Chapter 47: Disappointment (4)

“Uncle, why didn’t you punish Azula?” Prince Zuko asked irritably when they had entered his cabin, where there were no outsiders. “She nearly killed us.”

Iroh gave his nephew a displeased look. He wanted to shout at him, but he managed to restrain himself. The elderly man sat down and, sighing heavily, began to massage the bridge of his nose, remarking that Zuko would gain sense someday… A minute later, he was calm enough to explain everything. Iroh was surprised that his nephew had waited patiently the whole time. Usually, he would have simply spun around and left.

“There are several reasons for this, Zuko. First, you disobeyed me yet again and, yourself… You were the one who attacked your own sister first. It didn't look like you were ready to hold back and avoid inflicting serious injury on her.”

“I would have been able to stop,” Zuko muttered.

“And that’s why you charged Azula’s detachment on rhino-cavalry? She could have been killed! I understand that the relationship between you two is far from ideal, but Azula is still your blood sister,” Iroh tried to shame his nephew, but unfortunately, he saw no sign of remorse on his face. With another heavy sigh, the retired General continued. “Second, royal family disputes are royal family disputes. No outsiders should have witnessed the settling of your differences. It could shake the faith of the common people in us: you, me, and Azula. To them, we must appear more… exalted. Your situation with your father was different. The Agni Kai was not against Ozai, but against the Fire Lord himself, whom you had inadvertently insulted.”

“Exalted? Is that why you spend all day sipping tea and playing your Pai Sho with the ship's crew? Pfft! I see nothing exalted in your actions.”

“A person as old as your uncle is allowed some small liberties.” Iroh smiled. “You’ll understand me when you get old, Zuko.” A second later, Iroh became serious again. The abrupt shift made the prince slightly nervous. “Third, I very much doubt that Long would have permitted Azula to be punished in any way. It was clear that he was ready to defend her.”

“That boy who was standing behind my sister and whom you nearly hit with lightning?” Zuko skeptically raised an eyebrow. “Would a simple soldier have somehow impeded you? Don't make me laugh, Uncle! Who are you, and who is he? You should have come up with a more convincing excuse.”

“Long is a very dedicated fighter… He was in Lu Ten’s unit for a long time and saved his life on several occasions.”

“But ultimately…” Zuko tried to interject, but was instantly cut off by the retired General.

“Fool!” Iroh slammed his fist on the metal table. Cups and a small teapot jumped. “Don’t talk nonsense! You have no idea how many times Lu Ten was saved by Long! And for that, I am eternally grateful to him. But it's not only about saving my son… As I said, Long is a very dedicated fighter. He will complete a task, no matter the cost to him. An acquaintance with whom I used to play Pai Sho told me about Long’s success in Firebending. Three years ago, he could already be considered a master. It is unknown what he has learned in that time.”

“I think I could still defeat a simple soldier even without your help,” Zuko replied, sulking even more. His arms were crossed over his chest. In his eyes, one could easily read his dissatisfaction with his uncle. He believed the retired General had shown weakness. Had simply chickened out.

“Zuko…” Iroh sighed, covering his face with his palm. “When will you start paying attention to what is happening around you during a battle? The wall of fire that I could not break through by force was created by Long… Do you still consider him just an ordinary soldier?”

…

At the same time, the Avatar, flying on his Sky Bison toward the Earth Kingdom, was thinking about how powerful and… rather frightening the Firebenders he met on Kyoshi Island were. The Fire Nation Princess could have killed him with a single bolt of lightning. He knew that somehow. But in truth, it wasn't her who frightened the young Avatar the most. Next to the princess, when Aang dove into the water, there was another person. From just one look, his heart painfully contracted, and beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. Remembering that this man was the one who had held Katara earlier, Aang felt the urge to hurt someone very badly for the first time in his life… And something within him responded to that feeling. For the man was not simple. He violated the balance. Therefore, he had to be eliminated.

“How are Suki and the other Kyoshi Warriors?” Sokka asked, worriedly distracting Aang for the umpteenth time.

…

The first thing Azula did when she had rested enough to be able to sit up on the bed was ask me, “Why did we retreat, Long?” Her voice was still tired, and she looked sluggish. It was the first time I had seen the princess like this. It means that if you expend too much chi, you can suffer these consequences. Or is it the result of having fired so many lightning bolts? After all, generating lightning puts a great strain on any bender, no matter how great a Firebending master they are or how impressive their reserves of chi.

I myself have experienced exhaustion a couple of times, of course. But I’d never been in a state where I couldn’t stand on my own two feet. My first instructors, Lu Ten, the records in the Fire Lord’s palace, Jeong Jeong, and even Princess Azula herself warned me to avoid such a state. Chi isn't just some energy… It is life itself. It is the vital energy of our bodies. A Firebender who spends all of it can die.

