Chapter 26: Similar Situation, Different Outcome

In reality, the very instant Black and Ren saw that woman, the ridiculously dressed, self-proclaimed "Darkmoon Queen," stride imperiously into their private, supposedly secure sanctuary, they both knew, with a chilling, gut-wrenching certainty, that things were about to explode. Spectacularly.

After all, this woman, this terrifying, high-level fiend leader, somehow knew Black’s true, deeply embarrassing identity. If she saw the two of them here, now, in this incredibly… compromising… situation… what would she say? What would she reveal? The possibilities were too horrifying to contemplate.

Black moved in a blur of pure, unadulterated, primal panic. With a terrifying burst of speed that literally split the very water of the hot spring in two, creating a momentary, steaming canyon, she launched herself with the desperation of a cornered animal at the surprised Queen. By the time the displaced, super-heated water had violently splashed up towards the high-tech ceiling and then rained back down like a scalding deluge, Ren saw, with wide-eyed, almost slack-jawed disbelief, that Magical Girl Black was now latched onto Darkmoon Queen’s back like a furious, miniature limpet, her hand clamped firmly, desperately, almost surgically over the Queen’s perfectly lipsticked mouth.

If she says it, it’s all over! If she reveals my secret here, in front of Ren, my life is RUINED! Utterly, completely, irrevocably RUINED! I’ll have to move to Antarctica! I’ll have to become a penguin! Kenji’s mind screamed, a shrill internal monologue of pure terror.

Darkmoon Queen, for her part, was struggling furiously, her own regal mind reeling in utter, profound shock and frankly quite scandalized disbelief! Magical Girl Black! In the exclusive, ridiculously expensive Imperial Hot Spring… with her own future son-in-law, no less! And they’re both half-naked! These two… they’re having a sordid, illicit affair! She thought, her mind immediately, and with great enthusiasm, jumping to the most scandalous, most deliciously dramatic possible conclusion. And now Black is trying to silence me! To kill me to protect her shameful secret! This isn’t just trying to shut me up—she’s trying to drown me! Right here, in this lukewarm, mineral-rich water! The sheer, unmitigated audacity of this two-timing hussy!

The two of them, like a pair of ferocious, surprisingly slippery alligators, one latched tenaciously onto the other’s back, began a chaotic, flailing, and deeply undignified “death roll” in the churning, now dangerously turbulent waters of the once-serene hot spring. Darkmoon Queen tried desperately, with all her might, to shake the infuriatingly persistent Magical Girl Black off, but Black’s absurdly high, off-the-charts stats were terrifyingly evident in every aspect of her being, including the raw, unyielding power in her deceptively slender fingers. The Queen felt as if her very face, her perfectly sculpted, aristocratic features, were about to be permanently, unceremoniously clawed off.

And Ren… poor, poor Ren… he stood there, a lone, towel-clad spectator to this bizarre, aquatic spectacle, struggling just to keep his footing in the turbulent, violently sloshing water. The powerful, almost explosive waves generated by the desperate struggle between the two mighty Espers made it almost impossible for an ordinary, non-super-powered person to even stand upright without being swept away. He knew, with a sinking, helpless feeling in the pit of his stomach, what Magical Girl Black was so desperately fighting for, what precious, life-altering secret she was so frantically, almost suicidally trying to protect.

But what could he possibly do now? How could he, a mere mortal, a rookie Supporter, possibly hope to intervene? He was completely, utterly powerless to get involved in a physical struggle between two such mighty, reality-bending beings. He certainly couldn’t make them stop just by asking nicely. All he could do was watch, his heart pounding a frantic, helpless rhythm against his ribs…

Until, that is, the fundamental nature of the chaotic battle began to change in a very, very… unexpected, and frankly quite hilarious, way.

How should one put it?

Was it simply that the magnificent, all-powerful Darkmoon Queen was, after all, still fundamentally a woman who cared about her appearance? Her swimsuit, a stunning, and probably very expensive designer piece, unlike Black’s magically conjured, practically indestructible one, was not something formed from her own innate, otherworldly power. It was a genuine, ordinary, and now critically endangered piece of fabric, purchased from a high-end, designer boutique or some exclusive online store. And ordinary, fashionable fabric, especially a delicate, stringy bikini designed more for "aesthetic appeal" and "maximum poolside allure" than for high-intensity, life-or-death, magical-girl-on-fiend-queen aquatic combat, simply could not, by any stretch of the imagination, withstand the sheer, unrelenting stress of a prolonged, violent “death roll” with the likes of the surprisingly strong Magical Girl Black. The structural integrity of the garment was rapidly approaching a catastrophic failure point.

