Chapter 43: An Ordinary, Unremarkable Man Like Any Other

"...Found 'em!! It's them!"

The night had passed since the decisive battle in Yowin.

After reporting to Prince Garius, we returned to Yuri’s house and held a small celebration.

There was much to rejoice over—Yuri’s grandfather’s achievements being recognized, and the fact that we had survived a seemingly hopeless crisis.

"Only a madman would still put on a performance in a situation like that."

"What are you talking about? It was the only thing I could do!"

"That’s not something to boast about."

Yuri and her father, their faces slightly flushed from alcohol, grumbled at each other. When drunk, Yuri apparently turned argumentative, launching into a long-winded lecture at her father.

"Mai…ka… Lev… mumble mumble…"

"There, there."

As usual, Karl was a lightweight, and after showering Maika and Lev with praise, he passed out. Now, the very two he had praised so lavishly were gently tending to him.

"Welcome back, milady. It’s a relief to see you unharmed."

"Indeed. I must really be blessed with devilish luck."

Sakura, who clearly knew how to hold her liquor, clinked glasses with the master in a mature, composed manner.

Truly the Queen of the Night—handling alcohol was second nature to her.

"What shall we do tomorrow? Our travel preparations are in order, so we could depart immediately if needed."

"Hmm… Thanks to Lord Garius’s generosity, we’re not short on funds. Maybe we should buy some better weapons?"

"I agree~! Yowin is a city where nobles and high-end goods gather—you won’t find many places with craftsmanship of this caliber."

As we discussed our plans for the next day, Maika brought up wanting to buy a new weapon.

Sakura and I had already gotten new staves, but Maika’s bow was still the same. With our financial situation secure, of course she’d want better equipment.

Perhaps sensing this, Sakura didn’t object.

"I… also want to buy a sword…"

"Oh? Lev, you wield a sword as well?"

"I learned from my father, but I’ve never actually used one in battle… Still, having a blade would be an advantage in close combat. I’ll train under Karl and master it."

Lev-chan expressed her desire for a sword.

Yeah, yeah, I get it, Lev-chan. Swords have a certain romance to them, don’t they?

Plus, it’d give her some alone time with her beloved Karl.

"I never brought it up before because we couldn’t afford to splurge, but…"

"I’m sure you’ll handle it well, Lev. I approve."

"That’s right. Do your best, Lev."

With Maika’s permission granted, Lev-chan whispered a happy "Yes!"

Good, good. This girl’s just too adorable.

"So tomorrow, we’ll stroll around town and go shopping."

"Then let’s depart the day after. As for our next destination, we’ll have Karl confirm it with the Goddess."

"Hmm… but that Goddess doesn’t seem all that reliable."

And so, we decided to stay in Yowin for one more day, taking the time to leisurely explore the city.

Or at least, that was the plan—

---

"It's her! That big-breasted young lady-type woman!"

"We found them! The real spirit mage!"

"The dawn of a new hero legend!"

As we stepped into the city, murmurs rippled through the crowd.

Apparently, rumors about us had spread like wildfire.

"Is it true you can hear the voices of spirits?!"

"That enormous magical barrier—what was that?! Could you write a thesis on its spell formula?!"

Yesterday’s colossal magical artillery had become common knowledge among the townsfolk. Many had already steeled themselves for death.

Yet, the city was saved. Those who came to investigate who had blocked that attack claimed to have seen "the guy who activated Muscle Heaven"—aka, me.

And then, after Garius’s announcement that "the Hero and the Spirit Mage repelled the demon army," all hell broke loose.

"The Hero… did you say the Hero?!"

"Don’t tell me… we’re witnessing the birth of a new legend with our own eyes?!"

Garius, it seemed, intended to use this city—steeped in Hero lore—as a research hub for countering the Demon King’s forces. Hence, he deliberately avoided suppressing the information and let the truth spread.

But once rumors like this take root…

"Young lady, might I pluck just one strand of your hair?! Think of the research breakthroughs it could bring! I beg you, this is my life’s work!!"

"Blood! I need the blood of a spirit mage!! Don’t worry, it’ll only hurt for a second! I’ll heal you perfectly with magic, I swear!!"

I’d apparently been branded the perfect lab rat for this city’s residents.