In my opinion, Azula had crossed a very fine line. This became quite clear from her subsequent behavior, as she did not use Firebending for several days in a row. All those days, the princess rested, as if replenishing her spent reserves of strength.

“The numerical advantage was on your uncle's side. You were in no condition to fight. And honestly, I wasn't far behind you at that moment. I had exerted a great deal of effort creating the ring of fire and then attempting to catch up with you to help capture the Avatar.”

“Why did you stop maintaining your technique? I was so close to catching the Avatar,” a reproach was audible in Azula's voice. It was languid enough that it was probably voiced out of habit.

“I was attacked several times. I could still fend off the opponents for a while, but soon after, it became difficult to maintain the ring of fire and block the blows.”

Azula cast a worried glance at me and quickly scanned my whole figure. To fully dispel her suspicions, she decided to ask directly:

“You weren't harmed?”

“No, in the end, I managed to fight them off.”

Stupid girl, please display the arrogance inherent to any member of the royal family, and worry about yourself. There is no need to pay attention to me and worry about my fate, for I am immortal, and you are not.

“Good,” Azula exhaled in relief, which again caused something within me to twitch painfully. “Where are we headed? Have you figured out where the Avatar might appear next?”

“To the nearest prison. The cells in the ship's hold are overcrowded with Kyoshi Warriors. It seemed to me that we shouldn't just let them go. Let them serve in the Fire Nation mines since they are so strong.” I paused for a second. “The Avatar… I believe he headed toward Omashu. I gave the order on your behalf to all ships and small teams that might cross his path: first, report the Avatar’s appearance to you, and then attempt to capture him.”

Apparently, Azula had no objection to me giving orders on her behalf. This might be useful in the future… After listening to me, she nodded and lay back down on her bed, beckoning me over with her finger.

“Princess, the serving girls could enter your cabin at any moment, and the soldiers on the ship will certainly notice my absence,” I tried to caution her, since it was Azula herself who had insisted on maintaining a distance between us.

“I don't care. Not long ago, I nearly died in the most mundane way, drowning in the water. Life is very short, Long. And I no longer want to waste even the slightest moment worrying about the opinions of some servants or soldiers.”

“But the Fire Lord…”

Azula interrupted me, raising her voice and speaking slightly irritably.

“Long, be quiet and just lie down next to me!”

I did lie down on the same couch as Azula. She immediately moved closer and nestled into my shoulder, then hugged me.

“I wanted to discuss the Avatar with you…”

“Long, what is unclear about the word be quiet? Let me enjoy the moment…”

“Stupid girl,” I couldn't help but mutter under my breath.

“Did you say something else?”

“You misheard, Princess,” I replied, embracing her in return.

****

“The Avatar…” My voice trembled with anger. The clothes on my body slowly began to smolder. The same process soon affected every piece of fabric in my cabin. The candles had burned out in the first second of the fit of rage.

I had left the princess with a ringing headache. The conversation about the Master of the Elements did, after all, take place a little later. I managed to learn a great deal about the Avatar. And I experienced disappointment.

It turns out that the common perception that the Avatar remembers his past lives is not entirely accurate. This is an old misconception that has taken root among the common people, from which I myself came. But still, I alone am to blame for my delusions. I should have double-checked the rumors when I had the chance and spoken with Azula sooner.

The truth is that each Avatar is a new personality, a completely different person. You can't say that he remembers nothing from his past lives, but these memories are so insignificant, like the name of his past incarnation or a favorite toy, that they made me laugh.

The Avatar's personalities are literally separate. A new personality is created after each life. The Master of All Elements, according to Azula, can even consult these personalities, his past incarnations, for advice, but it’s still not the same as remembering all your lives completely!

Either the Avatar has a very clever mental defense so that he doesn't suffer as I do, or we have completely different systems of reincarnation… Again, the Avatar's memory is too selective. He remembers trivialities that would mean nothing to me. Although… the Avatar learns bending more easily with each new rebirth. Yes, it turns out he must learn everything anew during each new life, which is why he only used Airbending on Kyoshi Island. If the latter is true, then he is no kindred spirit to me. A lucky bastard who cannot understand me.

If the creation of new personalities was somehow established by him… then I should ask him to help me. If such a thing is possible, I wish that with every new life, I could have a clean personality that hasn't known all my suffering, losses, and worries… But I have strong doubts that the Avatar truly set up such a defense himself.

Noticing that the cabin walls were already crimson, I hastily calmed down and brought my bending under control.