The battle, which in Ren’s horrified estimation should have been a terrifying, world-ending struggle between two super-powered titans, gradually became… significantly less terrifying. And infinitely more awkward. The Darkmoon Queen, it seemed, had very early on in the struggle realized the extreme, almost tragic vulnerability of her precious, designer-brand fabric. Her struggles, her frantic attempts to escape Black’s iron grip, became more and more… restrained. Less about actually fighting back and more about desperate, frantic… damage control.

Black, however, in her single-minded, identity-protecting panic, didn’t seem to have realized this crucial, game-changing detail yet. The Darkmoon Queen, the fearsome leader of an evil organization, was clearly, desperately, and with every fiber of her being, trying with all her might to protect her goddamn swimsuit! She wasn’t the shameless, weirdly unconcerned Magical Girl Black; she would most certainly not be okay with Ren Akiyama, this random teenage boy, getting an eyeful of her royal assets! Furthermore, this was a hot spring! A public (well, VVIP-public) place! For all she knew, there could be hidden, microscopic security cameras somewhere! And if there were, that little pervert Shadow Walker would definitely, absolutely use his creepy, boundary-violating Esper powers to try and hack into the system to get a peek at his glorious Queen in her moment of vulnerability! Of course, she didn’t know that Ren, the ultimate professional, had already, with almost paranoid diligence, swept the entire area for any and all such recording devices. But for the Darkmoon Queen, at this very moment, this fight was becoming unbearably, humiliatingly, existentially difficult. The stakes were too high!

Black was clearly, stubbornly, just trying to stop her from revealing her secret identity to her future son-in-law. But the Queen, in her infinite cunning, had absolutely no intention of revealing that particular, game-ending trump card just yet anyway… was she joking? Her next grand, evil plan literally involved using Dark Butterfly to subtly, insidiously exploit this very secret, complicated relationship to psychologically attack and manipulate Black. This was a critical, high-value, game-ending piece of intel! She would only play it at the most crucial, most dramatic, most psychologically devastating moment—a moment when its revelation would cause Magical Girl Black to completely, utterly, and hopefully very entertainingly, break down! She couldn’t just casually, carelessly toss it away in a place like this, over a silly misunderstanding! If she did, and Black truly, genuinely had nothing left to lose, she, the magnificent Darkmoon Queen, would be the one in a world of trouble.

But she couldn’t just, you know, tell Black that, could she? She couldn’t just say, “Hey, calm down, you crazy magical girl! I won’t reveal your pathetic secret! I’m saving it for a much more dramatic and emotionally damaging moment later on!” That, in itself, would prove that she knew there was a secret in the first place! So, right now, she couldn’t say much of anything at all… and her precious, probably limited-edition designer bikini was in imminent, mortal peril! It seemed she was the one who was truly, deeply facing a catastrophic, career-ending social death here!

This is bad! This is really, really, unbelievably bad! If this keeps up, I might actually get subjugated by this brutish thug for real! Over a swimsuit! The humiliation!

Should I use the Dark Moon? My ultimate power? Should I just destroy everything and make a tactical retreat? But my loyal, if somewhat useless subordinates are still out there, probably enjoying the complimentary snacks! If I just run away by myself, Black will definitely hunt them all down and mercilessly obliterate them to tie up loose ends! I can’t abandon my people! Not like this!

What do I do?! What in the world am I supposed to do?! Damn it all to hell! Think, you magnificent evil queen, THINK!

And then, in a moment of critical, desperate, almost tactical genius, she made a choice. She abandoned her precious, probably already-damaged swimsuit to its cruel, watery fate.

With a sudden, explosive burst ofl pitch-black energy that manifested as a shimmering, almost solid crescent moon, she instantly, teleportation-ally, escaped Black’s iron grip and reappeared directly behind the startled Ren Akiyama, wrapping her arms around him in a cold, vice-like grip.

