Chapter 23: New life

The gentle hiss of water filled the air, punctuated by the rhythmic pattern of droplets against the tile. Steam curled lazily upward, softening the stark edges of the dimly lit bathroom and clinging to every surface.

Sawa stood beneath the spray, her head bowed. Water streamed over her, tracing paths down her arms and pooling at her feet before spiraling into the drain. Her hands hung loosely at her sides, fingers trembling ever so slightly.

She was in the shower, letting the water run over her skin, but this wasn't her original plan—at least not until a short while ago.

She had intended to sleep—to close her eyes and let the world fade away for a few precious hours. It was such a simple act, yet one she had longed for over the past five years.

But now, with the chance finally within her grasp, when she could close her eyes without fearing the consequences...

She simply couldn't.

The moment her eyes closed, shadows of buried memories would creep into her mind. They weren't vivid or sharp; they lingered at the edges, just close enough to send a chill through her chest. Every flicker of the past dragged her further from rest, making her stomach coil with unease.

And so, here she was, standing in the bathroom, chasing an elusive calm beneath the shower's warm spray.

She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the cool tiles. The contrast between the cold ceramic and the warmth of the water anchored her, though only just enough to keep her from spiraling deeper into her thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, she reached for the shower sprayer and turned it off. Droplets trickled down her skin as she hesitated, her hand bracing against the wall for support. 

Slowly, she moved her other hand to the edge of the shower, gripping it tightly as she worked to steady herself.

Her legs felt as unfamiliar as her hands—every movement awkward and strained. Even the simple act of walking to the shower earlier had taken her so much time and effort, as though her body was relearning how to function after a long slumber.

Eventually, she managed to step out, her feet meeting the soft mat beneath her. Steam clung to the air around her, curling gently as she stood still, catching her breath.

The apartment was far more spacious than it initially seemed—so much so that the bathroom alone was the size of a typical living room in a Japanese 3LDK house.

The shower and bathtub were housed in the same area, separated only by a transparent glass panel that offered an uninterrupted view between the two.

She cast a glance around her surroundings, deliberating on her next step. Eventually, her eyes settled on a large mirror mounted on the wall to her right. In its reflective surface, her own form stared back at her.

She took a cautious step closer, the reflection growing larger with each movement until it matched her actual size. Slowly, her hand rose, almost as if guided by instinct, and pressed against the cool surface of the glass.

Despite the steam clinging to the air, every detail and curve of her body was visible—so much so it reminded her, once again, just how different this body was from the one she used to know.

Letting the mirror blur from her focus, she lowered her gaze and raised both hands, bringing them into view as though preferring to inspect her body directly.

Kurumi hadn't lied about using that "Dalet" to completely heal her. Not a single scratch or scar can be seen. Even the signs of starvation and exhaustion were gone, leaving her body as flawless as the day she first awoke to it.

However, the dark circles under her eyes hadn't entirely faded. If anything, they seemed to be growing darker already.

Her fingers trembled as they traced along her arms, the touch hesitant, almost disbelieving. The smoothness of her skin felt alien—unfamiliar, as though it didn't belong to her...

"I thought this was my chance for redemption..."

The words echoed only in her mind; her lips didn't part, not even slightly.

"I thought, with rebirth, I could live a life where I might correct my mistakes..."

Her fists clenched tightly, nails biting into her palms, before loosening and falling limp at her sides.

"Then what were those five years for? A punishment? A way to atone for my sins?... What were my sins?"

Her gaze fell back to the mirror, meeting the reflection of someone she did not recognize.

The soulless look in that girl's eyes, the defeated posture her body gave off—if she even had met someone like that in her past life, She certainly would have hugged her tightly, whispered softly that everything would be okay...

Then why couldn't she do that now?

It wasn't a question without an answer—she couldn't lie to herself anymore.

If what that Tokisaki girl said was true, she was finally free. Safe from those who had harmed her.

If those five years were truly a punishment for her sins, then perhaps this was her chance to start over.

Be better, do better, and, maybe someday, deserve something better.

However... if that girl was lying, if she wasn't truly safe... if there was even the slightest chance she could be captured, dragged back to that place again...

