Chapter 84:

Chapter 84: Reality is what you make of it unlike it's counterpart which makes you what it is.



Dreams are universal, for all creatures dream, be they gods, mortals and everything in-between and beyond. Due to this dreams need someone to manage them, someone to serve as the link between mortals and mortals and the Divine and that somebody for the Eldar is Lileath, goddess of dreams, Prophecy, Youth, Moons and Fortune, be it good or bad and a few adjacent domains depending on her mood at any given time.

She is supposed to be the Divine Sister of our people, the Divine that is the most like the Eldar and the closest to how we are meant to be and she is by far the most meddlesome and shortsighted of the Pantheon, even if said shortsightedness is a half-a-ruse. Lileath is perfectly capable of engaging in long-term million years in the making schemes like every single other member of the Pantheon, but unlike every single other member of the Pantheon she primarily uses it to prank Eldar.

Even Cegorach pranks aliens from time to time, but Lileath focuses its scheming entirely on the Eldar to keep us on our toes and prepare us for the future and due to this the various priesthoods have had to make contingencies to deal with her meddling, the easiest and simplest of it being a proscription on Dreams of our junior members.

I liken it to forbidding children from using the phone all day and many of my peers find the comparison strange but close enough in concept, but unlike the phones of my old life dreams can't be self-regulating. We can control the dreams once we have them, but we cannot control if we have them and so senior priests forbid their juniors from dreaming to keep them safe from Lileath's meddling and snooping around and the fact it works on the new Divine's attempts at communication is just a coincidence.

Naturally, as it's not like the Goddess of Prophecy wouldn't have tried to help her siblings survive the catastrophe that comes like every single other Divine tries to do every single day. Our gods are just some masses of warp stuff doing fuck-all every single day and wallowing in despair and impotence or dead like every single moron on the Craftworlds or in the Empire thinks.

The craftworlders around me flinched as my thoughts turned into song and my escorts started openly praying to the Pantheon so that I don't go back to sleep. It seems that you can make Eldar think properly if you scare them enough, now if only you could shove some wisdom into their heads the same way, then they might learn how to use them.

My escorts flinched harder.

I had to hold back a sigh, three hours of sleep are nowhere near enough to rest properly but it is better than the one hour I would have gotten without the craftworlders jumping into the fray to protect me. I can't stop my thoughts from affecting the world around me properly still, and while I am not at the point where I just randomly throw lightning and kill off life around me at random I am not capable of preventing my song from being impacted by my thoughts and now my escorts are flinching at each bout of annoyance coming from me.

Waking up to my Younger Sister and navigator laughing at me put me in a good mood but that mood quickly turned back to my normal tiredness when the Craftworders sent me an escort kindly asking me to leave before I fall asleep again and now said escort of green and black armored soldiers is 'politely' escorting me to my ship.

It would have been more polite if they weren't praying to the Pantheon to keep me away just like the onlookers were. Oh they weren't shouting it but I am a priest, I know when people are praying, even when they're just muttering or some whispers escape their lips by accident.

The wraithbone hallways were just as welcoming as when I first came into them, but they felt more lively now, as if Anaen's children remembering they can hear our song made the song stronger.

I don't know how I should be feeling about this. On one hand teaching ignorant craftworlders to pray properly is a win, on the other, them praying that I never fall asleep again is hilarious, but one coming from the other just throws me off.

"They seem very eager to get us off Anaen." My younger sister observed.

"Yes, Laciena, might you guess as to why?" I quipped back.

Ah fear, not as tasty as love but it still has a sweet flavor. The craftworlders seem to still need some courage pumped into their souls, for they shouldn't hide why they want someone out of their home. If I didn't feel they meant me well I would have taken offense to it but they do and due to this they are absolutely adorable for I wish them well too.

They really should do something about their armor's life support systems, they're obviously faulty as there's no reason for them to be shivering from me meaning them well so it's naturally the fault of the suits.

"They now know of the Will of the Divine and wish to assist us in our holy mission brother, as there can be no other reasonable explanation for Eldar loyal to the Pantheon to be so eager to have us return to our priestly duties." My Younger sister said as she twisted the metaphorical knife in-between Anaen's ribs.

The warriors around us gave slight nod at that and their fear spiked.

