Chapter 28

It was inside the royal castle’s main keep.

“…Misfortune…”

At the far edge of a deserted office, a girl with unruly pink hair slumped in her chair, glassy-eyed, quietly gazing at the stars beyond the window.

“Always, always drawing the short straw. The juicy jobs go to someone else, and the garbage ones? Straight to me. I’ve made peace with that—but this time… this is too much.”

Ruu— A waterfall of tears streamed down her cheeks. She didn’t even glance at the towering stack of paperwork drowning in candlelight. Just the sight of it was exhausting.

“No end in sight. I’m starving… so sleepy. The dinner the cook left? The cat ate it while I wasn’t looking.”

She groaned, dropped her head onto the desk with a thunk.
Groooowl— Her stomach echoed through the quiet office.

In the corner, her well-fed cat snoozed peacefully.

“The Demon King’s Army? Scary, sure. But this mountain of paperwork after two all-nighters? That’s the real horror.”

After a few seconds of stillness, she lifted her head again, blinked blearily, and reached for her pen.

“Ah, right… Rex is coming to the capital soon. Need to prep for that too… Ugh.”

Instead of facing the stack before her, she grabbed a fresh sheet and started a new one.

“…Misfortune.”

Sniffling, she muttered her fate aloud like a curse, eyes still damp.

---

“Whoa… What the hell is this place?”

“First time in the capital, huh, Flatche?”

The capital of the Pedia Empire—also called Pedia. Everyone just called it the Royal Capital.

Built into a towering cliffside, the city sprawled lazily under the protection of its natural fortress. Unbothered, untouched.

“Step right up! Fresh monster meat—cut just this morning!”

“Hey there, handsome! You lonely tonight?”

“Fortune tickets! Big wins! Walk away with 50,000G—don’t miss out!”

Even outside the gates, the road was bursting with noise and color. The sheer scale of it dwarfed the merchant districts from back home.

People. Everywhere. As far as the eye could see. If we didn’t hold hands, we’d be separated in seconds.

“This part’s called the castle town. Technically not inside the capital yet.”

“Damn… Wonder how many strong swordsmen are in there.”

“That’s your first thought? …It’s mostly merchants out here. Maybe a few shop guards who’ve trained.”

“So where are the strong ones?”

“National army grounds, city dojos. I’ll show you around—after we hear the request details.”

“Really?!”

I’d never seen so many people in one place. It hit me all at once—how much of a backwater bumpkin I really was.

And this was just the outside. How many more were packed inside the walls?

“Hey there, traveler! Welcome to the capital! Want an apple? Go on—take it!”

“Huh? For real?”

“Ah—idiot. Don’t take it.”

A kid I didn’t recognize shoved fruit into my hands. Instinctively, I took it. He grinned and pointed at the price carved into the skin.

“…1,000G. You touch it, you buy it. That’s the rule.”

“…Huh?”

“Don’t believe me? Want me to call the guards? I’ve got your face memorized—pay up or get wanted.”

“Wha—?!”

“Just how things work here, Flatche. Consider it a life lesson.”

“No way…”

I looked to Rex, hoping he’d bail me out. He only gave me a wry smile.

Apparently, I had to pay. A thousand gold for an apple—what a scam. And the fact that I could afford it made it worse.

“See ya~”

“Eeek?!”

Mei yelped out of nowhere, clutching her rear.

“What’s wrong, Mei?”

“…Did someone just grab my butt?”

“Ah. Groped, huh? Yeah, some real scumbags in this crowd.”

“What? Mei, I’m sorry—I missed it. Let’s get inside.”

Someone groped Mei? Here? Unforgivable. Who the hell was it?!

“Wait—are we just gonna ignore the fact that this place has zero security?”

“It’s the castle town that’s a mess. The capital itself is better.”

“So this part’s lawless, then.”

Now that I looked around, yeah. Plenty of shady types lurking. Not that I couldn’t handle it, but still.

“You need a pass or ID to get into the real capital. We’re fine—we’ve got guild cards and a military request. But normally, you’d need a church-issued ID and pay a toll.”

“It’s the king’s city, after all. Can’t let just anyone waltz in.”

“Which means the ones without papers get stuck out here. Basically a slum.”

“…Uuu, my butt…”

Mei whimpered, still clutching herself. She looked heartbreakingly cute like that. …No, focus. We had to move. Fast.

“Then let’s go, Rex. We’ve got two girls with us—we shouldn’t linger here.”

“Right. Karin, Mei—you stay between us. Flatche and I’ll take the outside. Think you can intercept any gropers?”

“Of course. No matter how skilled the molester, I’ll gracefully evade and subdue them.”

“…Since when do gropers have skill levels?!”

Following Rex’s lead, I ushered the girls protectively to the center. I couldn’t let Mei or Karin feel uncomfortable. As a man, it was my duty to shield them.

"F-Flatche?"

"Relax, Mei. I may not look it, but I’m sharp when it comes to sensing others’ presence. No one’s laying a finger on you without me—"

"Um, Flatche? …Where’s your waistcloth?"

"Huh? My waistcloth?"

But Mei, holding my hand, suddenly asked something strange. Where was my waistcloth? It should be right there, wrapped around my waist. There’s no way my clothing could just vanish—

…I looked down.

My white underwear and thighs were completely exposed.

"WH—?! WHY AM I NAKED?!"

"F-Flatche, cloth!! Here, take this, cover yourself!!"

"Seriously?! You were wearing it just a second ago, how’d it come off?!"

Wait, had it slipped off somehow? No way I wouldn’t notice that!

