Chapter 34: What the hell is with this lady!?

"Welcome to the Magic Wand Specialty Shop Bouncy & Plump Paradise"

…What the hell is going on here?

“Um, Irine? This is the shop you heard about—the one with the ‘skilled wand craftsman’?”

“Yes, this should be the place.”

We were supposed to make a magic wand in preparation for a demon attack. That was our goal today.

But now, here I was—with Sakura and another girl—frozen in front of a shop in the marketplace under a shady neon sign.

---

—Earlier that morning:

“…And that’s the idea.”

I had proposed building an emergency shelter in Yuma’s backyard. I also explained that I wanted Sakura’s help with it.

“Yeah, we’re definitely gonna need that.”

“And the job pays well, too.”

Everyone seemed on board with the idea.

Even Sakura had said enthusiastically, “If it comes down to it, we’ll need a shelter big enough for us, too. I’ll build one.”

But no matter how skilled an earth mage she was, constructing a full shelter would take several days. It wasn’t a short job. So if we were going to do it, we wanted to work efficiently.

So:

“I’ll go get a wand made first and work on the blueprints while we wait.”

“Having a wand will make the work faster anyway.”

“Irine, you have some affinity with earth magic too, right? You’ll help, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

After talking it over with Sakura, we decided to go make the wands first.

That definitely seemed like the most efficient plan.

“Leave the shop to me. I spoke with a doctor before, and he recommended a very skilled craftsman.”

“As expected of you, Irine.”

No need to worry about picking a shop.

Dr. Romero—he’s the guy who taught me all kinds of things about magic—had told us about this place and vouched for its quality.

With high spirits, we gathered our materials and headed out to place the order.

---

“Irine. This really is the place?”

“This should be it… I think?”

But the shop Romero recommended looked, no matter how you tried to see it, like some kind of sleazy adult store.

The sign had a huge, busty anime-style woman drawn on it, making the place look like one of those sketchy parlors I used to work part-time at.

“Should we… go in anyway? Maybe the owner just has terrible taste in signage.”

“Y-Y-Yes, perhaps…”

You sure about this, Doc? You did recommend a skilled craftsman, right?

You didn’t accidentally point us to one of your usual hangouts… right?

A bit uneasy, I hesitantly knocked on the door.

“…Excuse me?”

“Huh? Yeah, come on in.”

A sluggish voice called back. Someone was in, at least.

“Um, we came about a job.”

“Yeah yeah, who’s asking? Got a referral or something?”

When the door opened, the woman who greeted us looked just like the one from the shop sign—gorgeous, and wearing an oversized work uniform.

Her hair was a mess and she was covered in soot, but her chest was practically bursting out of her uniform.

“We don’t take walk-ins, y’know.”

“P-Please, we were referred by Dr. Romero.”

“Ohhh! Right, right, so you’re here for wand work! Gotcha. I mean, it is still daytime, and it’s two girls…”

…That wording. Does she also take jobs other than wand crafting?

Nope. Not going to dig into that.

“Wow, you even brought your own materials. Nice, nice, I like that.”

“So… will you take the job?”

“Of course I will, sweetie. You brought a lot of oak, huh? I’ll even buy any leftover wand-grade material if that’s okay with you.”

“Y-Yes, that’s fine.”

So at least this was the right shop for wand crafting.

Now it was just a matter of whether she could actually make a decent wand.

“Would it be alright if we saw some of the wands you’ve made before?”

“Sure, go ahead. Check the room in the back—right-hand side. It’s full of finished stock.”

“Th-Thank you.”

I’d never used a wand before, and I wasn’t exactly an expert in judging quality, but…

At the very least, I wanted to see what kind of work this woman had done in the past.

“Don’t open the left room, okay? That one’s full of ero—uh, failed experiments.”

“……”

…Right. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

---

“Irine, are you sure about this place?”

“…It was recommended by a rather serious-looking scholar, so I decided to trust it.”

“There are so many suspicious items lying around! Love potions, whips, paper-mâché masks!!”

“Now that you mention it, this is your field of expertise, Sakura.”

As expected, this shop apparently dabbles in... nighttime business as well.

The room we were shown to did, in fact, have a stock of magic staves, but also a wide assortment of adult goods and an absurdly oversized bed—things clearly unrelated to magical equipment.

“...Are you really sure about this place?”

“…”

Please don’t say things that make me more nervous, Sakura. I’m already having second thoughts myself.

Is this really the right shop to place our order with?

“How are the staves in stock?”

“Hmmm. I’d say they’re more solidly built than the one I borrowed from my tutor before.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you say that?”

“They don’t look like they’d break even if I bashed an enemy with them.”

“Please stop treating magic staves like blunt weapons.”

Even if you say that… Look, it’s my first time buying a magic staff. I honestly have no clue what counts as good quality and what doesn’t.

So really, I have no choice but to believe what the professor said about this place having “a skilled artisan.”

“Mm, mm, mmhoooh!? I’m getting fired up, kuhuhuhu~!”

From time to time, moans echo out from the workshop. One has to wonder if any proper staves actually come out of this place.

That woman is actually working in there, right? She’s not just... entertaining herself?

