I, a Heroic Soldier from the Last Demon War, Became a Father to a Pair of Demonic Beast Children.

Am I Really Fit to be a Dad to These Adorable Kids?

01: A Tail as Old as Time.

Wizard Tim had a problem and it was the duo of fucking morons in his office.

“Kindly repeat that?” he asked. Perhaps the nobles here to ‘convince’ him about the dragon’s sword hanging over the kingdom had misspoke, or he had an ear gremlin troubling his hearing.

“We should strike while the iron is hot!” the noble claimed. “He is asleep in the barracks. If we just flood it with poison and keep a sleep and suppression spell from your grand wizardlyness on the fool, he will surely no longer be a threat to our nation!”

“Last demon lord tried that. Twice. What are you going to do when he survives and comes for literally everyone who ordered it afterward? Hint, you can’t really blame the demons when they’re gone and the last demon lord was literally smashed into paste. You do remember that, right? How he blocked Adam with a supposedly impenetrable shield and Adam just roared louder until the shield broke, and then he was smashed into a pancake? I saw his lungs and organs go flying. Quite gruesome,” Wizard Tim said, while internally indulging in a fantasy of casting a nice simple fireball on the idiots in front of him.

“This is an outrage!” another noble tried to puff himself up. “He is in league with the terrorist who walks these halls, we should—”

The Archduke walked out, tapping his cane loudly to silence the idiots with a sigh. “My brother, King Lu Balgov, has sent me to ask what you propose as a way to quietly shuffle off our hero to a place where the other nations will not have to fear him. I assume that you have some sort of plan already, that won’t end up with our nation being lost to the history books?”

Wizard Tim wanted to throw the two idiots out and knock back a drink with Archduke because he was the only sane noble here. Unlike the two nobles beside the archduke, Archduke Ferdinand actually fought and survived in the Demon War. The other two? Fourth or fifth sons who’d spent their time whoring and gambling away on the periphery and only got their positions because literally everyone else in line for their houses died.

The worst part? Fourth or fifth sons or daughters was typical. House Gregory had a twelfth son. A. Twelfth. Son.

The Balgovia kingdom may have won the demon war but they broke every bone in their arm doing it.

Outwardly, however, Wizard Tim remained calm and composed. “The plan I’ve come up with is simple yet straight forward and should satisfy everyone. We’ll grant him a minor title so he is a noble even if a low ranked one, and grant him a barony on the northern edge of the kingdom bordering the Demon Lands at Death Mountain. That way he gets a ‘reward’ for his service, is sent out of range of the capital if he decides to go berserk, stays out of noble politics while also being available if some elder dragon goes on a rampage or we need him again, and we finally get someone to deal with that cursed mountain that won’t fucking die burning or screaming and waste yet more lives. Who knows, he might actually be successful meaning we might finally get a use out of it rather than yet another failed colony in a long line of failed colonies.”

There. Wizard Tim had laid out his plan to handle Adam. Because, frankly, it was the only one Tim saw as remotely viable. Adam was a freak of nature, someone so strong even dragons rightfully feared him, someone who killed the other freak of nature, the demon lord, who’d ransacked the kingdom for the past decade.

And a notable minor but excessively loud faction wanted to kill Adam and praise him as a martyr. Never mind that would fail, spectacularly, and create a one man army after them, but some people couldn’t bear the thought of someone they couldn’t control.

The only other option Tim had come up with was setting a trap for Adam and taking the field himself with his own mastery of magic. Tim put his odds at 50% in the most optimal situation. The wizard really didn’t like this because A, he thought Adam deserved a good rest for saving the kingdom and not a knife in the back, and B, Wizard Tim really liked living and hadn’t studied enough magic yet. Plus, even if he was successful, Tim was confident he would have to reveal enough of his magical prowess and likely call down god damn meteor to end Adam that the nobles would turn on him next for being too scawy.

“Very well,” the Archduke nodded. “It will save me from having to send in yet another failed expedition to clear out the Lamia and Kitsune nests in the area, when they attempt to kidnap more of my men from the neigboring farms. Truly, their wives and children weep for their fathers.”

The way he smirked suggested he knew exactly what had actually been happening to the men, and that they probably were still just fine.

