Chapter 23: Before the Promotional Video Shoot

Kenji Tanaka, for his part, had absolutely no intention of demanding some kind of archaic, complicated betrothal gift. After all, he and the Akiyama's had been old friends, practically family, for so many years. If you broached a sensitive topic like that, asking for too little would make it seem like you were looking down on them, that you didn’t value their son. Asking for too much would just damage the relationship and make things awkward. It was far, far better to just not bring it up at all. A logistical and emotional nightmare, avoided. Besides, it wasn’t like he was short on cash these days, was he? With the frankly absurd income from his… magical girl work… these past couple of months, his daughter’s financial future, for the rest of her natural life and probably well into the next one, was already more or less completely, irrevocably settled. He could probably buy her a pony if she asked nicely.

So, this particular, delicate issue wasn’t really worth any special, prolonged discussion. “About that,” Kenji began, trying his best to sound like a normal, reasonable, and not-at-all-secretly-a-magical-girl father, “we can’t just ignore the children’s own feelings and opinions in this important matter. Let’s just wait until they get back and…”

Right on cue, as if summoned by the inescapable laws of narrative convenience and dramatic timing, the two kids themselves happened to walk through the door, laughing about something on Ren's phone.

“Ah! Come in, come in! You’re just in time!” Mrs. Akiyama bustled about cheerfully, her face alight with joy. “Oh, my dear Hana-chan, you’re looking more and more beautiful, more radiant, every single day! A true gem! And Ren, my boy, what are you just standing there for, gawking like a fool! Go and get ready! Your dear Tanaka-ojisan was kind enough to bring over a magnificent cake; the least you can do is help him put the candles on it!”

Ren, ever the dutiful son (and future son-in-law), immediately, and with a polite smile, scurried off to do his duty.

Once Hana Tanaka arrived at the Akiyama residence, she was like a completely, almost uncannily different person from the sullen, sarcastic gremlin who usually haunted her own home. Her face was wreathed in a brilliant, sunny, and utterly charming smile. She chirped “Ojisan, Obasan” with perfect, almost angelic politeness, and even her attitude towards her own long-suffering father, Kenji, was surprisingly warm, respectful, and almost… daughter-like.

If only, if only she were like this at our house too, Kenji sighed internally, a familiar pang of paternal sadness in his heart. When, exactly, did my precious daughter become someone who puts on one polite, perfect face for outsiders, and a completely different, almost feral one for her own family? But then, a new, uncomfortable thought struck him. He thought about how he himself, Kenji Tanaka, transformed into the terrifying, foul-mouthed Magical Girl Black. He, too, was a master of being two-faced, of having a hidden side. And he felt, with a fresh wave of guilt, that he had absolutely no grounds, no moral high ground whatsoever, to criticize his daughter for doing the exact same thing. Like father, like daughter, I suppose. We’re a family of hypocrites.

Soon, a large, groaning table was laden with a veritable feast of delicious-looking, home-cooked dishes. Seated around the lively dinner table, the atmosphere was warm, cheerful, and filled with a sense of happy anticipation.

“Everyone, if I may have your attention for a moment! I have a very important announcement to make!” Ren said suddenly, looking directly, and with a very serious expression, at Hana. “I’ve… I’ve passed the official Supporter examination! And as of a few days ago, I am now officially, contractually, Magical Girl Black’s personal Supporter!”

“WHAAAT?! NO WAY! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

Hana Tanaka completely, utterly lost her carefully maintained composure. All pretense of being a demure, polite young lady vanished in an instant. “You mean… you mean THE Magical Girl Black?! The super cool, super scary, totally badass one?! My new oshi?!”

