Chapter 96:

Chapter 96: Faith is complicated and strange and it is not for the faint of heart



Faith, everything in this galaxy starts and ends from faith and this would naturally lead one to ask the most obvious thing one can ask about it.

What is faith?

If you were to ask a thousand people this exact question you would have two thousand answers at the very least by the time you asked everyone, as few if any have the same exact definition of faith in their mind, even if they use the same words to describe it. The answer I settled on for now is that Faith is the belief that your very existence is less important than something else and that you yourself submit to that something or believe yourself as merely a part of that something, a small part of something greater.

People that sacrifice for their nations do so out of faith, perhaps for their nation, perhaps due to the belief that the lives of others is more important than their own or because they believe they are protecting something greater than themselves with their sacrifice.

All societies composed of people, as opposed to intelligent animals, possess faith and that is because faith is central to how people and the societies they make operate, as in order for an animal to become a person they need to think of something beyond their bodily needs and that which derives from them and if you want them to actually form societies then they need faith to serve as a binding agent, to give them a sense of commonality and to serve as the basis for a common sense of reason.

This is so, for reason is a derivative of faith, as reason requires a common sense of values, of importance, of right and wrong and the only way for people to have that is through faith, because the target of faith needs not be divinity.

Humanity is special in that instance where the targets of their Faith becomes anthropomorphized and thus gains human qualities such as an identity, but this is not the norm. Most species when introduced to a concept to have faith in do not turn it into a god, and while I can understand why that happens in Mankind it is still strange to see it.

Eldar on the other hand struggle with faith, even as it is present, because it is very difficult to think of something as more important than ourselves despite our willingness to die for various causes. This is so because Eldar have three ways to express the ultimate act of faith, which is self-sacrifice while most other species only have one and I am capable of imagining myself doing only two of those with any ease.

Eldar have three ways to self sacrifice: Death, Life and Existence which would translate to other species as the Sacrifices of Convenience, Hardship and Soul.

To give your death for something is that which most are willing to give as we can always recover from it, because death can always be turned back for we are immortal. This doesn't mean that death is not traumatizing for us, especially for young souls, but to die does not carry the same implications for Eldar as it does for others. This is merely a matter of convenience to most Eldar and it is why it is the least valuable form of sacrifice and some eldar societies don't even call it that, they call it a chore.

To give your Life for a cause is different from dying for it, as one does not only die with this act, but give up their identity, that which they have worked hard for and it is what most Eldar are willing to give to others, including the Divine or even royalty. This represents commitment, the sort of thing that is equivalent to loyalty but is not quite that.

Existence is the final tier, it is when you not only give up your life, but your very continuance, the ability to be reborn to experience eternity in the service of something and I am unashamed to admit that there is almost nothing in existence that would make me do that.

The only exception are my triplet siblings, for when I needed them the most as I was thrust into a hostile world where I was facing the cessation of my existence or corruption until the distinction is meaningless, the three of them stood by my side and were willing to face said fate with me. I can't not repay that with anything but faith and thus this is what I will repay them with if the time ever comes that I need to.

Nothing else, not even the divine, can make that demand from me.

Cegorach and my other siblings and nephews have been wonderful and have given me a goal and a family worth fighting for as we plotted the downfall and misery of our foes and for that they have earned many lives of loyalty from me, but I will not sacrifice my existence for them. Khaine has been a generous patron and his gifts and guidance have been great and appreciated and for that I will continue to serve his interests for many lives, but if it comes down to it I will place my existence ahead of his if the choice ever comes.

Even Isha, lovely Isha that loves me and tries her best to make me happy by settling down, I honor her by making sure I spread ways of making food across the stars outside of the Empire so that her children may never grow hungry again, but even she knows that my love for her has limits.

The Pantheon knows that their priests are faithless and even in those who have some faith left in their souls, their faith is never for them because both parties know very well that faith helps neither of them, not while we are still under the chains of the Old Ones, for equality between Mortal Eldar and Divine Eldar is a necessity as far as both sides are concerned.

Our Gods despite being imposed on us are not our masters, we can't allow them to be our masters and it is in their best interest if they are not, for both parties wish to be free of the Old Ones and the subordination of Mortals to Divinity helps enforce it and both sides want it to stop. We want to be free of War and to be free of the Cycle of Violence our Parents forced on us.

