AMLB 04

Adriana’s Magical Library and Bookshop

04: [Subtitle Subtitles Subtitly]

Seargent Nolan cursed under his breath as his leg briefly buckled, sending him falling into a muddy puddle. He hoped it was mud, anyway.

That damn beastkin spy had gotten him really good. Hit like a damn minotaur. Maybe she was a shaman? If so the situation was even worse. The donkey kicking him after was just insult to injury.

But the real insulting part was no one believed him.

A beastkin spy in the city, right in the heart of Humanity’s power? Ridiculous, and a bunny girl at that? The guard captain thought he was just drunk and told him to sleep it off after a short search.

Describing the bunnykin running up the buildings and making her way over rooftops made them even more skeptical.

But he knew what he had seen, and he had the damn bruises to show it. They thought he’d just gotten in a fight in a tavern and kicked out, but he’d only had that happen once. Wasn’t his fault the innkeeper’s wife couldn’t keep her husband entertained.

Holding his leg for support, he slowly rose back up to continue his path to a certain non-descript stone building near the Mage’s Tower.

The Inquisitors’ Hall.

If the Guard thought he was just drunk and hallucinating, then maybe they would listen to him.

The building really didn’t look like the more extravagant noble’s houses. Instead, it was simple stone walls, minimal windows, a fence, and patrolling guards. It was practical enough to fit in right in with the fortifications he’d been in back in his army days, before he took an arrow to the shin.

He wasn’t stopped by the guards at the entrance beyond them asking for his Guard badge, which he readily supplied.

Then, bureaucracy struck.

He was told to wait in a waiting room. Lesser inquisitors went to and fro, often carrying papers or other mundane supplies fit for the average scribe or accountant. On one occasion he saw two burly, black armored men manhandling a third individual into through one door and out the other.

While he did this, he had to file his request to speak to an inquisitor, the situation, and more. He was glad his mom had made sure he got his letters because he knew three guards who would have been hopeless trying to fill out the logically made document, but he had it soon enough and submitted it to the receptionist who even smiled at him.

Then? He waited.

And waited.

He waited some more, and then he had a piss in a restroom facility they had. It even had running water!

Then he waited some more.

About the time he was on the verge of falling asleep in his wooden chair, something happened.

“You may now speak with the Inquisitor,” the receptionist informed him. “Thank you for knowing to stay in the lines. You would not believe how many—”

Nolan held up a hand. “I get it. Not many even know their letters. But need to make my report.”

With that, he bid her goodbye and finally entered the Grand Inquisitor’s office.

It was rather sparsely decorated. Cold, and efficient save for the single cat tree inexplicably set up in a corner of the room, and a few trophies for “cutest cat” set up around the room.

The cat, however, was nowhere to be found.

“Well hello there,” the woman in front of him said, grinning at him as he entered. “Take a seat and tell me how my late cat’s kittens are doing before we begin.”

“Fine. Spot, Fluffles, and General Oblivion the Conqueror of the Basement Rats are doing just fine in the Guard headquarters, terrorizing new recruits as they wish,” he said casually. Internally, he was thinking.

She meant more than just that. The cats were sometimes thought to be her eyes in the city. He’d never gotten direct confirmation of that, but if true, was she letting him know she’d seen the beastkin spy? If so, that would make things a lot easier.

“Good,” she smiled. “Now, tell me about the beastkin you encountered. You said you believed she was a spy?”

“I have no doubt she was a spy,” Nolan said. “Saw her trying to blend into the crowd, but I spent time on the front lines against the tribes. Some look human, but always have a tell. For her, it was the odd proportions on her cloak’s hood. Learned to keep an eye out for that, after a catkin managed to fool his way into camp and shanked our armorer.”

“After that, I don’t have much else I can say. Saw her exiting the spider’s bookshop, confronted her, she kicked me halfway down the damn street like a fucking minotaur, and then ran straight up the walls and out. Reporting to you because the Guard Captain dismissed me, said I was ‘stressed’ or ‘drunk’,” Nolan snarled. “I know what I saw. May not be good for the army anymore, but that was definitely a beastkin and she sure didn’t want me knowing who she was. Even tried to act like I was sexually harassing her to distract from her damn ears.”