“…This place makes me uneasy.”

“Just trust and wait. You picked the shop, remember?”

I mean… yeah, but still.

---

“Okay, here you go! Big Sis went all out for this one!”

“Huh? You’re done already?”

Not even an hour had passed when the woman emerged from the room, her work apparently finished.

In her hand, she held a glossy staff, gleaming with a polished shine.

“Yup, yup! When it comes to Yowin oak, the method for crafting is pretty standardized. As long as I have the materials, it comes together fast.”

“I-I see. May I try it out?”

“Of course! As long as you aim outside the town, feel free to cast spells. The output’s a lot higher, so control’s trickier. Don’t get discouraged if you mess up, okay?”

At the very least, this craftswoman is quick on the job.

Still, speed doesn’t mean much if the work is sloppy. We’ll need to properly test the staff’s performance.

“I suppose I’ll give it a try too.”

“Go right ahead. But no damaging any houses, got it? Make sure you aim toward the forest.”

She repeated her warning several times—cast spells toward the forest.

When I looked in the direction she pointed, I saw an open field stretching a few hundred meters ahead, with a forest beyond it.

Several craters dotted the area. I guess everyone tests their spells here.

“Alright then, I’ll go first.”

“Alrighty.”

Sakura confirmed the direction, then readied the staff. Looks like she wants to be the first to test it.

“Spirits of the earth, heed my plea. Let the great mountain woods rise!”

“Ooh, earth magic, huh? I like it. Just make sure you fix up any damage before you leave, alright?”

“The shifting ground shall be my shield—Earth Wall Block!”

Let’s see how powerful it is. Back in Lewyn, she could raise a pretty decent column of dirt…

…

“Nothing happened.”

“Oops, botched the control. Wow, this is tough.”

She had cast the incantation loud and clear, but it fizzled out. Looks like the staff really is hard to handle.

“Try easing up. For your first attempt, aim for about half your usual power output.”

“Got it.”

The artisan grinned as she watched Sakura fail.

She totally knew that would happen.

“The shifting ground shall be my shield—”

Sakura took a breath and began the chant again. A faint sheen of sweat glistened on her forehead.

“Earth Wall Block!”

With her firm shout, the earth surged upward—

“Oh my…”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Whew! Not bad!”

What rose before us was a massive wall of earth—nearly the size of a small house.

“Make sure you handle it carefully, okay? Our shop’s staves specialize in boosting spell power. That means they’re harder to control, but I guarantee the results.”

“Amazing… I only meant to make a small wall.”

“Until you get used to that staff, feel free to come here and practice. You can’t exactly be throwing spells around in town, right? Plus, it helps draw in customers.”

The craftswoman let out a snicker and gave Sakura a hearty slap on the back.

Apparently, the staff’s performance really was the real deal. That doctor’s recommendation hadn’t been wrong after all.

“Well then, me! I’m next, I’ll do it too!”

“Alright, go for it. Just make sure to aim toward the forest.”

“Yes, of course!”

I gripped the staff I’d just received and glared at the clearing in front of me.

I recalled the time I fought the demons while wearing the monkey mask. My Spirit Cannon had been powerful—no doubt about that—but the demons had easily endured it.

I’d believed the Spirit Cannon had enough firepower. But it wasn’t enough. I’d need far, far stronger magic if I wanted to keep up on Karl’s journey.

To be honest, I hated magic. Spending all that time chanting just to blow up a wide area? There was nothing romantic or satisfying about it.

But melee combat wasn’t what people expected from me. With human strength alone, there was no way to go toe-to-toe with demons.

If a mage wanted to be useful in war, they had to master magic thoroughly.

“Here I go!”

“Ah, wait a sec, Irine—”

Nothing reached me anymore. My mind was sharpened, becoming one with the staff in my hand.

Alright. I can do this.

“H-Hey, if she fires a Spirit Cannon with a staff this powerful, it's going to be insane, right!? You do understand that, don't you?”

“Wait, that girl can use Spirit Cannon? This'll be my first time actually seeing it.”

“────O spirit of flame, Fujin Enha!”

“Wait, hey!!”

Magic surged wildly through the staff.

From the ground, the sky, the wind, and the sun, spirits peeked out and began to approach.

“This is really bad! If Irine uses magic with that staff…”

“What are you getting so worked up about, miss?”

“It’s a Spirit Cannon! The strongest offensive magic known to mankind! Even without a staff, it creates a crater dozens of meters wide—if she uses it with a staff, it’s going to be a disaster!”

“Wait, seriously? B-But it’s fine. Relax—no one’s ever been able to activate magic on their first try with one of our staffs—”

So the spirits are helping me maintain control. I see… That’s why my magic success rate is so high.

Even when I got the spell wrong, the spirits must’ve quietly fixed the casting for me. Thank you, dear spirits.

“Wait a sec, is she actually… controlling it?”

“She is. Completely.”

The four types of spirits waved at me with beaming smiles. Looks like everything’s in place.

Alright—activation ready.

...Now, time to blow it all away!!

“W-Wait, don’t tell me… this girl’s actually a pretty high-level mage!?”

