Chapter 30: Sorting Out My Feelings

Kazuya’s birthday party lasted until midnight, finally ending only after we were kicked out of the dining hall.

I’d paid a little extra in advance, so there shouldn’t be any issues there. The remaining issue is this guy—completely passed out drunk.

I don’t get drunk no matter how much I drink, thanks to my poison immunity. Kazuya doesn’t have that luxury. I could use a detox spell to remove the alcohol, but his mind and body are already too far gone. He wouldn’t be able to move properly for a while anyway.

With no other choice, I cast a body enhancement spell on myself and hoisted Kazuya onto my back to carry him back to the inn.

I prayed silently, “Just don’t throw up on me, please,” as I lit a magic light and began slowly walking down the pitch-dark road.

---

It was the dead of winter, but thanks to my gear, the cold wasn’t too bad. Still, my breath came out white, the air was dry and still—it definitely felt like a winter night.

And my back was warm.

Kazuya looked like he was really comfortable, even murmuring something in his sleep. I couldn’t make out most of it, but I did catch the word Miki now and then.

So even in his dreams, he’s with me? …Seriously, I’m really loved, huh?

But still… we kissed. I actually kissed him.

Even though we’re now man and woman… in our past lives, we were both men. Best friends.

Now that I think about it, I’ve lived as an elf woman in this world for 400 years. Until I met Kazuya again, I’d completely forgotten about my previous life. It all felt so far away, like some distant tale with no real connection to now.

But for Kazuya, it’s different. Only 18 years have passed since then. He knows I was a man in my past life. And yet, he fell in love with me as a woman. He even confessed. Honestly… he’s something else.

He called me his best friend. And I feel the same. Kazuya is my best friend—that hasn’t changed.

But on top of that, he showed me—through his actions, not just words—that he loves me as the opposite sex.

And… he awakened the part of me that’s capable of romantic feelings, even though elves like me don’t naturally feel that strongly in love.

…So it’s not just him. I’m doing the same. Even with our past life as the foundation, I’m seeing Kazuya now as a man—as the opposite sex.

As memories of our past life slowly returned to me, I carried the nearly-unconscious, thoroughly drunk Kazuya on my back, reminiscing out loud, telling him, “Remember that time? And then this happened…” as we made our way back to the inn.

---

The next morning, I woke up.

Back when I first started traveling with Kazuya, I’d sleep until noon if no one woke me up. But now, my body naturally wakes up in the morning.

I sat up and glanced at the bed beside me. Kazuya was still asleep.

Well, considering how much he drank, it’s no surprise. We don’t have anywhere we need to rush off to, so he can sleep in.

Leaving him to rest, I got changed, had breakfast, and returned to the room to find Kazuya awake, sitting up in bed, holding his head.

“Ah… Miki, morning… Sorry, but I’m out of commission for a while.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re not in a rush.”

I replied simply, set a glass of water on the table, and left the room.

First stop: the dining hall where we held the birthday party. I went to thank them.

They responded warmly—probably because I’d paid them handsomely—and even offered to handle the cleanup.

At the Adventurers’ Guild, I was greeted by adventurers who had joined the party yesterday. I hadn’t known their names or faces before that night, but in just a few hours, it seemed Kazuya and I had made a lasting impression.

When asked how Kazuya was doing, I replied that he’d passed out drunk. That led to some chatter—“So even the hero can’t handle his booze, huh?”

Unlike in Torque Village or the royal capital, no one in the guild here was making any kind of move on me. After what they saw last night, the people who’d been at the party clearly saw me as “Kazuya’s woman.”

No one in their right mind would try anything with the hero’s girl. Sure, I got some stares, but it was a relief that no one dared to cross that line.

At the guild’s reception desk, I told them we’d be leaving the village for the city of Spilling sometime tomorrow. They asked me to have Hero Kazuya stop by before we left.

Come to think of it, we still haven’t received our S-Rank certification.

Also, the guild thanked us for yesterday’s party—it ended up being a great bonding opportunity for the local adventurers.

I promised to bring Kazuya later and left the guild.

On the way back to the inn, I stopped by a food shop, picked up a few local specialties that caught my eye, and tossed them into my magic bag.

We’ve already got plenty of food stored up, but I like to collect local flavors when I can.

With that done, I returned to the inn just before noon.

---

When I returned to the room, Kazuya had changed clothes and was lying on the bed, staring off blankly.

At the very least, he seemed to be back to functioning well enough to move around.

I told him about what had happened at the Adventurer’s Guild, that we’d be leaving tomorrow, and that we’d need to stop by the guild before departing.