She developed a bit of a sadistic streak it seemed which was amusing and understandable enough to see as dealing with craftworlders tends to make you want to rip them to shreds. I am still not over one of them not knowing that sight is both a psychic and physical sense. What did she think seers were doing? Hearing the future? What's next, smelling the past?

"Most likely." I responded as I nodded sagely at her words.

The children of Anaen knew now that the gods were very much alive, for they saw one trying to get to my soul and beg and there's few things that can make an Eldar deity start begging and one of those is a very determined Eldar and the other one our Divines and I certainly wasn't scary enough to make a Divine so scared for its life it starts to beg.

After all, I am a just a kindly madman and a fool, and not some scary eldritch being that makes even gods and mortals afraid with his very presence.

'I am glad to see you've managed to find a way to focus on reality and not be taken by the Song.' I sang to Laciena.

The rest of the craftworld was still struggling and the song spluttered and crashed around the warriors around me as they escorted the three of us to our ship.

'Yes, the heartbeat is surprisingly useful for it. Shouldn't we tell them as well?'

I considered her words and the answer should have been yes, it is after all the reason why the Eldar like to use our own heartbeats as a unit of measurement.

'No, it is better for the fools to figure out the answer themselves as they might find another way besides the normal one." I answered with amusement.

That was also a valid reason, but I truly just wanted the fools to suffer for their Ignorance. Better some embarrassment now with the chance of them to advance our knowledge of how to handle the Song of Our People, than just giving the fools the knowledge.

'Anaen and her children truly are favored by the priesthood and the Divine.' She replied back as her song mirrored mine.

She realized my reasoning before I finished giving it which I approved and made sure she knows of it.

Now if only our navigator was as capable of figuring out song on her own. I need her to be able to do her duty properly and like the rest of her craftworld she is slow to learn when her life is not in danger. I guess I will have to tell her when we are out of earshot of her people.

She wobbled and closed and opened her awareness of the Song of Our People every now and then and she has been told that it will prolong the time it takes her to learn how to deal with it and yet she keeps doing it, just like the rest of her people. Children can be excused for this stupidity, but centuries old veterans like she is shouldn't ignore the advice of those more experienced than them. Oh well, she will learn in time why that is a bad idea.

Our emotions are difficult to handle even without song and running from them is not how you handle things, instead what you should do is find a way to focus on something else, but craftworlders seem to think that the best way to handle your emotions is to push them aside which is just not true, for you need to replace them with something else or mix them with some sort of purpose and some discipline.

We entered the docking area now and the warriors of Anaen have prepared quite the departure ceremony for us and I could feel the ritual take both me and Laciena over, which meant that Diseth Aisse was behind this nonsense. He realized that priests are vulnerable to social norms and propriety and so put us into some to ensure we leave safely and most importantly without incident, for if someone breaks an important ritual involving us we get free reign to do as we please to them.

Warriors holding swords, spears and various types of guns were arrayed in front of us and raised their weapons to form a palisade above us. It is a greeting and farewell reserved for military officers and heroes. Anaen's banners also stood behind them which only reinforced the image of a craftworld saying its farewells to its protectors.

It is a cute attempt at a ritual and proof that I was right in thinking this man is different than the rest of his craftworlder kin. The man is truly willing to let go of his arrogance if it meant his people are safe which is something far too rare among our people and almost unheard of among craftworlders.

'What does this ritual do Bessar?' My Younger Sister asked.

'What does it feel like it is doing?' I asked back.

It would be an excellent test of her ritual knowledge. She knew better than to say this out loud as she felt the way the ritual required of us to act and knowledge of this spreading was too great a risk but her curiosity was blossoming into a truly beautiful thing.

'It feels like the craftworlders are honoring us and telling us it is time to leave.'

Yes it was, but that was only half the story, the other story is what it making us do and want of the craftworlders.

'Yes, now how is it telling us, or me specifically to act, or more exactly how is it allowing me to act?'

She nearly stumbled as she realized where I was getting at.

This is a ceremony meant for the military or heroes of our people and what those do is protect our people. The craftworlders whether they knew it or not were asking me to protect them, and due to that they also granted me power over them. They will have my protection from outside threats when I am there to give it to them, but they will be subjected to my nonsense in exchange.

