Chapter 15: Determined to Be a Magical Girl

Magical Girl Lapis Lazuli… she was spouting utter, unadulterated, Grade-A NONSENSE! Pure, mystical psycho-babble!

Setting aside for a moment the glaringly obvious, biologically undeniable fact that his true, original-flavor form was unequivocally MALE, even if he were somehow, miraculously, female, and could still transform into a magical girl, and even if he actually had someone he romantically liked (a prospect more terrifying than any fiend, frankly)—why on God's green earth would anyone in their right mind want to do… that… in their frilly, sparkly magical girl form?! It boggled the mind!

Black—or rather, Kenji Tanaka, currently trapped in Black’s far-too-petite body—couldn’t quite comprehend that kind of bizarre, exhibitionist mindset. Could it possibly be because the magical girl form was somehow more… stimulating? More… kinky? Though, she had, with a growing sense of dread, heard whispers that many people, disturbingly, were indeed in that particular line of rather specialized "entertainment" these days… The internet is a dark and terrifying place.

Black vigorously shook her head, trying to physically dislodge the unsettling, X-rated thoughts.

Okay, fine. So, considering what both the bubbly Strawberry Sweetheart and the unnervingly serene Lapis Lazuli had pontificated, it seemed that magical girls, at their core, truly were supposed to be noble warriors of love, drawing their incredible strength from deep, meaningful affection and positive emotions. But what about her? What about him? Where did his power come from? Corporate rage? Existential despair? The burning desire for a decent pension?

She couldn’t help but pull out her smartphone, her thumb automatically navigating to the gallery. With a few hesitant taps, scrolling to the very bottom, past endless screenshots of spreadsheets and pictures of half-eaten convenience store meals, she found it: a faded, cherished photograph of a smiling woman.

“It’s… really been so many years now, hasn’t it… Honey?” Kenji whispered, his voice thick with an old, familiar ache. “Can you… still give me strength? Even now?”

After staring at the image for a long, silent, and utterly unproductive moment, she reluctantly put the phone away with a deep sigh.  

Magical Girl Black—or rather, Kenji Tanaka, recently unemployed—

She found a suitably dark, dingy, and secluded alleyway (surprisingly easy to find in this city), quickly transformed back into her mundane, middle-aged salaryman form, and then, with a groan that could curdle milk, began the process of Browse online job recruitment sites on her phone. Joy of joys.

After an hour or two of fruitless, spirit-crushing searching, filled with endless listings for "dynamic entry-level go-getters" and "passionate social media ninjas" (whatever the hell those were), Kenji had to temporarily, grudgingly, admit defeat. Finding a decent or even remotely tolerable job at forty-something, with a resume that screamed "obsolete corporate drone," was genuinely, horrifyingly difficult. What made it infinitely worse, a true nail in the coffin of his self-esteem, was that he didn’t possess any truly marketable, in-demand skills. "Advanced proficiency in Microsoft Office Suite" and "ability to look busy while secretly dying inside" hardly counted as irreplaceable talents in this fast-paced, unforgiving modern age. And asking him, a man whose primary physical exertion for the past two decades had been competitive stapler-racing, to suddenly do demanding manual labor now would be… well… a recipe for a swift and painful hernia.

Magical Girl Black’s stamina, her raw physical power, seemed almost terrifyingly limitless, like some kind of perpetually regenerating cheat code. But Kenji Tanaka’s stamina? It was, to put it mildly, nothing special. Just the depressingly average, rapidly declining level one might expect from a man his age.

An icy tendril of pure, unadulterated anxiety inevitably began to creep into his heart, squeezing it like a vise.

Could it be that, from now on, he would truly, genuinely have to continue operating as the fearsome Magical Girl Black indefinitely, day in and day out, just to scrape together enough money for his daughter’s ever-increasing future dowry and his own rapidly dwindling pension fund? Wasn’t that also a bit…

Who, oh who, could possibly understand the unique, soul-crushing anxieties of a middle-aged, unemployed magical girl father? The sheer, unmitigated horror of it all?

