Chapter 28: Since "He" Was There, I Decided to Talk

I woke up in darkness.

No—saying I "woke up" feels off.

It didn’t feel like rousing from sleep. More like the sensation of being in a dream. Closest to what they call a lucid dream.

Not that I’ve had much experience with those.

"—Hey."

At the sudden voice, I tensed up.

A girl’s voice—one I knew all too well.

Because it was my own.

But to me, she was the highest-level threat.

After all, the temptation I’d heard by the riverside had also been in my voice.

"You—!"

"W-Wait! That wasn’t me!"

Just as I was about to lunge at her, a girl with my face frantically emerged from the shadows.

Silver hair, gentle features.

But there was one clear difference.

Where I was brown-skinned, she had porcelain-white skin.

Yes—she was me from back then. The form of the silver magical girl, Silver Witch.

(...Though for some reason, she was wearing pajamas.)

"Um… I guess this is our first meeting? HidakaLuna… that’s your name, right?"

"...What are you talking about? I’m Youta."

Seriously? Even myself won’t call me by my real name?

I felt an inexplicable slump in my spirits, almost bowing my head.

"That’s not wrong, either… but to me, you’re Luna."

The self-proclaimed Youta smiled at me.

Not only did she have my face—which was creepy enough—but she insisted I was the different one.

I kinda wanted to punch her.

With that thought in mind, I glared at her sharply.

"But it’s the truth…"

She gave me a troubled, vague smile.

…That expression—yeah, it looked exactly like the Youta I remembered.

"Let me confirm something. You couldn’t endure the world around you when you woke up. Well, thanks to Haruto, you held on a little longer… but you still broke in the end. So I became you. That’s correct, right?"

"...Yeah."

All I could do was clench my fists at her words.

It was a bitter memory.

I had no choice but to cling to it.

Back then, Haruto was my only hope.

"That was also due to the influence of the 'Dark Seed' embedded in your body. It weighed on your heart—as if trying to make you shatter completely. You were under a vicious curse."

Something felt off, and I tilted my head.

...I realized why. This whole time, the self-proclaimed Youta had been talking like it was someone else’s problem.

If she really was Youta, then this was her problem too.

But she ignored my reaction and started talking about Savaros’s goals.

He had been scheming to take over my body if possible.

Even if that failed, he wanted to leave behind the seeds of ruin.

With gloomy malice, he plotted and interfered.

Most of the circumstances surrounding me were part of his setup.

...Knowing that my hatred for Minami had been planted in me was a deep relief.

Maybe some of it had already been inside me.

But it shouldn’t have been this bad.

...I’ll have to apologize someday.

I was the one who hurt him so one-sidedly.

"As I became you... a part of me, trapped in the 'Dark Seed,' remained unchanged. No—it couldn’t change."

"So you’re saying you were left behind?"

"...Yeah. Probably."

At my words, the self-proclaimed Youta nodded—satisfied, yet somehow sad.

"This leftover fragment of Youta… is me. As a result, I’m much closer to the Youta from half a year ago than you are. That’s why I’m Youta, and you’re Luna."

Then, she pointed alternately at herself and me, tilting her head with a "See?"

Her way of speaking had a playful tone.

But there was truth in Youta’s words.

...Maybe because she was another version of me, her words slipped effortlessly into my heart.

Perhaps it’s because you can’t lie to yourself.

"I’ve been watching you the whole time. Like in a dream… seeing your heart wear down. And then, little by little, recover. It hurt, being able to do nothing but watch."

—A self-mocking smile.

She probably did genuinely feel sorry.

Even though it was such a weird situation—her worrying about me like I was someone else—it felt undeniably Youta-like.

But I couldn’t offer any comforting words.

I had something far more pressing on my mind.

"Then—what was that voice I heard by the riverside?"

"That was Savaros’s lingering will. It slipped into our bodies along with the 'Dark Seed.' He had assimilated with me, which is why he could say things that cut so deep. ...So, I’m sorry."

"...No, I’m the one who should apologize. I’m the one who gave him that opening… But does that mean something like that could happen again?"

As long as my heart remains weak, will things like tonight keep happening?

Those words—sharp as a blade, cutting straight to my weakest point.

Would I even be able to resist next time?