“Indeed. If that is all, my lords, then I would like to prepare for my meeting with Adam so he actually knows where we are sending him and he can stop twiddling his thumbs in the barracks doing nothing but eating the kingdom out of house and home,” Wizard Tim said, only barely stopping himself from saying, ‘and fingering his ass’ because noble sensibilities were a fucking pain.

Gods, Tim wished he was back in his tower studying magic. The things he did for a pristine magical nexus.

The nobles at this point left with a knowing look from the archduke while the two minor nobles glared. They were going to be a pain.

Tim briefly contemplated hard lemonade after they left before he went straight for the whiskey. He was not nearly drunk enough after dealing with that.

~~~~

Adam adjusted his armored uniform, ensured his mace was shining and clean, and finished combing his hair. With that, he was ready to report to the archwizard for his next assignment.

It had been a bit odd without another battle to go to. Adam understood it, intellectually. The war was over, treaties signed, armies disbanded.

But in a pragmatic sense, Adam kept expecting to be deployed, to have another fight, another burned village to avenge, or great monster to slay. But ever since he killed the Demon lord and King Balgov routed the remaining forces, there’d just been nothing to do but train, eat, sleep, and nothing more.

The royal guards stared at Adam with some awe as he passed, but none approached or stopped him. They all knew his name. He even recognized a few. That youth, for instance, had been set to be disemboweled by a particularly ferocious chimera. Sergeant Morrison, or something.

He entered Wizard Tim’s office, and Adam felt some… relief.

Finally, he would have orders from the one man who didn’t see him with awe or fear.

“Welcome, I’m tired and need a fucking drink or six. Adam, long story short? You’ve been lorded,” Wizard Tim said, throwing a very fancy title worth more than many villages at Adam before he could even sit down.

“You are now Baron Adam of Death Mountain and the surrounding 50 smiles. That’s your barony, see the map. Your orders are simple. Clear it out, set up your homestead for your manor and mark out places for an eventual settlement. We’ll send builders and your first settlers so you actually have subjects in two months time. Is that understood?”

Adam nodded firmly. The title was… unexpected, and he didn’t know what to think about how his social position changed, but the rest? Orders, a concrete goal. It was glorious.

“Very well. I will set out immediately,” Adam said, turning.

“Wait!” Wizard Tim said. “Go get at least a horse and travel supplies to set up a long term camp, you maniac.”

Adam paused. “Right. I will do that. Is there anything else?”

“No,” Wizard Tim sighed. “Not many have said this, but Adam? Thank you for the service. I would do more for you if I could.”

Adam blinked, feeling off-centered from the praise. Wizard Tim wasn’t supposed to do that, he was supposed to be a cranky wizard providing magical support or advice on attacking a demonic stronghold. Not… praise.

“Thank you,” he said, awkwardly, before leaving quickly.

Adam quickened his strides to the armory and requisitions officer. It was time for his next mission.

~~~~

AN:

HiddenMaster: Behold, a new fic, new timeline, and… not quite new world. Technically shares a setting with Adriana’s Magical Bookshop.

But yeah, I am real eager to get started with this fic as it’s a fun premise, fun characters, and lots to do and mess with.

Now, would Lu, our commissioner, care to comment on their thoughts?

Lu: Had been sitting on this story idea for about a year now ever since the first art I had commissioned for the heck of it. Was really spur of the moment to hire Kitsune and Hidden to write this. I don't have much planned for it but that means we don't have to be too serious about the plot. This is mainly slice of life but who knows how this will evolve over time. Hope it stays engaging for you all.

Kitsu: Yus. The Foxxo was originally commed for this by Lu after talking on a server we’re on, and he was willing to help me out a bit because I couldn’t afford a birthday cake on my birthday, and then I had him consider bringing in HiddenMaster, who was basically the perfect choice to work on this fic with me in my opinion, and he was willing to see where it went.

That was genuinely awesome, and very much appreciated, and means we had a really cool story with a fun dynamic that we can work on together soon again.

Well, once Hidden is back from Vacation.

For now, Links!

Kitsu’s Foxxo Shrine: https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/

HiddenMaster’s Archive: https://hiddenmasterarchive.carrd.co/