Her whole body trembled, a violent shudder that seemed to ripple through her very soul. She cradled her head in her hands, fingers clutching tightly as if to hold herself together.

If she truly had lied—then at least she had this. A fleeting chance. A choice she could make with whatever scraps of time and strength she had left...

Her grip on her head slowly loosened, trembling fingers sliding down to rest lightly against her neck.

The image in the mirror stared back—a fragile, broken girl with hollow eyes, identical to her own.

It was painfully clear now. The reflection didn't lie. It spoke volumes without uttering a word, urging her to act—to seize the opportunity before it slipped away.

The darkness, the cold, the merciless ruthlessness of that place.

No one had answered her cries. No one had ended her suffering, no matter how desperately she begged—not with kindness, not with mercy, but simply by granting her the release of death.

She couldn't grasp that escape on her own, and no one else had fulfilled her desperate wish back then.

But now, she could. She didn't need anyone's help anymore.

"Guh...GAKH!"

Her breath hitched as her hand slowly tightened its grip around her neck.

If it meant silencing that small doubt—that 1% chance of ever being dragged back there—she'd rather end it all right now.

If it meant being granted another chance only to spend it repaying a debt she never agreed to, she'd rather not have been given that chance at all.

The eyes of the girl in the reflection glistened with unshed tears, her mouth agape, as though gasping for air she couldn't catch.

But then, the look in that girl's eyes suddenly shifted—subtly, yet unmistakably. It was no longer hers. Something foreign stared back, something that couldn't be explained by a trick of the light or the natural distortion of a reflection. It wasn't supposed to happen.

"!?"

The grip of her hand suddenly loosened—not out of choice, but because her legs gave out beneath her. Weak and trembling, they slipped on the slick, wet floor.

With her strength drained and nothing to steady her, the fall was inevitable. She barely registered the cold sting of the ground against her skin as her body crumpled onto the damp surface.

The sound of the impact echoed through the empty space, but she didn't move. Her breathing was shallow, her vision blurred.

"W-Why..."

This time, the words slipped through her trembling lips, no longer confined to the chaos of her mind. Her thoughts lingered on the image of the girl in the reflection just moments ago.

"W-Why...You l-look...w-wanted...live..."

Part 2:

With only the faint sound of water dripping from the shower, Sawa closed the bathroom door behind her. The quiet click of the latch echoed softly in the otherwise still air as she stepped into the dimly lit hallway.

The buttons of her pajamas around her chest hung undone, leaving her chest exposed. The loose fabric barely clung to her frame, the hemline struggling to offer even a slight cover to her breasts.

It wasn't intentional—she had tried to button it up earlier, but the task proved annoyingly difficult around her chest. 

Each attempt only pulled the fabric tighter, and she feared that forcing it further might tear the borrowed garment. Frustrated and unwilling to risk damaging it, she'd given up entirely, leaving it open for now.

As the light grew brighter in the hallway, leading her closer to the living room, a sudden thought crept into her mind, bringing with it a faint blush on her cheeks.

An unwelcome memory surfaced—To when she was undressing to take her shower, she'd noticed what she was wearing beneath the pajamas—a set of women's underwear. A white pair of panties and a plain but snug bra of the same color.

Back when she'd been wearing that wedding dress, she hadn't given much thought to what might have been beneath it. In truth, she couldn't even be certain if there had been anything at all.

So, by the time the realization hit her—how far she had already come—her face flushed an even deeper red, as vivid as a ripe tomato. 

Her body had been reshaped into that of a woman, and now she found herself intruding this deeply into women's clothing.

Still, she knew better than to act childish or complain. If she truly intended to start over and build a new life, she would have to confront and accept her new reality for what it was. No amount of hesitation or embarrassment would change it. What mattered now was adapting to the changes as best she could.

Eventually, she found her way to the living room. With a quiet sigh of relief, she lowered herself onto the sofa, momentarily leaning back against its soft cushions.

"Ah, my hair's still wet."

The thought crossed her mind as she straightened up, tugging the loose towel draped around her neck.

She had tried to dry it back in the bathroom, but it seemed her efforts hadn't been enough. Damp strands clung stubbornly to her skin, heavy with lingering moisture, and every so often, a cold droplet trickled down her back.

