Chapter 8

I’ve never known a woman.

Without ever knowing one, I became one myself. I’m not even sure what I’m saying, but the point is—I still don’t really understand what a woman is.

In my days as a man, I lived only by the sword, as an adventurer. Now, with a man’s mind trapped in a woman’s body, I’ve joined my best friend’s party.

And still, I have absolutely no clue what it means to be a woman.

“You really are adorable, Flatche.”

Soft flesh wraps around me. A seductive breath brushes against my neck.

What is this?

“Ah…!”

“Hehe, making such lewd little noises. You’re such a naughty girl.”

The nun’s hands wander across my body—stroking, teasing, caressing like a tongue. And my body jerks and twitches as if it’s about to explode.

My head goes numb—I can’t think straight.

“Well then, I think it’s about time, don’t you? Let’s have some fun, Flatche…”

Naked as the day she was born, the nun whispers that as she reaches for my clothes.

What the hell is this? What the hell is this!?

Several hours earlier, before that lewd nightmare of a situation.

“Nothing?”

“Right now… yeah, nothing.”

Rex frowned. He’d marched in here full of energy, but apparently, there were no jobs available.

“Guess we’ll just come back later…”

“If anything comes up, we’ll be sure to contact you,” the receptionist said with an apologetic smile. Rex returned a polite one and turned on his heel.

If you’re wondering what there wasn’t, it was—

“If there’s no work, there’s no helping it.”

“Well, there are days like this, huh?”

We’d come all the way to the guild job board, and there just weren’t any good requests. That was all.

It’s not like we couldn’t take the miscellaneous chores posted on the board, but those jobs were often the lifeline for bottom-tier adventurers. Taking them doesn’t earn us any favors.

I used to be a “Guild-Approved Adventurer” back when I was alive, so I know how it goes. You shouldn’t snatch up simple jobs that go to injured or rookie adventurers.

“Get outta here! Demon-in-human-skin Rex!”

“How can you trick a girl that dim-looking and still sleep at night!?”

“Think I could win her over with a challenge letter…?”

Rex is already disliked, and now people are hurling abuse at him like always.

Though honestly, it feels more like jealousy than genuine hate.

“There’s no point in sticking around if it’s just gonna stress us out. Let’s head out.”

“True that. And Flatche, if someone offers you candy, don’t accept any duels from random adventurers, alright? You’ll end up in serious trouble.”

“Let’s hold hands, just in case, Flatche. That way you won’t accept any strange challenges.”

“Exactly how dumb do you people think I am?”

And so, it seems thanks to one little incident, they’ve started treating me like some kind of helpless ditz.

Karin’s clearly just teasing, but Mei… Mei might actually be serious. Unbelievable.

“You don’t need to worry so much. Flatche won’t go down that easy—as long as she doesn’t get tricked or caught off guard.”

“Wait, really?”

On the way back from the guild, I trudged along with Mei holding my hand.

Karin was right—I need to reflect. Letting myself get provoked that easily? Pathetic.

I’ve heard this before—people who get baited by taunts deep down fear they might actually be weak. If you truly believe in your strength, you don’t fall for that kind of goading.

I won’t get baited again. I am strong. I’m the one who’ll defeat Rex.

“Told you, I’m just too damn strong. I’d guess Flatche was a Guild-Approved Adventurer, yeah? She’s got the skill.”

“Wait, Flatche’s that strong!?”

“…Yeah, I had the badge.”

“So Flatche’s stronger than those scary adventurers back there?”

“Those scrubs would black out the moment they try to block my sword. Honestly, the only reason Flatche can even stand against me is because she’s insanely good at redirecting force. Like, abnormally good.”

“A weak swordsman has to think carefully about how to receive an attack. And as you can see, I’m not exactly strong. So that’s one thing I’m good at.”

“So basically—cut her some slack, alright? She only reacted to my taunt because she’s confident in her swordsmanship.”

Rex, of all people, seemed to notice how down I was and said that to cheer me up. It felt… oddly refreshing, getting support from him. If I were still a man, he’d be roasting me to death right about now.

“I totally thought you were just an apprentice swordswoman, Flatche…”

“Don’t be stupid. She’s top-class. Even if she were a guy, plenty of parties would kill to have her skills.”

“I don’t know much about sword stuff, but Flatche’s arms are skinny and she’s so petite, I just figured she wasn’t that strong.”

“…Sniff, sniff…”

So they all thought I was weak, huh…? Even though I get my ass kicked by Rex daily, I hardly ever lose to anyone else.

“Well, I’m still a hundred times stronger than you, though!!”

Rex got cocky at the end, so I kicked him in the crotch from behind.

Unfortunately, the target was so small, I must’ve missed the critical hit.

