sword. I wanted to swing mine beside you. I wanted to fight like you.”

It started with admiration.

“Then I realized we couldn’t stay together. And you… shattered that.”

From admiration came salvation.

Yous saved me.

“We became adventurers together. Just the two of us—I was sure we’d be the greatest.”

So I left home.

“—But even we couldn’t do it alone. We found a leader… and comrades.”

We became members of the Bronze Star.

“Through adventures, victories, failures… we reached A-rank.”

And then—

“—And then, I wished for happiness with you.”

Ah… good.

I could say it.

Then maybe… it’ll be okay.

“But I had obstacles to overcome.”

My constitution. The conflict with my father.

“One, I decided to face with your help.”

If we stood together, I truly believed we’d be alright.

“The other, I won by convincing Father head-on.”

Our achievements, and the secret I’d guarded, made it possible.

“And finally—”

—With everything else resolved…

Only one thing remained.

Yes, digging this deep, all that’s left is—

—The feeling that I love you.

All I had to do was say it.

“…Yeah. So, Rina”

“Yeah.”

—See? I can say it.

So easily, I can tell Yous—

"――――――――Fu-hi-i…"

Yeah… I really can’t say it, can I?

“…Rina?”

“…One more time!”

“Y-yeah.”

Inhale… exhale.

“S-s-s…”

“S?”

“Sushi…”

…Well, it is delicious.

“…………”

“…………”

“O-one more!”

Inhale… exhale.

“Su… sui… shii…”

“Rina…”

Don’t pity me!!

“Sui…”

“That’s not even a word…”

Why!? Why the hell can’t I just tell Yous I like him!? Is this some deep-seated psychological issue or something!? Once I’ve actually realized how I feel, all that’s left is saying it out loud, right!? I mean, I literally just said it a minute ago—why can’t I do it face-to-face!?

“…I guess you’re the kind of person who can only be honest when you’re caught up in the moment.”

“Don’t put it like that!!”

I mean… maybe you’re right, but still!!

“…That’s not it. It’s not like that. I really do like you, Yous… Wait, did I just say it!?”

“Then one more time.”

“Sufi…”

“Nope, still not it.”

“Whyyy!?”

Come on! It’s the end already—just be honest with him, me! Aaaaaahhh but every time I try to say it, my mouth won’t work right!!

“Okay, come on, Rina. One more time.”

“Come on! I said it! That’s good enough, right!? There, I said it!”

“Nope. If we’re going to be together from now on, stuff like this is going to come up all the time. So think of this as just one step along the way. Let’s go.”

…A step along the way.

That phrase brings something back to me.

Sonariya once said that misfortune is just a stepping stone to happiness.

—It’s the same thing, isn’t it?

Just like Yous said: saying “I love you” is just a checkpoint.

Our future should stretch out much farther than our past ever did.

If that’s true… then I can’t stop here.

“…Let’s think of a solution.”

“Sure. Got anything specific in mind?”

I take a moment to think.

…No good. Nothing’s coming to me.

You can’t just force these kinds of ideas to pop up. It’s like when Yous tried to plan a date and it all went sideways—same principle.

If I can’t be honest with Yous, it’s probably because I’m not in the right headspace for it.

Give me a drink and I could go all the way.

Throw me on a stage and I’d probably kiss him on the spot.

But right now…?

I don’t know.

Even so, I keep thinking—and then:

“…A reckoning, huh.”

The words come back to me. Something Parareya once said.

That a reckoning is something that comes back to you, good or bad.

If that’s true, then—

“Hey, Yous.”

“What is it, Rina?”

That’s right.

“—Is there anything you want me to do for you?”

Am I really giving anything back to Yous?

Haven’t I just been taking this whole time?

Just coasting along in the relationship, letting him do everything?

“…Let me see.”

Maybe he picked up on what I was feeling. He takes a second to think, then seems to come up with something.

“There’s actually something I’ve always wanted to do with you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s the perfect thing for a moment like this.”

With that, Yous pulls his sword from his item box.

“—Would you do me the honor of a dance, milady?”

Ah, seriously.

—What are you, a prince or something?

When Yous and I first met, he was captivated by the way I looked, dressed like a proper lady—and I was moved by how effortlessly he carried himself.

I admired him.

That’s why I started learning the sword. And Yous, he started wanting to be by my side.

And then, that night in the flower field.

The night we awakened to Shirokou, I said it—without a doubt.

“In a place as beautiful as this… I wanted to cross blades with you.”

