Lady Kitsune’s Fox Garden

05: So here’s the thing called a System and Holy Shit Beef is Delicious

Reo Asato, one failed university student and employee of Sakura Ranch under Takahasi Mori ever since he’d partied too hard with the headmaster and headmaster’s wife took it out on him. For once didn’t have to pamper a bunch of cows, shovel their droppings, or otherwise do the expected work of a farmhand.

It suited him just fine, frankly. He looked way better in a suit anyway.

His new job?

“Whatever the flying fuck the fox wants she gets, you hear me?” the ranch owner had told him. Evidently, a kitsune of all things had settled nearby and her name was Niwashi.

Learning yokai was a thing was a surprise, but it didn’t shock him. Nothing had shocked him since he’d walked in on his parents banging when he was five. After that, everything felt mundane.

His response to the supernatural’s confirmation and existence? “Eh, sure thing boss, just tell me where you need me to be.”

Takahashi had been surprised at his casual acceptance, but well, you stop being surprised by anything after being emotionally scarred as a five year old by seeing your mom in a full nelson. That did shit to you, man.

Right now, he was busy leaning against a tree, waiting for the kitsune of the realm to show up. He thought piling even more shit on the roots and full blown coming out of the old shrine was a bit disrespectful, but he’d been overruled. Clearly the demigoddess liked it because look how vibrant her tree was, and they better keep it practically swimming in the stuff, or so their thoughts went.

He wasn’t even sure all of it was cow shit at this point. Good thing he’d killed his sense of smell years ago with a dunk in a hot sauce vat.

Suddenly, the old shrine lit up. A gateway opened, fortunately above the pile of manure, and a beautiful, nine fox tailed woman with reddish gold hair stepped out onto the root platform.

“Yo!” he said, waving to get the presumed kitsune’s attention.

“Ah!” the kitsune flinched back like she was startled for a moment, before looking at him more seriously. “Oh! It’s a human…”

Her stomach growled loudly. “Um… I apologize, but I was told there might be food? Something called beef… Never had beef before, is it any good?”

As she spoke, she cautiously approached, like she was wary of any tricks and not used to humans in the slightest. What kind of life had this nine-tailed beauty been living for so long?

And she was gorgeous, even if she was waaay thicker in the hips and chest department than he was thinking she’d be. She looked like a proper farmer girl with big breasts, but a thousand times more beautiful and, well, a kitsune.

“Well well little lady, let me tell you you’ve come to the right place to rectify that error in your life. No beef no life, as they say,” he said, making up the saying on the spot and hoping she spread it further. “Come on, I’ll take you to the dining hall so one of the chefs can prepare some Wagyu steaks for you. Shouldn’t be too busy this time of day.”

With that, he led her on a fairly direct route to the dining hall. Most of the time, they just ate fried rice or noodles there, but once in a while it served actual beef there to big shot guests coming out to tour the ranch. Not like the employees ever got that much of it, but such was life.

Rich got richer while the poor made due.

“Over on our left, you can see our herd. Half of us have to go about making sure they’re blissed out of their minds and that involves routine brushies and pets,” he said, making small chit chat as he pointed out the cows making up the herd.

“Hmmmm,” the Kitsune hummed, tails wiggling the moment he mentioned brushies and pets, watching the herd for a while as she followed him.

Was it just him, or did she let her tails wander towards him a little more when he mentioned it? That was definitely interesting. He’d have to test that out.

They went into the dining hall, a long building with many basic tables and chairs. “Yo, Chef-Man, get us a few Wagyu steaks, thick ones, would ya?”

“Reno, I swear to God if you’re here for another handout when—” a man in a chef uniform stepped out of the far doors, only to stiffen up when he saw Niwashi. “Ah, of course, right away floofy one,” he said, bowing before hurrying back into the kitchen.

“Normally they don’t serve this time of day, but you’re a VIP and so you get the luxury treatment. What say we chat to pass the time, and get to know each other a bit? I’m Reno Asato, and this is a brushie,” he said, suddenly and without warning, pressing a brush he had onto the table between them as he sat down.

Her ears perked up, her eyes locking onto the brush as her tails began to wag more excitedly. “Myyyrp?” she chirped, purring hard enough that her words were unintelligible, even in the vaunted fox-speech.

“Huh, did not expect this to hit that hard. Oh well, I was never one for restraint,” he spoke with a shrug before he brought the brush out and applied it directly to the fox’s closest tail.

The effect was immediate.

“Hehehehehe,” the fox giggled, her tails wrapping around him and making it hard to brush them as they competed for his attention, while the poor fox seemed to enjoy what was likely the first positive interaction with a human she’d ever had.

Her purring rumbled through the room, and she looked at him expectantly, like she was hoping he’d somehow manage to make her tails all magically floofier with his brushing. And somehow, despite them doing their best to smother him in fur, he actually managed quite well.