“BLACK! YOU BRUTISH WENCH! If you dare to attack me again, I’ll snap this handsome little boy’s neck like a dry twig!” she hissed, her voice a low, menacing snarl.

Black froze in place, her eyes wide with a mixture of shock and fury. She hadn’t expected the Queen to be capable of such precise, instantaneous movement. She hadn’t gotten any intel about that particular ability from Strawberry Sweetheart. Was this a newly developed power? Or had Strawberry just conveniently forgotten to mention it?

Regarding the infamous Darkmoon Queen, even Black who paid very little attention to fiend intelligence reports, had heard whispers of her legend long before he had become a magical girl herself. The Queen’s "Dark Moon" Esper ability was said to be an extremely bizarre, almost reality-bending one. When she fully activated her power, a massive, terrifying dark moon would supposedly hang in the sky, swallowing all light, all hope—only those unfortunate enough to be trapped within that so-called Dark Moon Domain truly knew what her ability was, what horrors it contained. And none of them were talking. So it had always remained a terrifying, tantalizing mystery. Her old, long-standing rival, Strawberry Sweetheart, for her part, rarely, if ever, spoke about the specifics of the Darkmoon Queen’s powers. Which was, in itself, deeply unsettling.

The Dark Moon Domain… a power that can even corner Strawberry Sweetheart…

“Darkmoon Queen, you pathetic coward,” Black growled, her voice dangerously low, trying to sound intimidating and not at all like a panicked father. “Do you really, truly think that you can threaten me, Magical Girl Black, by taking one, single, insignificant hostage?”

Are you kidding me right now? Are you actually insulting my intelligence? The Queen thought, a cold, almost pitying smirk appearing on her face. “And why ever not, my dear Black? It seems to be working quite splendidly so far, doesn’t it?”

“Ren Akiyama is my official, duly appointed Supporter. He has signed all the relevant, legally binding agreements and waivers. Even if he unfortunately, tragically dies in a glorious battle against fiends like yourself, it is simply… part of the job. A known occupational hazard. Do you really, truly think that I wouldn’t dare to attack him right along with you just to take you down?” Black bluffed, trying to sound as heartless and pragmatic as possible.

The Darkmoon Queen nodded confidently, her smirk widening. “Yes, my dear. I am absolutely, positively certain that you wouldn’t dare.”

Black was instantly, crushingly silent. This bastard! This conniving, manipulative, way-too-perceptive fiend queen! She screamed internally. She knows! She knows the relationship between Ren and me, between Ren and Hana! So she’s absolutely certain, she’s betting the farm on the fact that I won’t make a move! And damn it all to hell, she’s right! I really can’t make a move! Not with him in the way!

At that precise, tense moment, the hotel staff, who had been cautiously peeking around the corner, and the members of the Darkmoon Coven, who had been regrouping outside, were all alerted by the fresh commotion and came rushing back towards the Imperial Hot Spring area, creating a scene of utter chaos.

“All of you, RETREAT! NOW! Our cover is completely, irrevocably blown! This rare, and frankly quite disappointing hot spring trip is officially over!” the Queen shrieked at her own bewildered subordinates. “Go, now! All of you! If you don’t leave this instant, I can’t get away! Scram!” The Queen had absolutely no desire, none whatsoever, to wait for the inevitable arrival of the perpetually cheerful and ridiculously overpowered Strawberry Sweetheart. If that happened, she knew, with a certainty born of past defeats, that even she might not be able to escape this time.

The fiends, all of them, took one, long, bewildered look at the bizarre, almost surreal scene before them: their magnificent, glorious, and now completely, starkly naked Queen was clinging desperately, almost intimately to a handsome young man who was, himself, wrapped only in a single, precariously positioned bath towel. Her body was pressed tightly, scandalously, against the young man’s back. Wow, they all thought collectively, a newfound respect dawning in their fiendish hearts, the Queen sure knows how to have a good time. A really good time. She’s so bold! So daring! And with that final, deeply misguided thought, they quickly, and with admirable efficiency, beat a hasty, worshipful retreat, breaking through the hotel’s now-panicked security and fleeing the scene like the loyal, if somewhat confused, minions they were.

And then, in the suddenly, eerily silent, steam-filled room, only Hana, Ren, Black, the now-completely-naked Darkmoon Queen, and the terrified, trembling hotel staff were left.

