Chapter 7

Let me take a moment to explain the profession known as "adventurer," the line of work Rex and I make a living in.

An adventurer is, in essence, a jack-of-all-trades. It’s a system where ordinary folks hire adventurers individually through the intermediary Guild.

"Fetch this for me," "Escort me here," "Help set up this event," "Work at my shop for a while."

Adventurers handle everything from menial chores anyone could do to combat requests that require actual skill.

However, adventurers always dance with death. Most requests have deadlines—miss them, and you forfeit your reward. And if you stay silent too long past the deadline, your name gets added to the deceased list. Clients won’t wait forever for an adventurer who might already be dead.

So, what’s my point? After finally showing my face at the Guild again, I saw my own name on that very deceased list with my own eyes.

…How depressing.

---

"Ugh, it’s Rex."

Yesterday, after I slapped some sense back into Rex, the fire returned to his eyes, and he declared he’d start taking jobs again like before. Good for him.

And today, we arrived at the Guild to pick up our first request as a four-man—well, four-person party.

This Guild is new to me. My old one was farther out, so I used a different branch. I guess the deceased lists are shared across Guilds.

This place felt more crowded and lively than I was used to.

A weathered wooden building with a faint musty smell.

Men lounged near the central request board, killing time and waiting for high-paying jobs.

“Bet he’s gonna grab another big reward.”

“Must be nice, dragging girls around.”

Rex didn’t even glance at the board.

He was headed straight for the special requests—exclusive jobs only available to Guild-approved adventurers.

These jobs weren’t posted publicly; you had to ask the receptionist directly.

Stuff like noble escorts, scary monster hunts, or uncharted dungeon exploration. They all carried a whiff of death, but the pay was great.

In short, they were profitable. And that’s why being Guild-approved also made you a target of envy.

"Ugh, another new girl?"

"Bet he gets to do whatever he wants with ‘em in bed every night. Hope he dies."

…I expected this, but Rex’s unpopularity is on another level.

His reputation lets him grab the best jobs first. On top of that, his party consists entirely of rare, cute female adventurers.

Honestly, when I first saw his party, I was jealous too. Surrounded by nothing but cute girls, huh? No way he picked ‘em for skill over looks.

"……"

The stares around us were icy.

Mei shrank back, gripping Rex’s armor like she wanted to disappear. Karin… didn’t seem to care much.

But the real reason for all this?

"What, the weaklings jealous again? Shoo, shoo. You’re creeping out my party. Stay in your corner and tremble like the trash you are."

Yep. Our wonderful leader’s attitude was absolute garbage. Dude, learn some tact.

"What? Got a problem? I’ll take on anyone, anytime."

"…Tch."

And then he’d flex his skills to intimidate them. No wonder he’s hated.

Even back then, he had a knack for making enemies—or rather, looking for people to antagonize him. Not a great habit.

I’m not saying he should grovel, but at least avoid making enemies at the Guild. It might even reflect badly on the rest of us.

For Mei and Karin’s sake, maybe I should say something—

"Hey, Rex—"

"I know what you’re gonna say, Flatche. But trust me, these guys aren’t worth the breath."

Before I could scold him, Rex cut me off, and I fell silent.

Seems he’s got his reasons. But what could they—

"How dare he lay eyes on our idol, Karin-sama…"

"I wanna take a bath with Mei-chan…"

"That swordswoman looks easy…"

If you listened closely, you could hear their muttering. Bitter. Creepy.

…Gross.

"In a Guild stinking of men, walking around with female party members means friendship was never an option."

"…I was cornered by some guys hitting on me when Rex-sama saved me. That’s how we ended up together."

"Me? Well… let’s just say I ain’t got any plans to party up with anyone but Rex for now. My fans got real mad last time I tried."

"Oh my."

Wait, Karin has fans? Well, whatever.

Female adventurers are rare. And Karin and Mei are both real lookers.

Having them in his party is what’s really stirring up this mess. It’s not just Rex’s attitude—his position’s too enviable.