“Of course! The one and only!” Ren said, puffing out his chest with an immense, almost unbearable amount of pride. He looked like a peacock who had just won the lottery. “Those impossible-to-get concert tickets from the other day? I managed to snag them through Miss Black herself, you know! A little professional perk!” He beamed. “And, as for your special birthday gift, Hana-chan…”

Before Hana, her mind still reeling from this shocking, world-altering revelation, could fully process what was happening, Ren produced a sleek, official-looking envelope from his jacket pocket with a theatrical flourish. “This… is an official invitation from the Hero Organization, personally extended to you, Hana Tanaka. It’s an invitation to also act as an apprentice Supporter, to support the one and only Magical Girl Black in her heroic activities. Miss Black herself has already personally, enthusiastically approved it. She even gave you that awesome, autographed figurine today as a welcome gift, didn’t she?”

“AAAAHHHHHH!!!! KYAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Hana practically wanted to shriek with pure, unadulterated, fangirl joy. If she had been alone in her room right now, she would definitely, absolutely be clutching the precious invitation to her chest and rolling around ecstatically on the floor in a fit of pure, blissful happiness. But here, in front of Ren’s smiling parents and her own bewildered, slightly alarmed father, she struggled, with a monumental, almost superhuman effort of will, to maintain her demure, ladylike, future-daughter-in-law image. Her lips, however, were twitching uncontrollably into a massive, ear-to-ear grin that was, as they say, harder to suppress than an AK-47’s recoil. With trembling hands, she accepted the sacred invitation.

Then, as if suddenly remembering something important, something crucial, she looked over at her father, her expression now a mixture of hope and profound worry. Please, Dad, please don’t say no…

Kenji Tanaka cleared his throat twice, trying to sound as fatherly and responsible as possible. “Well, Hana, you were always planning to become a hero anyway, one way or another. And… you’re grown up now. You can, and should, make your own decisions about your future.” He paused, then added, his voice softer now, “And you were just… attacked by those fiends the other day. Being by Magical Girl Black’s side, under her protection… it’s probably the safest possible place for you to be right now. And about… Magical Girl Black…” he hesitated again, choosing his words carefully, “I’ve… ah… I’ve heard some things about her. Through the grapevine. And… I suppose… I can rest easy, knowing you’re with someone so capable.”

Hana couldn’t believe what she was hearing! Could these reasonable, supportive, almost cool words really be coming out of her own stubborn, old-fashioned, usually-says-no-to-everything father’s mouth?! It was a miracle! A birthday miracle! Could it be that her recent, terrifying brush with death had finally, finally knocked some sense into her stubborn, overprotective father, made him see things differently? Or was this just him putting on a polite, agreeable face because they were at the Akiyama’s house and he didn’t want to cause a scene? Whatever the reason… she’d take it!

Hana, overcome with emotion, threw her arms around Ren in a massive, bone-crushing hug. “I love you so much! Ren! You’re the absolute best boyfriend in the entire universe!”

Both sets of parents looked on, their faces wreathed in knowing, heartfelt, and slightly smug smiles.

As the designated patriarch of the "groom’s" family, Mr. Akiyama, with a cheerful clearing of his throat, spoke up first. “Well, now that that’s all settled, and since you two lovebirds are both here… we, your esteemed parents, were just discussing… we were thinking of perhaps holding the official engagement party sometime this year. A small, intimate affair, of course. And then, once you’re both of legal age, you can get officially married! As for all the tedious legal paperwork, registering the marriage and such, we can wait until you actually reach the legal age of consent for that… What do you two think? Does that sound like a reasonable plan?”

The young man and the young woman, both still basking in the glow of their recent Supporter-related excitement, were both instantly, utterly stunned into a shocked, blushing silence.

Even someone as generally mentally mature and composed as Ren Akiyama hadn’t, in his wildest dreams, expected his parents and his future father-in-law to just dive straight into this particular topic, right here, right now, in the middle of a birthday dinner! This was just too unbelievably, shockingly, almost terrifyingly fast! Was this even a conversation that mere high school students were supposed to be hearing, let alone participating in? The teachers at their school were constantly and almost obsessively cracking down on so-called "inappropriate puppy love" and public displays of affection, and here their parents were, already casually talking about engagement parties and marriage timelines? The whiplash was intense.

