CHAPTER 3: WELCOME TO THE BOUNTY TOWN

The two weirdos from the rocket launcher incident were currently tied up in a neat little pile near the front railing of the Going Merry. The guy with the crown.....Mr. 9.....was snoring loudly, his face smushed against the wet wood. The girl with the blue ponytail, Miss Wednesday, was staring at Leo with a deeply suspicious glare.

Leo was busy sitting on a wooden crate, trying to wrap a long piece of cloth around his left ankle. It was swelling up pretty badly from that twist in Loguetown, turning a nice shade of purplish-green. He didn't have any ice, so he just dumped a bucket of ocean water over it. It stung like crazy.

"Hey, you," Miss Wednesday hissed, her voice low so Luffy wouldn't hear. Luffy was currently hanging upside down from the rigging, trying to see if he could catch a passing seagull with his mouth. "How did you know about this whale? And why are you looking at me like that?"

Leo didn't even look up from his bad knot. "Because your real name is Princess Vivi, you're undercover to save your desert kingdom Alabasta from a guy named Crocodile, and you're currently working for a massive criminal group called Baroque Works. Also, your knot is loose."

Vivi's entire face went pale. She actually choked on her own breath, her blue eyes going completely round. "How... who told you that? Are you an agent? Is Mr. 0 onto us?!"

"Nope. I'm just a guy who reads a lot," Leo said, finally pulling the cloth tight. He gave it exactly three quick pats, like he used to do when fixing the old, broken coffee machine back at his boring office job. Three clicks, pat the top, and hope it works. "Look, I'm not going to tell anyone. But you should probably stop trying to kill the whale. Luffy will literally throw you into the horizon if you mess with his friends."

"I... I can't just stop! My country is starving!" she whispered, her voice cracking a little bit before she looked down at the deck, her shoulders dropping.

"We'll get to your country. Just hold your horses," Leo muttered, standing up and testing his weight. It still hurt, but he could walk without looking too ridiculous.

The Going Merry finally sailed out of Laboon's massive stomach canal and back into the open air of the Grand Line. The weather here was completely bi-polar. One minute it was sunny, and the next, huge chunks of hail the size of baseballs started dropping from the sky, smashing into the deck.

"Ah! My head!" Usopp yelled, running around with a frying pan over his skull to block the falling ice blocks. "The Grand Line is cursed! We're gonna get crushed by frozen water!"

Nami was staring at her new Log Pose, her face a mix of pure anger and confusion. The little needle inside the glass ball was spinning in circles like a crazy insect. "This thing is broken! It won't stay still!"

"It's not broken," Zoro said, leaning against the side deck while holding a heavy whetstone against his white sword. *Scritch. Scritch.* He didn't even look up at the giant hail blocks. "The old guy said the islands have magnetic stuff. We just have to choose a direction and stick to it."

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have to navigate!" Nami snapped, turning the steering wheel hard to avoid a random giant wave that appeared out of nowhere.

Sanji kicked a piece of ice off the upper deck, his suit looking perfectly neat despite the chaos. "Nami-swan looks beautiful when she's angry! Don't worry, my love, I'll protect the kitchen from the sky rocks!"

Leo leaned against the mast, watching them all struggle. He knew this part. The weather in the first part of the Grand Line was always completely messed up until the Log Pose locked onto the first island's signal.

"Hey, Nami!" Leo shouted over the sound of a sudden thunderstorm that just started out of nowhere. "Just point the ship toward where the needle is trembling the most! That's the closest island. It's Whisky Peak!"

Nami looked from the spinning needle to Leo, her teeth gritted. "If we hit a rock because of you, I'm taking all your shoes and selling them!"

"I only have these boots, and they smell like old fish!" Leo laughed.

Within an hour, the crazy weather vanished just as fast as it had started. The dark storm clouds split open, and suddenly it was a beautiful, warm afternoon. The ocean became as smooth as glass. Up ahead, a weirdly shaped island appeared out of the blue mist. It looked like a bunch of giant cacti growing out of the water, with little round houses built right into the sides of the hills.

