V4: Chapter 46: ​​The End of Summer and Cremation Memories?

Chapter 46: ​​The End of Summer and Cremation Memories?

Before I knew it, I was chasing after her as she left the house.

She did say she wanted be alone, but... even so, there's no way I can leave her alone after she left with that look on her face.

Fortunately, she was found safe and sound.

Because she was standing on a bridge near the dormitory, staring down at the fast-flowing river with vacant eyes.

I shifted up another gear and ran—and flew—towards her.

"Don't be hasty!"

"Wha, whoa!?"

I grabbed her tightly from behind as she held onto the bridge railing. I managed to make it just in time. I cautiously glanced at her face... and saw a look of confusion.

"You suddenly came running... w-what are you doing?" (Jane)

"Aren't you going to jump?" (Satellite)

"No, I had no intention of jumping...I was just looking at the scenery."

"...Was I jumping to conclusions?"

Thinking about it, she must have erased her memories several times after seeing this box, following the instructions. While there was a possibility of her memories being erased, there was no need to worry about her jumping...was there?

"Oh, sorry..."

"So, what did you come here for? I thought I told you not to leave me alone."

She said it dismissively...unusually for her, such a strong denial made me flinch.

"Oh, you came because you were worried about me, right? Thank you, thanks to you...."

Then she suddenly looked at me, startled, and glanced at my face. Behind that expression, I saw...

...Fear. 

Three "promises" ingrained in her core: the desire not to be disliked by everyone. The fear of being disliked if she appears grumpy.

"You don't have to force yourself to pretend, I won't dislike you." (Satellite)

"But...!" (Jane)

Even if it's a personality she's made up later, there's no way I'd care.

Besides, I'm the one putting on an act at school and in front of the media.

"You're... disappointed, aren't you? That I was such an empty person." (Jane)

"I mean, I don't even mind about someone as empty as Squire, so there's no way I would mind about something like that now, right?"

That said, telling her she should live with the same mindset as me would be a little harsh. Everyone understands that they don't like themselves, and that's especially true for someone who's lived a life of constant rejection.

"You know, Jane-chan's feelings..." (Satellite)

"My feelings..." (Jane)

"I... don't understand them at all!" (

"No, you don't understa—...... huh??"

That was the obvious conclusion.

We grew up in different environments, with different appearances and personalities.

There's no way I could understand her circumstances or feelings. That's why...

"I had so much fun when we went to the movies together... I like the Jane you are now!"

"Huh... what? Isn't that selfish...? Shouldn't you be comforting me in a situation like this?"

General opinions don't matter.

Ultimately, the reason I've become so invested in her, even going so far as to visit her family's home... is partly because Squire asked me to, but also because I like Jane.

I enjoyed being with her, that's all. Even if her personality was an act... that's probably very important to her.

That being said, I should also be free to express my feelings.

For me, who hasn't seen the past, Jane Doe, the magical girl, is... nothing more than a friend who adores me and is fun to be around. And besides...

"I don't think you're empty. Do you remember when we went to see the movie?"

"I remember, but... what does that matter?"

At least to me, she didn't seem empty.

I feel like there were times when she was forcing a smile, but at least when we went to the movie, she seemed to be laughing from the bottom of her heart.

"You told me about Sunday morning anime with such enthusiasm, I ended up binge-watching them afterwards."

"But that was because I liked it as a boy... in the end, the me now was just an illusion..."

Certainly, the 'trigger' that made her interested in those things might have stemmed from the suggestion that she had to be boyish.

"Things like preconceived notions, or being invited by a friend... or even being manipulated into liking it. Those kinds of triggers might be important, but..."

Even so, no matter what the trigger was.

"If your feelings of liking 'it' now aren't a lie... then I think that's okay."

The words that came out of my mouth felt much more right than I expected.

Now that I think about it, I've probably... felt some kind of guilt towards her all this time.

But even if the trigger was hypocritical...

If it's true that her heart was saved that day, then maybe that's okay.

"Even if the trigger was something given to you... if you truly like it from the bottom of your heart, then I think that's okay."

The past is certainly important, but I don't want you to suffer by being too trapped by it.

"Even if you tell me that now, I don't know anymore. Should I start taking up girly hobbies from now on? Or... should I continue acting like a boy like I've always done? I don't know what the right answer is... I don't know anything anymore!" (Jane)

That heart-wrenching cry was the very essence of her life's struggles, something you'd want to cover your eyes from.