He returned to his empty, silent apartment, feeling somewhat dejected, lost, and utterly, completely pathetic. Though it was a rather wicked, almost fiendish thought, he now genuinely and almost desperately wished for a fiend, any fiend, to suddenly, conveniently appear. After all, if there was a fiend, a real, tangible enemy to fight, he could finally transform into Magical Girl Black. He could vent all his pent-up, simmering anger and bitter frustration on that fiend, preferably with extreme prejudice and a lot of unnecessary property damage. All those negative, soul-corroding emotions…

He remembered Strawberry Sweetheart’s innocent, well-meaning question about harboring resentment. Misfortunes, it seemed, truly never came singly. Just when he absolutely, positively shouldn’t be harboring any negative emotions, lest he accidentally trigger some kind of catastrophic Inversion, he was feeling so incredibly, overwhelmingly miserable because he’d been unceremoniously laid off from his dead-end job… The universe clearly has a sick sense of humor.

Suddenly, a profound, crushing sense of loneliness washed over him.

Hana, his beloved daughter. Ren, his future son-in-law (probably). They were both off at school, living their youthful, hopeful lives, blissfully unaware of his internal turmoil. His former colleagues at the company, whether he’d gotten along with them or not, were probably all still dutifully at work, slaving away at their desks. In this vast, impersonal city, if he had to honestly say he’d made any real friends… well, Ren’s parents were likely at work too, busy with their own respectable, non-magical-girl lives.

It felt as if he were the only truly idle, useless person left in the entire world, as if only he was so utterly, completely aimless, adrift in a sea of productive, purposeful people. His very existence felt… superfluous. Redundant. A cosmic joke.

What am I even supposed to do with myself now? What’s my purpose?

After so many long, monotonous years trapped in the soul-crushing drudgery of corporate life, he realized, with a sudden, sickening shock, that he seemed to have completely, utterly lost the ability to simply… enjoy himself. To find joy in anything. Even though he was, technically, quite wealthy now, wealthier than he had ever been before in his entire miserable existence, thanks to Black’s… extracurricular activities… He didn’t even know what to spend the damn money on. Buy things? Pointless material possessions? Should he, like Hana, download that ridiculous "Magical Girl Brawl" game and then, with a heavy heart and a profound sense of irony, spend his hard-earned money to try and pull gacha for his own ridiculously overpowered character? The thought was almost too absurd to contemplate.

In the past, he hadn’t dared to entertain himself, hadn’t allowed himself any luxuries. He was always saving, always scrimping, always fantasizing about what he would do, how things would be different, if only he had more money. But now, now that he did have money, more than he knew what to do with, he just felt… empty. Hollow. A vast, aching void resided within him. Only when the relentless, mind-numbing hustle and bustle of his former life had suddenly, jarringly ceased, only when things had finally, terrifyingly quieted down, did he finally, truly discover the gaping, echoing emptiness in his own heart.

So, this… this is who I really am. A pathetic, empty shell of a man.

The sudden, brutal realization that he was, in fact, a rather tragic, pitiable individual made Kenji Tanaka’s already bleak mood plummet even further into the abyss. He didn’t even know what he had been striving for, what he had been fighting for, all these long, weary years. The mundane, respectable life he had so painstakingly, so sacrificially built… it had all been so easily, so cruelly destroyed, wiped away in an instant. And now, being a magical girl, this ridiculous, humiliating gig which he had initially considered a mere part-time job, a temporary means to earn some extra cash on the side, had somehow, inexplicably, become his last, desperate resort. His only remaining lifeline.

What if… what if I really do enter that terrifying Inverted state? What then?

Will everything be ruined? Will I lose Hana? Will I become a monster?

That night, Ren Akiyama, looking slightly harried but determined, rushed to Magical Girl Black’s private, officially sanctioned room at the organization’s headquarters. His face was etched with a mixture of confusion and concern. “Miss Black, I apologize for the late hour, but… didn’t you specifically say before that I shouldn’t bother you unless it was an absolute emergency…?”

“Kid, there’s something I… I’d like to ask of you. A favor, you might say.” Transformed into the imposing, confident Magical Girl Black, Kenji Tanaka instantly gained a much-needed surge of courage, a borrowed bravado that allowed her to say things she normally wouldn’t dare utter in her civilian guise. “If you’re willing to provide me with your… assistance in this matter, I can, perhaps, meet some of your conditions. Within reason, of course.” He tried to sound cool and aloof, but his voice trembled slightly. “I… want you to teach me. Teach me everything there is to know about being a Supporter. All the theory. All the practical applications.”