“Irine, hey—wai────”

.

.

.

Boom.

---

“Let me get this straight. You were testing a new staff with live magic spells, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Did it not occur to you to consider the impact on your surroundings? The thunderous blast echoed through town, sending everything into total chaos.”

“I sincerely apologize.”

—Evening had fallen.

Sakura, the craftswoman, and I were being questioned at the local police guard post.

“I’d never handled a magic staff before, you see.”

“So you didn’t know how to hold back? Hm, well, I suppose that’s understandable, but still…”

“In that case, the craftswoman should’ve been supervising more carefully. You, the staff maker—do you have a license for magic staff production? Did you properly conduct a beginner’s tutorial?”

“Y-Yes! I mean, this happened during the tutorial…”

“An accident during instruction is the responsibility of the supervisor.”

The officer continued lecturing us with the relentless force of hard truths.

From what we were told, when the deafening sound suddenly ripped through the town and a pillar of dust rose from the east, the residents assumed it was an enemy attack and descended into a frenzy.

The panic was made worse by Aldebaran, who had been going around the town for the past few days loudly proclaiming, “The demons are coming!”

People started yelling things like
“It’s really a demon invasion!”
“We can’t stay here any longer!”
and “You’re secretly a demon disguised as a human, aren’t you?!”
Chaos and paranoia spread like wildfire.

.

.

“…Irine.”
“T-Teehee, my bad.”

Even the hero Aldebaran herself rushed over in full gear. It seemed she also thought we were under attack by demons.

When she realized that the earlier explosion had been caused by my magic, she muttered “...Uwah,” and visibly recoiled.

Well, of course she did. Thanks to the spirit cannon I fired, the entire clearing between the workshop and the forest had turned into a massive crater.

“Irine, attack spells don’t need to cover such a wide area. The power gets too spread out, and you risk hitting your allies.”

“Ah, yes.”

“This was your first time firing with a staff, so it can’t be helped. Just try to focus on narrowing the area from now on.”

And thus, I received some valuable advice from the Flame Hero herself.

Hmm. I’ll make sure to remember that.

“I told you, didn’t I?”

“I am terribly sorry, Sakura.”

This time, I really messed up. Duly noted.

Afterward, we got chewed out by the guards for hours and had to write up a report that felt more like a written apology.

---

“…That took quite a while. Guess we’ll have to start work tomorrow.”

“Yes, it seems so.”

We were finally released from questioning and returned to Yuri’s house. The sky had turned a deep orange, and the surroundings were beginning to darken.

At this level of darkness, doing any construction would be dangerous. We’d have to postpone building the shelter until tomorrow.

“Still, just getting our hands on the magic staff today is a win.”

“Bringing in our own materials really cuts down the price, doesn’t it?”

The plan had gone slightly off track, but we accomplished the day’s top priority.

Now I could fire off magic with several times the power I had before—far more effective than I had imagined.

“I’ll need to practice magic control, too.”

“We could always visit that craftsman again and ask to train there.”

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”

Next time, I’ll be sure to hold back the firepower. If I don’t dial it down, I won’t be able to use it in actual combat.

“I wonder how Maika and Karl are doing.”

“Knowing Maika and her group, I bet they’ll bring back some decent intel.”

“Well, we’ll know soon enough.”

And just like that, we finally opened the gate to Yuri’s estate—

---

“Oh my, oh my~ Just dropping by for a visit~”

Stepping through the entrance, we were greeted by a smiling woman neither of us recognized.

“Uh… hello?”

“…And you are?”

The woman stood in the middle of the entryway, wearing nothing but a single white cloth draped over her. With her large chest and gentle smile, she stood there completely at ease.

Technically, she was covering all the important parts for a woman, but honestly, with just a scrap of cloth over a naked body, she looked like a complete exhibitionist.

“This is our first meeting, isn’t it~? Pleased to meet you~”

“H-Hello. I’m Irine von Welmund.”

“I’m Sakura. If you’re going to greet us, shouldn’t you give your name first?”

“Oh my, how terribly rude of me~”

She could’ve been some kind of pervert who snuck into Yuuri’s house, but since she greeted us politely, we returned the courtesy.

Sakura still looked suspicious, but I didn’t sense any real malice from the woman.

Well… to be honest, I just thought she was weird.

"I am the Goddess of Wisdom—creator of gods and demons, and the oldest of the ‘Living Deities.’ My name is Goddess Sefa~"

——

…Huh?

“Fweh?”

“Kukuku. You doubt me, don’t you~?”

A ridiculous sound escaped my lips before I could stop it. A goddess? Did she just say she’s a goddess?

That woman smiled like a holy mother, her soft golden hair floating gently around her as if caught in an invisible breeze.

“But you, the spirit user over there—you must be able to feel it, can’t you?”

She pointed at me confidently and declared:

“That I… am the real deal.”

——The woman called herself a goddess.

With eyes that seemed to see straight through everything, she stared at us and smiled.

——

“Um, no, I don’t really feel anything at all…”

“Ehh~? Really~?”

Yeah, no. I wasn’t feeling anything divine or whatever.

What is with this weird old lady!?