"Hey, quit staring! These girls are mine. Touch ‘em, and I’ll kill you!"

"Damn him… Damn him to hell…"

"Bastard… Why does he get all the luck…?"

Adventurers aren’t exactly chick magnets. Unpredictable lifespans, low and unstable pay, careers ending with one injury—it’s hard to find love in this line of work.

And here’s Rex, monopolizing the few female adventurers who are around. No wonder friendship’s off the table.

Can’t blame Rex entirely for this. Still, being glared at like this is beyond unpleasant.

As a man, I never noticed the lecherous stares male adventurers gave. So this is what female adventurers deal with?

"…Hey, you with Rex?"

"Hm?"

While shielding Mei (who looked ready to bolt), a rough-looking guy grabbed my arm.

"Yeah."

"…Stickin’ with that womanizer’ll only bring you misery. Wanna join our party instead?"

"Pass."

"Hah. Cold."

Huh. A recruitment attempt, apparently. The guy scowled and let go when I shut him down.

Maybe he thought a new face like me was up for grabs.

"Hey, I said these girls are mine. Keep eyeing ‘em, and I’ll slaughter you."

"Guild rules don’t forbid recruitment, Rex. Got a problem? Take it up with ‘em."

"…Also, Rex, cut the ‘mine’ crap. Makes it sound like you’re together."

Rex growled, grinding his teeth as he glared at the guy who’d approached me. Dude’s just as aggressive. Calling us "his women" is just asking for trouble.

Speaking of, are Mei and Karin involved with him? If so, he’s already ahead of me—a guy who died without ever knowing a woman’s touch.

Damn you, Rex. Always one step ahead…

"Wait, so you’re not together?"

"Can’t speak for the other two, but Rex and I are just party members."

"They’re my party members, so they’re mine."

"Dude, stop making it weird…"

So yeah, everyone assumed I was Rex’s lover or something. Cut it out—this is making my skin crawl. My soul’s still a man’s. No matter what, that scenario is not happening.

"Wait, so Mei-chan’s single too?"

"Is Karin-sama still pure…?"

"There’s still hope!? I could still bathe with Mei-chan!?"

…The moment I denied any involvement with Rex, the Guild erupted. Ugh. Gross.

Back when I was a man, female adventurers didn’t cause this much of a stir. Guess my old Guild was more civilized.

Or maybe Mei and Karin are just that good-looking.

"Well, a nun shouldn’t be doin’ that stuff anyway."

"I-I’m not in that kind of relationship either…!"

"「「Yessssss!!!!!」」"

.

.

.

Ah, good. Rex is still a virgin.

"Ha, how pathetic. You shitty adventurers got what you wanted to hear? Then get out of my damn way."

"Pffft!! Rex, with all that big talk, you've never even touched a woman?!"

"Guess we should call you 'Fumble Rex' from now on."

"How about 'Rex the Cherry'?"

"I'll fucking kill you all."

Oh-ho, he's getting roasted. Rex is getting roasted by other adventurers.

This is too good—I think I'll join in on the fun too.

"Unlike you trash, I actually respect my party members! I could've done it anytime if I wanted, but I'm not some impulsive animal like you lot!"

"Oho~? So you're saying you could do it anytime?"

"Hey girls, you hearing this? Rex is saying some wild stuff over here."

"True colors showing, huh?"

"Rex reeks of virgin~"

That last one was me.

Rex's face turns beet red as everyone starts jeering at him. This stupid, rowdy atmosphere reminds me of my own guild. Adventurers really are all idiots at heart.

As for Rex, veins bulge on his forehead as he desperately tries to keep his cool. He's always going on about how easy I am to provoke, but look who can't take a little teasing now.

"Hey Rex, if you're telling the truth, why don't you try picking someone up right now? Oh wait, 'Fumble Rex' could never pull off something that embarrassing!"

"Don't be so mean to the cherry boy! You'll make lil' Rex cry!"