Every researcher on the street locked eyes on me, their gazes feverish.

"Karl! H-Help me, please!!"

"Hey, back off! Don’t you dare lay a finger on Irine! You’ll have to go through me!"

"It’s the Hero!! The ultimate research specimen!"

"Scientific progress demands sacrifice, DESU! Let’s boil this Hero alive and extract his components, SHOWTIME!"

"What the hell is wrong with these people?!"

The researchers stared at Karl like predators, their breathing ragged.

What the hell was going through their heads? Boiling the Hero alive now, of all times? What good would that do against the Demon King?

"These people… they’re dead serious, aren’t they? Should we just run?"

"I agree! Frankly, they’re terrifying!"

"Hmm… Yuri, it turns out you were actually a very sane researcher, weren’t you?"

"Yeah…"

A tidal wave of mad scientists surged toward us.

We couldn’t just knock out innocent townsfolk. But if this kept up, it’d be a matter of life and death.

"We’ll hold them off! You two, run for it!"

"Heh, roger that, ladies."

"…That way. Fewer people."

"Sorry, we owe you one!"

With our comrades buying us time, Karl and I bolted, desperate to escape the lunatics hot on our heels.

---

Several minutes later, in a back alley…

"Hah… hah… How far are they gonna chase us?"

Crouched inside a tiny wooden crate on Karl’s orders, I barely managed to evade the researchers’ prying eyes.

"Irine, stay hidden here. I’ll lure them away. If it’s just me, I can shake them off if things get dicey."

"Karl… thank you."

Peeking out from the crate, I surveyed the area.

Most of the researchers had taken the bait and followed Karl. But a few still lingered, scouring the alley for any trace of me.

How long would I have to hide here? Was I stuck until nightfall?

"Dammit, we lost her. All I wanted was to study her muscle fibers…"

"Would it kill you to contribute a little to scientific progress, DESU ka?"

"Cough… cough… I wonder if she’s resistant to poison gas… Cough…"

Their horrifying chatter sent chills down my spine. These people had clearly lost their minds.

Maybe the shock of encountering the real "Hero"—the subject of their lifelong research—had shattered their last shreds of sanity.

"So stingy, refusing to share a few organs…"
"Let’s make a live specimen, DESU."

Like hell I’d let them take my organs. No matter what, I had to make it back to Yuri’s place alive.

…

Wait a second.

---

"……Whoa—?!"

"Hey, what’s wro—… holy shit?!"

That’s right. That’s right.

Now that I think about it… I’ve got this, don’t I?

"S-suspicious! There’s a real suspicious person here! We should report them!"

"No, wait—if we do that, we’ll lose track of the Hero!"

"Right, right! The priority is our research, not the city’s public order!"

I strode through the streets with confidence.

Acting furtively would just draw suspicion. In situations like this, the bolder you are, the less people question you.

"Huh? What’s with that guy… Let’s not make eye contact."

"One of those rabbit weirdos from the other day? Better not get involved."

Good thing I carried this mask with me. Gotta stay fashion-ready at all times.

I’d left my armor back at the manor, but cramming myself into an empty crate worked as a substitute.

Behold: the budget version of Monkey Mask. Even with my limbs sticking out of a wooden box instead of armor, it’s got a punk-rock vibe. Nice.

"Probably some poor, troubled soul. Let’s leave them be."

"Ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Be kind."

Alright, time to head back to Yuri’s place.

It’s almost laughable how I didn’t realize sooner that a simple mask was all I needed to hide my identity.

Now I just have to make sure the others don’t see me like this. If I can manage that, there’s nothing else to worry abou—

---

"Excuse me, Mr. Monkey Mask. Mind answering a few questions?"

"Uh… oogah?"

Oh. Oh no.

City guards.

---

"Goddammit, that was close…"

Shaking off the researchers was one thing, but now I’ve got the guards on my tail.

Why does this shit always happen to me?!

"This is… the outskirts? I ran all the way out here?"

In my panic, I’d managed to lose the guards—but now I was way too far from Yuri’s manor.

How the hell was I supposed to get back?

"Hmm… Guess I’ll have to slip back under cover of darkness."

At this point, safety first.

I’d lay low here until nightfall, then sneak back. That was the smartest play.