Ren was immediately, understandably puzzled. His brow furrowed. “Teach you, Miss Black? About being a Supporter? But… why would you want to know about that? With all due respect, you’re the Esper, the hero. I’m just… the support staff.”

“I heard, through the grapevine, that you originally became a Supporter, that you endured that hellish exam, primarily so that you could, in the future, provide dedicated support to that rather spirited young girl named Hana Tanaka, correct?” Black pressed, her voice carefully neutral.

This wasn’t exactly a state secret, so Ren nodded, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. “Yes, that’s correct, Miss Black. Is there… some problem with that?”

“So, to put it bluntly, kid,” Black stated, her tone direct and unwavering, “no matter how well we manage to cooperate, how effectively we synergize during this… temporary assignment… eventually, one day, you’re going to leave me and go support her, aren’t you? That’s the plan, right?” Her voice was surprisingly, almost painfully, blunt. “Therefore, I hope that during this interim period, while you’re still stuck with me, you can teach me everything you know about being a Supporter. All the tricks of the trade. That way, when you inevitably leave, I won’t have to go through the agonizing, time-consuming process of finding and training yet another clueless rookie Supporter.” And, as a delightful, entirely professional bonus, Black thought with a flash of her old corporate cunning, I can then subtly, indirectly, perhaps even officially, take over some of those Supporter duties myself and thereby justify collecting two salaries from the organization. Genius! Pure, unadulterated, financially motivated genius!

Ren listened, a strange, almost suspicious feeling dawning on him. Something about this whole proposal, about Black’s sudden interest in Supporter methodologies, didn’t quite add up. It felt… off. The way she said it, it sounded almost as if, aside from him, Ren Akiyama, she wouldn’t acknowledge or accept any other Supporter, ever. But… but why me? What honor have I, Ren Akiyama, a mere rookie intern, possibly earned to deserve such exclusive, almost possessive trust from the terrifying Magical Girl Black? This is… weird. He remembered, with a sudden jolt, how Black had kept looking his way, specifically his way, during the concert… and how she had, rather pointedly, added Hana as a contact afterward. Thinking back on it now, with this new, bizarre request… could she have been… subtly, creepily, trying to gather intelligence on him through Hana? For what nefarious purpose?!

But… but this won’t do! This is completely unacceptable! My loyalty is to Hana!

“Miss Black, with all due respect,” Ren began, trying to gently, diplomatically persuade her, his voice filled with an earnest sincerity that was entirely genuine, “as the old saying goes, all good things, even productive working relationships, must eventually come to an end. Life itself is but a long, unpredictable journey of fleeting encounters and inevitable, often painful, partings.” He paused, gathering his thoughts, channeling his inner philosopher. “This process, this cycle of meeting and separation, may indeed involve heartache, sorrow, and a profound sense of loss. But it also, invariably, brings unexpected surprises, new opportunities, and moments of genuine, heart-warming joy. If one constantly, stubbornly dwells on the past, on what has been lost, one can never truly, fully face the future with an open and happy heart, Miss Black.” He looked at her with what he hoped was a wise, encouraging expression.

Black paused, genuinely taken aback. She hadn’t expected to hear such surprisingly profound, almost poignant words from someone Ren’s age. Damn it, the kid… he’s right. He’s absolutely, infuriatingly right.

Am I… am I always so stubbornly unable to let go of the past? She knew, with a painful certainty, that she hadn’t really let go, not truly. Not ever. But this… this was getting dangerously, uncomfortably off-topic. And far too close to home. Black quickly, forcibly, pulled the conversation back on its intended track. “So, let me get this straight, kid. Are you saying you’re not planning to teach me anything about being a Supporter, then? Is that your final answer?” Her voice was sharp again, back to its usual abrasive tone.