When I suggested we go out for lunch, Kazuya stood up and, like always, came over seeking a hug.

Can’t be helped, I thought, and stepped into his arms. As I hugged him, Kazuya wrapped his arms around my back and held me tight.

As we held each other, the events of last night flooded vividly into my mind—along with Kazuya’s body heat, his breath, and the pounding in my chest that I could no longer tell was mine or his. My heart thundered so loudly it was as if it were trying to escape.

This... might be bad.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, Kazuya pulled back slightly and gently took hold of my chin.

I understood immediately.

He was going to kiss me.

Even though I told him yesterday was a one-time thing. Honestly...

But... no. I can’t let this happen.

That was supposed to be a special moment just for his birthday. Don’t get carried away.

Besides… once we cross that line, there may be no turning back.

“No.”

It had been a while since I’d said that word—a word of rejection.

Kazuya looked startled, like he genuinely hadn’t expected to be refused. He froze, his hand still resting on my chin.

I stepped away from him and straightened my clothes.

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

I turned my back on Kazuya, who was clearly deflated now.

“...Okay.”

Kazuya answered dejectedly, his voice weak and downcast.

And as for me now—

My cheeks were so flushed, I felt like my face was going to catch fire.

Honestly, I had almost gone along with it. I stopped just short of giving in.

That confident thinking just now? That was all just bluster—to keep my own feelings in check.

If I let things go any further, I’m certain something inside me would switch on.

No… even now, I feel like I’m right on the edge. If Kazuya were to hug me again, if he were to ask again, I don’t think I could say no.

Thinking back on the memories I shared with Kazuya while carrying him last night had been a mistake. It had only deepened my feelings for him.

If that switch flips, I know I’ll start wanting more from Kazuya. And that can’t happen.

Because it might shake his resolve.

He might end up thinking something like, “Eh, even if I don’t defeat the Demon King, it’s fine.”

Maybe back when we were still in Cylindarl, and he was only a B-Rank, that might’ve been acceptable.

But now, it’s different. He’s an S-Rank Hero, bearing the hopes of everyone, standing against a powerful Demon King.

Zack and the whole guild have supported us too.

We’ve come this far. To say “never mind” now would be betraying everyone’s expectations—and that’s not okay.

And Kazuya himself has a goal: to defeat the Demon King and then confess to me.

From my side, I don’t even need a confession anymore—though I do want a proper moment for it.

Still, it’s that goal that’s been driving him forward.

If that goal is prematurely realized—or if he realizes it’s already mutual—his motivation could falter.

That’s why we can’t rush this. Jumping ahead carelessly won’t lead to anything good.

Besides, we’re not even officially dating, so kissing shouldn’t be treated so lightly.

I took a deep breath to calm myself, then descended the stairs.

Outside the inn, I turned to Kazuya.

And I acted like absolutely nothing had happened.

“Feel like something light today?”

---

After that, Kazuya acted like he usually did, and I kept my composure too.

We walked around the village and stopped by the guild.

At the guild, the receptionist called Kazuya over.

He met with the guildmaster, received the news of his promotion to S-Rank, and was given the official emblem.

The announcement was made publicly in the guild.

Though, to be fair, half the adventurers already heard about it at last night’s party.

We left the guild, spent some time wandering aimlessly, and before long, the night passed, and morning came.

Instead of the usual morning hug—or a kiss—he softly nibbled on my ear.

But that wasn’t enough for him. He buried his face in my neck.

“Is it okay if I kiss your neck?”

He asked me.

I thought about it. Hmm... well... maybe... if it’s just that...

“If you don’t leave a mark.”

I gave permission with that condition.

—Only later did I realize that just that wasn’t going to be the end of it. And I shouldn’t have allowed it.

When Kazuya asks, I’m weak. Just a little push, and I give in with a “well, fine.”

It’s like my barrier spell—Kazuya alone can easily get through. He really is special to me.

He kissed my neck with little smooch sounds, even licked a bit.

It tickled, and a small sound escaped me.

“Your voice is so cute.”

You didn’t have to say it!

I glared at Kazuya’s neck, the one so engrossed with mine.

Lick

“Hyah!?”

“See? You made a cute sound too, Kazuya.”

“You licked me out of nowhere! Of course I’d be surprised!”

“That’s my line. Okay, okay, we’re done here.”

I peeled him off me, despite his protests.

Honestly, licking like that…

But still... damn it... being wanted like that doesn’t feel bad.

And the sensation Kazuya left on my tongue—makes me want to taste more. Just like he did.

—How long am I going to be able to hold out?

I really wish he’d hurry up and defeat the Demon King already.