All I had to do was stay hidden in this crate and—

---

"Phew… What a damn mess… Huh?"

"…Mph?"

Plopping down to catch my breath, I heard a familiar grumble nearby.

Against my better judgment, I turned—and froze.

"Hey, it’s Monkey Mask."

"…Guh. Karl."

"The hell’s ‘guh’ supposed to mean?"

Of all the people to run into… it had to be the damn party leader.

---

"Long time no see, Monkey. What are you doing in this town?"

"Hm? Ah, well... just some errands."

Oh crap. What do I do now?

Apparently, Karl, like me, had fled from the researchers and ended up here. We’d both headed toward the less populated areas and somehow wound up in the same place.

"Still, Monkey, your outfit’s even more eccentric than before. Why are you sticking your arms and legs out of a wooden box?"

"What do you think? Stylish, right?"

"Same as always, huh? That’s a relief."

Seeing my fabulous appearance, Karl gave me a vague smile.

What’s with that awkward look? Guess this guy just doesn’t get my fashion sense.

"...Hey, Monkey. Actually, I’ve been looking for you. Glad I ran into you."

"What? What do you want with me?"

"Well, a lot of things. Last time, I never got to thank you properly."

Huh? Thank me?

Did I, as Monkey Mask, do something worth Karl thanking me for?

"Sakura... she joined my crew."

"Ah, the young lady? She doing alright?"

"Yeah, she’s fine. And... I heard about how you fought those demons."

As he said that, Karl suddenly thrust his fist straight toward me.

"If you hadn’t bought us time back then, I’d have been devoured by those demons and died. Thanks, Monkey."

"...Tch, I was just swatting away the sparks before they burned me. Besides, you’re the one who drove off that horde of demons, Karl. You’ve got no business thanking me."

"Just take it."

Karl stared straight at me, refusing to look away.

Ugh, this guy’s stubborn. I caved and bumped my fist against his.

"Alright, alright. Happy now?"

"Yeah."

With that, Karl grinned.

Man, what a simple guy.

"...Hey, Monkey. The thing I wanted to talk to you about isn’t just this."

"There’s more?"

"...Might be a little rude of me to ask, but there’s something I gotta confirm."

His expression turned serious as he spoke.

"Your hands... they’re pretty clean."

"Hah?"

Still holding my fist from our fist bump, Karl gripped it and lifted it up.

"Hey, Monkey. You said your voice is high because you’re a dwarf, right?"

"Y-Yeah, so what?"

"...Even for a dwarf, your voice is weirdly high. And your hands... they’re way too clean."

Karl stared intently at my hand, his eyes dead serious.

Wha—what’s his deal? What’s he trying to—

"Could it be... Monkey Mask, are you a woman?"

"......"

...

"D-Don’t be stupid. No way."

"The Monkey Mask I know would flip if someone called him a woman. He wouldn’t try to cover it up with some strained voice like this."

"Wha—you, what are you—"

What the hell is this guy? Is he really Karl?! The Karl I know is way dumber and more useless than this!

No way, why’s he so sharp today of all days?! Is he seriously trying to figure out my true identity?!

"...So it is true, Monkey Mask. That tough-guy act... it’s all part of the performance, huh?"

"N-No! That’s not—"

"You don’t have to keep pretending."

Oh crap oh crap oh crap—I totally let my guard down! I thought for sure this guy would never figure me out!

W-What do I do?! How do I talk my way out of this?! I’m Irine, the noble daughter of House Wermund—if the world finds out I was working in a brothel, the disgrace would—

"Relax, I’m not digging any deeper. I trust you, so you don’t need to keep lying."

"......"

"But there’s something I want to give you. Just... take it quietly."

...Huh?

Wait, does he actually know?

Is Karl pretending not to notice to spare my dignity, but he’s actually figured out I’m Irine?!

If that’s the case, what do I do? Karl’s trustworthy, so if he’ll keep quiet, maybe I should just leave it at that? Or should I come clean right now, spill everything, and beg him on my knees to keep it a secret?!

What should I—

"This... it’s yours, right?"

Karl handed me a pair of women's underwear.

Black lace, with delicate pink ribbons—completely sheer.

"......"

"There aren't many mages who can destroy a cannon that massive. Monkey, it was you who helped out this time too, wasn't it?"