“So that’s how it is, huh…”

At that moment, I failed to notice the strange glint in the nun’s eyes──

—Back at the hideout.

"Hey, Flatche. So, uh... even though the contract was torn up, that doesn't mean the promise is void, right?"

“Eek… stay back, you perverted beast…”

“A-Alright, fine! If you hate it that much, I’m sorry, okay…?”

Just as I was about to head back to my room, that damn lecher said something that sent chills down my spine.

I got roped into it, so I won’t resist if he comes at me in the night—but I’ll follow it up with a quiet suicide. I’m prepared for that much.

“You really hate the idea that much, huh… Yeah, sorry, Flatche. I won’t bring it up again.”

“You’d better not. Honestly, can someone who lives by the sword afford to get distracted by something as soft as romance? Even the greatest swordsman would die instantly if ambushed while letting his guard down. If I were an assassin, you’d already be dead.”

“I’d probably still win, even if you caught me off guard.”

“Oh, you wanna go!? Wanna test that out right now!?”

“Calm down. See? That’s exactly what I mean about you.”

Rex gently patted my head like he was trying to cool me down, right as I was about to lose it from his provocations.

“Sorry for riling you up. Anyway, see you tomorrow. Be at the back yard on time, got it?”

“Yeah. Sounds good. I’ll make sure you regret underestimating me.”

“Keep dreaming.”

…Damn Rex. He really sees me as beneath him. It’s like he’s the only grown-up in the room.

But honestly, with our current strength difference, there’s nothing I can do. If I fail to block even one of his strikes, that’s it. Even if I dodge perfectly and counter, I still lose due to pure strength.

Hmm. Maybe I’ll do a bit of strength training before bed.

—

Later that night. After working up a decent sweat, I wiped myself off with some water from the barrel and got into bed.

I usually do some meditation or visualization before sleeping, but moving my body once in a while isn’t bad. I felt warm all over, which made it hard to fall asleep, but thanks to the mild exhaustion, the bed felt even more comfortable than usual.

While savoring that blissful drowsiness, I let myself drift into thought. Imagining his heavy, deliberate sword strikes—and the ideal way to counter them.

His sword is both a weapon and a shield. It’s so massive, most counterattacks get knocked away with just a flick of the wrist.

I have to dodge while closing the distance. Jumping to the sides or back is no good. I need to charge forward while avoiding his blade.

Charging in and countering at the same time would be best. But I’d be using my sword just to deflect his, so if I wanted to counter, I’d have to do it barehanded. That would just get overpowered by his strength.

Wait—maybe I shouldn’t counter at all. What if I just blitz past him? Slip through and get behind him after dodging.

His gear is heavy. Even turning his sword around takes effort. I’m much lighter—my turnaround would be instant. I should be able to strike first for sure.

And once he’s forced to receive my opening blow with that sluggish body of his… I might actually have a real shot at winning.

Yeah, this might work. Instead of retaliating, I’ll use his opening to gain a positional advantage. This is it. Why didn’t I think of this before?

Ah, I can’t wait for tomorrow. I can already picture Rex’s frustrated face with my sword at his back.

Maybe I’ll even ride that momentum and rack up a winning streak. The power dynamic could totally shift—

Clunk.

I was in the middle of that sweet daydream before bed when I heard something close shut inside my room. Specifically—the sound of my door being opened… and then closed.

…What the hell was that? Wait—did someone just come into my room? At this hour? Without knocking?

Creak… Creak…

Next, my bed started to creak. Like something heavy had just climbed on top of it. What the hell?

No way. No freaking way. It’s him, isn’t it? He said he wouldn’t do this. He promised he wouldn’t come creeping at night.

My head started spinning. Panicking but holding my breath, I froze, unable to even call out to the intruder.

…Wait. You liar. Don’t be stupid—stop this. The person you’re lusting after is a guy? Snap out of it, Rex. If you go through with this, I’m calling you Homo Rex from now on.

A hand grabbed my shoulder. My whole body jolted in terror.

This is bad. I’m gonna get violated.

I promised I wouldn’t resist, so I can’t even slice his head off. This is the end. It’s over.

Sorry, Natal. Looks like I’m becoming a woman before you. Also, maybe you should start bringing home a boyfriend or something, geez.

Just as my thoughts reached their peak in panicked absurdity, a familiar dialect purred into my ear—soft, sultry breath brushing my back.

"Good eeevening, Flatche."

It was a woman’s voice. Thank god—it’s not Rex.

Phew… at least he’s not the type to break a promise before the ink’s even dry. If it’s not Rex, then a nighttime visit isn’t a problem at all.

Yeah, this is totally fine.

“It’s me, Karin. Came to sneak into your bed tonight~ How 'bout we spend a hot, steamy night together…?”

…

Okay. What the hell is this?