The Inquisitor looked at him with a flat stare. “Well, you certainly came to the proper place, at least,” the Grand Inquisitor stated bluntly. “For matters of internal security and bureaucracy, as well as counter spy and terrorism matters, come to me first next time, Cousin. Now, I shall take up the mantle of Karl and go investigate myself.”

Nolan blinked, trying to piece together what she was saying. He didn’t have any familial relationship to her. If he did, he’d probably be living it up in the Tower waving his hands to summon hunky men to wait on him hand and foot in their smallclothes. So that left implications.

Were they connected? Well, only vaguely. Beyond his current situation, he worked in the Guard, and she worked in the Inquisition. They overlapped, but one was clearly above the other.

And his leg still fucking hurt.

Nolan decided he was done thinking. “Well, glad to hear you’re on it,” he said, shaking his head. “Fucking Guard Captain was useless, so will be coming to you next time.”

He paused, a thought coming over him. He really liked what he’d seen so far. A clean building, literate workers, and efficiency defined the Inquisitors. So, he had to ask.

“You wouldn’t happen to be recruiting, would you?” he tried. His old coworkers could go fuck themselves if they wanted to be so damn blind to the world.

“If you can fill out a standard application form, there are a few lower-ranked paperwork jobs that may be filled,” she nodded. “The office clergy always need the help, they’re so extremely overworked, so literate people like yourself are actually a Karlsend.”

“I’ll take it,” Nolan said, reaching out to shake Inquisitor Karl’s hand.