A fair exchange normally, but not one I am entirely sure they even know that they are making.

'They don't know what they are doing.' She sang and silently laughed.

'They don't, but we will act as if they do because their actions can be interpreted as both wise and foolish and which will become truth will depend entirely on their actions.' I sang back.

There was a second possibility as to what was really happening but I did not want to think about it. It was better if that wasn't true or that if it was than I didn't know for sure, for both us and our treacherous nephew Lammor who was raised by my sister Sallara-Sao and thus knows of our relationship with propriety.

We were on the ramp now and have passed the point at which it started to close, but just as she closed my sister spoke her first words to me since I awoke.

"What is reality Bessar?" My sister asked me as the gate finally closed.

It felt as if the maw of a great beast had closed and while my sister might have wished to make it seem as if it was hers, it was mine for she had reached just where I wanted her to be for her fourth lesson.

"Reality is what you make of it, Laciena, I will give you the explanation you seek later as first we have some administrative issues and other lessons to handle."

She nodded and sang that she will keep me to it.

I turned towards our Navigator which has been silent throughout our entire trek to the ship and touched her head and stimulated her own sense of her own heartbeat.

She wore her blue armor still, for it is the uniform of her profession I now knew which was excellent for one shouldn't be outside of uniform when on duty.

That seemed to do the trick and she stopped warbling and almost stumbling around and once more refocused on herself.

"When you can walk without stumbling or singing off-beat follow me and I'll show you how I handle space. We'll handle where our quarters are after." I told the woman and walked towards the wraithbone core.

I had all of my necessities in my bags, same as my sister, but she came with nothing but the weapons on her and the clothes on her back for some strange reason and so we'll have to make her some clothes, assuming the ship didn't come stocked with them.

For now, I had a ship to familiarize myself with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My education was incomplete, this I know now for I have left my home as a child, but one piece of knowledge stuck to me as my mothers tried and failed to make me understand a fundamental truth about Eldar Priests. That truth is that every single one of them is some form of insane.

The priests of Cegorach see everything as a stage to perform on, the Priests of Isha are obsessed with growing families and having as many children, be it through childbirth or adoption and the priests of Khaine routinely go on killing sprees to 'toughen up' worlds, assuming those worlds survive it and all priests do similar things as relating to their patron. The Priests of Hoeth do something similar too I now learned, as they treat each and every single opportunity they can get to turn everything into a lesson.

"How are you going to pilot a the ship?" Our navigator asked.

Geinna Mara is a strange woman, a Khaine-touched that craves danger but not murder and was apparently part of Isha's schemes agaisnt my Older Brother, for what reason I can't understand yet.

She is ignorant, arrogant and in a dire need of a humbling and education and due to all of that she is something Bessar can't throw away, like rat-bait, for while she is dangerous for the rat, the rat cannot stop itself for going for the trap for it smells sweet and the priests of Hoeth can't stop themselves from educating others, especially when they all but ask for it.

She is also dressed in blue armor and has blue hair, which is apparently his favorite color too.

"By not bothering to pilot a ship, tell me what do you know of psychic technology?" Bessar responded with a question.

He always liked doing that, responding to questions with another so that he can answer what you wished to know by also telling you something else.

We were under the Wraithbone core of the Wraithship which the seers insisted for some reason we take.

The room was the same as the rest of the ship, white sterile and filled with the same white curves of the rest of Eldar technology but it felt wrong somehow. Eldar ships are pieces of art, each of them individually made by the shipwright and imbued with their hopes and stories.

This Wraithship was empty, I realized. There was nothing here but the Wraithbone itself and echoes of Anaens song, nothing but our own song. It was alive in a sense as all Eldar ships are, but it was a hollow thing compared to other vehicles I've been on. Even the ship of Commodore Eadon was not this empty of song.

"Psychic technology is the usage of psychic materials and power to replicate physical phenomena." The ignorant woman replied.

Both me and Bessar were amused by her answer.

"Partially correct, that is one of five types of psychic technology, albeit Eldar only really bother with three of them and this Wraithship is indeed a decent example of primarily one of them. Our technology is a mix of the three most of the time but in this one the concept of Imitation prevails." Bessar answered.

