Chapter 113: 4-1

It was past five in the morning when Mrs. Weasley arrived at Grimmauld Place. The tension finally drained from the children, who hadn't slept a wink, and everyone slumped exhaustedly onto the floor. After hugging each of them one by one, Mrs. Weasley went to prepare breakfast. Harry sat in an awkward silence. He was convinced that he was the one who had attacked Mr. Weasley. When he gets like this, Harry—or rather, I—won't listen to anyone. For now, all we could do was watch him carefully.

In the afternoon, we followed the Weasley family to St. Mungo's to visit Mr. Weasley. And it was there—that Harry ended up hearing it. The adults' conversation.

"If You-Know-Who is possessing Potter—"

After that, Harry fled and locked himself in his room. The children who knew the situation initially decided to leave him be and watch over him from a distance, but gradually, neither side could hide their frustration.

"What on earth is going on with Harry? He won't let anyone but Maria into his room!"

"He just needs time to sort out his thoughts."

"None of us would ever think that Harry would turn evil like You-Know-Who!"

While calming down a fuming Ginny, I met eyes with Hermione, who had skipped her family's skiing trip to come to Order Headquarters. Hermione gave a reassuring nod.

"I'll go drag him out. Maria, stay here. He can't keep depending solely on you forever."

"I'm going too. Acting as if we're all his enemies—it's an insult! We'll make him understand just how much we care about him."

Watching the backs of the two girls storming upstairs with flared nostrils, the remaining boys—including me, Maria—froze with rather conflicted expressions. ...My best friend and my (Harry's) wife are absolutely, fascinatingly strong-willed people.

A few hours later, true to their word, the two girls hauled Harry downstairs. Everyone welcomed him. Mrs. Weasley, her plump cheeks beaming, continuously piled dinner onto Harry's plate. Harry looked troubled but seemed to have calmed down.

Tomorrow was Christmas. Everyone wished for this peaceful time to continue. Surely, even Harry himself did. However—the fuse is always lit in places even the person themselves cannot control; that is why puberty is so unmanageable.

"Now that Hermione is here too, I think it's time for a little lecture. —I assume all of you are participating? In that secret 'defence group'."

At the table after dinner, having finished even dessert, the children's shoulders jumped in surprise. It was Sirius who broached the subject, but Mrs. Weasley settled back into her usual seat with a stiff expression, as if she already knew.

"How did you know about that?"

"You probably thought you were outsmarting everyone, but using the Hog's Head as a meeting place was a bad idea, Hermione. Shady places attract shady people."

""Who was there?""

"One of your usual patrons."

Mrs. Weasley scowled in displeasure at her twin sons, whose faces showed they had instantly figured it out. Being looked at like that inevitably made us feel like we were being scolded. —In fact, we were being scolded. By Sirius, of all people.

"...Are you against it, Sirius?"

"Of course I am. Maria, do you not remember what I told you before the new term started? I explicitly told you not to do anything reckless, didn't I? Or what, does this not fall under the category of 'reckless' for you brilliant students?"

"Wait, Sirius. Don't blame Maria. It was my idea."

"Even so, Harry aside, Maria—you should have stopped them."

A heavy silence fell over the dining table. The Weasley children nervously glanced at their mother, and Hermione looked anxiously at us Potter siblings. And Sirius was staring solely at me.

I was confused. The Sirius I knew had rejoiced at our independent defence training and backed us up. My Hermione had criticized him for it, saying, "He's trying to live through us because he can't act freely himself," but the I of that time was desperate, yearning for the Sirius who validated me and defending him unconditionally. But—now I understand. Because things can change this much.

Even though Sirius was Sirius, he felt like a stranger wearing his face. I didn't want to harbor such feelings toward the man acting as our surrogate parent, but the discrepancy with my memories sent a chill down my spine. Which one—was the real Sirius?

"I agree with him. You can get all the training you need after you graduate, so please, just keep your heads down for now."

"But, Mum!"