If he happened to grope her a few times as well… Well, she didn’t seem to mind.

This would have continued for some time if the food hadn’t come out. The head chef brought out a freshly cooked Wagyu steak, already pre-sliced and ready to eat.

For Reno, he brought a…

Noodle cup.

"Hey now, what gives?” Reno complained.

“She gets the good food. You’re a freeloader, so you get what I care to make,” the chef spat and walked back into the kitchen.

“Ah, worker rivalries,” Niwashi smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll make some good wine for you later when my grapes grow, and we can style on him then.”

Finally. she picked up a piece of steak with her fingers and sniffed it, before putting it in her mouth with wide eyes. And as she chewed, she began to cry.

“This is the best thing I have ever tasted!” she laughed, swallowing it, and devouring the rest of the food in moments. “Is there any more? Such wonderful food like this… I wonder what else these lands have in store~”

Reno laughed. “Trust me, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Beef’s good, but it’s the tip of the iceberg. You’ve got a whole world to see, Lady.”

~~~~

When Niwashi finished her meal, she was still hungry. But she didn’t want to impose, so she went back to her new home after a good brushing that left her feeling amazing~

Of course, it was barely into her introspection and internal thoughts about the new and wondrous sensations she had discovered that she never knew a mouth could feel, that she walked into her shrine grounds and saw Sumire standing at what appeared to be an electrical box, plugging in strange wires and flipping switches as the new string of lights in her home lit up with a dull glow.

“Niwashi! Good news, your shrine now has electricity and internet access to the outside world!” Sumire said happily, rearing back and chugging more of her super vodka. “That’s the good EEEEEEEVIL shit.”

Sumire patted the the table. “Come, check it out, I got your system interface set up!”

Niwashi padded over curiously, her ears perked up and her nose twitching as she tried to sniff out what it was Sumire had even done. She was unsuccessful, of course, but it was worth an attempt.

“I gave you a commodore 64 that runs on modern Linux! Tried to get the original file and software, but that was a bitch and a half to manage. Using this you can access the system to manage your realm, your inventory, employees, finances, more! Used to just have a big old magical book, but that was unwieldy so I got with the times,” Sumire said, giving Niwashi finger guns as she did so.

“Is this world really so ar behind?” Niwashi gaped as she looked at the old junker sitting on a table and whirring ominously. “In my time, we would have had neural-interfaces, or at the very least, haptic holographic displays!”

Sumire flicked her on the forehead. “I made this thing ultra durable, so you’d have to use [Reality Slash] or [World Break] to fuck it up. Besides, it’s your world just the past. You lot really went from having no electronics to speak of to having virtual reality in less than 200 years with three world wars. Some civs take five times that length of time.”

“Huh,” Niwashi muttered, her ears folding back as she sat and listened.

“But yeah, should be intuitive enough, and I know you had Linux in your time, so yeah! Play with it, check out the catalogue to see what you can purchase, your fox coins in the bank, what improvements are available, what is locked or needs to be found, employees, and more! Just poke it. Also be sure to pay your taxes to Miss Manager, the foxxo or else the Thin Man from the CRS will come for you!” Sumire said.

She leaned in close to Niwashi to stare in her eyes. “You really don’t want that. Trust me,” she said, voice completely clear and free of any inebriation.

“Okay, that’s about all,” Sumire said, suddenly cheerful. “Deliveries happen on the fox pad I installed out front, and clock is ticking! You have a decade to World War III and I have to pull you out before you get crispy. Bye~” Sumire sang as she drunkenly walked away, taking another swig.

“Well that wasn’t ominous at all,” Niwashi commented dryly, sitting down at the wooden stool in front of the computer. “Fuck it, time to get to work.”

~~~~

AN:

HiddenMaster: And boom, shit is getting serious now. Trying to have a bit of tension here with the reveals now that the carefree intro is over.

Poor Niwashi.

Also holy shit we are tired.

Kitsu: Eepy foxxo noises.

Also, the foxxo has hired on an Ultramarine buddy of ours known as Commander or Moonlight Lamenter on discord to make a system for this fic for us, so that’s going to be beyond insane when it’s set up.

Not kidding about calling him an Ultramarine btw, bro makes spreadsheets for fun, so we’re gonna add to his pizza fund so he can eat good while he crunches out a really solid system for the fic here to keep track of the minutia.

Stuff like prices, diminishing returns, purification rates, alliances and factions will all be discussed, and all of it will be laid out in a way that allows us to realistically balance and keep the factions from going off the rails due to lack of resources, which is canonically what World War 3 is called in Overlord: The Resource Wars.

By keeping food cheap, and helping create natural alternatives to a lot of products, as well as methods of recycling, she will actually save the world bit by bit.

Indeed, stay tuned to find out how we pull this off, with numbers you can actually crunch to track our progress.

HiddenMaster: Indeed, big plans in motion.

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