I only knew of three myself so this was useful knowledge for me as well it seemed.

"What are the other four?" The other woman asked with curiosity

"Laciena?" He asked as he turned towards me

So Bessar wanted me to participate in this as a student too.

"I know of only 3, Imitation, Addition and Emulation." I admitted plainly.

This is what I was taught, but it seemed my tutors did not have time to teach me all I needed to know. My lessons were mostly history, weaving and music anyway not the details of how our technology worked in comparison to that of other species.

"We only use two of those but she is correct. Imitation is when psychic technology mimics physical phenomena, the perfect example being Shuriken Pistols. Addition is when Psychic energy is added to an already purely physical process, similar to the concept known as 'blessed ammunition' of various gun using species such as mankind and the orks.

Emulation on the other hand is when a piece of psychic technology emulates an idea, similar to how some void fighters emulate the Swooping Hawks or when swords are made with the intention or thoughts behind the Swords of Khaine and they perform better in actions related to that which they emulate compared to things that do not. Would any of you like to guess as to the other two or should I reveal them?"

The other woman was thinking at it and I awaited before she would answer first as she probably needed this lesson more than I did right now.

"Synthesis? When part of the technology is psychic in nature but the other one isn't?" She answered.

Bessar was proud of the answer, this I could feel in both his song and see in his body language.

"And how is it any different from Addition?"

That stumped her and so I had to answer it it seems.

"Addition, merely adds a psychic component to an already functioning device, while Synthesis makes a device that needs both to function."

He turned to me and showered me in pride too.

"Excellent answers, now the last one is something called Obsession and it's not used that often but it is important. You two are familiar with psychically gifted races sometimes achieving strange and unusual results out of trying things they really shouldn't but somehow managing to not just explode for it? Obsession is that phenomenon taken to extremes where a single piece of technology is imbued with the mere desire for something to happen to such an extent it does."

So ritual is a mix of Obsession and Emulation technologies then? That would explain a lot actually.

"And what does this have to do with you not piloting this ship yet making it fly?"

The psychic energy in the room started to rise as Bessar's song started to seep through the room and took it over until the whispers of song became nothing but Bessar in all its terrible symphony of madness and despair

"This ship is made through Imitation primarily, with a bit of Emulation in certain parts of the design, and this makes it the closest thing to a blank canvas a ship can be, a blank canvas many eldar warriors have learned to fill with themselves." He said.

In one heartbeat he was talking and in the other he was gone and both of us looked up into the core as a mighty crash resounded through the ship. No it was not a crash, but a laugh, the ship was laughing, no Bessar was laughing.

The ship rumbled like a primordial beast of flesh and bone and slowly the pure white light turned a light shade of blue as the ship stopped being the empty canvas of Wraithbone it was once and its soul became Eldar, for the body was an eldar and so was its mind now too.

"How?" Two voices sang in fear as one.

This… This is madness, what is this?

A voice rumbled and it shook the ground and air with its power as the being that spoke, spoke from a greater realm of being than us and us, cowering would have not helped us, not when we could not even control our own bodies out fear and awe.

"In the Empire I was told that a great argument once again rages among its civilian population, a great argument on the nature of the Eldar and our relationship with our own bodies. There are many such arguments at any given time on the nature of the Eldar soul and on the nature of the Eldar's relationship with the body and even on the nature of our people's relationship with colors

All of them and especially the last one are more important than the argument on the relationship of the Eldar with their bodies, for as far as the gods are concerned all beings with the soul of Eldar and that carry their blessings are their children and are thus Eldar regardless of how they look, how they speak or even how or even if they walk and the Armada of Shattered Stars has learned to use this to its fullest potential." The ship rumbled in amusement.

It drank our fear until there was none left to hold in our souls which were left drained of it and all that was left was wonder, wonder at the madness we beheld. We was his spirit shrinking, modifying itself slowly until the great Leviathan became a gray shadow of the man who was here a few heartbeats ago.

"That's quite enough." The priest spoke and our souls obeyed.

The impossible awe was gone, our soul stopped needing to have its fear stripped bare as our senses were no longer inundated with the might of the ship sized Eldar soul.

"Are all eldar warriors in the Armada capable of doing this?" The navigator asked.