"No 'buts' about it! With your father in such a terrible state, don't give me even more to worry about. Ron, you're a Prefect; what are you doing if you can't even set an example for your little sister?"

Mrs. Weasley's follow-up completely sealed off the children's counterarguments. After all, they were children. They were still students in a position to learn from adults. That was exactly why—there was no way I was going to stay silent.

"I won't yield on this. I won't back down for anyone. We are absolutely not quitting the D.A."

"Maria."

"After we graduate? —There's no guarantee we'll even survive until graduation."

The battlefield doesn't choose its location. The enemy isn't going to politely stroll in at a designated time and place. It might be someone's house. It might be a shop somewhere. In a forest, in a city—the school itself might become the stage. As if ridiculous pleas like 'spare us because we're children' or 'wait until we grow up' would ever work against an overwhelming threat.

Even if this body belongs to a Maria who has known no bloodshed, I will never forget the robes of all four houses that became casualties of the Great War. We must not forget that there were those who didn't get to choose it themselves like I did, or like Fred and George—those who never got to graduate.

—I will never forget Cedric Diggory.

"Maria, why are you in such a hurry to risk your life? Rely on the adults more. You're only fifteen."

"He's right. Maria, Harry... everyone is just worried about you. Please, just listen to reason this time—"

Before I could open my mouth, everything was drowned out by a loud noise from beside me. It was the sound of Harry standing up. Both of his hands were slammed onto the table.

"—I've had enough."

"...Harry?"

"Rely on the adults? You're full of secrets! I know. I know what you in the Order are so wary of. You're monitoring me, you're scared of me! Scared that I might turn out like Him!"

"Harry, what on earth are you talking about..."

"I said I've had enough! You're just strangers—stop acting like my parents!!"

Harry dashed out of the dining room. I moved before I even thought. I chased after him faster than anyone else. I saw Harry's back dive not into his own room, but into another.

It was a tidy room. It had been meticulously cleaned without gathering a single speck of dust even after its owner was gone, which only stripped it further of any lived-in feel—a room where time had stopped. —It was Regulus Black's bedroom.

Though Grimmauld Place had undergone major renovations over the year with Professor Lupin's help, I knew that Sirius hadn't been able to bring himself to touch any of his former family members' private rooms. Harry had probably noticed too, even if he didn't know the connection to the room's owner. He knew there were a few rooms the master of the house couldn't touch. That was why he had fled here.

"Harry."

"It's my fault. I know. I know."

"Yeah. —I know that you know."

I crouched down and nestled close to Harry, who was curled up on the floor.

"Maria. Please, just you, stay by my side. No matter what."

"Of course. But why? Are you forgiving me?"

By the time we pulled the barricaded Harry out of his room, his heart must have thawed to some extent. The I of the past wasn't a child who held strong suspicions even against long-time friends.

Harry answered quietly.

"Because if it's you, Maria, you'll definitely stop me, no matter what happens."

"────"

"Ron and Hermione would hesitate. They're kind, so they definitely wouldn't be able to point their wands at a friend in the spur of the moment. But—Maria, you're different, right?"

"...Harry."

"You would point your wand at me without hesitation. ...So, promise me you'll stay by my side. Before it's too late."

I couldn't say anything. It wasn't that he doubted the love of those around him. —He just purely couldn't trust himself. And the one who understood Harry's fragile parts better than anyone else was me. Perhaps even better than Harry himself. There was no way my words could reach him. My encouragement, coming from someone who knew his—Harry's—weakness, couldn't possibly be a source of strength for him.

I, who knew the I that was Harry, was the one who believed in Harry's strength the least.

As if to express my hesitation, I slowly reached my hand out to Harry. Harry willingly threw himself into my arms.

"Because you're the one who holds me without a second thought, even though I have this creepy connection with Voldemort, I can trust you. I want to entrust this to you, Maria."

"...Yeah. I won't let you down."

The warmth in my arms was so endearing, yet somehow felt hateful too, and I bit my lip hard.