Maybe the day wasn’t so bad after all.

~~~~

Of course, once she consigned a poor and unfortunate soul to the hells of bureaucracy, Karl was quite satisfied with her successful recruitment. It wasn’t often a man was so willing to walk into that hell with a smile, and she was quite happy to send in a fresh recruit to help her ladies.

Well, it was certainly time to get to work.

She put on her aptly-named trench-coat, stowed away her hidden blades and repeating crossbow, along with her custom Karl-staff and Karl-wand, before putting on her Inquisitor hat and making her way out of the office.

It was mid-afternoon, so she still had plenty of charge in her wand and staff, and with the standard breathing necklace in place, she was likely unstoppable by all but the most powerful of mages. Even the Lords of the Mage’s Tower would have trouble with her, if they couldn’t pierce her trench-coat, woven throughout with runes of protection and obscurity.

Still, when she arrived at the Bookshop she had heard much about, she stopped to pet the cat that led her there, before heading in with a grin. Because nothing could stop Karl from investigating a potential disturbance, thus, nothing could stop her from doing the same.

She entered the bookshop, labelled Adriana’s Magical Bookshop and Library, before using a lightly enchanted magical device to check if the shop truly was magical in any way. Surely, if there was active magic going on within, it would light up green up the side her fancy pen to give her an accurate measure, one she had commissioned for her expressly for this purpose.

It didn’t light up, which made sense, as the shop couldn’t have active magical effects if it wasn’t close to the Mages Tower districts and the leylines—

She looked around her, and saw magical lanterns, perfectly floating in the air, suspended by magical runes that leaked no excess mana, and the bookshelves stacked impossibly high, the spatial folding making it so that they could be stretched indefinitely until the end of time.

How the inside of the shop held more space, more seating and even a few smaller shops for food and beverage inside, people reading books and laughing while a band of magical musical instruments played soft music slowly. Hells, even a group of accountants from her very own institution were giggling over a series of books, discussing who might be the fluffier one between this Sayuri and this Sumire, and which one would be better to follow.

Such heresy! But she wasn’t done yet.

Because even if she didn’t like the fact that they were speaking of unknown beings and worship of them, there was no harm in such, as long as it had no effect on their work, and it did not compromise security. She would have them interrogated yes, but she would do so gently, so as to not spark off yet another war without just cause.

Karl knew she already had enough to deal with over the last petty war the so-called Great King had started by insulting the beasts in the first place. Would it have killed him to simply wait for a proper diplomat, one trained in the ways of the arcane to speak on his behalf?

Still, she made her way over to the counter, where a Drider woman was sorting through an interesting set of copies of some books titled “The Way” and their variations.

Karl stopped in front of it, and rung the bell, bringing attention to herself.

“Oh! Hello there!” the Drider, Adriana if her files were correct, said. “And what brings you here?”

“Official Inquisitorial Business,” Karl stated bluntly.

“Oh,” Adriana looked a little worried. “Did I do something wrong?”

“That’s what I’m here to find out,” Karl retorted.

After a moment, the Inquisitor nodded. “I can see that this is indeed a truly magical bookshop…” she stated. “Tell me… By whose authority did you build, license, and practice such magics in order to sell your books?”

“Lord Ernst von Hammerstein,” Adriana explained. “He said it would be good for the people to learn their letters and math, and for us to have a safe space where people with the talents to become mages could be found, trained, and drafted into the armies when the time came to defend the nation.”

“…Do you have proof of this?” Karl asked, only for Adriana to tap the literal framed seal and document of approval that was set on one wall near the desk.

The Inquisitor read over it with a fine toothed comb, and inspected it with many magical tools, even going so far as to ask for a copy. Adriana was more than happy to oblige on all accounts, showing that she was truly entirely above board.

Even if she had no true magic of her own, she was able to use the tools just fine, and was competent in them. Which was apparently, according to Adriana, all that was needed for her to potentially cast some smaller spells of her own, and grow her own magical potential.

Which, she supposed, was why some of her people could not use all of the magical tools provided, while she could. Surprising, really, but she couldn’t accept bribes of magical books to go away, so it would have to wait until the investigation was over.

“I assume, if I go speak with him now, he will be willing to vouch for you?” she asked Adriana with a raised eyebrow.

“Yup. But seriously, you should pick up a book or two once this is all over, it’s useful knowledge to have,” Adriana reiterated.

“I will consider it, when I can prove that it was not a bribe,” Karl sighed. “Internal Politics and Optics and all.”

“Understood,” Adriana smiled. “Well, if you can pass on a message for me, please tell Lord Hammerstein that the Farmer I spoke with before is doing much better, and his fields are ready to plant whatever may be needed most for the kingdom.”

“…I’ll see what I can do,” Karl stated, noting that down for reference later in her mind. “Though it’s probably best if you tell him the details yourself next time you see him, from what I remember of him. He would appreciate such much more than second hand knowledge.”

With that, Karl smirked, and left.

She had one more stop to make before her day was done, and then she could make her report and be home for dinner. Her kitties needed her, after all.

~~~~

AN:

HiddenMaster: I have done something horrible in this fic. I have subjected a man to bureaucratic Hell.

What’s worse? I have not only done that, but I also sent Hell a new demon for he will be perfectly adapted to such an environment.

Tremble, for I have created a monster whose weapons are ink and paper, parchment and quill.

Sonata: Spooder in trouble! But it seems everything is legal. Still Karl probably getting a brain aneurysm while inspecting Spooders bookshop. Now to hope nobody takes offense on this Spooder in her bookshop.

BookDragon: I will not lie, I was resisting making ‘are you sure’ jokes every time Nolan was on screen. I’ve unfortunately got Invincible brainrot! But, ye! This chapter was fun to plan out and such. It was gonna be longer, but we moved that section to next chapter ‘cause this chapter felt like it stood well on its own!

Kitsu: Foxxo wrote and wrote and wrote and got into a bit of a zone for a bit the second time, as Inquisitor Karl is indeed, the Cat Lady Dwarf in a Trenchcoat you think she is. And she does indeed normally wear a Fedora.

Was fun, good shit.

Links!

Kitsu’s Foxxo Shrine: https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

BookDragon’s Den: https://dragongrimoire.carrd.co/

HiddenMaster’s archive: https://hiddenmasterarchive.carrd.co/