A girl raised to be a boy.

She lost her place in the world after becoming a Magical Girl.

"Do you still think both of those movies we saw that day were interesting?" (Satellite)

"Well, um... they were interesting, but that doesn't matter now...!" (Jane)

"Then I think you don't have to choose either." (Satellite)

Everyone is guaranteed freedom of inner conscience. Especially if that hobby doesn't harm anyone like mine did... do what you want.

"Even if you have boyish hobbies, it's okay to wear cute clothes. And even if you have girly hobbies, it's okay to dress stylishly."

You should dress like that depending on your mood, and you should literally forget the curse of those 'former parents' of yours... or so I think.

"Of course, it's fine to like both, like me. I like heroes, but I also like romance. That's okay."

"That's... that's such a luxury, there's no way I'm allowed to do that..."

To allow it...that means that somewhere in her heart, she longed for it.

"Who won't allow it? Your Mom, Your Dad? Or... your past self?"

"W-well...I don't know!"

"Then I'll allow it for you. I, the Greatest Magical Girl who killed the most External Enemies and saved the most people in the world, will allow it."

If that's the future she desires, all I have to do is give her a push.

Just because I wanted it, it should be forgiven... it's a little arrogant, isn't it?

"You don't have to deny your past self, or your present self... Jane, you can now decide for yourself what you want, what you like... the person you want to become."

"Is that so...really, I..."

She slumped to the ground. I looked at her face worriedly, but... her face looked as if a burden had been lifted.

For a while, she stared blankly at me and the sky, and then a single tear glistened in her beautiful eyes. I don't think I've completely dispelled the darkness she carries in just today, but... I think I've been able to give her a little push to move forward.

"Can I lean on you for a little while...?"

"Yes, as long as you like."

I hugged her tightly, and I could hear quiet sobs and whimpers in my arms.

It must have been a few minutes, or perhaps a few tens of minutes. With her eyes swollen from crying, she looked at me intently, the emptiness she had earlier gone.

I offered her a hand to help her stand up, but... perhaps her legs were numb, because she couldn't stand properly and sat back down again.

She continued to hold my hand affectionately, but then suddenly came to her senses and pouted.

"I think I kind of understand what Squire-chan was saying."

"You're going to say something that makes me curious, aren't you?"

I wanted to talk a little more, but even though there weren't many people around, we were on a bridge. I was starting to feel self-conscious about the stares of passersby.

"Shall we head home for now?"

"Y-yes, let's do that..."

She was still sniffling... so I ended up carrying her on my back and returned to my room in the dorm. The warmth I felt on my back wasn't unpleasant at all, even in the summer heat.

★

I stayed by her side until she calmed down after we returned to her room.

Just moments ago, she had been pouring out her emotions, but now she was smiling brightly.

The slight redness around her eyes—it would be kind to pretend I didn't notice.

"You look good in that outfit, but... actually, you've always wanted to try something cute, haven't you?"

"Wha... but it wouldn't suit me..."

"I don't think so, you have a cute face."

"Cute...!? I'm not so easy to seduce that I'd be hit on that easily!"

Watching Jane-chan wave her hands flusteredly and embarrassed like that, a brilliant idea came to me.

"That's it, I've got a great idea. Take off your clothes, okay?"

"W-what's with the sudden request!?"

"It's okay, it's okay, just take them off quickly?"

Following her, who seemed somewhat nervous, I took off my clothes as well.

★

I wanted to at least let the warmth of my body heat cool down on my clothes.

Jane appeared, dressed in a white dress.

She looked flustered, her cheeks flushed, and her head bowed; she was a beautiful girl from every angle.

Nothing sexual happened. It was getting late, and there wasn't time to go shopping for clothes, so I just had her wear what I was wearing.

I felt like if I missed this chance, she'd find some excuse not to wear cute clothes... so I decided to take a more forceful approach.

These things are all about momentum and flow.

"Is it really not strange?"

"It suits you, it looks good... so my judgment isn't wrong, isn't it?"

She had changed from her casual clothes to a pure white dress... if you asked a hundred people, a hundred would say she was a beautiful girl. The white dress looked stunning against her healthy, tanned skin.

She was like a girl announcing the arrival of summer.

Well, it's been getting a little chilly lately, though.