Her every word was filled with desire and awe like a child from my past life seeing a toy their hearts craved but that their parents could not afford and yet that only made them yearn for it more. I was still trying to recover from the experience as I did not know what Bessar said was even possible.

The gray shadow was amused at her tone now but it said nothing as it awaited for me to recover.

"No, the vast majority of us can't be bothered to learn it as it is quite annoying and provides little of actual interest for the price it demands of us."

"What price, are you stuck like this now?" I asked with dread.

If Bessar was stuck like this what did that mean for us and for him?

The Shadow was amused at our fear.

"No, I am not stuck like this, the price is that I can't hug people right anymore, nor can I kiss my wives and family or more importantly as far as other are concerned, stab most foes I see and laugh at them in a way they can comprehend. "

"Is it possible to learn how to do this?" The blue haired women asked the question which has been gnawing at her since the ship first spoke.

"In theory yes, for it took me a year to learn, but in practice no, for it requires the sort of healing I cannot provide. It took me a year of melding with wraithbone devices and vehicles and becoming part eldar and part machine abomination that did not know where I ended and where I begun and being brought back to sanity each day for an entire year before I learned how to do so safely and then turn back into an Eldar. I cannot provide such healing as it requires a knowledge of physical, mental and soul healing way past my abilities to achieve and the only part which I could claim I am close to being able to provide is the healing of the soul which is not sufficient to prevent you from regretting having ever been born." He spoke and I could feel the heart of Geinna Mara crumble with each word he uttered.

"What now?" I asked.

The gray shadow looked embarrassed? I have never seen Bessar sport that expression before so I could not be certain.

"Now, our navigator teaches me how to disentangle from Anaen's embrace as this is the first time I've been a voidship and I would rather hurry for my Audience with Anaen. It is a struggle to slowly get used to this ship, especially as it is not in a configuration and look I find comfortable still."

The navigator started doing her job now as she helped Bessar disentangle itself from Anaen.

I looked around, the smoothly curved wraithbone was changing as the Wraithbone core painted the empty canvas that was the ship into something different, something familiar yet Alien.

The Walls turned from being curved into something closer to human architecture of straight lines, empty white patches turned blue in places and the bone like texture of the walls turned into something between it's old self and marble.

I touched it and it felt different and yet familiar.

"Wraithstone" I muttered.

Bessar told me of this sibling material to our birthright but it was strange to see it here.

"It's the same material the Orphanage I was raised in was built out of, but this is not Wraithstone, merely Wraithbone modified to look and feel like it. I do not know how to make it, so this remains as the closest approximation of the material of my home as I can recreate. It was the last of the Old barracks of the White Towers of Hoeth before my adoptive father died and me and my siblings had to leave upon becoming adults." Bessar revealed sadly.

"And done, please be careful with plotting the course to remaining in orbit of Anaen." The navigator said softly.

There was a strange mix of emotions in her voice as she spoke, as if she was annoyed and yet incredulous at what she was seeing but I ignored it for now. Knowing the intricacies of how the Eldar body turned ship operated was not of much use to me for now.

"Should we head towards the bridge?" The other woman asked.

The shadow looked annoyed at her as if her words were both expected and unwelcome.

"No, you are going to pick a room for yourself while I shapeshift into something less infuriating to be in, this ship has far too many curves and not enough sharp lines, also Laciena catch. Keep them somewhere safe until I shapeshift back into flesh and blood, I'll handle your lesson in your quarters once you've finished settling in." Bessar instructed and I did as he asked.

I looked up and a warithbone sword, three bags and a backpack fell down gently towards me and I caught them. It was a bit annoying to hold them, for I too had my own bags and backpack but it wasn't hard to handle just annoying as I had to hold them in my hands and couldn't put them around me.

Geinna Mara took the backpack from my hands and two of the bags and I thanked her, for they were quite awkward to hold.

"I know where to find the crew quarters, please follow me." She said and I nodded and followed

"Why does this ship only have one generator? It should have two at least!" Bessar muttered behind us.

The two of us left the Core room and behind us the ship slowly turned from what it was into something as nonsensical as Bessar was, for Bessar was a ship now and the ship needed to be as mad as he was.