Compared to Ren’s wide-eyed bewilderment, Hana’s face had turned completely, incandescently red, the color of a perfectly ripe, sun-kissed apple. She answered in a tiny, mortified, almost inaudible voice, her eyes fixed firmly on her own lap, “Th-th-things like that… you… you all can just… you can just arrange it, I guess… I mean… we’re… we’re not actually adults yet…” Her voice trailed off into a squeak.

Ren, bless his quick-thinking Supporter brain, finally snapped out of his daze. “I’ll… I’ll go with Hana to look at… ah… engagement rings and… and other such formal things… another day. Soon. I’ll… I’ll send you pictures of our top choices then. For your approval, of course,” he said, directing his words primarily to his own beaming parents, though he risked a quick, shy glance at Kenji.

“Yes, yes! Let’s do just that! An excellent plan, son!” Mr. Akiyama boomed, clearly delighted.

Kenji Tanaka, for his part, expressed no objection, merely giving a quiet, fatherly nod of approval. Whatever his daughter liked, whatever made her happy, was for the best. That was all that mattered.

“Well then, my dear old Kenji—” Mr. Akiyama began again, rubbing his hands together with glee as he prepared to broach the next, even more delicate topic, “about the… ah… the more traditional formalities… the betrothal gifts and such…”

The very mention of this topic instantly cast a slight, almost palpable pall over the otherwise cheerful atmosphere. All eyes in the room immediately, almost magnetically, fell upon Kenji Tanaka. After all, even in this modern day and age, these kinds of traditional, formal arrangements were still, for many families, a major and often quite stressful affair. Even Hana’s own curious, slightly anxious gaze fell expectantly on her father.

Why does this suddenly make me feel like I’m the bad guy here… the greedy, demanding father-in-law from some terrible TV drama…

“What are we even doing talking about betrothal gifts and dowries and all that old-fashioned nonsense?” Kenji said, a note of genuine, weary exasperation in his voice. “It’s not like their relationship was some kind of stuffy, antiquated, arranged marriage for political gain, is it! Good heavens, Akiyams-san, you’re making it sound as if I’m going to stand in their way, to forbid their union, if you don’t pony up some ridiculous amount of cash. Let’s not make everything so… so materialistic, so transactional. Ren is a good boy. I trust him completely. That’s all that matters to me.”

Oh. My. God! Hana thought, her eyes widening in disbelief.

My father! My actual, real-life, usually-so-annoying father! Is so… cool!

It had been a very, very long time since Hana Tanaka had felt such a profound, almost overwhelming sense of respect, of pride, for her own father. But today, tonight, she truly hadn’t expected him to say something so… so modern, so supportive, so incredibly cool. He seemed… different. So different from before. The father of the past, even if he had harbored these kinds of progressive, enlightened thoughts, would never have expressed them so bluntly, so directly. He would have launched into some long, grand, roundabout, and probably very boring speech, filled with pompous, high-minded platitudes, the kind of speech that just made your head ache and your eyes glaze over.

But… but why the sudden change? What happened to him on that "business trip"? Pondering it over and over, she still felt, with a strange sense of certainty, that it had to be because of the terrifying fiend attack she’d experienced a few days ago. That must have been what finally, miraculously, knocked some sense into her stubborn, overprotective old man. Maybe getting attacked by fiends isn’t so bad after all…

That birthday dinner, that unexpected engagement party, turned out to be a very, very happy one for everyone involved.

That night, as they each finally returned to their own respective, side-by-side homes, Hana Tanaka, for the first time in a very, very long, and often very strained while, said a simple, heartfelt, and surprisingly warm “good night” to her father, Kenji Tanaka.

The next day, a bright, sunny Monday morning, Hana and Ren, with official, organization-approved excuses in hand, both took leave from school and made their way to the imposing, high-tech headquarters of the Hero Organization.