It is for this reason and more that I continue to suffer through this life, even if recently I hit a windfall as I managed to scam a pirate clan of all they are worth after some of theirs tried to mug me. They seem to disagree and think they scammed me but I'll be generous and say instead that we had a mutually beneficial agreement.

"If all priests of the pantheon are this generous, it's a wonder why aren't they welcomed in more places." Solas Tuina said as we continued looking through his clan's hidden stashes.

All pirate clans steal from a large, large variety of people a large variety of goods and unfortunately they don't know what everything even is. And so, the things they know are valuable or have buyers they trust and like they sell, and the things they know little of they store until they find a use for them or people to sell them to.

I offered them my services to appraise their stashes in exchange for a cut of the things I found useful for me personally in them.

So far I got a nice little backpack, two bags and a few dozens dream crystals they had stashed away and didn't know what they were. I taught them that, filled a few of them with some knowledge and taught them how to do it themselves and left them to it as well as appraised a few other artifacts and taught them what they do.

They seem to think they got the better end of the deal somehow, which was a curious thing. Did they not know that priests always get the better end of the deal?

"I struggle to think why you think so. I am a logistics officer as well as a priest, so me doing what I am doing helps my goals more than it helps your clan." I replied.

That made my host's face scrunch up in confusion.

"How does that work?" He asked.

How adorable, they truly have no clue what priests do. If it was any other priest here the pirates would beg to have been wrung dry of everything they had by the time they were done with them as opposed to being generous.

"The Armada has the food synthesizers I gave you and more and better ones too. Our ships can be grown by a single bonesinger and repaired fast and the vast majority of our armies have no supply bottleneck in what they need to operate and each soldier is self-sufficient or the Psy-Automata handle such issues when a deficiency appears or can be exploited by others. What then can I possibly do as a Logistics Officer to be useful to the Armada? The Armada does not tolerate uselessness after all." I asked.

It was a question that has plagued many Logistics officers and for most of them the answer was nothing, and so they went to do something else and left what little parts of our supply chains remained to be handled by the Maton, but the position is still on the books and it was the easiest one to get for me after getting married to a queen. It didn't change the fact that I did need to make myself useful with it if I wanted to keep it after I finished setting up my wives' military-industrial complex.

He thought about it as I proceeded to look onto the next crate. This one had human technology, a sort of crystal data repository in a language I didn't know but was thankfully un-encrypted. I recognized the format though and it was hilarious to see that here.

'Human tax revenue data crystals. They hold information of what I assume to be a century's worth of planetary tax collection, I do not recognize the language so I cannot say for sure, but I've seen those types of spreadsheets before.' I sang to the lovely assistant that notes down what I find.

She'd be more catching if she was wearing something to cover her upper body, but pirate women have strange fashion tastes.

"Humans have crystal based data storage?" She asked vocally.

"Some do, basic ones at least, as it stores information well and are quite srurdy, but the infrastructure needed to interact with them isn't and so it's fallen into disuse as their society crumbles from the storms. It might return in the future but I doubt it." I replied.

She nodded and continued to write that down.

We had an interesting system where I would tell them what something is through song and they would only use speech when asking for clarifications which is rather strange, but my hosts were pirates and pirates tend to gather superstitions with the same zeal they gather loot, and her partial state of undress is probably the result of one such superstition.

I continued looking over the large number of bone-white crates and cataloged what I could, but with the exception of human and eldar technologies I couldn't say much. Alien technology is alien for a reason and if the pirates couldn't say what it is then I had little chance of finding out myself.

'Burn that please, it carries divine energy from a divinity nobody should be bothering with.' I sang and pointed at the offending artifact.

The thing in question was a portrait of my grandmother, which reeked of divine power and that the pirates decided to hold in the hopes of finding a buyer.

The two pirates proceeded to shoot the thing with their las-pistols and then set it on fire with psychic fire. It seems that I have earned a lot of trust as I showered the fools with knowledge and when I say something must burn or is useless they fully believe me.

It took less than 24 hours for this level of trust, but it is simple enough to earn it, especially when the other side has a truth teller among them. Operate in good faith and make the other party very rich and they will trust you and the clan seems that it has decided that I am perfectly capable and willing to do that.

"I admit I cannot think of what would a logistics officer be able to do to be useful in that case friend." Solas Tuaina said with humility and shame.

How cute.

Whoever managed to marry him managed to get an incredible catch because the man is a pirate with a spine and some humility and shame? That woman might have well won a lottery.

