Chapter 109: 2-3

The next day, Harry was called in for detention. It seemed there was some further trouble there, as his detentions were now extended until the weekend. And this despite the Gryffindor Quidditch team's Keeper tryouts being on Friday... This time for sure, I have to go watch Ron's tryouts. Even though I'm not Harry.

"Harry! I told you to be careful!"

Hermione scolded Harry shrilly. Harry looked completely fed up. Harry was being Harry, but Hermione's overbearing approach was exactly why her words weren't reaching him. It's so obvious when looking at it objectively.

"I know! Give me a break already. My head is killing me. Can't you talk about something other than lecturing me for once?"

"You're the one making me lecture you! I really can't stay quiet about this. I'm reporting this to Professor McGonagall."

"No!"

Almost as if trying to grab her, Harry stopped the angry girl.

"I'm not a snitch."

"It's not snitching. It's a legitimate protest."

"Absolutely not. If I do that, she'll just get more smug. She's the last person I want to lose to."

"When did this become about winning or losing? Listen to me, this isn't just your problem..."

"It's between me and her. It has nothing to do with you. I'm sick of your meddling."

I followed the sulking Harry as he tried to hole up in his dormitory, and when I handed him the potion vial from Professor Snape, hoping it would at least help, he smashed it against the floor. The clink of the breaking glass was so light it was almost comical.

"Harry!"

"I don't need charity from someone like him."

Hermione tried to follow him further, but this time it was my turn to stop her.

"Maria! You can't let him get away with this!"

"It's fine... Harry is probably already regretting it by now."

"You don't know that!"

"I do know."

Lashing out, isolating himself. And then, the rational part of my mind would relentlessly accuse me in endless circles. The me from back then was truly... the worst.

After I finished picking up the remnants of the potion vial, Hermione, still looking displeased, cast the Vanishing Spell she had completely mastered on the rest of the mess. Watching this, Ron seemed to remember Professor McGonagall’s warning that it would be on their O.W.L.s, and he looked anxiously at the mountain of homework left untouched on his desk, including the Vanishing Spell practice.

"...Shall we do it together, Ron? You too, Neville."

""Maria!""

The voices of the two boys struggling with their homework brightened. Hermione turned her nose up with an I-don't-care-anymore attitude and returned to her own dormitory. You're not going with her, right? I simply couldn't bring myself to abandon my classmates, who were clinging to me with puppy-dog eyes.

"You have to think for yourselves first, okay? I'm only giving you hints."

"Yeah! Thanks, Maria. I thought I was never going to finish this in my entire life."

"Relax, Neville. Even though she says that, Maria always ends up letting us see her essays."

"I see. I am absolutely not letting Ron see it, no matter what."

"I'm kidding! Our Lady Maria, I beg of you, please."

I chuckled at Ron, who was pretending to bow down before me. Neville also smiled, his round cheeks trembling. Then, he whispered timidly.

"Maria... um, is Harry going to be okay?"

"...Ron, you show him yours. I think you're easier for Harry to approach right now than I am."

"You think so?"

"I do. Take care of my brother, best friend. If you do... I might just throw in my Moonstone essay as a bonus."

"As the merciful Lady Maria wishes."

Ron pressed his head flat against the desk again. Neville and I burst out laughing.

It was Saturday. Harry had been released from his detentions, and Ron had safely been chosen as Keeper. The two of them had been practicing since the morning. —And as for me.

"Miss Potter, may I ask you a question? Why did you add the Fire Crab jewel before stirring twice clockwise? It appears there was some sort of obstruction before my instructions could reach your brain."

"........"

I was taking one-on-one lessons from Professor Snape. In front of me was a cauldron bubbling over with a suspiciously colored liquid. And then there was Professor Snape’s deeply creased scowl. That was a permanent fixture.

I was the one who asked for this. I figured that if Harry refused to accept potions from Professor Snape, I could just brew them myself. After all, Harry was likely to suffer Umbridge's detentions many times from now on. However—my talent for Potions had been abysmal ever since my time as 'me'. I was already full of the desire to throw in the towel. If only this man didn't have such a habit of making snide remarks... or rather, perhaps I should say, a desire to be hated.

"I'm sorry. Please let me try once more."

"Oh, ho, I see. The beautiful princesses of Gryffindor seem to believe that ingredients simply spring forth from an infinite well."

"...I apologize for wasting the ingredients. If you would be so kind, please instruct me from the beginning once more."

"...Hmph."

With a flick of Professor Snape's wand, the grotesque liquid vanished, and the task was quietly resumed without us making eye contact. I've really grown up, too. If this were Harry, he would have thrown the cauldron by now—no, the Harry of this world might be able to hold back up to three times.

Even he—seemed considerably softer than the Professor Snape from 'my' memories. For one thing, extracurricular lessons would have been impossible unless ordered by Dumbledore. ...Wait, could it be that he was ordered to? To keep an eye on me as well—?

"Miss Potter. If you cannot concentrate, do not stand in front of a cauldron. Realize that you are wasting my time at this very moment."

"I-I'm sorry. I will concentrate."