“And you people, what are you still gawking at?!” Black roared at the hotel staff, needing to vent her frustration on someone. “RETREAT! NOW! All non-Esper personnel, evacuate the premises immediately! You’ll only get in the way here! You’ll just become more pathetic hostages for her to use against me! Get out!”

The hotel staff, who had been frozen in a state of shock and morbid curiosity, breathed a collective, deafening sigh of immense relief and quickly, comically ran for their lives. Although they were, to a man, desperately curious to see how this dramatic, high-stakes, and potentially very steamy situation would play out, and maybe even get some exclusive footage for the evening news, the infamous Darkmoon Queen’s fearsome, city-destroying reputation preceded her. Who in their right mind would risk a gruesome, painful death for a little bit of juicy gossip? It simply wasn’t worth it.

“Alright, Darkmoon Queen, you’ve made your point,” Black said, her voice now dangerously calm, her eyes fixed on the fiend queen. “Let him go now, and I’ll let you leave this place alive.”

“Hmm, tempting. But I have a better idea,” the Queen purred, a sly, calculating glint in her eye. She then pointed a long, elegant, and perfectly manicured finger directly at a stunned, wide-eyed Hana Tanaka. “That girl over there. The one with the cute, if somewhat unremarkable swimsuit. Take it off and give it to me. Now.”

Hana was so shocked, she could barely form a coherent sentence. “N-no way! I-I can’t! The… the size! It won’t fit you at all! You’re… you’re much bigger than me!” she squeaked, her face turning a brilliant shade of crimson.

“…Ah. You’re right. Your physical development is, now that I look closer, far too… regrettable.” The Queen’s gaze then, with a flicker of something that might have been disappointment, fell upon Magical Girl Black’s own rather petite, if well-proportioned, magically-conjured-swimsuit-clad form. Her gaze lingered for less than half a second before she sighed dramatically and moved her eyes away, a look of profound disinterest on her face.

Magical Girl Black felt, with a surge of irrational indignation, that she had just been scorned, been judged and found wanting, on some fundamental, aesthetic level. But she wasn’t, she told herself firmly, the type of person to get angry over such trivial, superficial things. After all, she wasn’t a real girl, was she? So it didn’t matter. It didn’t! (It totally mattered.)

However, Ren Akiyama, who had been so surprisingly and almost unnervingly calm and quiet this whole time, was, at this precise moment, no longer calm. Not at all. He was still, to an outside observer, silent, unmoving. But inside his mind, a storm was raging. He thought, with a sudden, sickening jolt, of the past. Of that day. Of that failure. It was just like the story he had so recently, so painfully recounted to Black in this very hot spring.

If one were to assign blame, to seek out a villain for what had happened all those years ago, of course, the bullies, those cruel, thoughtless children, were clearly, unequivocally at fault. But beyond that? Beyond their petty cruelty? They could never truly be brought to justice, not really. And he, Ren, certainly couldn’t go and find those same, now probably grown-up kids and say, with any degree of moral authority, "Hey, remember me? I’m here to belatedly, and probably illegally avenge the six-year-old Hana Tanaka you made cry all those years ago!" He couldn’t even remember their stupid, indistinct faces anymore.

In the end, the only person one can truly, meaningfully judge is oneself. He could only, with a clarity that was like a knife to the heart, acknowledge the terrible, unforgivable mistake he had made back then. His own weakness. His own failure.

And now, right now, in this tense, terrifying, almost identical situation… was it truly any different from the past?

He had tried so hard, he had studied so diligently, he had trained his body and mind until they were at their absolute peak. He was no longer that helpless, scrawny little boy who could only watch as his best friend got hurt. And yet, at this critical, life-or-death moment, what was the actual, practical difference between then and now? He was still helpless. Still powerless. Still just a hostage.