"......"

The panties had a smooth silk texture. And they carried a faint, pleasant scent.

WHAP!

"Ow?!"

For the time being, I flung them right back into Karl's face.

Hell no, I don’t want that.

"Huh? Monkey Mask, what’s wro—"

"That’s not mine."

"What do you mean, not yours?"

"I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything! Are you stupid?!"

Ohhh, so that’s the misunderstanding here!

This idiot thought I was the one who wrecked that massive cannon. And since a pair of women’s underwear was left behind, he jumped to the conclusion that I must be a woman.

"Those aren’t mine either. I don’t want 'em. And why the hell are you even carrying those around?"

"Didn’t know when I’d run into you again. Wanted to return them if I did."

"Sorry, but you’re way off. Those belong to someone else entirely."

I snorted and shut down Karl’s delusions with a huff.

Seriously, what’s going through this guy’s head?

"...So you’re fine with me holding onto these, then?"

"I just told you—they’re not mine."

"Got it."

Karl nodded, then—with a weirdly knowing look—tucked the panties back into his coat.

You’re still misunderstanding something, aren’t you?!

"Well, let’s just leave it at that. Anyway, Monkey Mask—"

"What now?"

"I’ve been stuck away from town for a while. Bought some travel booze—wanna share a drink?"

With that, Karl pulled out a bottle and a small vial.

Hold on, you lightweight. You sure you should be carrying that around?

"...Hmph. Don’t expect me to drag your drunk ass home."

"Relax, Sakura made me a sober-up potion. If I start fading, just shove this in my mouth."

"Handy thing to have."

Karl fished out a strangely marked vial from his coat. On closer look, it bore the Sakura family crest.

...Sakura gave him something this good, huh?

Well, I guess Karl would need it.

"I've been wanting to share a drink with you again."

"...Well, I was free. Guess I'll humor you for a bit."

I took the small vial Karl handed me and watched as he cracked open the bottle of liquor he’d bought for himself.

The alcohol was disgustingly weak—more like a sweet, fruity juice than actual booze.

"Huh. Goes down easy."

"That’s the point. Won’t get me too wasted."

Ah, so he actually put some thought into this.

Seems like he got tired of blacking out every time and finally picked something he could handle.

"Hey, listen up, Monkey Mask. Got a story about one of my crew."

"Yeah, yeah."

And so began the Tales of Karl’s Comrades. If he was gonna monologue on his own, I wouldn’t have to worry about slipping up. I’d just play the listener.

────By the end of the day, we’d kept drinking well into the night.

"Sakura’s got this dangerous aura sometimes, y’know? But when it comes to sheer sex appeal, Irine’s the real deal!!"

"Pfft—HAHAHAHA!!"

Karl, the ever-earnest young man, seemed genuinely happy to indulge in some crude guy talk for once.

His party was mostly women, and the only other guy was Master—a man twice his age.

Maybe Karl had just been starved for some bro time.

"Lately, Lev’s been acting all rebellious. Try to pat her head, and she just hmph! and walks off."

"She’s just embarrassed."

"But Maika’s always patting her head just fine."

"At this point, those two are practically sisters, aren’t they?"

Talking like this, one-on-one… the man chosen by the Goddess to lead us all was—

"Demons are terrifying, man. Sometimes I think, why the hell do we have to fight these monsters?"

"...You got handed insane power, and that’s what you say?"

"Scary shit’s scary. Got a problem with that, asshole?"

────Just an ordinary guy. Almost refreshingly so.

"But more than anything else..."

And this ordinary guy, Karl...

"I’m always scared. What if I can’t protect them?"

"Hm."

"What if I screw up? How many people will die because of me? Just thinking about it drives me insane."

────Was carrying a burden no normal person should ever have to bear.

"This time too, if it weren’t for Aldebaran and Irine, everyone would’ve died. On my own, I’m useless."

"Hey, Karl. Why the hell do you have so little faith in yourself?"

"It’s not about faith. It’s the truth."

He rolled the now-empty bottle across the ground.

Cheeks slightly flushed, Karl hung his head in silence.

"...Why me?"

The whisper slipped out like a drop of water, dissolving into the earth.

But no voice answered him.