"You can just change your clothes depending on your mood, I have several outfits like this too."

"You say that quite easily... or rather, you should have told me what we were going to do first! I thought for sure..."

"You thought for sure?"

"N-nothing!"

She had become even more like a bright red apple, and as if she had forgotten I was there, she spun around in front of the mirror.

I was about to call out to her... but stopped.

She looked so happy. Having nothing else to wear, I transformed into a magical girl.

So convenient, Magical Girls are so convenient in times like these.

While I was taking pictures of her and wondering what to do with the diary... I realized it was already evening. Because I'd missed lunch, a cute little rumbling sound echoed through the room.

I thought I should head home soon, or my mother would be worried, so I started packing my things.

"Are you... leaving already?"

But... a girl tugged at my sleeve, as if to stop me from leaving.

"You don't have any guest futons, do you? It would be a nuisance to stay the night..."

"I, I can sleep on the floor or the sofa!"

"I'm not so brazen as to make the homeowner sleep on the floor while I sleep in their futon..."

Unless it was a desperate situation, it wouldn't take that long to get home at this time of evening, but...

I finally understood what she was trying to say.

"Do you want me to stay the night?"

"Well, it's just... being alone in my room is kind of... no, never mind! Today was really..."

Perhaps I wasn't considerate enough.

She'd been avoided even by her parents until now, so there's no way she wasn't craving human warmth.

However, I can't stay here forever... ah...

"Can I ask you something? I know this is a crazy suggestion, but..."

"What's wrong? It was pretty crazy when you suddenly asked me to take my clothes off already."

"Well, I know that's true, but..."

Certainly, my mood might have been a little off.

But, it's not like I'd suddenly invite you to bed when you were heartbroken, is it?

Anyway, more importantly... I have a suggestion.

"If you're okay with it, Jane-chan, would you like to become my child?"

"...Huh?!"

★

Several days had passed since that day.

I had my reasons for inviting her to my house so suddenly that day.

I thought her low self-esteem and overwhelming loneliness stemmed from the fact that she had never been loved by her parents.

I knew it was a drastic measure, but I had the idea that it would be good for her to have a family who would give her unconditional love.

Even if there was no blood relation... my mother is a saint, and it's presumptuous to even compare her to "that" person.

After all, my mother even letting Lux, who suddenly appeared, stay with us.

...Lately, I feel like Lux is being treated more like her own child than I am.

And the conclusion of that conversation was...

"Oh, I actully came..." (Jane)

"Come on in!" (Mother)

With my mother's quick approval, the decision was made to welcome her in.

Before I knew it, the procedures were finished... and Jane was finally coming to my house.　

The speed at which this all happened made me suspect the association president might have been involved.　

"Speaking of which, bringing me home like this... are you after me like Squire-chan? I mean, after hearing what you said the other day... I thought that if I were to date someone, I'd prefer a man..."

"No!? I was actually warned not to try and hook girls more than this..."

"...More than this? What do you mean by 'more than this'... You don't mean... that, do you?"　

This wasn't the kind of conversation to have in front of the door, so I hurriedly pulled her inside. If the neighbors started spreading rumors, true or false, it would ruin my carefully maintained outward appearance.

"Uh, yeah... I guess it's probably just as you imagined..."

"Hmph... maybe I jumped to conclusions a little too quickly?"

Jane frowned and gave me a cold look. But in reality, far from what she imagined, I'd actually been involved with four girls... or rather, they'd been involved with me.

"Well, um..."

She seemed hesitant to say something, then turned back to me as if she'd made up her mind.

"Please take care of me from now on... Onee-chan."

"Hehe, you can rely on me for anything, okay?"

And so, I gained a younger sister.

That summer scene... came to an end.

In a family that was supposed to have only one child, an older sister and a younger sister suddenly appeared...?

It's become so much livelier compared to back when it was just the two of us.

But now I have yet another reason why I can't lose...　

"W-what's wrong? I don't know what's the matter when you look at me with such a complicated expression."

"No... it's nothing!"

Seeing my sister's happy face, I thought to myself, "Well, maybe that's not so bad after all."

★

The seasons changed, and it was autumn.

As if to say that peaceful days don't last long.　 　

"Shizuku? Um... you're free this weekend, right?" (Chloe)

"I'm free... but what's up?"　

What I secretly feared... was becoming a reality.

"My Father... he really wants to see you."