Chapter 6: Recovery

The author has no intention of denying the effectiveness of exercise in treating depressive symptoms.

10 Years Old Arc: A Girl from an Inferior Race

Recovery

My mother died.

She died of pneumonia, after cancer had metastasized throughout her body.

Whether it was due to morphine or something else, my mother passed away peacefully in her sleep, her consciousness clouded.

I didn't cry when my mother died, at the funeral, or when the coffin was carried out.

A man of the Bernstein family must never show tears, no matter the circumstances.

As I sat in the front row at the funeral, where my mother's portrait was displayed, relatives and my father's military men showered me with praise.

"Is that Maximilian, a descendant of the great hero Friedrich von Bernstein? He's standing so straight."

"Young master Maximilian is very composed."

"He even managed to hold back a tear at his mother's funeral. The Bernstein family is secure."

After the funeral, when I returned home and went back to my assigned room, I found I couldn't move.

★

"ARE YOU EVEN A MAN OF THE BERNSTEIN FAMILY?!"

I was blown away and slammed against the wall of my room.

My father had punched me.

Not content with that, my father approached me, grabbed me by the collar, and punched me repeatedly in the face.

"How long are you going to keep acting like that?! It's been two weeks since Rosalinde died!"

Be a man and pull yourself together! Stop moping around!!

Do you really think you can survive in the Naraka world with such a weak and spoiled attitude?!

Do you really think you can protect the Bernstein family and Mittelland in that state?!"

He's right.

It's been quite some time since my mother died.

I'm a man, so I have to be strong.

Naraka doesn't tolerate weakness.

I have to protect this house and this country.

My father's words, as he continues to beat me, are absolutely correct.

But I can't move a single finger.

★

My father, realizing that beating me wasn't effective, started inviting various people into my room.

A female relative urged me on.

"Staying in your room all the time isn't good for your health. Come on, let's get out of here."

A close classmate invited me with a smile.

"How long are you going to stay holed up? Let's play at school again."

A military man covered in medals offered encouragement.

"General Friedrich must be weeping when he sees you now! Come on, look ahead!"

Then a psychiatrist came to visit.

"Exercise has good effects on the mind. Why don't you start with a walk every morning?"

Their advice was clearly perfectly valid and infallible.

But even though I wanted to stand up, I couldn't move my body.

★

Finally, my father dragged me out of the mansion and forced me to stay at a villa on the slopes of the Orbus Mountains.

Of course, that was only natural.

Right now, I was the very embodiment of the Bernstein family's shame.

Unlike in previous years, when I enjoyed the natural beauty of Orbus, I stayed in my room at the villa, with all the curtains drawn, hugging my knees and feeling depressed.

As usual, Aunt Bernold prepared my meals, and I only ate what Mr. Weiss brought me—whatever I could manage to swallow.

It must have been about a week later.

The door to my room opened, and after a while, I heard the voices of my father, Rüdiger, and an unfamiliar man. Then, footsteps that seemed accustomed to slowing down their pace approached, and someone called out to me.

"Hey... is it okay.... if I sit here.... with you?"

A slightly low, but pleasant, girl's voice echoed in the quiet room.

It's probably just someone who's been told by my father to take me outside again.

I glanced at the dark figure briefly, then decided to ignore it.

She sat down beside me after asking for permission in her broken Alban, but contrary to my expectations, she didn't say a word.

★

Time passed like that.

I felt like something like a wave was reaching me from my side.

Perhaps it was my imagination, but as I was bathed in that wave, I had the illusion that my heavy body was slowly becoming lighter.

I was curious about the nature of the wave, and following my renewed impulse, I questioned the mysterious girl.

"Aren't you going to say anything to me?"

"Huh? Did you... want me.... to say something?"

"No, it's not that...!!"

I thought she was beautiful.

Golden eyes that radiated light even in the dim room. Silver hair tinged with yellow that shimmered, reflecting even the slightest light.

The contours of her face, faintly visible, were very well-defined, arousing a desire to see her in brighter light.

She had animal ears on top of her head, a characteristic of the inferior beastman race, but I didn't feel the usual aversion I feel when I hear the word "beastman."

I wanted to be with her more.

The thoughts that arose within me led me to utter words not to drive her away, but to passively keep her there.

"You can stay here."

★

Silence enveloped the surroundings.

The girl with animalistic features remained seated, doing nothing and not speaking to me, perhaps due to her incredible patience.

I felt her presence and wished this moment could last as long as possible.

Brrrrrr~

That wish was shattered by the girl's rumbling stomach.

..... It couldn't be helped. I was the only one who could lead her to the lunch that was likely laid out in the dining hall.

I felt sad that this moment was coming to an end, but as I touched her soft, delicate hand, I felt my heavy heart begin to flutter slightly.