Magical Girl Black was already there, waiting for them, looking as grumpy and out-of-place as ever. Her official job for the day, much to her internal horror, was to act as S-City’s new, official tourism ambassador and shoot a series of cheesy, probably very embarrassing promotional videos. This glamorous, high-profile, and frankly quite demeaning task was usually and almost exclusively handled by the ever-popular, ever-photogenic Strawberry Sweetheart. But apparently, Strawberry Sweetheart had something else, something incredibly important and top-secret, to attend to today and couldn’t possibly make it. Besides, the online clamor, the sheer fan demand for more Magical Girl Black content was currently at an all-time, almost fever-pitch high. The organization, ever the savvy capitalists, had to strike while the iron was hot.

The leaked, grainy footage of Magical Girl Black’s brutal, one-sided battle with the infamous Darkstar Count had unsurprisingly gone viral online, racking up millions of views, shares, and reaction videos. That video’s popularity, its "hotness," was now, according to online analytics, at an absolutely insane, almost unprecedented level. After all, Darkstar Count was not, by any stretch of the imagination, an easy, pushover character to deal with; among the so-called “Dessert Generation” of magical girls, the generation that included the mighty Strawberry Sweetheart herself, there had been at least one promising magical girl who had actually been decisively, tragically defeated by him in a one-on-one confrontation. And Magical Girl Black’s vicious and almost contemptuous, one-punch-through-the-gut finisher had led countless awestruck fans and power-level enthusiasts to breathlessly exclaim, with no small amount of hyperbole, “She is like a demon lord descending from the very heavens, truly a force of nature, a walking calamity in the mortal realm!” This Magical Girl Black, her stats, her sheer, unadulterated power level, was simply, undeniably, ridiculously too high. She was broken.

Because of the massive public interest generated by this single, spectacular battle, the developers of "Magical Girl Brawl" had even rushed out an emergency, game-balancing (or rather, game-unbalancing) patch. Although Black’s terrifying new power wasn’t technically, officially a "new form" in the traditional sense, that small, inconvenient detail certainly couldn’t stop them from capitalizing on the hype and releasing a brand new, limited-edition, and probably very expensive character based on it. Thus, they had triumphantly, and with much fanfare, introduced Magical Girl Black’s new "Wrath Mode," bumping her already absurdly high stats up another significant, game-breaking notch. Which meant, of course, that Black would, at some point in the very near future, have to endure the fresh new hell of recording another deeply embarrassing voice pack, this time for "Wrath Mode." The suffering never ends.

“Speaking of which, you!” Hana said, playfully poking Ren in the ribs as they walked down the sterile, brightly lit corridor of the organization headquarters. “You became the amazing Miss Black’s official Supporter and you kept it a total secret from me all this time! You big meanie! No wonder Miss Black was so unexpectedly and suspiciously friendly to me at the concert! So it was because you, the ultimate insider, were secretly pulling strings behind the scenes… Hmm,” she added, a mischievous, teasing glint in her eye, “you’re not, like, planning to do anything… inappropriate… to the cool and mysterious Miss Black, are you, Ren-kun? You’d better not be two-timing me!”

Ren lightly, and with practiced ease, karate-chopped Hana gently on the top of her head. “Honestly, Hana, what kind of ridiculous, soap-opera-fueled nonsense are you even thinking!” he chided, a fond, exasperated smile on his face. That’s your DAD, you silly, silly girl! Your actual, biological, currently-unemployed father! The mental image is… it’s too horrifying to even contemplate!

“Welcome, you two. I see you finally decided to show up,” Black grumbled as they entered the briefing room, her arms crossed, her expression a mask of bored impatience. “Today’s work schedule will be, I’m told, slightly more… hectic… than usual. Ren, you did prepare all the relevant materials, I hope?” Black had to admit, however grudgingly, that Ren was truly and almost terrifyingly useful. A godsend, even. Even though the kid still had to attend high school classes most of the time, he always, without fail, managed to prepare all the relevant, meticulously researched materials for her work assignments well in advance. He was a keeper.