"An island! I see an island!" Usopp cheered, dropping his frying pan. "And look! There are people on the shore!"

Leo squinted. The shore was packed with hundreds of people. They were waving flags, throwing colorful paper ribbons into the air, and cheering so loud the sound drifted all the way across the water.

"Welcome! Welcome to the town of wine and celebration!" a loud voice boomed from a megaphone on the dock. "Welcome, brave pirates of the wide ocean!"

Luffy swung down from the ropes, his eyes turning into giant stars. "Wow! They love us! Look at that, Zoro! They're throwing a party for us!"

Zoro finally put his sword away, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at the cheering crowd. "Seems a little too nice for a pirate town."

"Oh, stop being so grumpy, Zoro!" Nami said, her eyes turning into currency symbols. "If they have wine, they might have treasure or cheap supplies! Let's land!"

The Going Merry smoothly glided against the wooden dock. The moment the ropes were tied, a tall man with massive curly hair that looked like a giant blonde afro stepped forward. He was wearing a fancy suit and holding a glass of juice.

"Welcome, travelers! I am Igaram, the mayor of this wonderful town of Whisky Peak!" the man said, clearing his throat with a weird sound. "Ma-ma-maaa! We love pirates here! You must be exhausted from the dangerous water mountain! Please, come to our town and drink until you drop!"

"Food! Is there meat?!" Luffy yelled, jumping off the ship and landing right in front of the mayor.

"Of course! The finest pork and beef in the East Blue!" Igaram smiled, his big curly hair bouncing.

Leo stayed on the ship for a second, watching the crew eagerly run off into the crowd. Sanji was already surrounded by three local girls wearing summer dresses, his legs turning into jelly. Usopp was telling a massive crowd of children about how he fought a giant whale with his bare hands.

Leo hopped down onto the wooden dock, his bad ankle twinging. He looked around the crowd and spotted a few specific people. A guy with a huge cowboy hat and a guitar, and a big lady with yellow hair. Millions and Billions. The low-level bounty hunters of Baroque Works.

"Hey, Leo!" Luffy called out from the middle of the street, his arms full of three giant roasted hams. "Come on! The food is awesome!"

"Yeah, coming!" Leo shouted back. He kept his rusty sword tucked closely to his side. He didn't plan on eating too much. He needed to stay awake for the midnight show.

The party inside the town's main hall was completely out of control by the time the sun went down. The room was huge, lit by dozens of yellow torches. There were long wooden tables piled high with plates of fried meat, giant barrels of sweet purple wine, and people singing old sailor songs at the top of their lungs.

Luffy was eating like a literal vacuum cleaner, shoved into a corner between two tables. He was grabbing whole chickens, stuffing them into his mouth, and spitting out the bones like a machine gun. His stomach was already ballooning up into a giant round ball.

"More! Bring more juice!" Luffy muffled, his face covered in gravy.

"Here you go, brave captain!" a local townsperson said, dumping another huge tray of food in front of him.

Over at the center table, Nami was in the middle of a massive drinking contest with five big guys and the yellow-haired lady, Miss Monday. There were dozens of empty wooden mugs stacked up around her. Nami looked completely drunk, her face red, giggling and banging her mug against the table.

"I can... I can drink way more than you guys!" Nami laughed, spilling some wine down her shirt. "Bring another barrel!"

Miss Monday grinned, her huge muscular arms crossed. "You've got spirit, little girl. Let's see if you can handle the strong stuff."

Sanji was on the dance floor, spinning around with four women at the same time, his eyes completely replaced by giant red hearts. "This is heaven! I'm never leaving this island! Nami-swan, look at my dance moves!"

Zoro was sitting alone in a darker corner near the back exit, a giant barrel of ale next to his chair. He was drinking steadily, his eyes half-closed like he was about to fall asleep right there.

Leo sat a few feet away from Zoro, slowly chewing on a piece of dry bread. He hadn't touched a single drop of the wine.

"You're not drinking," Zoro said suddenly. His voice was low, cutting right through the noisy singing in the hall. He didn't turn his head to look at Leo, just kept his eyes on his mug.