If I were swallowed by it again… The sensation of my hand piercing flesh resurfaces, sending a chill down my spine.

Reona-san said Haruto was practically immortal, but there’s no telling what might happen next.

If he were consumed by that pitch-black miasma again, I might really end up killing him this time.

Then—Youta shakes her head.

"No. Savaros is gone. That’s why I can talk to you now."

"...I see. Then… will you eventually merge back with me, too?"

Two divided halves becoming one again.

Like a wound healing over.

To me, that seemed only natural.

But—

"I appreciate the offer… but it’s impossible."

Youta shakes her head firmly, her gaze filled with quiet regret.

"Personality-wise, I shouldn’t be affected, but… having been consumed, I’ve taken on negative traits. And Luna, you’ve already walked a completely different path from the me of the past."

"...What do you mean?"

"The me from back then could never have fallen for Haruto—a boy. But now, you carry those feelings."

"Wh—!?"

My ears burn crimson at Youta’s words.

…It’s true. The thought of Haruto dating Minami was what drove me to that edge.

Even I can’t deny that.

If I had the right to, I’d want Haruto to hold me tight, gently.

But even if she’s my past self, hearing it said outright is beyond embarrassing.

"Ahaha. That part… I just can’t understand. Because even now, I still like Minami-chan."

Youta laughs it off, but her expression soon tightens.

"That’s why I can’t become one with you. I’ll probably just keep sleeping deep in your heart… There are things I still need to watch over, after all."

"But…!"

"No."

She cuts me off with another shake of her head.

"Luna. Youta is still inside you, unchanged. So… you’re free to become whoever you want to be. Though… I might end up forcing some painful things on you along the way…"

"That’s—! You’re the one suffering way more than me!"

No.

I’m the one forcing pain onto her.

Trapped in this dark, empty space—it’s practically solitary confinement.

And… if Haruto really wanted to save someone, wouldn’t it be the me from back then—not who I am now?

As I reach out with those thoughts, Youta pulls away, refusing me outright.

"—Don’t cry, Luna."

I only realized it when she pointed it out—something hot was trailing down my cheeks.

...Tears.

Youta should’ve been the one who wanted to cry, yet here I was, pitifully sobbing instead.

"I really am okay with this. Because you’re still unmistakably Youta too. If anything, I’m the outlier—the part that couldn’t change."

Her voice was soothing, but my tears wouldn’t stop.

"And someday—if you ever stop needing me inside you... I don’t know how many years it’ll take, but we’ll meet again. Probably as complete strangers who’ve forgotten everything, though."

Then, she patted my head—pon, pon—softly, like she was cradling me.

It felt exactly like—

"...You’re like an older brother."

Just what I used to do for Hoshiko when she cried after being bullied.

"Huh, I guess you could think of it that way... Maybe the two of us are like twin siblings, split apart."

She looked startled at my muttered words, then grinned awkwardly.

"Though, looking like this, who knows if I’d be the brother or the sister?"

---

"...You’ve really become so much more like a girl, huh?"

"...Hah?"

Right as I sensed I was about to wake up, my "brother" said something ridiculous.

"I mean, you naturally stand with your knees together now... You’ve changed."

"Well, it has been half a year..."

"Yeah... You’re right. Luna, you should be confident. If the old you says so, it’s gotta be true."

Even if it was encouragement from Youta... this just felt like self-praise.

Though, I guess there’s no one more trustworthy than yourself.

Was this really what she wanted to say right before we parted?

Her carefree attitude was throwing me off.

"This isn’t just small talk. Last night, you were agonizing over whether you’re really a girl, right?"

Had she sensed my thoughts? Youta cut straight to the point.

...Guess no one understands me better than another me.

"I’m not Hoshiko, but you’re every bit a girl, Luna. In that sense, Haruto might be the scariest one—he’s dangerously oblivious... Good luck. That’s all I can say."

---

When I woke up, it was morning.

It felt like I’d slept forever, but it wasn’t even 8 a.m. yet.

...Was it because of the dream?

That girl who looked like the old Luna—Youta.

Well, that’s just a convenient label. Deep down, I still believe I’m Youta too.

But... being called "Luna" doesn’t feel so bad either.

For the first time, I could think that—not with resignation, but acceptance.