Ren nodded, his expression all business now. “Of course, Miss Black. All preparations are complete. Today’s primary filming location is up on Mount Akagi. The materials indicate there are several famous historical sites, a rather scenic hot spring, and a surprisingly large mineral water bottling company located in the area. The primary filming requirement, the core concept of the promotional video, is to convey a sense of pristine, natural beauty and the importance of ‘giving back to nature’… I know that S-City has been aggressively trying to develop its tourism industry these past two years; it certainly looks like they’ve invested a significant amount of capital into this new campaign. The good news is, this doesn’t have to be faked or overly scripted. Miss Black, for your segments, you can probably just express your true, honest feelings about nature and… and environmentalism, I suppose.” He tried to say it with a straight face.

Black nodded, trying to look thoughtful and not at all like she was contemplating the sweet release of death. “And Miss Hana,” she said, her voice softening slightly as she turned to her daughter, “I’m glad you’re able to officially begin your activities as an apprentice Supporter as well. Welcome to the team.” She walked over to a suddenly star-struck Hana and, with a slightly trembling hand, took Hana’s own hands in hers. “Let’s… try to get along well, shall we?” Her voice was a little strained.

Hana, however, was in heaven. She was so excited, she could barely breathe. Oh my god! Oh my god! I’m holding hands with Magical Girl Black! Her actual hands! They’re so… small! And cool! This is the best day of my life! Again!

Ren, watching this bizarre, deeply ironic, and frankly quite sad little scene unfold, didn’t know why, but he suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of pity wash over him. Poor, poor Tanaka-ojisan, he thought, a sympathetic ache in his heart. Does he really, truly have to resort to this kind of elaborate, almost pathetic method just to be able to get close to, to be friends with his own daughter? Do all men, when they finally, inevitably reach middle age, become this disliked, this utterly reviled by their own teenage daughters? Is this my future? If Hana and I have a daughter one day, will this happen to me too?! The horror!

He quickly, forcefully erased the unnecessary and frankly quite terrifying imaginings from his overactive mind and, with a small cough, regained his calm, professional exterior. “Well then, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I’ll call the production team’s people over to pick us up immediately. Hana, for today, you can just observe how I work, okay? Get a general, practical idea of what a Supporter’s duties and responsibilities actually entail on a day-to-day basis. Since you haven’t formally studied any of the related knowledge or passed the exams, you can just take it slow and ask questions. No pressure.”

“Right! I’ll do my absolute best! You can count on me!” Hana declared, her voice filled with a newfound, almost overwhelming sense of purpose and determination. Then, after expressing her firm resolve, she suddenly seemed to think of something, a mischievous, almost analytical glint appearing in her eye. Her gacha-and-anime-addled brain suddenly kicked into high gear. “However,” she began, her tone now that of a seasoned, expert analyst, “according to the standard, almost universally accepted conventions of the magical girl genre, events like this—a work-related trip to a scenic mountain resort, complete with historical sites and, most importantly, a hot spring—are usually, almost inevitably, a designated ‘fan service episode.’” She paused for dramatic effect. “Which means… all the female characters, including, most likely, any female-presenting villains who might conveniently show up, will almost certainly appear in swimsuits at some point. And then, during the hot spring bathing scene, chaos will undoubtedly erupt. So, Miss Black,” she concluded, her expression deadly serious, “I would like to formally, professionally propose that we prepare ourselves, both mentally and physically, for a probable fiend attack at or near the hot spring location. It’s a classic trope. A certainty, even.”

Although it sounded on the surface like the complete and utter, trope-obsessed nonsense of a terminally online teenager, both Ren and Magical Girl Black, to their own surprise, found themselves thinking that… she actually had a point. A terrifyingly, almost uncannily accurate point.