"Nah," Leo said, leaning his chin on his hand. "Bad stomach. Plus, someone's got to make sure we don't all end up in a cage by midnight."

Zoro let out a tiny, sharp grunt that might have been a laugh. "You notice it too?"

"Hard not to," Leo muttered, pointing a thumb toward the windows. "The town has way too many people with scars, nobody is doing any actual farming, and the mayor's hair looks like it has a gun hidden inside it. Which it does, by the way. It's a multi-barrel shot-cannon."

Zoro finally turned his head, his one visible eye looking at Leo with a bit of real interest. "You're a weird guy, Leo. You talk like you've already lived through all of this."

"I just know how these stories go," Leo smiled, taking another bite of his bread. "The nice people are always the ones who want to cut your head off for money."

"Let them try," Zoro said, closing his eyes and letting his head drop back against the wall, acting like he was totally passed out.

By midnight, the noise in the hall finally died down. One by one, the Straw Hats collapsed. Luffy was flat on his back on the floor, his stomach looking like a giant water balloon, snoring so loud the windows rattled. Sanji was face-down under a table, mumbling about pretty girls. Nami had her head resting on her arms, completely still among the empty mugs.

The local townspeople stopped singing. The happy smiles instantly vanished from their faces.

Igaram, the mayor, walked into the middle of the quiet room. He wasn't smiling anymore. He looked very cold and serious. He pulled a white cloth out of his pocket and wiped some sweat from his face.

"Are they all out?" Igaram asked.

Miss Monday stepped over Nami's limp arm, her face hard. "Yeah. The rubber kid ate enough poison meat to kill a giant sea king. The girl drank fifteen mugs of our special knockout wine. They're done."

The guy with the guitar and the cowboy hat.....Mr. 9.....walked in from the entrance, his tied-up ropes gone. "Good. The Marine headquarters is offering a total of thirty million berries for the Straw Hat guy. We're going to be rich, baby."

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Miss Wednesday (Vivi) said, walking in behind him with her white pet duck, Karoo. She looked a bit worried, her eyes scanning the room until they landed on Leo's chair.

Leo was sitting perfectly still in the dark corner, his arms crossed. Zoro was right next to him, his head still tilted back.

"Wait," Mr. 9 stopped, pointing his guitar at them. "Those two... why aren't they on the floor?"

Leo stood up, his boots making a distinct clicking sound on the stone floor. He stretched his arms above his head, his joints popping. "Because the bread here is actually pretty good, but your wine smells like paint thinner."

Right next to him, Zoro opened both eyes. He didn't look drunk at all. His eyes were sharp and clear. He stood up slowly, his three swords clicking against his belt. "I was wondering when you guys were going to stop singing. Your voices are terrible."

The bounty hunters inside the hall instantly drew their weapons. Knives, pistols, and iron clubs appeared from under the tables.

"You faked it!" Miss Monday roared, stepping forward with her huge fists clenched.

"Of course we did," a voice laughed from the middle of the room.

Nami sat up straight, wiping the fake red makeup off her cheeks with her sleeve. She looked completely sober and very annoyed. "You guys really thought I'd get taken down by a little cheap wine? I've been out-drinking angry sailors since I was ten years old."

"Nami!" Vivi gasped, backing up a step. "You too?"

"Hey, Leo told me about the knockout wine before we even sat down," Nami said, hopping off the table and pulling out her wooden three-piece staff. "Though I did manage to steal three wallets while you guys were busy celebrating." She jiggled a small leather pouch that clinked with gold coins.

Igaram's face went dark. "It doesn't matter if you're awake. There are Benson and hundreds of our Billions outside. You're outnumbered and trapped inside our town. Capture them!"

"Zoro, handle the front door!" Leo yelled, hopping backward toward the kitchen exit. "I'll go wake up the kitchen idiot!"

"Don't order me around," Zoro grunted, but he already had his black-handled sword in his mouth, his hands drawing the other two. He turned into a literal green blur, charging straight into the crowd of bounty hunters before they could even aim their pistols.

*Clang! Sparks!*

Leo didn't stay to watch the fight. He knew Zoro could take down the entire town by himself without a scratch. He limped quickly into the back kitchen where Sanji was supposed to be sleeping under the table.