"There is no shame in not knowing, most of my predecessors certainly did not know either and the position is as a result a rare one these days, but what we do these days is look after Eldar societies that have a large technological deficit by choice, chance or design and we arrange for their industry and logistics to actually be coherent and make sense and be good enough to prevent the need for the Armada to intervene." I answered.

More alien technology I had no clue what it did was presented to me, and with the exception of one piece of technology they integrated that was of eldar make, a targeting crystal, none of it made sense to me. I continued walking after singing this to do woman who noted it down.

"How so? I thought the Empire's worlds were all far more technologically advanced than us."

"Most of them are, the middle worlds and song worlds at least are always more advanced than what you can find outside of the empire, but the Periphery worlds are not as well established. They are worlds that were either settled on by individuals with a plan and no technical skills, planets that have decided that certain technologies are to be banned or refugee/ runaway slave colonies that need to remake civilization from base principles and very rarely are they actually well established and mature colonies that just so happen to be on the edge of the Empire.

My job as a logistics officer is to make sure that such worlds remain in some way or form useful and self-sufficient and can look after themselves without the Armada to bother with them and recently I have been given the mission to do so outside of the Empire as well."

The bald man looked surprised at that as his own knowledge of what I have been doing merged with what I just said.

"Your job is to make sure the worlds outside of the Empire have their logistics established and bottlenecks such as food removed from the equation. And you took payment twice to see it done." He accused with a smile.

He realized now that all they had ask to receive what I already gave them was to ask, it's my job to make sure that certain skills and building techniques are spread around and them getting what I am offering them is quite literally my job.

They can't even ask for more from me, I've already given them all I was required to give them with the knowledge in the dream crystals as well as a little extra to serve as an incentive for my schemes. The fools paying me for it out of their own volition is me being paid to do what I was already planning to do, what I was already required to do and what was my duty to find out how to do, even if it meant paying them.

The purpose of logistics officers in current times was to make sure the various eldar societies on the periphery did not need the Armada to intervene to save them. Me and whatever other logistics officers are left do this by carefully disseminating certain technologies to remove certain deficiencies from the various Eldar societies that have chosen to live on the borders of the Empire or beyond them and in doing so save up time for the various soldiers that would have to waste time hunting down small fry.

It also helps prepare societies outside of the Empire for when the empire is gone which is a nice bonus, but I doubt anyone but us and the gods cares for that nonsense or thinks it relevant yet.

"I see you figured it out friend, I hope you will naturally tell others that the prices for what I gave you were ruinous and that I was an avatar of greed incarnate in our dealings." I answered with amusement.

The man nodded at that. If others knew I ripped them off and they still got far, far stronger and richer then they would be more eager to buy what I offered, either from me or from those I already sold it to then those I sold it to can demand far higher prices than I did and still claim it was a better deal than what they got from me.

Any price I would have asked of them was a less favorable than what they could have gotten as they could have been paid to be mightier and I would have had no choice but to pay them something.

"Why did you do it like this though? You didn't even ask for much either."

Another crate filled with things I've already categorized was in front of me. The assistant sang an apology and noted it down. I liked her reliability and if she continues like this she'll make a name for herself in no time.

"Would you have agreed to it if I paid you to learn what I taught you? Or even heard me out? Also doing it like this it also makes my job easier, as you and those I've given the knowledge to will rush to sell it before I can reach others thus making my job easier and yourselves richer. My duty is to make sure the knowledge of what I need to teach the Periphery spreads, I don't have a limit as to how I am meant to make that happen as long as it does." I revealed.

The man laughed at my laziness and craziness as with a few gifts and a deal too good to be true I both swindled them and caused them to have to hurry to seize an advantage before I could and they have to thank me for it as they benefit greatly and can still claim I ripped them off while at it.

There's a reason people don't trust priests, and that is that even when we're generous beyond measure we're still getting the better end of the deal no matter what and the more generous we are the more we get from you in return by the time we're done with you.

"And I would assume this cult of yours doesn't have access to what you're offering us and you need us to share your gifts."

How devious is my new friend. He knows exactly what I am thinking after bringing him half-way there.

"Some do actually, if only partially as I like doing more than the bare minimum sometimes, while others don't at all and you won't know who has what until you go meet them, trade and grow close enough with that they will be willing to share that which you don't have yet and do so fast enough before the 'honorable' ones just give them up and more for free and there's plenty of those guys around."