Still, she found herself more concerned about wetting the sofa than the possibility of catching a cold. After all, she was just a guest in this house.

She frowned slightly, running the towel through her hair in an attempt to manage the unruly mess. As someone who'd spent her past life as a man, dealing with hair this long and dense felt like navigating uncharted territory.

She wasn't even sure she had washed it properly. Had she used enough shampoo? Too much? And what about the conditioner—was she supposed to leave it in longer? The entire process had been a confusing whirlwind of guesswork, and the results were less than encouraging.

Her hair was in chaos, an untamed tangle of strands that seemed to defy all attempts at control. Long bangs clung stubbornly to her forehead and occasionally tickled her eyes, forcing her to blink them away. Strands intertwined in a hopeless snarl, creating knots that would take forever to untangle.

However, What puzzled her most was the braid—a three-strand style she didn't recall having. She was certain her hair had been left loose and unstyled before, so how it ended up arranged so intricately was a mystery.

Not that it mattered much. The moment water from the shower sprayer touched it, the braid quickly fell loose, leaving her hair wild and unmanageable.

"..."

She released another weary sigh, letting the towel fall to her lap finally giving up on her hair altogether.

"My, my... such a struggle you're having."

"!!"

A sudden voice emerged from behind, cutting through the quiet and startling her.

Before she could twist around to see who had spoken, a soft hand threaded through her hair, followed by another resting lightly on her shoulder. The touch froze her in place.

"Ufufu~ There's no need to be so guarded, Sawa-chan~~ I thought we'd already built a strong bond, hadn't we?"

Sawa swallowed hard, her fingers clenching tightly around the towel in her lap. 

"T-Tokisaki-san..."

Kurumi's hand continued to move with practiced ease, gathering the wild strands of Sawa's hair as though it were the most natural thing in the world. "You've made quite the mess of this, haven't you?"

"I-I...Don't...used...Do...this... "

Kurumi chuckled softly, "I see you're trying your best to speak openly with me... Well, that's good progress for us."

Unbeknownst to Sawa, her lips quirked into a reluctant smile.

"Ah?.."

Not long after, the sensation of Kurumi's fingers running through her hair shifted into something distinct. The delicate pull of a hair comb gliding through the strands replaced the gentle touch, the soft yet deliberate strokes teasing out tangles with surprising ease.

Sawa blinked, her gaze falling downward. That's when she noticed it—a wisp of shadowy, ink-like matter retreating beneath the sofa. It slithered back toward where Kurumi stood, disappearing seamlessly into the folds of her presence.

That's probably how Kurumi had gotten the comb so suddenly.

"So, Sawa-chan~ Have you decided on your next step?"

"..."

The question came out of nowhere, so suddenly—yet, for some reason, Sawa had expected it to come sooner or later.

Her fingers fidgeted with the damp towel in her lap, twisting and untwisting it as she searched for the right words.

It was inevitable. She knew that.

They were strangers, after all—or at least, they had been. And yet, Kurumi had done so much for her. She had shown kindness, patience, and care in ways Sawa never thought she deserved.

This arrangement couldn't last forever. Sawa knew the day would come when she'd have to move on, whether she was ready or not.

Still...

"I-I..." she stammered, her gaze fixed firmly on the floor. "I w-want..."

Kurumi didn't pause her work, her fingers deftly weaving strands of Sawa's hair into place.

"I... think we—uh... you... a-and me..." Sawa's brows knitted together, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the towel tighter. "C-could we... b-be... friends?"

For a brief moment, Kurumi's fingers paused, her deft motions stilled mid-weave. Then, as if nothing had happened, they resumed their task. "...Friends, is it? How bold of you, Sawa-chan~"

Sawa's face flushed, her voice growing smaller as she hurried on, determined to get her thoughts out before her courage failed her completely. 

"A-and... I w-want to... um... f-find a job...To p-pay... for rent. S-so, if... if it's okay... I-I'd like to s-stay with you..."

Her voice faltered, trailing off into silence. Sawa's chest heaved with shallow breaths, her words now hanging heavy in the air.

The quiet that followed stretched far longer than she had hoped, filling the room with an unbearable tension. Sawa's shoulders slumped, retreating inward as if trying to shield herself from the inevitable answer.