"Sanji! Wake up! The girls were bounty hunters!" Leo yelled, kicking the cook's boot.

Sanji didn't move. He just rolled over, a giant bubble of snot inflating from his nose. "Mmm... Nami-swan... more cake..."

"Oh, come on," Leo groaned. He looked around the kitchen, spotted a large copper pot full of leftover ice water, and dumped the entire thing directly onto Sanji's face.

"Ah! Cold! Murder!" Sanji jumped up, his legs kicking the table over. He wiped the water out of his eyes, looking around wildly. "Where are the ladies?! Who did this?!"

"The ladies tried to cut your throat, man," Leo said, pointing out the door where the sounds of breaking tables and screaming men were echoing loudly. "Zoro's out there getting all the credit for saving the ship."

"That moss-head?!" Sanji's face instantly turned red with jealousy. He fixed his wet tie, his boots making a fiery sound as he spun around. "No way he's showing off in front of Nami-swan! I'm gonna kick his face in!" He burst through the kitchen door like a rocket, his legs swinging.

Leo walked out behind him slowly. The main hall was already an absolute mess. Zoro had sliced through the center pillar, causing half the ceiling to sag down. Miss Monday was currently flying through a window after getting kicked by Sanji, and Mr. 9 was stuck upside down in a giant barrel of wine, his legs kicking the air.

Nami was standing near the door, using her staff to knock out a random guy who tried to sneak up on her. She looked at Leo. "Where's Luffy?"

Leo looked over at the corner. Luffy was still flat on his back, his giant belly rising and falling. A huge chunk of wood from the broken ceiling had landed right next to his head, but he hadn't even blinked. He was snoring with an incredibly loud *Zzzzz*.

"He's gonna be out for a while," Leo said. "The poison meat didn't hurt him, but he genuinely ate about four hundred pounds of food. He's basically a solid rock right now."

Suddenly, the front doors of the hall blew inward with a loud explosion.

Two new people walked into the smoky room. One was a very tall man with long dark hair twisted into the shape of numbers on his head.....Mr. 5. He was wearing a long brown coat and eating a piece of gum. Next to him was a woman with a big yellow hat and a frilly dress, holding a pink umbrella.....Miss Valentine.

Igaram was bleeding from a small cut on his forehead, kneeling on the floor. He looked up at the two newcomers, his face going completely white. "Mr. 5... Miss Wednesday... why are the Officer Agents here? We have the situation under control!"

Mr. 5 blew a small pink bubble with his gum, then popped it with a sharp sound. "We didn't come for the Straw Hats, Igaram. The boss found out there's a traitor in the group. Someone leaked the secret identity of Mr. 0."

Vivi's breath caught in her throat. She tried to back up toward the broken window, but Miss Valentine suddenly floated up into the air like a balloon, landing right in front of her with a loud, heavy *THUD* that cracked the floorboards.

"Gyahahaha! Found you, Princess Vivi of Alabasta!" Miss Valentine laughed, her dress swirling. "The boss says your little secret agent game is over. Time to die."

Igaram scrambled up, pulling his hands toward his neck. His curly afro hair suddenly split open, revealing a row of small black gun barrels hidden inside the locks. "Protect the Princess! Run, Miss Wednesday!"

He pulled a string, and his hair started firing dozens of small bullets toward Mr. 5.

*Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!*

Mr. 5 didn't even try to dodge. The bullets hit his chest and face, but instead of blood, they just made tiny harmless smoke puffs against his skin. He was the Bomb-Bomb fruit user. Explosions couldn't hurt him because he was made of gunpowder.

"Annoying," Mr. 5 muttered. He stuck his pinky finger inside his nose, pulled out a tiny piece of dirt, and flicked it right at Igaram.

"Watch out! It's a bomb!" Leo yelled, grabbing Nami's shoulder and pulling her down behind a thick wooden table.

The tiny piece of nose dirt flew across the room and hit Igaram's chest. The moment it touched him, it erupted into a massive, blinding orange explosion that threw the old mayor completely across the room, smashing him into the back wall.