Friendship forced through greed and the ruthless attempt at getting an advantage and tempered by the barest cognizance of serving the same goal and the threat that if one is too forceful in getting a good deal then they'll lose out, and if they just wait they will still get what they want but will not be able to seize any advantage compared to others. However if they turn violent then they'll get a shuriken to the face for treachery. As such they are forced to be proactive, but not turn aggressive against fellow members of the cult and this will force the greedier factions of the cult to be more friendly in their interactions with others and hopefully make them more welcoming to those outside the cult as well, but that's going a bit far even by my standards.

And they'll do all that while they are not sure the other knows the same thing as them or even has something they can use and to reveal it would mean they have to share all they have willingly with the other eventually.

My assistant and host were quiet as they took in the level of mental gymnastics, duplicity and deception the priesthood baked into this entire endeavor, which all spawned from my idea that the gods forced me to implement early. It wasn't even that complicated, just a small scheme we decided we might as well try as we have no reason not to do so.

"That seems incredibly convoluted." The woman noted and the other man nodded in assent.

"If you know of another way to get our people to cooperate willingly short of their immediate and imminent demise at the hands of someone else please let me know because the priesthoods are all out of ideas at this point. Also it's not that complicated as it is something we did just because we wanted to see if it would work. It's a half-baked idea at best" I shrugged.

In the Aborted Timeline, a Malevolent God that wants you dead or worse is not enough, multiple gods telling you to at least try to cooperate is not enough, being ever closer to extinction as they are hunted down like animals one craftworld and sub-realm at the time is not enough and having an entire philosophy and the man that made it built around us working together to survive all of the above does not work. Not even going the other way around and torturing our people as they turn into animals gets them to work together unless they are about to die. Not even when you put them under all of those conditions at the same time, unless our people's lives are directly and immediately threatened and they can't escape it then they won't work together and even then there's no guarantee of that happening as exceptions will exist.

We're all out of ideas on how to fix that at this point and the others decided they might as well try my deranged lunacy this time. I doubt it'll work, but we haven't tried it yet so who knows, maybe I'm wrong and our people are capable of cooperating with one another without being threatened into it.

The two of them remained silent at that and I decided to take their silence as merely contemplation and not shame about them actually having considered just robbing blind those whose cause they've agreed to join, including me.

"This one is a strange one." The topless woman said as we approached the last crate they wished to show me.

It was a large one and I felt a strange tug at my instincts as I approached it. I opened my mouth and my tongue tasted something it did not wish to taste again.

"How so?"

"It's a statue, but we don't recognize the material, it's wraithbone but not." She said.

I… did not know what to think of that. I had an idea as to what I would find, but I sincerely wished to be wrong.

The crate in front of me had more to do with a cocoon and as we approached it started to sink into the floor. It left behind a five meters tall statue of Isha, a fully naked bone-white metalic statue of Isha at that, made out of a Wraithbone derivative material created specifically for Divinity for use. I had long hair, a kind motherly look and hands outstretched in a welcoming motion, as if inviting her children for a hug, and possessing of a twinkle in her eyes that oozed smugness to my senses despite it being perfectly blank stone.

At least it wasn't the Wraithstone. I would have hunted down whoever they got this from if someone decided to make an Avatar out of it.

My eye twitched, and even the other two eldar near me and even the distant onlookers of the clan, as impaired as their senses were, felt that I was not in a good mood from seeing it.

I proceeded to undress of my robes and threw them on the mother of our species whose Inactive Avatar someone decided shouldn't be wearing clothes, because I can't let our mother be naked and unprotected, no child can or should, because the madwoman will somehow use it to prank us.

I turned towards the two eldar that looked in stupefaction as my former robes returned to their original holder and enlarged themselves to fit her. Black is not exactly a good color for Isha, but it's all I have on me as it seems the woman will not let me even act like a pirate and wear the clothes I pilfer from my victims.

No, I have to get my clothes in a civilized matter.

"I'll need a new pair of robes friend." I grumbled.

I proceeded to ignore the now very dressed statue. Isha likes pushing the rules as always and I am not getting involved in this mess.

The two turned back to me and looked scared.

' Now what's that all about? All I want is some clothes, there's nothing scary about that.' I complained to myself.

I wasn't even trying to scare them this time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"What were those markings nephew?" My aunt asked me as if I knew or wished to know.