“N-no! Not at all, Miss Black! Of course, I will teach you everything I know about such matters!” Ren immediately, and perhaps a little too eagerly, reassured her. “A Supporter’s sacred duty is to assist their assigned Esper in all conceivable aspects of their life and work—that, in fact, is the very first, most fundamental thing I will teach you, Miss Black. Even knowledge concerning my own personal methodologies and trade secrets, I will impart them all to you without reservation or hesitation. This is, I believe, the basic, non-negotiable professional ethic that every dedicated Supporter should possess.” He puffed out his chest slightly, looking very proud of his commitment to his chosen profession.

Professional ethics! Ha! This is exactly the kind of manipulative, corporate brainwashing that high-level, soulless executives use to exploit their poor, unsuspecting underlings! This kid has been thoroughly indoctrinated already! Kenji thought with a surge of cynical despair.

“In that case, Miss Black,” Ren continued, oblivious to her internal turmoil, “I will perhaps need to carefully arrange my schedule to accommodate these… training sessions. Miss Black, are you, by any chance, free during the daytime hours?”

Black looked at Ren with a mixture of confusion and suspicion. “Kid, don’t you have, you know, school during the day? Like normal teenagers? Even if I am somehow free during the day, which I highly doubt, what exactly do you plan to do? Ditch your classes?”

“Oh, that’s not a problem at all, Miss Black,” Ren said with an airy, almost infuriatingly casual wave of his hand. “I’ll just submit a formal application directly to the school for extended leave. I have all the relevant Supporter credentials and official documentation from the organization, you see. The school is contractually obligated to allow me to leave the campus as needed for official duties. After all,” he added, with a touch of what Kenji could only describe as unbearable youthful arrogance, “my regular high school studies don’t really hold much academic meaning or challenge for me anymore, to be perfectly honest. I can get full marks on practically any exam without even trying. Continuing to just sit in class all day would be, frankly, a colossal waste of my valuable time and intellect. I probably only need to show up for the mandatory monthly tests, the midterms, and the final exams, just to keep up appearances.”

How… how can you say something so unbelievably, outrageously arrogant with such a calm, composed, almost bored expression on your face! This kid is unreal!

To be perfectly fair, Hana’s academic performance, while not exactly setting the world on fire, wasn’t terrible. In a grade of roughly four hundred students, Hana usually, consistently ranked somewhere in the respectable 60th to 100th percentile. Of course, that wasn’t exactly outstanding, Ivy-League material either. But compared to Ren Akiyama, who consistently, effortlessly, and probably without even breaking a sweat, topped the academic rankings year after year, the difference was… vast.

However, back in his own long-forgotten school days, Kenji Tanaka, if she recalled correctly through the mists of time and middle-aged regret, could have, with some justification, been considered a top student, a genuine academic achiever—at the very least, her grades had been significantly better than her own daughter’s current mediocre performance. So, personally, she felt, with a father’s critical eye, that her daughter really wasn’t applying herself enough academically. But regardless of her personal opinions, when faced with a true, undeniable, almost terrifying academic prodigy like Ren, Miss Black still felt a distinct, uncomfortable pressure. It was like a mere mortal suddenly finding themselves in the presence of a benevolent but undeniably superior god; that sharp, unnerving awareness of a vast, unbridgeable intellectual disparity… it was… humbling. And a little bit terrifying.

Fortunately, she was a magical girl! An incredibly powerful, fiend-punching magical girl! And Ren, no matter how ridiculously, unfairly smart he was, was still, at the end of the day, just an ordinary, powerless human—a Normie. Finding a small, petty psychological comfort by leveraging this kind of blatant, power-based advantage over others made Black feel a little bit ashamed of herself, but hey, it couldn’t be helped. A man had to take his victories where he could find them... right?

“Speaking of which, Ren,” Black said, her voice suddenly softer, almost… gentle? “You... really like that girl, Hana, don’t you?”

“Of course,” Ren said without a moment’s hesitation, his voice utterly, disarmingly frank, his eyes shining with a pure, unwavering devotion. “From a very, very long time ago, long before I even knew what love truly was, I decided. I decided that I would protect her. Always.”