"My bet? Rex is secretly a total pervert who's too ashamed to ask women out!!"

"GYAHAHAHA!!"

Oh? Someone actually hit the mark. Nice one, old-timer.

"...Fine! You wanna fuck around!? I'll show you!!"

"Ooooh!! So cool, Rex!"

"Rex is gonna pick up a girl!! Everyone gather round!"

Maybe because that last comment rattled him, Rex takes the bait and loudly declares he'll seduce one of the female party members.

...Walked right into that one, Rex. No matter who you choose, this won't end well. It's clearly a trap by the other adventurers to make you lose standing with the women in your party.

Tch. Just as easy to provoke as me, huh? Maybe we really are cut from the same cloth.

So, who's he gonna pick?

It'd be best if he went for Mei, who seems to like him... Though that might cause problems too. If he picks me, I could at least let him down gently.

What if he chooses Karin? I don't know her well enough to predict how that'd go.

Well then, Rex's choice is...?

"K-K-K-Karin? How about tonight?"

"Comin' onto me? Hard pass."

He chose Karin. Oh? Mei's radiating dark energy now. Yikes, not my problem.

"I see. So Lord Rex prefers Karin, then?"

"N-no, that's not—! I just thought Karin would take it as a joke easiest!"

"Eh? That was your reason? That hurts~"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Karin, please forgive me!!"

"My poor heart~"

And thus, complete disaster. Even the strongest swordsman in the kingdom is still green when it comes to women.

The guild erupts in laughter. Adventurers really are the worst.

"But come on! You get it, right Karin? Hitting on Mei would basically be a crime!"

"Huh? Why?!"

"I mean, she's a bit young but within acceptable range, no?"

"No, it's... Mei's probably... not someone you can joke about that with."

...Oh. So Rex actually noticed Mei's feelings. That's why he avoided picking her.

"I can take a joke too, you know?"

"Ah... yeah, you're right. Sorry, Mei."

"Hmm, I see. Then why didn't you ask Flatche?"

"Well, that's..."

His eyes briefly meet mine.

Looking uncomfortable, Rex turns away before answering. I see—to Rex, I'm the newest acquaintance. So he didn't think we were close enough to joke like that—

"Flatche's obviously an easy mark. She'd probably say yes for real, not as a joke."

"Ah. Yeah, fair point."

"Excuse me?!"

Seems I'll need to grill Rex for an hour about what exactly he thinks of me.

Easy mark? I've never given you any reason to think that. Don't tell me Rex actually thinks he's got a shot with me?

"...Is Flatche really that easy? Don't tell me you've already...?"

"Of course not! Hey Rex, what the hell?! Of all things to say, you call me easy?!"

"Wait, you seriously don't know?"

"Then try me!! I'll reject you so hard you'll shatter to pieces!!"

Rex looks genuinely surprised at my outburst. Meanwhile, Mei's eyes dart between us like she's piecing things together.

Perfect timing. I've been itching to clear up his weird misconceptions.

Better to firmly reject Rex now to avoid future complications. Half anger, half calculation fuels my provocation.

If he had come to me, I planned to let him down gently. But if that's how he sees me, I won't hold back—I'll cut him down mercilessly. Don't underestimate a swordswoman, Rex.

...Then, Rex lets out a small sigh.

He grabs a used iron spoon from a nearby table.

"...R-Rex?"

"Hey... let's settle this, Flatche."

Wh-what's he planning? A... spoon? I can't read Rex's intentions at all.

But I should just ignore it. Whatever game he's playing with that spoon, I won't take such an obvious bait. Rex really thinks I'm dumb enough to rise to any challenge, huh?

I'm not that stupid.

"I'll handicap myself by using this spoon since you're so weak with a sword. Let's duel for each other's virginity."

"......"

...

Hey. What did he just say?

"Didn't hear me? Or are you scared? Yeah, must be terrifying to face me with just a spoon, huh? Fine, I'll downgrade to this used matchstick if that makes you feel better."

"......"