"Do you think the man would tell us if we asked? They're some weird Imperial tattoos that look like feathers probably." I answered.

Said man was now searching for a new pair of robes to wear with the help of some cousins while I wait for my aunt to calculate what treasure we've managed to gather without knowing what it is.

She's been helping our new 'friend' and I catalog our hidden stash as the man claimed he'll just take 10% of what he can claim to find useful and he can tell us what they are.

We said yes, not expecting much as we wished some time for out truth teller to arrive. Then the madman started teaching us how to use the things he did recognize and that was an interesting experience. Pleasant too, but interesting fits it better.

Having a man teach you how he swindled you and made you and your family rich beyond all what you thought possible was a confusing experience which made me wary of meeting a priest. If all of their thought processes are that tangled then it's probably better to not be near them when they're enacting a scheme.

She nodded at that, she didn't believe it, I didn't believe it either, as tattoos don't create that sort of heat distortions, not without heat at least, but whatever the strange red feathers are they don't emit any heat and yet they clearly affect the air.

"And the statue?"

The statue… now that I have no explanation for as Bessar Agail was content to ignore it, but no fool sailing the void will ignore a divine sign. That's how fools die and lose everything.

"The priest carved us a statue, we caught him as he finished up the clothes. We will have the younglings come and learn of our Mother under her protection and we will make offerings. Anything else we'll talk with the elders when the ships return and speak of it nowhere anyone else can hear."

Her green eyes looked into mine with disapproval. What did she want me to say? That I have all the answers and I can make the Great Wheel make sense?

I don't and can't, but I am not ignoring Divine Providence and I know better than to blabber about things I shouldn't know. I know my histories and know very well what happens when you blabber about things you shouldn't.

All sailors know to keep our holes shut when things that don't make sense happen. If it's the gods great, you keep the fact you got saved by them silent so they don't get into trouble with Asuryan, and if they aren't? Then best to thank the gods you made it out alive and you should shut up about it so others don't think you're cursed. Nothing good comes from trying to make sense of some things so it's better that you don't.

"How do the books look?" I asked.

The Books of Value are a ledger of all we have and until now they had too many unknown in them, but our new 'friend' managed to turn a lot of those into potential value.

"Ten times better than what they did before, for this warehouse at least, and that's what we can sell. Once I manage to match what we have here with what we have in the others we might end up having to close down one warehouse due to not having a use for them anymore until we can expand operations and fill them back again." She revealed happily.

I've never seen my miserly aunt so happy. At most she would be giving one a faint smile, but now she giggled like she was a little girl and her smile was a sight to behold.

I wish she would do that more, but the ladies and lords of the ledger rarely smiled.

"So much?"

She bobbed her head up and down.

"Yes, the dream crystals alone are worth half of that. There's 876 of them and we had no idea what they were but I did recall the price some of he princes and information brokers were willing to pay for one and even assuming the prices will go lower due to a large increase in the supply if we can slowly disseminate the crystals over a large period of time then we can quite literally multiply the clan's wealth just from them alone. The other findings can only match that through numbers, assuming we even sell them."

I smiled at that too, it was good that the clan was doing well now, but I did not forget where this is coming from which made my mood sour slightly.

"Keep the priest entertained, I'm going home to my boys." I instructed.

The Ladies and Lords of the Ledger can tell us how to allocate our resources, but when it comes down to it is those that fight that decide how the clan deals with outsiders, and I am the best of those left on the station so my word is law when dealing with outsiders. The elders can whine about my decision when the Captains come back, but until then they can go look after the young like they were supposed to be doing before my own found themselves in mortal danger.

You go to sleep thinking your sons are being looked after and wake up to their souls screaming for help and those screams all but possessing you to go find them when they should have been looked after by the elders.

I will be making my own complaints to them at sword point once things calm down and if they dare complain about what I decided then we'll need new elders by the time I'm done with them.

She nodded at my words and left to do just that.

Before yesterday I would have complained about the complexity and ambiguity surrounding the intricate web of social expectations and responsibilities between the clan members, now I am thankful that it's simpler than that which the priest called 'getting people to work together.'

The road to my quarters was short at least as our warehouses are never far from our dwellings and it took me minutes to find my family's blue door. The door slid open silently and I went to the master bedroom, for my sons were there and that was the only bed meant to accommodate four or more people.

'How are our sons?' I asked my sister, birth mother to two of them, and true mother to all four of them

'They have been sleeping for a few hours, I am in the room with them.' She sang back.

