Chapter 12: Swim

BANG!

 

As someone barged into his room, Caellum's eyes snapped open to see Toenail glaring angrily at him as he stomped through the doorway.

 

Smiling cheerfully, Caellum waved at his supposed personal servant.

 

"Eh? You came by yourself? Fantastic! Good morning, Toenail. Did you need something? Shut the door behind you. There's a good man."

 

"Why do you keep calling me Toenail? My name is Tonil, no! That's not the point! What did I tell you yesterday?!"

 

"I'm not sure? I really wasn't listening." Caellum answered honestly as he cleaned his ears with his pinky finger before flicking the ball of wax that came out at Toenail.

 

Plop.

 

His aim was surprisingly good, and the ball of wax landed right on Toenail's cheek, right beneath his eye.

 

Seeing it there, Caellum was actually quite disgusted.

 

Both with himself and with Toenail.

 

Toenail because he was ugly, and himself because he felt gross.

 

He desperately needed a Q-tip or at least the tools to make one.

 

"You-"

 

As Toenail charged, lifted by the neck, and slammed him into a wall, Caellum immediately swung the lantern he had gripped in his hidden hand against Toenail's head.

 

SMASH.

 

"Eahhhhhhhh!"

 

The unlit lantern smashed against Toenails' head, causing him to shriek and release Caellum.

 

As the servant reeled while clutching his head-

 

BANG!

 

Caellum smashed the metal lantern against Toenail's temple, causing him to drop straight to the ground as his eyes rolled backward.

 

Caellum glanced down at the lantern, whistling as he noted that despite using it as a door knocker against Toenails' head, the glass wasn't even cracked.

 

"I wonder who the craftsman is. It's very sturdy. I like it. Now, what to do about this one?"

 

Glancing down at Toenail, who lay still but was still breathing, Caellum sighed before beginning the tedious process of dragging him to the bathroom.

 

By the time Caellum had Toenail kneeling over the tub full of water, with his limbs tied up with his clothes, Caellum's own limbs were shaking and aching more than usual, he was out of breath, and his body was covered in sweat.

 

What kind of trashy weak body is this?

 

I need to fix it as soon as possible.

 

After making a resolution to cure whatever was wrong with his body sooner rather than later, Caellum began the process of gently waking Toenail up from his impromptu nap.

 

Digging through the man's pockets until he found a handkerchief, he tied it over Toenails' face, palming the gleaming bald head, and began repeatedly dunking it into the tub while softly tapping his head and gently calling his name.

 

SLAP!

 

"Wake the hell up, you damn baldy before I send you to the underworld."

 

SLAP!

 

"Oh, so you really want to die? Huh! I said, " Wake up. Compared to what you did to me yesterday, I didn't even hit you that hard."

 

SLAP!

 

"Eyyyy! So you really want to die like this? Wow. How bold of you."

 

SLAP!

SLAP!

SLAP!

 

As Caellum repeatedly slapped- no, gently tapped Toenail on the head while dunking him, eventually the man finally woke up and began sputtering and coughing.

 

Cough cough, kuh-kuh

 

As Toenail began coughing and struggling while trying to breathe, Caellum kindly removed the handkerchief tied on his face.

 

He even patted the man on the back so he could breathe better.

 

"Good, good, take a deep breath. There's a good man."

 

"You- I'll report cough cough."

 

"You'll report me? To who? You think you're making it out of this room alive?" Caellum asked as he picked up the sturdy lantern again.

 

When Toenail met his eyes while still hacking his lungs out, Caellum smiled as he saw the man's pupils shaking before explaining.

 

"I want you to know that this isn't really me. I'm actually a very non-violent person, you know. I prefer to talk and make deals like a gentleman, and usually, I'm fine with tolerating things. But… I hate people messing around with me even more. If you were actually committed to oppressing me, I would have let it go, but you're so halfhearted at it, I thought I might as well beat some sense into you and see what happens."

"Wha-? You can't do this." Toenail squeaked out as he tried to take a deep breath despite his pounding head and all the water in his nose and throat.

 

He couldn't believe that the 13th prince was doing this to him.

 

Wasn't he afraid of being punished?

 

Also, he dared to say he was non-violent while torturing him?! Had he lost it?

