Chapter 1: The Axe and the Glitch

The strong smell of metallic blood, heavy sweat, and cheap beer was the very first thing that dragged Roxanne back into a reality she did not know. It was a thick, bad smell that pressed deep into her lungs. The air was hot and sticky under the bright afternoon sun. The next thing she felt was real physical pain. There was a hard, rough wooden board pressing tightly against her collarbones and the bottom of her neck. The wood was full of splinters that poked into her skin. 

She blinked her eyes fast. Her vision was blurry at first, full of weird lights and spinning colors. But then everything became terrifyingly sharp and clear. She was looking down at dark wooden planks. The floorboards were stained with old, dried black spots that could only be blood. Just a few feet away from her face, she saw a pair of heavy leather boots. They had thick soles, they were covered in dirt, and they were not moving at all. Slowly and painfully, Roxanne tilted her chin up just a little bit. Every single muscle in her neck hurt from the strange, forced angle.

Right in front of her face was a massive, shiny iron axe. Its heavy metal blade gleamed with a scary, cold light under the setting sun. Behind the weapon stood a giant of a man. He wore a dirty leather vest and a thick black hood over his head. The hood hid his face completely, except for two cold, bored eyes looking through small holes.

"What in the fucking world is this..." Roxanne tried to speak out loud. But the words got stuck in her throat. Her voice came out as a weak, scratchy wheeze. No one could hear her anyway because a massive, roaring noise swallowed her voice completely.

Her mind was spinning in a wild, chaotic circle. She tried to think about what happened before this. Just a little while ago.....or was it days ago?.....she was sitting in the quiet, cool university library. She remembered it perfectly. She was hunched over her laptop, her fingers typing fast on the keyboard. An empty energy drink can was sitting next to her heavy textbook. She had been studying for a super hard political science final exam. Her sharp tongue had been silently cursing her professor’s name with every miserable page she turned. Roxanne had always been known for her blunt attitude and her slightly mean, sarcastic mouth back in the modern world. She did not take garbage from anyone, and she hated stupid situations. Then, there was a sudden, blinding flash of light. A sharp, crushing pain hit her chest, and then there was nothing but a black void.

Now, she was trapped in a wooden frame. Her hands were pulled flat behind her back and tied tightly with rough rope. The rope cut into her wrists every time she tried to move.

"Look at her! The bad snake still tries to look proud!" a voice from the crowd screamed.

"Traitor! Die for what you did to our soldiers at the borders!" another man yelled.

"To think the Duke's daughter was such a heartless monster! Cut her head off already!" 

The giant wave of thousands of voices crashed into her ears. It was so loud that her teeth felt like they were shaking inside her head. Roxanne strained her sore neck to look to the side. She took in the huge, wide plaza in front of the high wooden stage. Thousands of people were packed shoulder to shoulder. There were normal poor people in simple clothes, rich merchants in nice wool, and royal guards in shiny metal armor. Every single face in the crowd was twisted with pure hatred. And every single eye was staring directly at her.

Suddenly, without any warning, a huge flood of foreign memories slammed into her brain like a fast train. The force of the mental hit made her gasp. Her forehead dropped back down to press hard against the rough wood of the chopping block as her mind was forced to take in new information.

Roxanne von Duccat. That was the name of the girl who owned this new body. She was not a regular, cynical college student anymore. She was the only daughter of a ruined noble house. She was famous across the whole empire for her bad pride, her mean tricks, and her cruel personality. Most recently, she had been accused of trying to kill the Crown Prince and selling military secrets to another country. 

Because of these big crimes, her execution had been moved up fast. The leaders wanted to kill her before her family’s remaining guards could try to save her. There was no long trial, no chance to explain, and no mercy. They had dragged her straight from a cold, dark prison cell to this public execution stage. The sun was going down fast, painting the sky in angry shades of red and purple. She had less than five minutes left before the sun disappeared completely. And when the sun went down, the blade would come down too.

"This is a fucking joke. This has to be a fucking dream," Roxanne muttered frantically to herself. Her logical, modern mind refused to accept this crazy situation. "This is just a super specific hallucination because I studied too hard. Come on, Roxanne, wake up. Wake the fuck up before the big guy with the black hood gives you a permanent haircut."

She squeezed her eyes shut until she saw stars, then she opened them again. The heavy iron blade was still there. The executioner had not vanished. The angry crowd was still screaming for her death with terrifying energy. She was still stuck.

"Roxanne von Duccat."

A cold, loud voice suddenly cut through the noise of the crowd. The voice had a natural, absolute power that made the thousands of shouting people go quiet instantly. The silence that followed was heavy and fast.