Good, I was already heading there.

I gingerly opened the door and looked inside my room. My four boys were sleeping on the bed, each holding a sword in its sheath as if it was the most precious thing in existence.

They were well, they were safe and a weight that I have been keeping for an entire day left me.

My sister was on the bed keeping vigil over them. And kept reassuring them that they were safe.

'Have they handled the man?' She asked.

I could feel it in theechoes of her tone, that she meant it as 'Have we killed him already?'

'No, the man managed to make us very rich by identifying a lot of our unknowns. We will also be joining his slave liberator cult and use it to grow our clan's wealth.' I answered as I sat near hear.

'It took me hours to calm them down after they were near him, they were hysterical and kept screaming of not having bodies, or of their bodies eating them and not letting go. Explain why we're letting this stand brother.' She demanded.

I did and I explained to her what has been negotiated so far and how our boys have tried to mess with. As I talked her emotions turned from annoyance, to incredulity and then fear which quickly turned to anger.

'Why were our children out with weapons?' She asked.

I wanted to know that myself shortly after I delivered the man to our warehouse. The answer was infuriating.

'Our sons were too eager to walk in our footsteps and have been preparing a heist of the weapons to go out on the station for weeks. They waited for my wife and your husband to leave and for us to go to sleep and rest from the voyage to enact their scheme and steal some mono-filament weapons. The Elders knew of this, they knew and let it happen as a prank to try and humble them by making it so that the weapons can't shoot and made it obvious to those familiar with the weapons and as they aren't they couldn't see it.' I explained.

I had to admit that it would have been a funny prank normally, if those it happened to were adults and not our children. I can even see the value of such a lesson, but the one pranking them should have been nearby to make sure they were safe.

What if they found the block and removed it? My children are reckless but they aren't stupid, they can remove a weapon's block if they notice that it's there. What if they met someone that didn't care for it? What if they died?

The Armada's Quartermaster said that he was amused by the children not knowing to remove 'the safety' as he called and said that all weapons with a non-psychic trigger should have that to prevent unwanted discharge. He even showed us how that worked by firing everyone's weapons and stopping the shots from reaching the floor

Ours don't have a psychic trigger, nor a safety normally but now it's going to become a feature of all our weapons as soon as the bonesingers can manage it.

'Whose idea was that? Morningblade or Mourningdawn? They're the only ones that moronic.'

'Our great grandfather Silverdream, those two encouraged and covered for him.'

I could feel her anger. Our grandfather was always a prankster and it seems he decided to now prank his descendants, and his prank instead put them in danger.

'Silverdream will pay.' She swore.

I did not use his first name as is appropriate of one's ancestors and it seems that now neither will my sister.

Silverdream may have been the one with the plan and he will pay for that, but the others knew of it and approved. We let the Elders look after our children teach them and keep them safe and safe they did not keep them.

All of the elders will pay for not looking after our children on the one day we needed to rest.

'How did he manage to get you all to not seek revenge, you specifically, this is not like you. You love wealth, but you love your family more and you won't ignore one for the other.'

I… I needed a drink.

'When the man speaks, he preempts your worries, your desires, your actions and everything that you wish to do or say and twists you around his finger with ease. At no point did I not want to skewer him, be he a military officer or not, but even before Shadowmask came and confirmed his identity to us as we prepared to jump him after getting him drunk, he could just diffuse the situation, turn it around and use our greed and desire to see our clan be well and succeed to get us to agree to everything he wants.'

I did not know how he did it, he claimed to not be able to see the future and yet he manipulated us with the same ease as the stories claim farseers can.

'D-Did her dominate your wills? Do I need to tell the clan that you have been subverted?' She asked fearfully.

This sort of manipulation is not normal. It's not something anyone can or should be able to do and yet the entire clan has experienced it, as the man just manipulated his way out of a death trap into us serving his schemes and being happy to do it.

Even as angry as I still am at him, even as fearful his manipulations made me, I am eager to do as he proposed as the benefits are great and I know that the captains will agree to it, for each of them is greedier than me still.

'Do so and pray they find something, I am more afraid about the fact that they won't find anything rather than the fact that they would.'

My sister shuddered at my words and my boys felt it too.

"Relax my sons, your father is here, you are safe."

That put them back to sleep and I smiled, for no matter how scared my sons could get they knew that their father would always protect them.

Now if only I believed my words too.