“There is… there is indeed a ‘hot spring appreciation and relaxation’ segment in the official filming schedule,” Ren admitted, his own brow furrowing with a fresh wave of concern. “And they did, in fact, mention that they would be providing… ah… swimsuits… for that segment.” He gulped. “Now that you mention it, Hana, I’m suddenly getting a very, very bad feeling about this whole thing. Maybe… maybe we should just cancel this job? Feign a sudden illness? It might be too risky.”

Magical Girl Black, however, just laughed heartily, a sound of pure, unadulterated confidence. She waved a small, dismissive hand, looking every bit the part of an overpowered, unflappable hero. “What are you so afraid of, my dear, overly cautious Supporter! So what if some fiends show up! No matter what kind of pathetic, swimsuit-wearing fiend dares to appear, for me, aren’t they all just… pathetic fodder to be dealt with in a single, satisfying punch? Why should we care about such insignificant, predictable enemies? Do you honestly, truly think I’m like those weak, perpetually struggling magical girls you see in all those silly anime, who always need a dramatic, multi-episode power-up just to defeat a single, low-level monster? Please. I’m Magical Girl Black.”

Her confident, almost arrogant, and undeniably cool-sounding attitude immediately put both Ren and Hana at ease. Indeed, Black was different from other, more conventional magical girls. She never, ever showed any mercy or compassion to fiends. If she could obliterate them with one punch, she absolutely, and with great enthusiasm, would. To date, the only fiend who had managed to survive a direct confrontation with her was the ridiculously powerful Darkstar Count himself. And even so, that poor, unfortunate pretty boy had merely served as another convenient, if slightly more durable, stepping stone to elevate Magical Girl Black’s already terrifying battle credentials and legendary reputation even further into the stratosphere.

......

“My Queen, it would be a trivial matter to release Black’s true identity to the public,” the slender, shadowy firgure whispered, materializing from the darkness. “Let the world know she’s actually just a pathetic, middle-aged man. Surely, the resulting psychological trauma would shake her to her very core, making her ripe for Inversion.”

“Are you completely serious right now? Or have you finally lost what little mind you have left?” Darkmoon Queen looked at her subordinate, her voice dripping with a weary, almost bored disdain. She was utterly, completely speechless. “If you want to get yourself, and by extension, my entire glorious organization, instantly, brutally, and probably very messily blown to smithereens by a single, rage-fueled punch from an enraged Magical Girl Black, then by all means, I won’t stop you. Go right ahead. Be my guest. The most she’ll suffer from such a pathetic, low-brow scheme is some temporary, public embarrassment. You, on the other hand, will most likely be… well, let’s just say it won’t be pretty.” She sighed, a sound of pure, refined exasperation. “Honestly, the quality of evil minions these days is just so disappointing. No subtlety. No finesse. Now, listen carefully. I heard that S-City has recently developed a new, rather popular tourist spot, did they not? Let’s go and see if we can… ah… cause some minor, aesthetically pleasing destruction. They say there’s a rather lovely hot spring there, too. You, Shadow Walker, hack into their pathetic reservation system, get us a few of those exclusive, all-inclusive internal tickets. We, the glorious Darkmoon Coven, will go for a nice, relaxing company team-building trip. And then,” her smile widened, becoming positively wolfish, “after we’ve fully enjoyed the therapeutic benefits of the hot springs, then we’ll demolish the entire pathetic place for them! It’s called multitasking, my dear. Efficiency is key to successful villainy.”

“As expected of you, my magnificent Queen! Such a wonderfully, deliciously evil plan! Truly inspirational!” the subordinate gushed, his voice filled with renewed, zealous devotion. “But… but my Queen, if I may be so bold as to ask… what kind of swimsuit will you be wearing for this glorious occasion?”

“A bikini, of course,” Darkmoon Queen replied without a moment’s hesitation, “A very, very small one.”