“BLACK! I’M GIVING YOU TEN SECONDS! You need to break one of your own arms! Do it now, or this pretty boy’s head comes off! And I don’t want to be kept waiting! I don’t want to drag this out until that annoying Strawberry Sweetheart shows up!” the Darkmoon Queen shrieked, a note of genuine urgency, of pressure, in her voice now. She, too, was on a timetable. She knew with absolute certainty, that once Strawberry Sweetheart arrived, once that pink-haired menace entered the battlefield, she, the Darkmoon Queen, would completely, utterly lose her tactical advantage. Strawberry Sweetheart’s almost-cheat-like Sparkling Mode was, for her, a fatal, perfect counter. At that point, if her own Dark Moon power was suppressed by that ridiculous, hope-filled Sparkling light, then she would be reduced to nothing more than an ordinary, if very powerful, woman. And then, who knew? Even this handsome boy she was currently holding hostage might be able to pose a genuine threat to her. So, she could not, would not, be held up, be stalled by this stubborn, infuriating Magical Girl Black.

“Hurry up! Make a choice! TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN!…” the Queen began her dramatic, and probably slightly rushed countdown.

What do I do? What can I possibly do? Ren’s mind raced, a frantic, desperate search for a solution, any solution.

I’ve worked so hard… I’ve tried so desperately… so what do I have to do now to make things completely, utterly different from the past? To finally, truly protect her?

He saw the look in Hana’s eyes. It was the exact same look she’d had on her face all those years ago, when she was just six years old. A look of heart-wrenching worry for him. A look of desperate determination. She wanted to do something. She was about to do something reckless. Something self-sacrificial.

A position-swapping spell… a forced teleportation… she’s going to try and swap places with me! In that terrifying, heart-stopping instant, Ren Akiyama, with a clarity that was like a bucket of ice water to the face, understood exactly what Hana was trying to do. She was going to use her own precious, limited magic to save him! Again!

No. Absolutely not. I won’t let that happen. I refuse to let that happen again. I… I!

“HANA!” Ren suddenly, desperately shouted, his voice cracking with a mixture of fear and resolve.

The Queen, startled by his sudden outburst, tightened her grip on Ren’s neck, cutting off his air supply. “Be quiet, you little fool! Or I’ll make you quiet!” she hissed.

“REN!!” Hana cried out, her own face pale with terror, her hands already beginning to glow with magical energy.

Ren, his vision starting to blur, managed to turn his head slightly and give Hana a pained, but strangely determined, almost triumphant smile. “Don’t hate me for this, Hana-chan!” he wheezed.

And then, before anyone, not Black, not Hana, not even the surprised Darkmoon Queen, could fully understand, could fully process what he was about to do, he tensed his entire body, and… with a single, decisive, and utterly, profoundly shocking motion… he allowed the single, solitary bath towel that was precariously tied around his waist to suddenly, dramatically, and with a soft, silent splash, fall away into the steaming water below.

For one, single, brief, almost universe-altering, reality-shattering moment, the three “girls” present in the Imperial Hot Spring—the magical girl who was secretly a middle-aged man, the high school girl who was also a powerful Mage, and the terrifying fiend queen who was currently holding a naked teenage boy hostage—all, as one, stared, their eyes widening in utter, complete, almost comical disbelief. They simply could not, would not, believe the shocking, majestic, and frankly quite impressive sight that was now before them. There, in all its unexpected, unadorned glory, a great, magnificent dragon was proudly, defiantly raising its head, roaring silently at the heavens.

“WHAT IN THE SEVEN CIRCLES OF HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU INDECENT, PERVERTED LITTLE FOOL!!!!!”

The Darkmoon Queen, her mind completely, utterly short-circuited by the sheer, unexpected shock and absurdity of it all, let out an almost subconscious shriek of pure, unadulterated, maidenly horror, and instinctively, violently kicked Ren away from her as if he were suddenly covered in spiders.

In that single, chaotic, distraction-filled instant, Magical Girl Black, moving with a speed that defied logic, vanished from her spot. She reappeared in mid-air, catching the now-airborne (and still completely naked) Ren Akiyama, using the surface of the hot spring water as a cushion, and rolled a few times with him across the churning water with surprising grace before they both, with a final, large splash, sank beneath the surface.

A triumphant, if slightly hysterical, laugh echoed from the spot where the Darkmoon Queen had been. “You all… you all did very well today!”

And then, not even bothering to retrieve her fallen bikini top, and with a final, desperate burst of power, the Dark Moon rose, and her magnificent, and now completely exposed figure vanished from the spot, leaving behind only the lingering scent of sulfur, expensive perfume, and profound, universe-ending awkwardness.