—That’s what I said.

In other words—

It was a performance.

Swordplay, at its heart, is a form of art. Sometimes, blades are crossed not in battle, but in graceful competition—measured in beauty, not blood.

It’s the highest expression of wielding a sword not for war, but for someone else.

That’s the kind of sword I wanted to share with Yous.

And so, we simply moved. Without thinking—just moved.

My weapon was a rapier. If I clashed directly, I’d be knocked away in an instant. So the proper technique is to redirect, to unbalance, and to end it all in a single thrust.

Yous’s weapon was a greatsword. It cuts not so much as it cleaves, sweeping aside everything in its path.

As his sweeping blade came crashing in, I met it only with redirection—deflecting, flowing, twisting away.

Only the clash of blades echoed around us.

Sometimes sharp and ringing, sometimes heavy and deep.

It was music.

A duet of steel, played by Yous and me, with the flowers as our only audience.

My body moved in perfect harmony with my will, almost unnaturally so. Beyond focus, I slipped into something like a trance—into the domain—and simply let it guide me, thoughtless, instinctive.

Yous, too, moved with only his ingrained technique, wordless and unthinking.

Each time our blades met, something lit up inside me.

Each strike fanned that light into flame.

Each parry carried the heat of his intent across to me.

In this moment, we were, strangely, utterly in sync.

I knew what he was thinking.

I could feel what he felt.

Which meant—

“—This is fun!”

“—Yeah!”

Yous’s love—his joy—was coming through, clear as day.

He was smiling.

Not the usual soft, gentle smile, but a full, exuberant grin that lit up his whole face.

And me—I was smiling too.

So much that the idea of hiding how I felt suddenly seemed ridiculous.

This is what I should’ve been doing from the start.

Doing what I wanted.

Being honest with myself.

It’s really that simple!

“Yous!!”

“What is it!?”

We swung wildly, our blades clashing again and again.

Even in a performance like this, Yous was the better swordsman. He was adjusting to me, pacing himself to match my rhythm.

Even now, I was getting overwhelmed, barely managing to deflect his blade.

My heart pounded, but my mind stayed calm—it told me what was coming.

One more move. After this, I’d open myself up. A fatal gap.

That would end the performance.

No… not like this—

No way am I letting this—

Not when the fire’s still burning so bright!

I haven’t even—

“―――――I love you!”

—I haven’t even told him yet.

The sound of a sword falling echoed against the ground.

Ah… it’s over.

And the result—was plain to see.

The moonlit sword dance, a duel of everything we were, ended with—

—Yous, dumbstruck, his sword fallen at his feet.

—And with that, the performance closed.

My victory.

—What you call someone says a lot about the relationship you have with them. It’s a title, a mark of connection.

Calling your father “Dad” is natural. Calling your best friend by name without honorifics isn’t strange, either.

If a little sister calls her brother “Onii-sama,” well… that’s a bit of an eccentric quirk.

So that kind of thing falls into what you’d call a minority. Most people aren’t like that. At least for me, calling someone important to me by name—just their name—is what feels right.

That’s why I called Yous just “Yous.”
And why Yous called me “Rina.”

“—Hey, Yous.”

To his left—what Anna calls my “usual spot”—I stood there, looking up at the sky.

“What is it, Rina?”

The moon hung above us.

Glowing white, it felt like it was blessing us.
A beautiful, beautiful full moon.

“...What kind of future do you think we’ll live from now on?”

“Hmm… Adventure, maybe. Or a noble’s life. Either way, I doubt it’ll ever be boring.”

As I thought about the road ahead, I spoke.

“With my condition officially ranked S now, I think we’ll be able to dive into it even more.”

“Yeah. From now on, let’s not just protect what we can—we’ll solve everything, together.”

I glanced at him—the childhood friend standing beside me.

“And we’ll have to make peace with Lord Drest, too. He’s still the only family we’ve got left.”

“I’ll try, okay? But he’s not the only family I’ve got… I’m counting on you, dear husband.”

—Just like back then, he’s still standing by my side.

And maybe, he always will be.

“So—Yous.”

“Yeah, Rina.”

Even so, the way we call each other won’t change.

As long as I love Yous.
As long as Yous loves me.

“I may be a little rough around the edges, but… I hope we’ll be together for a very long time.”

“And I may fall short now and then, but… I hope we’ll stay together, always.”

Right beside me, as I spoke those words—

—stood the childhood friend I loved more than anyone else in the world.