★

As I led the beast-girl by the hand to the dining hall, my gaze was fixed on her as she was illuminated by the bright lights.

Her silky silver hair shone even more brightly in the light, and her features were as beautiful as ever.

The tear mole next to her right eye looked as if she were shedding a tear.

She stared intently at the food laid out before her, her animal ears perked up and her tail wagging wildly from side to side, seemingly unaware of my gaze.

Even during the meal, I found myself staring at her and her actions with such intensity that I felt I might bore a hole through her.

I couldn't take my eyes off her voice either.

I see.

Her name is Celica.

She's the same age as me.

When Celica suddenly looked at me, I felt a pang of shame, as if she had noticed how intently I had been focusing on her.

★

After dinner, I returned to my room and hugged my knees.

I hoped that Celica would sit beside me again.

She entered the room much later than me, sat beside me as she had that morning, and began to read.

I asked Celica, in a husky voice, the title of the book. She said it was "On the Tracks" by Formann Fesse.

It was a story of a brilliant boy who is crushed by the expectations of those around him and ends up ruined.

It's just like me right now.

By the way, I suddenly wondered.

'Does Celica have the intelligence to read books?'

When I asked her about it, Celica, her animal ears tensed, replied that she could read.

I chuckled a little at her angry expression.

And then, without being asked, I told Celica my name, Maximilian, the name my parents gave me.

I wanted her to know even just a tenth of the interest I had in her.

Furthermore, I let my renewed energy go to waste, and I forcefully grabbed Celica's hand and began to show her around the mansion.

She obediently followed.

★

After giving a tour around the villa, I invited Celica to play billiards.

She wasn't very good.

Despite her animalistic appearance, she might not be very athletic.

Perhaps sensing my inner superiority over Celica, she became determined and practiced hitting the balls with her cue.

And that's when Celica leaned forward towards me, holding her cue.

I saw it.

A soft-looking bulge with a beautiful pink protrusion.

She wasn't wearing any underwear!

She tilted her head as I averted my gaze.

It seemed she hadn't noticed.

★

Celica's father drove away in a car that was clearly of low quality.

Celica watched him go, her animal ears drooping in front of her head.

Her tail was also drooping.

During dinner, she seemed somehow less energetic than she had been during the day.

Seeing this, I found a dark pleasure in the fact that her father, who had likely been the focus of Celica's attention, was gone.

After dinner and a shower, I returned to my room.

Celica didn't come.

A heavy atmosphere settled over me again.

Wanting to recall even a little of the fun time I had with her, I headed to the game room with the billiard table.

★

Conveniently for me, Celica came over once again.

We sat side-by-side under the window, and time passed in complete silence.

"Hey, can I touch your ears and tail?"

".... Yes.... you can.... But please.... be gentle."

Gathering my courage, I confessed the longing I'd felt all day. Celica hesitated for a moment but agreed, letting me touch her animal ears and tail.

I was immediately captivated by the sensations transmitted through my hands.

The animal ears offered both the softness of fur and the warmth of blood flowing through them, while the tail provided a living elasticity and a feeling like combing smooth silk threads.

I became so engrossed that I unintentionally tightened my grip, hurting her.

If it felt this good, wouldn't some person try to force their way into touching her even if she objected?

I savored her fur for about an hour, immersing myself in a lingering sense of satisfaction even after letting go.

...

"..... My mother died."

The feel of Celica's animal ears and tail, and the aura she exuded, had completely relaxed me, and I inadvertently blurted out a recent past I had kept sealed away.

Taking advantage of Celica's silent listening, I began to let out the heavy burden I had placed upon myself.

The fear of disappointing her crossed my mind, but once it started flowing, there was no stopping it.

What began as a small outpouring of thoughts and emotions transformed into a raging torrent.

"I'm!! I'm a bigger failure than Hans from 'On the Tracks'!! Someone like me is worthless!! I should just disappe—!"

While I was killing myself with my own words, Celica suddenly hugged me tightly.

"It must have been... so hard... It must have been.... painful... But even so.... you were desperately.... trying to endure it.... weren't you?"

She stroked my back and spoke to me in clumsy but gentle words.

Like a mother comforting her child.

"But you don't.... have to try.... so hard anymore..... Look.... there's only... one animal here.... So.... you can cry... to your heart content?"

"Ughh... Ahhhhhhh!!!"

I let out a humiliatingly loud cry, shedding tears for the first time since my mother's death.

As I hugged Celica back, I realized my true feelings.

I was sad that my mother had died.

I wanted someone to know my sadness.

Moreover, I wanted someone to accept me for who I truly am.

We hugged each other until the morning sun streamed in through the window.

Celica was crying with me, empathizing with my pain.

Even amidst my sadness, I felt happiness.