Kurumi's lack of an immediate reply felt louder than any rejection. Sawa lowered her gaze to the floor, her fingers twisting nervously in the fabric of the towel draped across her lap. She couldn't bring herself to meet Kurumi's eyes.

Even without a clear decline, the silence said enough—or so Sawa assumed. She'd overstepped and asked for too much.

However...

"Okay~ All done."

"H-Huh?"

The sudden words broke the silence, causing Sawa to instinctively lift her head slightly. Her eyes met her reflection in a small hand mirror.

"How is it, Sawa-chan?"

Kurumi was leaning forward, holding the mirror at just the right angle for Sawa to see.

The once-messy strands of Sawa's hair had been artfully arranged into an elegant, familiar three-braid style that framed her face perfectly.

Sawa blinked, unsure of how to respond. Should she comment on the braid? Now that she thought about it, wasn't this the same hairstyle she'd been puzzled over while in the shower?

Or... should she ask Kurumi's response to what she'd been trying so hard to say earlier?

She simply didn't know.

The edge of Kurumi's lips broke upwards, and with a small tilt of her head, she spoke, breaking through Sawa's inner conflict.

"You seem awfully quiet, Sawa-chan. Cat got your tongue~?"

Sawa flinched, her blush deepening as she stammered, "N-No, I just... um... the braid, it's... it's really beautiful."

"Fufu~ Is that so? I'm glad you like it."

Before Sawa could even fully process the response, Kurumi suddenly released her grip on the mirror, letting it fall. The unexpected action startled Sawa, and she instinctively leaned forward, her hands reaching out as if to catch it.

But she stopped mid-motion, her arms still half-extended.

The reason was simple: The mirror never hit the floor. Instead, a dark, inky substance seemed to emerge from the ground, swallowing the mirror whole before retreating back beneath Kurumi's feet as if nothing had happened.

"But, I can't help but wonder... is that all you've been thinking about, or is there something else on your mind?"

The question struck true, and Sawa hesitated, her posture stiffening slightly as she slowly straightened her body.

"W-Well... a-about what I-I said before... I..."

Kurumi's smug smile widened as she leaned in just a little closer. "Go on. I'm listening."

Sawa remained silent, her lips pressing into a tight line, unable to find the words.

"Ufufufu~ How adorable,"

Kurumi withdrew her hand with a graceful flick of her wrist, stepping out from behind the sofa and into Sawa's view.

Once again, she was dressed in white pajamas instead of her Astral Dress, her left eye hidden behind the long, dark bangs of her silky hair.

"I told you before, didn't I? Dear Sawa-chan~"

With a twist and turn, Kurumi sauntered over to the armrest of the sofa, leaning against it gracefully.

"Consider this place your home, whether you decide to stay under the same roof as me or in a different apartment. I'm the only resident in this building, you know—which, by the way, has 20 floors."

Kurumi let gravity do its work, leaning to one side and flopping onto the sofa with a soft poof, before slowly resting her head on Sawa's shoulder.

The moment Kurumi's head touched her, Sawa flinched slightly, her body stiffening. But after a brief hesitation, she adjusted herself, still unable to muster the courage to make eye contact with Kurumi.

This time, however, her unease stemmed not from discomfort, but from the embarrassment of having nothing to offer in return for Kurumi's kindness.

"Oh~ and about the rent you said you wanted to pay. You don't really need to. If I cared about money, I wouldn't leave the whole building empty... But—"

The moment Kurumi let those words slip, Sawa immediately locked eyes with her. Though her gaze trembled slightly, it was clear she was completely against the idea.

Kurumi sighed, relenting with a playful smirk as she adjusted her offer.

"...Alright, alright. You really want to pay, huh? Fine. Suit yourself. You can give me whatever you want, whenever you want even if it's just 1 yen. If that makes you feel better, go ahead."

"Mm~"

Sawa let out a soft, happy hum, her head swaying slightly from side to side in a subtle gesture of victory.

Catching the expression from the corner of her eye, Kurumi giggled quietly. One of her shadows emerged from below, extending upward to place a TV remote into her waiting hand.

"Well, welcome, my new roommate~"

She aimed the remote toward the TV at the far end of the living room and pressed a button.