"Igaram!" Vivi screamed, tears instantly flowing down her face. She ran toward him, but Mr. 5 was already walking toward her, his boots leaving black scorch marks on the floor.

Zoro stood in the middle of the broken hall, his three swords still drawn. He looked at Sanji, then down at Leo. "What do we do with these guys? They're fighting each other now."

"We have to save the girl," Leo said, his voice serious as he stood up from behind the table. "If she dies here, her whole country goes down, and we don't get our ticket to the next island."

Nami's ears perked up at the word 'ticket'. "Wait, does she have money? A princess must have a ton of gold, right?"

"She's broke right now, but her dad will pay us a billion berries if we get her back alive," Leo lied slightly, knowing the king was actually broke too, but it was the only way to get Nami to cooperate.

"A billion?!" Nami's eyes turned into giant gold coins again. She slammed her staff on the floor. "Zoro! Sanji! Save that blue-haired girl right now! If a single hair on her head gets hurt, I'm cutting your allowances forever!"

"Yes, Nami-swan! Your wish is my absolute command!" Sanji yelled, his leg instantly catching fire as he charged straight for Mr. 5.

Zoro sighed, shifting his grip on his swords. "I hate dealing with royal stuff." He ran toward Miss Valentine, his blades gleaming in the firelight.

Leo didn't join the fight. He knew the Officer Agents were strong, but compared to Zoro and Sanji, they were basically training dummies. He walked over to where Luffy was still snoring on the floor. He grabbed a small pitcher of hot tea from a side table and dumped it directly into Luffy's nose.

"Pwah! Hot! Hot!" Luffy sneezed, his giant belly jiggling violently as he sat up. He rubbed his nose, his eyes blinking open. "Hey! Who turned off the music? Where's the pork?"

"The pork is gone, Luffy," Leo said, pointing at the massive fight happening in the center of the room. "And those guys over there just broke the table with the leftover cakes."

Luffy looked at the shattered table, his face instantly turning into a mask of pure, childish rage. "They... they broke the food table?"

"Yeah. The guy with the brown coat did it," Leo said, pointing at Mr. 5.

Luffy stood up, his feet sinking into the floorboards as he stretched his neck out. "Hey! You! You're gonna pay for that cake!"

With a loud roar, Luffy's fist flew backward, stretching all the way out into the street before snapping back with the force of a giant iron wrecking ball.

"Gum-Gum... BULLET!"

The punch hit Mr. 5 directly in the stomach just as he was trying to block Sanji's kick. The sheer force of Luffy's rubber fist launched the bomb man straight through the thick stone wall of the hall, sending him flying out into the night sky like a shooting star.

"Gyahahaha! That's what you get!" Luffy laughed, his belly finally shrinking back to its normal size.

Miss Valentine saw her partner disappear into the clouds and instantly stopped fighting Zoro. She looked around the room at the four completely fine pirates, then at the unconscious bounty hunters on the floor. "You... you guys are monsters!"

She opened her pink umbrella, floated up through the broken ceiling, and drifted away into the dark night as fast as the wind could carry her.

The hall went completely quiet again, save for the crackling of the small fires around the broken wood.

Vivi was kneeling next to Igaram, who was breathing heavily but still alive. She looked up at the Straw Hat crew, her body shaking. "Why... why did you save me? I tried to kill your whale."

Luffy walked over, picking up a stray apple from the floor and wiping it on his vest. He took a loud bite. *Crunch.* "Because Leo said you're a princess. And princesses shouldn't be crying over broken cake."

Nami pushed past Luffy, her face leaning right into Vivi's view. "Never mind the cake. Let's talk about that one billion berry reward. We're your bodyguards now, Princess."

Leo looked out the broken window at the quiet town. He knew they couldn't stay here long. Crocodile would find out about the failure within a day, and the elite agents would be sent next. But for now, they had their navigator, their cook, their swordsman, and a princess.

He looked down at his own cheap, bent iron sword and let out a happy sigh. "Alright, Alabasta route is officially unlocked. This is going to be a completely wild trip."