Sniiiiff… Sniiiiff… "Nnghohoho… Marvelous…"

I frantically scanned the area, looking for where my waistcloth might have snagged—

Only to find an old beggar sitting right behind us on the roadside, burying his face in my waistcloth and inhaling deeply.

"A PERVERT?!"

"Whoa! The hell, old man?! Give Flatche’s clothes back!"

So… I’d been pickpocketed. Stripped without even realizing it.

"Impossible… Me, of all people… robbed blind without a single clue…?"

"Flatche! Forget about that right now—don’t just stand there, cover yourself!!"

Whatever the case, this old man was no ordinary beggar. Thankfully, my sword remained untouched at my waist.

I immediately shifted into a combat stance—crouching low, legs spread, hand resting quietly on my sword’s hilt.

"Stop spreading your legs like that in that state, you idiot!! Mei, hurry up and get Flatche’s spare clothes from the luggage!"

"Y-Yes!"

"Flatche, stay back! I’ll handle this. Old man, hand it over. Now."

"Nah~ Not a chance. …Sniff Ahh, the sweet scent of a maiden~"

Hmm. This guy… no openings.

Even if I struck, I doubt I’d land a hit. Just who the hell is he?

"Oi, ‘Hawk-Eye.’ …Seems you’ve grown careless."

"Hah? You knew who I was and still pulled this stunt?"

"Course I did. If you were at your best, my hand would’ve been lopped off the second I touched that cute little dark mage’s backside. As you are now, you’re practically begging to be toyed with."

The old man smirked, rubbing his hands together lewdly. So he was the one who groped Mei. That bastard.

"…Who the hell are you, shitty geezer?"

"Fufun~ Just a pervy old beggar, that’s all~ Truly~"

Even under Rex’s glare, the old man didn’t flinch. With a cheerful hum, he stuffed my waistcloth into his bag.

Hey. That’s my clothing.

"A foolish Sword Saint who can’t even protect his comrades from a mere dirty old man. As thanks for this lovely gift, I’ll give you two pieces of advice."

"I didn’t give it to you! Give it back!"

"Listen well, Rex the Sword Saint. Soon, you’ll commit a grave mistake—one that may cost you something precious. Do not confuse your goals with what truly matters."

"What the hell are you on about? Who do you think you are? What do you know?"

"Second piece of advice: What you seek is likely right under your nose. You just haven’t noticed it. Look closer."

With that, the old man shot me a knowing grin. …What’s his deal? I don’t get it.

Is he just a lunatic?

"So, is that all? I’d rather not draw my blade on an amateur… but if you plan to leave without returning Flatche’s clothes, prepare to lose a few tendons."

"Muuu? But you’ve already been paid! This is valuable advice from a drunken old pervert!"

"Like I’d trust the ramblings of a senile creep! Hand it over, or else—!!"

Rex grabbed the old man’s wrist as he tried to leave, flashing a feral grin. He’s clearly pissed.

C’mon, the guy seems kinda pitiful. No need to rough him up—just get my clothes back.

"Ah, I see. Here. Lovely scent, isn’t it? Bet you’d like a whiff too."

"Ghk—!?"

In an instant—too fast to follow—the old man pressed a pitch-black scrap of fabric into Rex’s face.

Whoa. His movements are… flawless. No tells, no wasted motion. He’s using some high-level martial arts technique just to mess with Rex.

Wait, what is that cloth? Doesn’t look like my waistcloth. Whose is it?

"Go on, take a deep breath. A bit milky, but fresh~"

"Gbahhh! The hell’s wrong with you?!"

"Why the anger? Rejoice, boy—it’s a holy sister’s panties!"

"……Huh?"

At those words, Karin turned pale. Oh no.

Trembling, she slowly reached for her waist—then let out a shriek, tears welling in her eyes.

"W-Wait, nooooo!!! Why?! Why’s that in your hands?! Rex, don’t sniff it, you idiot!!"

"Nyohohoho!!"

"Eh… K-Karin’s…? When did he—?!"

"Impossible… How did I not notice…?!"

"Flatche, NOT THE TIME!! Stop standing there exposed and COVER YOURSELF!!"

Chaos.

Karin lunged at the old man, screaming, but he dodged effortlessly, stoking her fury. Mei and I stood frozen in shock, while Rex—now realizing what was pressed to his face—turned beet red and short-circuited.

"Remember my words, Rex. I went out of my way to advise the next generation—don’t waste it."

"Stay the hell away from us!! Give it back!!"

"Tch. Call it a fair trade~"

And just like that, the lecherous old man vanished into the crowd.

Left behind: a panty-less holy sister and a half-naked swordswoman, drawing far too much attention.

"…What just happened?"

"I wish I knew…"

Mei hurriedly dug out a spare waistcloth for me, and I muttered my thanks. That old man—with just a perverted grin—had effortlessly humiliated our party, the strongest in the kingdom.

"…He’s no ordinary man. To land a hit (with panties) on Rex’s face, even when not serious…"

"Right. Stealing from Karin in her robes? No ordinary molester could manage that."

"So they do exist. Master-level perverts."

"They do…"

"GIVE THEM BAAAAACK!! YOU DAMN GEEZER!!"

And so, our rural-born party received our first taste of the city’s ruthlessness.

The capital is a terrifying place. Monsters lurk in its shadows.

I suddenly recalled my master’s drunken grumbling about it.

---

"……"

"How long are you gonna stay frozen, Rex?"

Turns out, women’s freshly worn underwear was too much for a virgin’s psyche. Rex took a while to reboot.