Roxanne pulled her aching neck further up to look toward the fancy, velvet covered royal box across from the stage. Sitting in the center of the beautiful seating area, surrounded by rows of elite guards, were four men. Even from this distance, their presence was heavy and suffocating. They radiated high status, power, and a clear desire to see her die.

The man who had spoken was Julian, the Crown Prince of the empire. He sat perfectly straight in clean white and gold armor that caught the last light of the sun like a holy glow. His golden hair was perfectly neat, and his eyes were a bright, righteous blue. He looked down at her with deep disgust. To Julian, she was a bad stain on the land, a wicked woman whose death would show that his justice was absolute.

To Julian's left sat Alistair, the Sword Commander of the Imperial Knights. He did not look like a politician; he looked like a living weapon. His dark hair was cut short and practical, and a silver scar went across his hard jawline. His rough, calloused hand rested easily on the handle of a massive sword on his hip. His grey eyes were locked onto Roxanne with a cold focus. He did not see a scared woman on a block; he saw a dangerous target that needed to be erased forever.

On the prince's right sat Ethan, the High Priest of the Holy Sanctuary. He wore flowing, white robes with silver threads. He looked almost non human because he was so beautiful. His long silver hair fell around a face that looked like it was made of fine white stone. But his eyes were totally frozen. His pale blue gaze had no mercy, no holy kindness, and no warmth. To Ethan, Roxanne was a dirty, bad soul who needed to be destroyed to clean the goddess's holy land.

And leaning heavily against a dark pillar in the back of the box was Malakai, the lethal Shadow Overlord. He was dressed in tight, dark leather with a black cloak over his shoulder. His sharp yellow eyes shined through the darkness, watching her like a patient wild animal waiting for its food. As the leader of the empire's secret spies and killers, he knew every bad thing the original Roxanne had ever done.

Roxanne’s stomach dropped. She did not need a history book to understand what was going on. The four most powerful, dangerous men in the entire kingdom were all in one place, and they all wanted her dead right now.

"Your crimes against the empire are absolute," Prince Julian declared. His voice carried across the quiet plaza with the help of a wind magic tool. "You brought shame to your name, killed innocent soldiers, and tried to destroy our peace. Do you have any final words, villainess?"

Roxanne opened her mouth, her mind moving at top speed. What could she say? 'Hey guys, I’m actually a fucking stressed out college student from a different world who got here five minutes ago, so can we please fucking stop this and talk?' They would just chop her head off twice for being rude. She had a sharp tongue, but she wasn't stupid.

The executioner stepped forward. His huge hands gripped the wooden handle of the heavy axe. He raised it high above his shoulder, his back muscles bunching tightly as he prepared to swing down.

"Time is up," Alistair said coldly from the royal box, his grey eyes narrowing as he watched the blade reach the top.

Roxanne gripped the wood of the frame behind her back. Her knuckles turned white. Her heart hammered against her ribs like a trapped animal. Was this really how it ended? A stupid cosmic joke just to feel her head get cut off?

*System Initializing... 100% complete.*

[Congratulations, Host! You have successfully unlocked the hidden power of your soul. The Great Heroine Salvation System has officially joined with your mind. We are so, so incredibly happy to meet you, girlie!]

Roxanne froze completely. Her eyes went wide with shock. A glowing screen of bright pink light appeared right in front of her face, hovering just inches from her nose. It did not look like a normal, high tech computer screen. The edges of the pink box were decorated with flashing stars and sparkles, and the text was written in a round, cute font that looked totally ridiculous in an execution square.

"A... a System?" Roxanne thought fast, a sudden feeling of hope hitting her chest. She had read enough fantasy novels in her free time to know what this meant. This was her cheat code. Her survival tool. "System! Fast! Give me an escape option right now! Teleport me, give me a magic shield, or make a big explosion! Anything! I am about to fucking die here!"

[Oh my gosh, Host, take a deep breath and just relax....You sure cussed a lot. ] 

The System’s voice echoed inside her head. It did not sound like a smart, logical machine. It sounded exactly like a hyperactive, incredibly air headed teenage girl who had eaten too much sugar and spent her whole life reading cheesy romance books. It was a literal bimbo.

[Look around you, girlie. Look at all these absolutely gorgeous, high quality hunks putting on such a big, dramatic show just to get your undivided attention. Wow, the guys here are literally out of this world.]

Roxanne’s brain completely stopped. Her jaw wanted to drop. "What the hell?"

[I mean, just look at that big, strong boy with the massive sword,] the System continued happily. Little pink hearts started floating across Roxanne’s eyes. [And the prince in the shiny white armor? Totally hot. They are trying so hard to act all tough, mean, and distant. Classic, perfect tsundere behavior! They are totally crazy about you, Host. They just don't know how to show their true feelings without holding a public execution. It’s a little toxic, but like, kind of romantic, right?]