 

"Can't I? Listen, just because I stay quiet, it seems that you've forgotten that I'm royalty? Even if the queen doesn't like the king or I don't care about me, and I have no mother, at the end of the day, the blood flowing through my veins is royal, and yours is not. So if I decide to kill you right now, you're just a servant; no one will do a single thing. You know where I was yesterday? The library. Checked all the laws front to back and back to front to make sure I was right. You know what it says? If a personal servant disrespects the master, I can punish you however I please, or even kill you, without the queen's permission as the manager of the royal household. Even if the queen is upset, I'm within my rights to punish you, and the worst that will happen is more confinement, and then who knows, maybe she'll assign me a new servant whom I'll beat into behaving as well, or maybe I'll get to select my own. Now, are you ready to make a deal, or would you like to swim again, or should I just kill you?"

 

Cough cough, kuh-kuh

 

"The Queen will-"

 

"Aish. How annoying. Take another swim, and hopefully it clears your head."

 

Tossing the handkerchief back over Toenail's face, Caellum pushed the man's head back into the tub while counting off.

 

Despite Toenail struggling with all his might, splashing water everywhere, Caellum held his head down for a full 15 seconds, and when the time was up, let him raise his head and took the handkerchief off.

 

"Well?"

 

"I'll-"

 

"Swim time."

Splash!

 

"Ready to cooperate?"

 

Cough cough!

"Never, the-"

"Let's swim."

 

Splash!

 

After several more rounds of practicing how to swim in a bathtub, with Toenails struggling, getting weaker and weaker, when Caellum took the handkerchief off his face-

 

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

 

All Caellum heard was an enthusiastic sound of agreement before he could even ask a question.

 

"Ara? A little too enthusiastic. Maybe I should dunk you again? Just for good measure?"

 

"No! No sir! No, your highness! I'm ready to cooperate to the fullest extent."

 

"Hmmm~, but you slapped me pretty hard yesterday. Look, my face and neck are bruised. Compared to that, I've been pretty gentle to you, haven't I? Didn't even leave a mark. Aren't I kind? You should take at least one more dunk for each bruise. And then a long one for old times' sake." Caellum asked as he pointed to his bruised face.

 

"My apologies, your highness! It was my mistake! I will never do such a thing again! Please! Please forgive me! Please. I'll tell you everything you want to know. I'll stop stealing your monthly allowance!!"

 

Seeing as Toenail actually began sobbing, snot and tears leaking down his face, Caellum stuck out his tongue.

 

"Kidding~. No need to cry, we're just having a discussion among men, you know. A joke between men. You agree, right? Or should I dunk you?"

 

"I agree! I agree!!! It was a joke! Sniff! Just tell me what you need me to do, and I'll do it! Sniff!" Although the tears kept falling, the mucus was sucked into Toenail, which grossed Caellum out even more.

 

Backing away, he gestured to Toenail to stand up, and when the man finally did, after slipping and sliding all over the place, he spoke calmly.

 

"No. I'm actually not looking for anything to change. I don't need you to spy for me or anything. Keep everything the same. In the mornings, they come barging in like usual, bring me my breakfast, and leave after about 10 minutes of yelling nonsense like you usually do. If anyone asks you to report on me, report honestly. On the days my bruising fades, slap me a couple of times until it comes back. Got it?"

 

"Wh-what?" Toenail looked completely confused, but Caellum shrugged.

 

"Do you understand? Or do you need some water to clear your head? Shall we head back to the tub?"

 

"Y-y-yes. I mean no!! I understand!!!" Toenail stood up at attention, as if he were afraid that if he slouched, Caellum would toss him back into the tub.

 

"Good. So you'll do as I said, right? Or are you planning on reporting me to the queen? Well, if you do, and her behavior towards me changes, I'll just kill you and deal with the consequences later. Understand?"

 

"Yes, your highness!"

 

"So it's a deal?"

 

"Yes, your highness!"

 

"If I untie you, are you planning on attacking me?" Caellum asked while swinging his lantern playfully while his eyes gleamed viciously.

It looked as if he really wanted an excuse to swing the lantern and just seeing it, Tonil's head hurt even more.

 

"No, Your Highness!"

 

"No need to yell."

 

"ʸᵉˢ, ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᶦᵍʰⁿᵉˢˢ"

…….
Why the hell are you whispering?

 

Newly irritated, Caellum removed the ties around Toenail's hands and feet before pointing him to the bathroom.