Ah… A strange, unexpected warmth spread through Black's chest. Suddenly… suddenly, I’m a little bit envious of my own daughter! To have someone like this, someone so devoted, so sincere, to cherish and to spend a lifetime with—

For some inexplicable reason, looking at Ren’s resolute, almost fiercely protective expression, Magical Girl Black’s heart suddenly, unexpectedly relaxed. A profound sense of peace washed over her. She was certain, with an almost unshakeable conviction, that if, one day, she died during her magical girl activities, or if she finally, catastrophically Inverted and had to be… cleaned up… then Ren Akiyama would definitely, absolutely protect her precious daughter, Hana. He would keep her safe. He would ensure her happiness. And if that was the case—then perhaps, just perhaps, being a magical girl wasn’t such a terrible, unbearable job after all.

After all, it was a rare, almost unique job that had, against all odds, given her a renewed sense of passion, a reason to fight. When she transformed into the fearsome Magical Girl Black, she could vent her emotions freely, without restraint. She possessed immense, almost intoxicating power. She could do whatever she wanted, free from the crushing constraints of mundane society… What was so inherently bad about that, really? It was… liberating.

Before, she hadn’t dared to truly, fully face such overwhelming, terrifying power. She had been afraid of it. Afraid of what it might turn her into. The risks of this job were undeniably, terrifyingly high. After hearing the tragic stories of Magical Girl Crystal and the burdens carried by Strawberry Sweetheart, she had become even more acutely worried, more deeply anxious about this whole insane line of work. That was the real reason why she had been so desperately, almost pathetically, trying to find a normal, boring, safe office job during the day.

But—at this precise moment, after hearing Ren’s simple, heartfelt words, after seeing the unwavering conviction in his eyes, she suddenly realized something profound. Something important. Both kids, Hana and Ren, they had already grown up so much. The boy named Ren Akiyama, he was already an incredibly outstanding, capable, and reliable young man. If Ren was there, by Hana’s side, then her precious daughter would surely, definitely be able to live a happy, fulfilling life, even without Kenji, her useless old dad, constantly hovering around. After all, Ren was so exceptional… so dedicated… And if that was true… then he, Kenji Tanaka, could finally, truly, without reservation, allow himself to do it—

To fully, wholeheartedly, embrace being… Magical Girl Black!

Involuntarily, almost unconsciously, she—Kenji, as Black—reached out a hand and gently, almost tenderly touched Ren’s cheek. In Ren’s suddenly surprised, concerned, and slightly alarmed gaze, she quickly, awkwardly, withdrew her hand, a blush rising to her cheeks.

“Miss Black! W-what are you doing? Are you alright?” Ren asked, his voice filled with a mixture of surprise and genuine concern.

Magical Girl Black, for the first time, showed a truly genuine, heartfelt smile. It was completely different from the wild, almost manic laughter she displayed during battles. This time, her smile was unexpectedly bright, disarmingly sweet, and almost… beautiful.

“What’s wrong, Mr. Akiyama?” she purred, her voice suddenly playful, almost teasing. “Are you perhaps… developing an interest in magical girls? Could it be that, just mere moments after so gallantly declaring before me that you would protect that girl, Hana, you’re now planning to… make a move on a vulnerable, mysterious magical girl like myself? Tsk, tsk. Such a fickle heart.”

“P-please don’t joke like that, Miss Black!” Ren, finally realizing that Black was, in her own incredibly awkward way, actually teasing him, let out a sigh of immense relief, though he complained slightly, a hint of red still dusting his cheeks. “Honestly! If she found out you said something like that, I’d be nagged relentlessly for ages! She’d never let me live it down! But… um… Miss Black… you seem to be in a much better mood now. Considerably so, in fact.”

“Oh? Is it that obvious, kid?” Black asked, a genuine lightness in her voice.

“Of course, it’s obvious! Just a few minutes ago, you looked like you were about to either cry or commit murder. Or possibly both simultaneously.”

Black rubbed her face, a soft and almost wistful expression in her eyes. “Alright… I guess I just… figured a few important things out, that’s all.”

She looked at Ren, that bright, genuine smile never once faltering.

“…” Ren found himself momentarily speechless, staring at the transformed magical girl before him.

Magical girls… they truly, undeniably possess a terrifying, almost irresistible charm.

The young man sighed inwardly, a strange mixture of awe, confusion, and a dawning sense of profound respect filling his heart. This is going to be a very interesting internship.