A thick vein throbbed hard in Roxanne’s forehead. Her temporary relief turned into pure, hot anger. This thing was a complete idiot. 

"Are you out of your fucking stupid mind?!" Roxanne screamed back in her thoughts, her voice full of her usual harsh attitude. "They are not being 'tsundere', you absolute bimbo! They are actively trying to separate my fucking head from my neck! The giant man right next to me has an axe! A real, sharp, heavy iron fuckin' axe! He is going to kill me!"

[Pff, details, details,] the System replied with a silly digital pop sound. [True love always starts with a little bit of playful, life threatening tension! But don't worry, because you are the ultimate Heroine of this world. It’s your job to melt their icy hearts with your cute charm and sweet nature. Let’s get this romance started! Generating your very first Heroine Quest right now.]

[Main Quest: The First Spark of True Love.

Objective: A delicate flower cannot stand the harsh wind! Break free from your primitive bindings using the temporary Heroine's Power, and trip gracefully into the arms of the nearest handsome man to start a romantic encounter.

Target: Crown Prince Julian or Sword Commander Alistair.

Time Limit: 10 seconds.

Penalty for Failure: A big lightning strike directly to your head (Instant Death).

Reward for Success: 500 Bimbo Points, Passive Skill: Innocent Tears, and 10 minutes of Magic Armor.]

"The hell?! Are you fuckin' insane?!" Roxanne yelled internally, her panic hitting a high point as she saw the executioner's arms tighten for the downward swing. "I am tied tightly to a heavy wooden frame! How am I supposed to break thick ropes with zero muscle?! And trip into their arms? They are twenty feet away in a high seating area! The physics of this do not work, you dumb machine!"

*Time remaining: 5... 4...*

"System, give me a different quest! Cancel this! Give me a basic shield!"

*3... 2...*

A sharp, hot feeling began to pool at the very top of her head. It was a clear warning that the lightning strike penalty was not a joke. The System’s orders were absolute. She either died by the axe, died by stupid pink lightning, or did something incredibly dumb and embarrassing. 

Roxanne had always been a practical girl, and she hated dying more than she hated looking stupid.

"Shit, screw it!" Roxanne roared in her mind, choosing the chaos.

*1.*

[Heroine's Power: Activated!]

A sudden, crazy rush of heat exploded from the center of her chest. It moved through her arms and legs like hot fire. The physical power was completely unnatural, filling her thin limbs with an insane strength. With a loud, angry gasp, Roxanne wrenched her wrists forward with all her might. The thick, heavy ropes holding her hands behind her back snapped with a loud, violent crack. The broken pieces of rope flew wildly through the air.

Before the executioner could even understand the sound of tearing rope, Roxanne slammed her free hands against the heavy wooden frame around her neck. The thick oak structure shattered under her magic strength, and wooden splinters rained down onto the stage like confetti. She pushed herself up, her legs moving with a supernatural speed she did not know she had.

"What---?!" the executioner shouted in pure shock. His downward swing hit nothing but empty air. The heavy iron axe embedded itself deep into the thick floorboards of the stage with a loud thud.

The crowd erupted into a loud noise of absolute confusion and fear. People started screaming. The royal guards instantly drew their steel swords, the sound of metal clanging together echoing across the square.

Roxanne did not look back. The temporary power was already starting to leave her body fast. The artificial strength left her muscles, making her legs feel like heavy bags of sand. But she kept moving. She was running directly toward the high royal box, her eyes locked onto the white and gold armor of Crown Prince Julian.

The quest had said to trip gracefully.

Roxanne’s foot caught the rough edge of a piece of broken wood on the stage. With her high speed, she did not just trip nicely; she launched herself forward like a human missile. She flew straight across the physical gap between the edge of the execution stage and the royal box balcony.

Prince Julian’s blue eyes went wide in shock. He had expected a dark magic spell, a hidden knife, or a loud plea for mercy from the traitor. He had definitely not expected a flying, messy girl. Before he could even think to touch his sword, Roxanne crossed the distance through the air. Her entire body weight crashed directly into his front armor.

The impact was loud and messy. The sheer force broke right through the decorative wooden railing of the VIP box. Julian was caught completely off guard and could not stand his ground. He lost his footing entirely. The two of them went right over the edge together, falling downward in a wild tangle of arms, legs, white armor, and Roxanne’s purple dress. They crashed directly into the large stone water fountain in the middle of the courtyard.

A massive splash of dirty water shot high into the air. It thoroughly soaked the surrounding guards and rich nobles who had scrambled to get out of the way.