With that, Rex tossed the spoon back onto the adventurers' table. Then, he picked up a small, burnt-out matchstick from the floor, grinning as he pointed it at me.

His face was twisted with mockery. He twirled the blackened, nearly broken match between his fingers, taunting me.

"Ohhh? What's wrong, Flatche? Too scared to face me even with just a matchstick?"

"......"

"Man, you're adorable. Timid girls are popular, y'know~?"

...Hoh.

Hoh, hoh. I see. So that's how it is.

Rex, you bastard—you're really looking down on me, huh? Yeah, yeah...

"BRING IT ON, YOU BASTARD!!"

At this point, even someone as easygoing as me can’t stay silent. I’ll kill him. I’ll make him regret being born.

A matchstick? Of all things, you think you can fight me with a matchstick?! How full of yourself can you possibly be, you damn brute?!

Don’t even try giving me excuses like "the weapons are too mismatched." I’ll carve you up and display your junk in public, Rex!!

"Ahh, jeez..."

"O-oh no..."

Trembling with rage, I viciously drew my sword and lunged at Rex, who was still smirking—

"...She really is easy."

"Yep, went exactly how I figured it would."

I heard exasperated murmurs behind me, but I didn’t care. Beating this idiot to a pulp came first.

A few minutes later.

.

.

.

Sniff... sniff...
"Now read the contract out loud in front of everyone~"

I lost.

This is bullshit, Rex. Using your brute strength to steal my sword mid-fight is just dirty.

And then, to top it all off, you pressed that damn matchstick against my neck to declare victory?! This is infuriating!!

"I-I won’t complain if Rex sneaks into my bed tonight..."

"There we go~ Good girl. Y’all hear that? Like I said—I could do it anytime I want."

"...You sure that’s how you wanna play this?"

"Damn, Rex is trash..."

"That’s just inhuman."

As I tearfully read out the humiliating contract, the surrounding adventurers looked at me with pity.

Honestly, I think Rex just made himself even more hated after this. But... whatever.

"Rex is awful, but Flatche’s gotta reflect on this too. She way too easy to bait."

"Ahahaha, relax. I ain’t actually gonna sneak into her bed. This was just for fun."

"Shut uuuup...!"

"Pathetic..."

If Rex actually tried anything, I’d kill myself. But that’s not even the worst part.

...I lost to a half-broken matchstick.

I fought Rex with my weapon, while he didn’t even have one—and I still lost. That fact tears at my pride.

Is the gap between us... really that big?

Uwaaaah...

"But now, Lord Rex can sneak into Flatche’s bed whenever he wants, right?"

"Yep. ...N-not that I will, obviously! This is just, y’know, a joke—"

Smug as hell, Rex waved the contract in my face.

Maybe I really am an idiot. Why did I fall for such an obvious provocation?

No—I was too careless. Even if he was using a matchstick, my opponent was Rex the Sword Saint. I should’ve ignored stupid thoughts like "I’ll strip him naked" and just focused on winning.

"────Then, Lord Rex, you’ll obviously tear it up right here and now, won’t you?"

At that moment—

Mei grabbed Rex’s shoulder, her eyes glinting dangerously behind a sweet smile. She was smiling, but her eyes were dead.

"Eh? Uh, Mei? But, y’know, this is the winner’s rightful prize, and it might be useful later—"

"You’ll tear it up, right?"

"W-Well, but—"

"If you’re not planning to use it, then there’s no problem destroying it, right?"

Scary. A girl in love is terrifying. The sheer pressure radiating from Mei right now was suffocating...

Well, of course she wouldn’t tolerate that contract. It’d be like watching someone else steal Rex right in front of her.

"...Lord Rex isn’t that kind of man, right?"

"............Yes."

Eventually—whether cowed or just worn down—Rex, unable to withstand Mei’s glare, reluctantly tore up the contract, looking extremely disappointed.

Karin was the only one laughing her ass off the whole time. Honestly, she might’ve come out of this mess completely unscathed.