I cleared my head of distracting thoughts and placed powdered Dittany onto the scales. —Because even this time was infinitely precious to me. I had to cherish it.

"...Your mother used to brew with great dexterity, however."

"...."

Without thinking, I stopped my hands and looked up at the man in front of me. Professor Snape was looking into the cauldron.

"...That's rare. For you to talk about my mother, Professor."

"........"

No words came back in response. But—at that moment, Professor Snape's eyes were those of a person with feelings.

The girl was expressionless, like a doll. However, the hand pulling my arm was full of strength.

"Astoria."

We turned at the end of the corridor and passed through the courtyard. By the time we were no longer passing anyone by, we had somehow emerged into a place that looked like a small flower garden. It lacked the splendor to be called a proper flower garden, so it was more like the ruins of one. Astoria sat down on a well-worn bench. Up until this point, I hadn't exchanged a single word with her. She had roughly grabbed my robes in the corridor and hauled me off without any room for argument. Thank goodness today was a free Saturday.

"Hey, Astoria."

Was it alright to have her out under the sun? Feeling anxious, I draped my robes over her shoulders. I thought she might run away saying she hated the color red, but Astoria grasped the robes with her small fingers.

"You have something to talk about, don't you? With me?"

Astoria finally opened her mouth.

"—Draco-oniisama..."

"Yeah."

"Draco-oniisama is being isolated."

"........"

—I had imagined as much. Draco was currently trying to protect the things precious to him using an unprecedented approach. And that was—also a method of discarding the things precious to him.

"Last summer holiday, at King's Cross Station, Draco-niisama... with you... it has become a rumor."

"...Are you trying to say it's my fault?"

"No. For anyone who knows Draco-oniisama, it was something understood a long time ago. ...Such as myself, for example."

"I-I see..."

I couldn't treat it as someone else's problem, but acting like the person involved was too embarrassing, so I mumbled awkwardly. Astoria had quiet eyes.

Little by little, I was beginning to understand. When she wore that doll-like, beautiful expression—a tempest of fierce emotions was swirling inside her.

"Then, did you come to vent your resentment at me? You're—um—going to get in the way, aren't you?"

"Yes. Draco-oniisama's feelings and your feelings, Maria, are irrelevant. For my own sake—for my own self-satisfaction, I was going to tear you two apart... That was my intention."

—Was your intention?

I stared at the girl in the face of this clear shift. Catching my gaze, Astoria bit her lip slightly.

"The situation has changed."

"The situation?"

"—The House of Black."

"...."

"Your godfather, Sirius Black—now that the legitimate bloodline of the House of Black is trying to regain its power, Draco-niisama might not need to be as bound by his family name as he thinks. Because, you might be legitimately welcomed as an adopted child into the House of Black and take the Black name."

"........"

So, that's how it is. I hadn't even thought of that. After all, either way, I am a 'Potter'. Whether I am Harry Potter or Maria Potter—never once have I considered abandoning who I am as my father and mother's child.

"The balance has rapidly collapsed, and the pure-blood community is in chaos. And at a time like this, Draco-oniisama..."

"...showed signs of aligning his heart with the blood traitor Potter side."

"That is correct."

Phew. Both of us simultaneously let out a heavy sigh. Draco, you idiot... just how much are you going to make this brave girl worry about you?

"Draco-oniisama's position is currently very precarious. At this rate... But, I just don't know anymore. If Draco-oniisama were to just go over to your side, perhaps that would be—that would be for the best—or at least, it would save him from the worst..."

"—Astoria."

Seeing Astoria unconsciously hanging her head, my chest merely tightened with a pang.

"You really do love Draco, don't you."

Astoria smiled. —Beautifully.

"Of course. —Because I am in love with him."

What a serene expression. I never knew there was such a way to love someone. Even though I thought I was already an adult, I was constantly learning from her. Her feelings always managed to take my breath away.

"Draco will be fine. I'm not going to reciprocate his feelings—or at least, that's what I think—don't glare at me."

I don't need an answer. I was self-aware enough to know I was taking advantage of those words and running away, so the straightforward gaze from this girl who cared for him hurt too much.

"He'll be fine. He's thinking things through more than you'd expect. ...He's putting you first, too."

"........"

Astoria's lips trembled, and then, letting out a small groan, she covered both her cheeks with her hands.

"If I rejoice at this, it makes me an awful woman, doesn't it?"

"But, are you happy?"

"I am happy."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at the girl who nodded so honestly.

"Isn't that fine? That's perfectly fine. Because Draco likes that exact part of you."

When shown such a touching and endearing side of her—how could anyone not love her?

"What about Maria? Will Maria... not come to hate me? Thinking I'm an ugly woman?"

"Do you think I would?"

"...I suppose not. You are the rival I acknowledged, after all. You're an unfair person."

We giggled together. As expected, a smile suits Astoria best. Rather than the beautiful doll you are—it's just plain Astoria that we find so dear.

"It'll be okay. ...I'm sure it will be okay."

On the bench, I placed my hand over her small one. Astoria's profile looked as though she was just about to burst into tears.

It will be okay. Because the people of the Malfoy family... are all individuals who possess the resolve to 'live'.