Absolute, stunned silence fell over the entire plaza. The thousands of screaming citizens froze in place. The executioner stood totally dumbfounded on the stage, his hands still holding his stuck axe.

Inside the stone fountain, Roxanne coughed violently, shaking her head as cool water drenched her long dark hair. She found herself sitting directly on top of the Crown Prince's chest armor. Her hands were planted firmly on his gold shoulders to keep her balance. Julian lay flat on his back in the shallow water. His neat blonde hair was messy and wet, and his jaw was completely open with a mix of shock, massive rage, and confusion.

[Quest Complete! Oh my gosh, Host, that was literally the most passionate, breathless entrance ever!] the air headed System squealed happily in her mind. [Look how tightly you're holding him down. He's absolutely frozen by your raw feminine power. The target's heart rate is very high. Note: The data shows it's mostly from pure rage, but the System counts it as love anyway! Love wins!]

[Rewards Given: 500 Bimbo Points credited to your account. Passive Skill: Innocent Tears unlocked. 10 minutes of Magic Armor applied to Host's body.]

Roxanne entirely ignored the flashing pink screens. She glared down with deadpan, exhausted, and incredibly annoyed eyes straight into the furious blue eyes of the Crown Prince.

"Roxanne... von... Duccat," Julian hissed. His voice was shaking with an anger so intense it felt like the stones might crack. His hands came up fast, gripping her shoulders with a force that would have hurt her deeply if not for the new magic armor absorbing the hit. "What is the absolute meaning of this?!"

Roxanne scoffed, her natural bitchy attitude coming right out. "What does it look like, Sherlock? I fuckin' fell."

Before Julian could scream at her for her rude words, the sound of heavy, fast running steps echoed across the stone floor. Sword Commander Alistair was already over the broken railing of the balcony. He landed perfectly by the edge of the fountain with his massive sword fully drawn. The blade was glowing with a scary blue light.

"Get away from the Prince, you traitorous witch!" Alistair roared, raising his weapon high to drive it straight through her body.

High Priest Ethan stood at the edge of the broken balcony above. His pale hands were glowing with a bright white light as he rapidly began chanting a high level magic spell to tie her limbs down. Shadows flickered wildly near the walls as Malakai's hidden killers prepared to jump down from the roofs.

Every single one of them was completely ready to destroy her on the spot without a single thought.

[Wow! Look at them all rushing to your side so fast. They are so incredibly protective, girlie,] the System cheered inside her head. It completely ignored the giant glowing sword pointed right at Roxanne's face. [They are totally fighting over who gets to rescue you from the water first. Truly, you are a magnificent queen in the making. They love you so much!]

Roxanne, looking at immediate, violent death for the second time in three minutes, could only think of one thing as she stared at the flashing pink hearts in her mind. She looked at the prince beneath her, the swordsman above her, and the magic glowing in the air. 

"You are a literal bimbo," Roxanne thought at the System, her mental voice dripping with heavy sarcasm and deep hatred. "They want to bury me, not date me. I am going to find whoever made your stupid shitty code, and I am going to drown them in this fountain."

The guards surrounding the fountain moved in closer, their spears pointed directly at her back. Prince Julian tried to push her off, his face red with embarrassment and anger. Roxanne held her ground for a second, her mind working fast. She knew she had ten minutes of magic armor, but after that, she was toast. If she wanted to survive these four powerful men and the crazy conspiracy that got the original Roxanne framed, she had to play along with this stupid, love obsessed machine. She had to use her modern brain and absolute shamelessness to turn these death threats into complete misunderstandings, or her head would really roll before the sun set.

"Stand down, Alistair!" Julian ordered, finally finding his voice as he glared up at Roxanne. "Do not kill her yet. I want to know how a weak noble girl broke imperial ropes and jumped across a plaza."

Alistair stopped his blade just inches from Roxanne's neck. His grey eyes were full of suspicion and dislike. "Your Highness, she is dangerous. She could have a hidden weapon."

"Look at her," Julian spat, looking at Roxanne's wet dress and cold expression. "She looks ridiculous."

"Hey," Roxanne said, her sharp tongue clicking against her teeth. "I can hear you, you know. And your armor is really hard. It hurts my knees."

[Oh my gosh, Host! Look at that witty banter!] the System giggled. [He called you ridiculous because he thinks you are cute when you are messy! Keep going, girlie! The romance is just starting!]

Roxanne wanted to scream. She was trapped in a world of high stakes politics, surrounded by powerful men who hated her guts, and her only help was the single dumbest legendary artifact in existence. She took a deep breath, looked at the angry faces around her, and prepared herself for a very long, very annoying fight for her life.