 

"Wipe your face and get the hell out. And I recommend wearing a hat to cover the bump on your head, or come up with a decent excuse. And make sure you look confident as you leave." Caellum instructed

 

"ʸ⁻ʸᵉˢ, ˢᶦʳᵎ ᴵ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ, ʸᵉˢ, ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᶦᵍʰⁿᵉˢˢ."

 

Watching Toenail scramble out the door after wiping his face on his sleeve, Caellum shook his head in annoyance as he looked down at himself.

 

He was soaking wet.

 

How annoying.

 

Still, it wasn't like he had a change of clothes right now, and it would help his pitiful appearance.

 

Squeezing out as much water as he could, Caellum opened the door to see the same guard that he had seen yesterday morning.

 

Caellum tossed him a silver, and the guard slipped it into his pocket before bowing politely.

 

"Good morning. To the library and then I'll fetch your breakfast, your highness?"

 

"Yes."

"Shall we take the long way again today?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Understood. Please follow me."

 

The guard led Caellum to the library, and this time around, he got even more looks than yesterday.

 

When he arrived in the library, Paigel took one look at him and sent him to sit by a window, far away from books, until he dried off.

 

Then, she allowed him to continue his reading from yesterday.

 

When his meal arrived, he shared half with the librarian and ate the other half after observing her, then continued his reading until the library closed.

 

Thankfully, Paigel decided to let me take a few books back with him, and as he walked back to his room, accompanied by the guard, Caellum planned his evening.

 

Some more reading before going to sleep.

 

He just needed to hold on until Zahra was no longer his night guard, and then he could begin his night exploration.

 

As for her mother? He had no plans to see her again.

 

Unfortunately, it seemed the universe had a sense of humor.

 

As he approached his door, he saw a familiar old lady, wearing an apron and holding a tiered food box, standing next to Zahra, who stood at attention.

 

"Good evening, your highness, I hope your studies at the library were fruitful." Zahra greeted him with a polite bow of her head.

 

"…yes."

 

"Hello, your highness, I brought you dinner that I made myself," Yaga announced as she smiled at Caellum.

 

"Good evening, madame. While I appreciate it, I'm quite full. But thank you." Caellum politely declined while edging towards his room.

 

He didn't know why Yaga was here, but he wasn't happy about it.

 

Each time he was around her, the hair on the back of his neck stood up, and he felt as if he were in the presence of a snake trying to figure out the best way to eat him.

 

It was uncomfortable.

 

"Oho, such a polite little prince you are. But no need to be shy, I have it on excellent authority that you haven't eaten since breakfast I made you this morning. I saw that you shared it with our lovely Royal Librarian. Did you enjoy it?" Yaga asked with a bright smile.

 

"It was quite delicious," Caellum replied with an even brighter smile, even as he wondered where the hell she had been observing him from and why the hell she had made his food.

 

Weren't there lots of chefs in the palace? Why her?

 

What the hell did she want with him?

 

Shouldn't she be prepping to go join the 12th prince or drawing a bath of poison or something?

 

Was she only harassing him because her daughter was here? Was that why he was being surveilled like this?

 

Caellum wanted to shoot a dirty look at Zahra, but instead restrained himself.

 

"If you enjoyed the food I made earlier, then eat this one. I brought extras for you while bringing Zahra's meal."

 

"Uhm…"

 

"Unless you think I added something to it? You enjoyed the earlier one, right? Shall I give you more of the same, or should I spice it a bit differently next time? Something more like what that hangnail boy brings you?"

 

She was clearly referring to Toenail and subtly threatening to poison his meals.

 

For a second, Caellum thought about going to threaten the 9th prince so he could just have his meals there, but even that wasn't a guaranteed escape from Yaga.

 

After all, this was an assassin living comfortably in the royal palace of a kingdom without getting caught by the king.

 

What could a little prince like him do?

 

"Then I'll have just a bit of what you made."

 

"Eat a bit more, your highness. You're all stick and bone."

 

Smiling even though he wanted to cry, Caellum ate the food while desperately resolving to escape the palace as soon as possible.

 

The moment Zahra was gone, he would sneak out of the palace and into town and begin his money-making endeavors so he could leave the palace even quicker.

 

He absolutely refused to live with someone who melted a whole battlefield into a pile of goo.

 

As he took another bite of the sandwich, Caellum desperately made a wish to the universe.

 

Please Yaga! Go join the 12th prince ASAP!

 

Leave me alone!