As long as you wish for it—I will be your—no, my—greatest ally in this world.

Christmas Day. Watching the children immediately begin the ritual of tearing into the mountain of presents in front of them, I cast a sidelong glance at Sirius, who was looking on just as fondly. The living room, decorated the day before, was filled with Christmas colors that made any visitor's heart leap. (I couldn't help but feel that red was particularly prominent.) Sirius was the one who had done most of the preparation. Seeing him humming while putting up decorations was exactly as it was in my memories, which made me feel just a little bit relieved.

Mingling with the children, I unwrapped the presents addressed to me. Hermione's homework planner, a fanged wallet from Hagrid, an eccentric choker that sang Christmas carols from Tonks, and an assortment of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from Ron to match Harry's. Then, my hands stopped at the gift from Sirius. —It was a book on Defence Against the Dark Arts. I instinctively looked up at Sirius.

"I can't approve, but I also knew you lot probably wouldn't listen. ...You are James and Lily's kids, after all. Those two were stubborn to the core."

"You're thoroughbreds, after all."

Professor Lupin narrowed his eyes mischievously. Harry and I looked at each other blankly, clutching our books. As I stared into his green eyes, a delayed wave of joy slowly spread through my entire body.

""—Sirius, thank you!""

The two of us ran up to him. Sirius opened his arms wide and caught us.

"Sirius—I... about yesterday—I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. Your words were right. I was—well. I was getting a bit too carried away. I, of all people, thought I knew exactly how annoying it is to have someone nagging at you."

"I heard about what happened yesterday this morning, but compared to Sirius, who was in a permanent rebellious phase, Harry's rebellion is rather cute. This guy ended up running away from home altogether. And he stuck to your father's house like glue."

"I got my own place at seventeen!"

"You say that, but you practically lived there every holiday. Have you finally realized how it feels when children don't appreciate their parents' concern?"

"By my standards, I wouldn't call that a parent."

"See? Look at that. You have a great example right here."

We giggled at Professor Lupin playfully teasing Sirius. Eventually, Professor Lupin lowered his voice and turned to Harry.

"But, Harry. I want you to never doubt that we are worried about you. You might have a lot of frustrations—but it's because everyone loves you."

"...Yes, Professor Lupin."

Harry nodded, while holding my hand with one of his, as if to hide it.

"And—oh, right. Let me tell you another funny story. That present was actually thrown together quite haphazardly."

"Hey, Remus!"

"Sirius came crying to me. You see—Maria, he said he had absolutely no idea what to give you."

Exposed, Sirius groaned and hung his head. He looked so much like a dejected dog that I burst out laughing.

"I bet if it were Hermione or Ginny, he wouldn't have struggled this much."

"What do you mean?"

"It means that even a veteran ladies' man is no match for you. After all, there was that whole incident with the closet."

"Moony..."

I stared off into the distance as I remembered the contents of the closet, which had become a door better left unopened since the first day of summer holidays. In other words, he was saying that this selection was made because I'm not very girly. Professor Lupin, that is.

Even with his best friend glaring at him reproachfully, Professor Lupin completely ignored it. It was a very easy-to-understand picture of their power dynamic.

"So you should be a little more selfish. Go ahead and give your surrogate parent endless trouble. Because he finds nothing more enjoyable than that. Demanding another present altogether is also an option."

My head was gently patted along with Harry's. It tickled, and I felt somewhat apologetic.

"This is plenty."

I was filled with contentment from the bottom of my heart. To love Maria Potter—someone who was suspicious in a completely different way from Harry—this much. How rare and precious that was. Wishing for anything more than this────Ah.

Suddenly, a perfect, lonely, soundless room came to mind.

"—Sirius. Would you really listen to a request from me?"

I looked up at the bewildered faces of the two adults. If I was going to bring up him—now was the only time.

Sirius smiled, showing his teeth in a childlike way. I had a premonition that the time that had stood still was about to start moving again.